Trying to Adopt/Foster 2013 Chat Thread. - Page 7 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#181 of 335 Old 04-30-2013, 07:21 AM
 
deborahbgkelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Longmont, CO
Posts: 2,959
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Someone on another adoption board shared this cute video, so I thought I'd share it here too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADuSnt6PFn8&playnext=1&list=PLE84C99EA33B87618


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
deborahbgkelly is offline  
#182 of 335 Old 04-30-2013, 08:14 AM
 
Newbian Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Stilll lurking around Dharmaville
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Deborah - Lucky doggy! :)

 

sk8boarder15 - Welcome to the group! How exciting to be in the beginning stages of the process. I'm not sure about income verification in the private sector but at my agency, I was only asked to provide a written sheet of assets and debts. They wanted to make sure I could take care of myself.

 

QueenJane - Two weeks, sweet! Is six too old for you? I know you had expressed some ambivalence about adopting another older child.

 

AFM - I saw a child online and asked my social worker if she thought we'd be a good matched. She said yes and the child's social worker said yes to my homestudy is currently being reviewed. I'm trying not to get attached but I am super excited.

deborahbgkelly likes this.

afro.jpg TTA #1 through the Foster Care system

10/12 - Orientation

10/12 - Accepted into Foster Family Agency

02/13 - Finished the paperchase
03/13 - Homestudy completed
03/13 - Matching phase

Newbian Mama is offline  
#183 of 335 Old 04-30-2013, 09:23 AM
 
queenjane's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,368
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
QueenJane - Two weeks, sweet! Is six too old for you? I know you had expressed some ambivalence about adopting another older child.

 

AFM - I saw a child online and asked my social worker if she thought we'd be a good matched. She said yes and the child's social worker said yes to my homestudy is currently being reviewed. I'm trying not to get attached but I am super excited.

 

It would depend on the situation. 7-9 would be better than 6 and only a girl in that age range. Only because my two boys are 5 and i really dont want to mess up that dynamic by introducing a child to close to their age (esp a boy.) If there's an older child i prefer there also be a younger sibling (under 5, preferably under 3)...the boys REALLY want "a baby brother" and ask about him all the time (whenever i say the worker is coming they say "is she bringing our baby???" ) i've tried to explain that the "baby" might be 2, or 3...but i am really hoping for a little one (to me 2 is still "a baby" LOL) I think my daughter (who is 11) would not do very well living with a child too close to her age (i've set my age range 0-10 but i think a 10 yr old might be too close)...she does pretty well with kids a few years younger. 

 

 

Congrats on getting your homestudy reviewed! that is exciting! 


Katherine, single homeschooling mom to Boy Genius (17) geek.gif  Thing One (6) and Thing Two (6) fencing.gif and one outgoing Girl (12) bikenew.gif and hoping for more through foster care and adoption homebirth.jpgadoptionheart-1.gif 
queenjane is offline  
#184 of 335 Old 04-30-2013, 11:47 AM
 
Newbian Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Stilll lurking around Dharmaville
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

That sounds very well thought out. So far I have seen 3 kids under 3 in our "adoptable kids" books so know that they are out there. How is your daughter progressing so far? Is she ready for another sib (possibly a sister)?
 

I am very excited but trying to keep my cool. I let myself become overly invested in a sibling set I saw online and cried when I discovered they'd been matched. I don't want that to happen again.The boy that my homestudy is in review for is 10, which is a year higher than my age range but I can be flexible for the right match. We'll see what his social worker has to say about that.


afro.jpg TTA #1 through the Foster Care system

10/12 - Orientation

10/12 - Accepted into Foster Family Agency

02/13 - Finished the paperchase
03/13 - Homestudy completed
03/13 - Matching phase

Newbian Mama is offline  
#185 of 335 Old 04-30-2013, 12:52 PM
 
deborahbgkelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Longmont, CO
Posts: 2,959
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Sounds like there are many good things going on in this thread! Exciting! AFM- I am now adding another concert to all the things I'm doing and I am auditioning for Jekyll and Hyde the Musical (rehearsals for that don't start until July though). SO, I have SRO and our first performance for that is June 22 and we are getting our music for Christmas already! Mozart Requiem is May 17 and 19. Now I'll also be singing Haydn's Creation and that concert is June 1st and June 2nd.Peaches is definitely a lucky, spoiled pup. She's so much easier to handle though when she gets massages and walks. She slept most of the afternoon and some of the evening after her massage yesterday. Walks only tire her out for a couple of hours. I got my own little massage at Physical Therapy today, so lucky me!


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
deborahbgkelly is offline  
#186 of 335 Old 04-30-2013, 12:52 PM
 
deborahbgkelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Longmont, CO
Posts: 2,959
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Sounds like there are many good things going on in this thread! Exciting! AFM- I am now adding another concert to all the things I'm doing and I am auditioning for Jekyll and Hyde the Musical (rehearsals for that don't start until July though). SO, I have SRO and our first performance for that is June 22 and we are getting our music for Christmas already! Mozart Requiem is May 17 and 19. Now I'll also be singing Haydn's Creation and that concert is June 1st and June 2nd.Peaches is definitely a lucky, spoiled pup. She's so much easier to handle though when she gets massages and walks. She slept most of the afternoon and some of the evening after her massage yesterday. Walks only tire her out for a couple of hours. I got my own little massage at Physical Therapy today, so lucky me!


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
deborahbgkelly is offline  
#187 of 335 Old 05-01-2013, 12:10 PM
 
PoorUglyHappy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: LA, CA
Posts: 194
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Sorry I've been MIA! I've been busy being mama to my new placement.  FS is 9 days old today! 

Smithie and deborahbgkelly like this.

Trying to adopt from foster care in Los Angeles.buddamomimg1.png

PoorUglyHappy is offline  
#188 of 335 Old 05-01-2013, 10:13 PM
 
deborahbgkelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Longmont, CO
Posts: 2,959
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

How exciting PUH!


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
deborahbgkelly is offline  
#189 of 335 Old 05-01-2013, 10:13 PM
 
deborahbgkelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Longmont, CO
Posts: 2,959
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

How exciting PUH!


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
deborahbgkelly is offline  
#190 of 335 Old 05-02-2013, 08:37 AM
 
queenjane's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,368
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoorUglyHappy View Post

Sorry I've been MIA! I've been busy being mama to my new placement.  FS is 9 days old today! 

 

Wow! You must be busy. Thats awesome. Congrats!!!!


Katherine, single homeschooling mom to Boy Genius (17) geek.gif  Thing One (6) and Thing Two (6) fencing.gif and one outgoing Girl (12) bikenew.gif and hoping for more through foster care and adoption homebirth.jpgadoptionheart-1.gif 
queenjane is offline  
#191 of 335 Old 05-02-2013, 09:14 AM
 
Newbian Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Stilll lurking around Dharmaville
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

OH MY GOSH PUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

How absolutely exciting. I can't wait to hear all the details. I'm so very happy for you and of course for you FS being placed in such a loving home.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PoorUglyHappy View Post

Sorry I've been MIA! I've been busy being mama to my new placement.  FS is 9 days old today! 


afro.jpg TTA #1 through the Foster Care system

10/12 - Orientation

10/12 - Accepted into Foster Family Agency

02/13 - Finished the paperchase
03/13 - Homestudy completed
03/13 - Matching phase

Newbian Mama is offline  
#192 of 335 Old 05-02-2013, 11:10 AM
 
queenjane's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,368
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Newbian Mama View Post

That sounds very well thought out. So far I have seen 3 kids under 3 in our "adoptable kids" books so know that they are out there. How is your daughter progressing so far? Is she ready for another sib (possibly a sister)?
 

I am very excited but trying to keep my cool. I let myself become overly invested in a sibling set I saw online and cried when I discovered they'd been matched. I don't want that to happen again.The boy that my homestudy is in review for is 10, which is a year higher than my age range but I can be flexible for the right match. We'll see what his social worker has to say about that.

 

My daughter is doing ok. Her behavior is much improved from when she first moved in. The problem now is me. Its not easy parenting "therapeutically" all the time. Sometimes you just want to say "put your clean clothes away" without trying to do so in a way that wont reinforce a "trauma response"...im not very good at it. I think that first horrible year impacted my ability to bond with her now. Its much harder to parent a child you dont have a great bond with because little things that would be no big deal can be super annoying.  She's find with more sibs coming. She wavers on whether she actually wants to share her room with a sister or not but i think she'd be find with it. We'll see i guess! She's excellent with babies and toddlers though and can be very helpful in a mother's helper sort of way. 

 

I remember being so invested in the kids i'd see online....heck i'd put the kids first name with our last name to see if it would flow, i'd look at clothes in that child's presumed size in the store, i'd induldge in fantasies about that child being part of our family. I had a tendancy to downplay any red flags in the profile if i was super invested in the child. It was hard when they'd get matched. And i'd feel guilty if i would get more info and discover it wasnt the right placement at all. There was a little boy on NWAE once that looked JUST like my oldest son. Red wavy hair, freckles...they could totally have been bio brothers. But i spoke in depth with his worker and is was clear he had significant behavior issues (was living in an RTC at that time, at 8 yrs old) and probably struggled with fetal alcohol issues as his mother was a lifelong severe alcoholic. I had to choose not to pursue him but in many ways it felt like abandoning MY child. Now, when i see a potential kid online i try not to think so much about it. Though i must admit i really wanted that sib group of 3 yr old boy and his twin 2 yr old brothers i saw on my state photolisting (ultimately they were matched with their foster parent which meant they probably werent TRULY available at all.)


Katherine, single homeschooling mom to Boy Genius (17) geek.gif  Thing One (6) and Thing Two (6) fencing.gif and one outgoing Girl (12) bikenew.gif and hoping for more through foster care and adoption homebirth.jpgadoptionheart-1.gif 
queenjane is offline  
#193 of 335 Old 05-02-2013, 01:23 PM
 
Newbian Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Stilll lurking around Dharmaville
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm so glad to hear your daughter is doing better! I remember some of your posts last year and I know you've had a long road to hoe. I can't even imagine all you've gon through to get to the place you all are at now. I know you have a ways to go but for right this very moment Congratulations, Mama!

 

Wow, I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one! With the sibling set, I had planned the school they'd attend, where to buy uniforms, how we'd decorate their room, how we were going to spend the 4th of July, etc, etc, etc, I'm not doing that with this boy but it's very hard! Some of it is practical, I'm single and work full time so daycare and school are the top things on my list and then some of it is wondering if I should research sports activites, or musical instruments, or... you get the picture. I know it's amazing that his social worker contacted mine in less than 24 hours so I don't want to think this is taking too long but I sort of feel like that. What the heck am I going to do if this process continues for months?! Maybe I should've done high-risk fost/adopt then I wouldn't have all this stress. It'd be a different type of stress. Lol.


afro.jpg TTA #1 through the Foster Care system

10/12 - Orientation

10/12 - Accepted into Foster Family Agency

02/13 - Finished the paperchase
03/13 - Homestudy completed
03/13 - Matching phase

Newbian Mama is offline  
#194 of 335 Old 05-04-2013, 03:43 PM
 
Newbian Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Stilll lurking around Dharmaville
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I had to turn down my first child yesterday. The kid's social worker thought I might be a good match for them so I received the kid's profile (not the complete file). The kid has a host of challenges that I feel inadequately unprepared to handle. I know I said "no" for all the right reasons but it was still so so so difficult. 


afro.jpg TTA #1 through the Foster Care system

10/12 - Orientation

10/12 - Accepted into Foster Family Agency

02/13 - Finished the paperchase
03/13 - Homestudy completed
03/13 - Matching phase

Newbian Mama is offline  
#195 of 335 Old 05-04-2013, 08:41 PM
 
queenjane's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,368
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Newbian Mama View Post

I had to turn down my first child yesterday. The kid's social worker thought I might be a good match for them so I received the kid's profile (not the complete file). The kid has a host of challenges that I feel inadequately unprepared to handle. I know I said "no" for all the right reasons but it was still so so so difficult. 

 

I'm sorry. :(


Katherine, single homeschooling mom to Boy Genius (17) geek.gif  Thing One (6) and Thing Two (6) fencing.gif and one outgoing Girl (12) bikenew.gif and hoping for more through foster care and adoption homebirth.jpgadoptionheart-1.gif 
queenjane is offline  
#196 of 335 Old 05-05-2013, 10:35 AM
 
Newbian Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Stilll lurking around Dharmaville
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thank you very much. I imagined a social worker saying I wasn't the right match for a child but I never pictured myself in this situation.


afro.jpg TTA #1 through the Foster Care system

10/12 - Orientation

10/12 - Accepted into Foster Family Agency

02/13 - Finished the paperchase
03/13 - Homestudy completed
03/13 - Matching phase

Newbian Mama is offline  
#197 of 335 Old 05-05-2013, 11:24 AM
 
deborahbgkelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Longmont, CO
Posts: 2,959
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

That's got to be so hard. I think DH and I are going to fill out the application for Adoption Options today.  In other news, my final class for my grad certificate in Business Administration started today! Also, I got 2 solos in my musical theater group! I will be a soloist in Just Arrived from Copacabana and I Want It All from Baby. I am currently waiting to find out if I got into the ensemble for Jekyll and Hyde the Musical. I've got the theater bug again. Poor DH. LOL.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
deborahbgkelly is offline  
#198 of 335 Old 05-05-2013, 01:25 PM
 
PoorUglyHappy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: LA, CA
Posts: 194
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

NewbianMama- That is hard.  I can hardly believe how great the need is for foster and fost-adopt families.  I think you will probably get a few more calls before a match on both sides is made.  I think you did the right thing. If you didn't feel it was right, it is best that you said it wasn't right for you.

 

Deborah - I think it is great that you are keeping busy.  The waiting of adoption can get hard.

 

Queenjane - did you get your certification yet? 

 

AFM - doing great, super happy.  We still haven't gotten any details about the situation of the baby's separation from his bio mom.   For now, I am enjoying being his mama and hope that he gets to stay forever.  It'll probably be a month before we hear any updates.  That is his next court hearing.


Trying to adopt from foster care in Los Angeles.buddamomimg1.png

PoorUglyHappy is offline  
#199 of 335 Old 05-05-2013, 03:28 PM
 
deborahbgkelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Longmont, CO
Posts: 2,959
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

So, DH wants to go to the info session for Adoption Options before we fill out an application. As much as I hate waiting another week and a half, I'm glad he is really wanting to be a part of the process.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
deborahbgkelly is offline  
#200 of 335 Old 05-05-2013, 03:28 PM
 
deborahbgkelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Longmont, CO
Posts: 2,959
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

So, DH wants to go to the info session for Adoption Options before we fill out an application. As much as I hate waiting another week and a half, I'm glad he is really wanting to be a part of the process.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
deborahbgkelly is offline  
#201 of 335 Old 05-05-2013, 07:13 PM
 
queenjane's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,368
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

This next week will be one of waiting on pins and needles waiting to hear when/if i got licensed yet. I have some stuff to do around the house (rearranging bedrooms, organizing toys etc) so plenty to do to keep me busy and i wont mind if its the following week instead. Then after the obsessive wait to get licensed will come the obsessive wait to get some kids! :P


Katherine, single homeschooling mom to Boy Genius (17) geek.gif  Thing One (6) and Thing Two (6) fencing.gif and one outgoing Girl (12) bikenew.gif and hoping for more through foster care and adoption homebirth.jpgadoptionheart-1.gif 
queenjane is offline  
#202 of 335 Old 05-05-2013, 10:47 PM
 
mamarhu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: dining at the restaurant at the end of the universe
Posts: 3,033
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

Hello, all.

 

I am tentatively joining in here because I have almost decided I am ready to get back into the wild world of fostering. Some folks here know me, but a brief intro:  (Feel free to look at my old posts for the long version of the story)

 

For about 4 years, until 2 years ago, I was a therapeutic foster parent. Most of that time, I had a sibling set of 2 high needs kids. A couple other placements that were shorter term. But I was set to adopt the 2, chosen by the committee, had been to mediation with the bio-mom, all systems were go, when at the last minute, they were removed from my home, in a truly rotten style. My heart was well and truly broken, and it has taken me 2 years to feel ready to start this all again. Although I am confident about the certification process in general, I do not know what is in my file from the last few weeks I had the kids - it got really ugly. I hope I will get a chance to tell my side of the story.

 

Lately, I have been lurking around here and other foster/adoption related forums, and I am planning to attend a local agency orientation meeting later this month. I know full well what the system requirements are, heck, I could probably teach the classes(!), but I still have to start at the beginning. I work as a Family Advocate for kids in the mental health system, and many of the kids we serve are in foster care, so I am immersed in this system every day. I really do teach specialized parenting classes, and lead support groups for high needs kids' families. Although I work full-time, my hours are flexible (I make my own schedule) and the agency I work for is very understanding.
 

I think I would be best suited to be mom to an older girl - 12-15? My last 2 bios are still at home - YoungSon is 17; BigGirl is 18. I am not actively looking to adopt, but not against the idea either. Does any one have experience with the issues of having a teen boy in the home with a female foster child? YoungSon would absolutely NOT cause any problem, but I am a bit concerned about possible allegations.

 

Although I am scared, I am also excited to be beginning this journey. Again. I hope I will find support here again, and that I will be able to offer support/advice/virtual hugs in return.


Rhu - mother,grandmother,daughter,sister,friend-foster,adoptive,and biological;not necessarily in that order. Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way (Jimmy Buffet)

mamarhu is online now  
#203 of 335 Old 05-06-2013, 07:04 AM
 
Newbian Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Stilll lurking around Dharmaville
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Deborah - Congrats to you on being in your final class AND on getting two solos. That's awesome! I love to sing but I try not to torture anyone so I only sing when I'm alone :) Your DH is probably just being cautious, dip your toe in the pool before plunging full body. The 10 or so days will go by quickly especially with you having so very much to keep you occupied.

 

PUH - Are you the first home FS has been in? Weird that you haven't gotten any additional info. Is the social worker going to visit you during the month before the court hearing? You must be in baby heaven! I know we're charged with honoring the kids in care privacy but can you please post some of that new baby smell? :) How's your husband handling it all?

 

Queen Jane - Please hurry up so you can join me in the obsessive wait for kids!

 

Mamrhu - Welcome (back). Sorry I don't have any helpful words for your situation but I wanted to say thank you for jumping back in. Kids really need someone like you who puts their whole heart into caring for them. It sounds like your previous situation was extremely rough and I think it takes a tough woman to roll up her sleeves and jump back in.

 

AFM - Thank you everyone for your support. I thoguht I would be wallowing in guilt all weekend but I didn't. I know I did the right thing so it's nice to know my soul is at rest with the decision. As PUH said, I thnk it may be a few more calls before there is a match on my side and the kid's side. My homestudy has been approved for a week and I'm already getting emails form my social worker about kids so the need is great. Did I mention another soical worker said she has a child who is 8 and another who is 12 that she thinks I may be a match for. I'm waiting for my social worker to get the profiles and we'll take it from there.


afro.jpg TTA #1 through the Foster Care system

10/12 - Orientation

10/12 - Accepted into Foster Family Agency

02/13 - Finished the paperchase
03/13 - Homestudy completed
03/13 - Matching phase

Newbian Mama is offline  
#204 of 335 Old 05-07-2013, 02:07 PM
 
queenjane's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,368
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

My worker called today. Apparently she sent off all my paperwork to the state on May 1st. And.....

 

 

I'm officially LICENSED! jumpers.gif

 

 

Thats pretty good motivation to finish organizing the bedrooms and moving stuff around like i planned to. I thought i'd have all week before even a chance of getting a call! 

 

Of course it could be awhile before i get a placement. Or not! Who knows! I'm just glad this part is DONE! 

deborahbgkelly likes this.

Katherine, single homeschooling mom to Boy Genius (17) geek.gif  Thing One (6) and Thing Two (6) fencing.gif and one outgoing Girl (12) bikenew.gif and hoping for more through foster care and adoption homebirth.jpgadoptionheart-1.gif 
queenjane is offline  
#205 of 335 Old 05-07-2013, 08:07 PM
 
Newbian Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Stilll lurking around Dharmaville
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Whoohoo!!!
Get those rooms organized because you never know when that call may come... smile.gif

afro.jpg TTA #1 through the Foster Care system

10/12 - Orientation

10/12 - Accepted into Foster Family Agency

02/13 - Finished the paperchase
03/13 - Homestudy completed
03/13 - Matching phase

Newbian Mama is offline  
#206 of 335 Old 05-08-2013, 08:00 AM
 
deborahbgkelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Longmont, CO
Posts: 2,959
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Congrats QueenJane!


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
deborahbgkelly is offline  
#207 of 335 Old 05-09-2013, 11:53 AM
 
Ma Cactus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hi All

I am Rivka, biomom to 3yo DS.  We are certified for children 3 and under and pregnant/parenting teens.  We had our first placement in the latter category last week and it unfortunately did not work out -she was terrified by our two large dogs (who behaved very well with her, but whose size and big toothsome mouths are off-putting to non-dog people). 

We are now on the paper plan for a 3yo girl and her 7 month old brother.  I am filled with excitement (and terror) at the possibility of finally moving on to this stage of our family life.  DS was very excited at first, but quickly moved on to anxiety for his toys.  Any advice on smoothing the way for him if this comes to fruition woudl be heartily appreciated!  He has a tendency to be very standoffish with new people at first, and is fairly terretorial with me (does not like it when I carry my neices around for instance) so I am going to be treading on very thin ice in multiple aspects of these relationships. 

Ma Cactus is offline  
#208 of 335 Old 05-09-2013, 08:40 PM
 
Dornmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Smithville, OH
Posts: 23
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

So much excitement on here lately!!! Congrats PUH and QueenJane!

Welcome back Mamarhu and Welcome Ma Cactus!

AFM: We are waiting for out home study to be approved. All the paperwork is in but we were told it could take up to 6 weeks for approval. In the mean time we need to work on our "Dear Birth mom" letter and our photo book. Do any of you seasoned ladies have any advice for us?? I am not a creative person at all so the book really scares me.

Dornmama is offline  
#209 of 335 Old 05-13-2013, 09:55 AM
 
Newbian Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Stilll lurking around Dharmaville
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Welcome Ma Cactus. Sorry I don't have an advice on helping your DS transition to being a brother but I'll bet there's tons of advice on the Parenting board. About how long will it take before the kids can come home? How many visits will you have before then.

 

Dornmama - My homestudy took about 5 weeks to complete so you're right on target. That Dear Birthmother letter would scare me for the same reasons it scares you! I'm adopting from the foster care system and my agency creates a family profile with pictures and a narrative for us. I didn't have to do anything, thank goodnes. There are more reseources than you can shake a stick at if you search online. My advice, not that you asked, would be to do it yourself and not pay someone to do it. Congratulations and best of luck!


afro.jpg TTA #1 through the Foster Care system

10/12 - Orientation

10/12 - Accepted into Foster Family Agency

02/13 - Finished the paperchase
03/13 - Homestudy completed
03/13 - Matching phase

Newbian Mama is offline  
#210 of 335 Old 05-13-2013, 11:49 AM
 
PoorUglyHappy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: LA, CA
Posts: 194
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Welcome Ma Cactus! I think that learning to share his toys and mama are going to be a good learning experience for your 3yo.  :)   I don't have any bio kids but I imagine it is similar to when a new baby comes home.  Everyone adjusts - there are some kinks - but in the end, you settle into the new routine.   

 

Newbian Mama  - any new calls?

 

Dornmama- Like NewbianMama, I didn't have to do a dear birthparents letter.   Since we are fost-adopt and taking emergency placements, there isn't a lot of choosing that happens.  :) 


Trying to adopt from foster care in Los Angeles.buddamomimg1.png

PoorUglyHappy is offline  
Reply

Tags
Adopted They Come With Love , Come Rain Or Come Shine A White Parents Guide To Adopting And Parenting Black Children , Coming Home To Self The Adopted Child Grows Up , Adoption Update , Adoption

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off