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14K views 334 replies 34 participants last post by  Smithie 
#1 ·
A new year, a new thread.

Lets all introduce ourselves, and give a little update. Grads are welcome too.

I am L, mama to Lilly who is my biological daughter. She will be 5 in a couple months. My husband and I wanted to have more children but my health issues made that difficult. I am healthy, but I just cant carry a pregnancy. We decided to persue adoption instead of going the medical route, as I deal with enough medical stuff for my crohns. We were approved in November and are on the waiting list for an infant. Our agency averages a 6-36 month wait. So we are just waiting, but we plan on having fun with our little family along the way. I also love that my Lilly will be old enough to be aware of what is going on.
 
#2 ·
I'm Katherine, single mom in MI.

I have four kids. The oldest, 16, bio, currently out of state attending college. The youngest three (4,4,10) were adopted from the foster care system. Placed at 3 wks, 16.5 months, 8 years. Only the last one was placed with the purpose of adoption (the other two were regular foster placements that went rather quickly to adoption) but i still fostered her for a year while the agency did the paperwork.

Now i'm back in the process again, getting a new homestudy with a different agecy. I plan on adopting only this time instead of regular fostering (but who knows what they might end up talking me into!
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) i just need to turn in my paperwork and get them out here for the home visit. I've been sick for a couple of weeks though and that delayed me working on stuff. I think im going to ask for 1-3 kids ages 0-10. I've started looking at the photolistings again (well...i never stopped but this time i'm looking for actual placements instead of fantasy looking) and there's a little girl that looks promising. We'll see what happens!
 
#3 ·
Hi! I am Jen and in a committed lesbian partnership. We have been a licensed foster home since 2008. We got into fostering to build a family (no bio kids). We have just gone through a rather challenging foster2adopt placement with a 16 y/o that regretfully didnt work out. We now have, from a foster home who kept them 2.5 yrs until TPR, 2 siblings (7 and 2.5) and we will finalize adoption late summer! We would be open to another child if their biomom had trouble again, but want to get our 2 kiddos settled and us bonded together before adding more. Our state (Indiana) only allows 5 total kids in the foster home, including bio/adopt so we would be limited as we are licensed at this time for 4.
 
#4 ·
Hi, I'm a single potential-adoptive-parent-to-be. I am about 85% done with the paperchase and I can't do anything else with that until I move. I have the foster/adopt class this weekend and I'm very very excited for that. I feel like I'm actually doing something now instead of spinning my wheels with copies of my birth certificate, references, and the like. I do love my agency more and more and I am anxious to soak up what they'll teach us. Also some of the speakers will be kids who were adopted so that's very exciting.

It's only Monday though, I don't know how I'm going to make it until Saturday :)
 
#6 ·
I am Aimee

We have two biological boys and in March we will be applying foster2adopt. we started the cerfication process in IA. but had to stop when this move came up -- in March we reach our "new post" (we are on temp right now) and will start the process in MO.

I am not sure what road we will end up taking. this has been a long road. we apply to adopt IA from India in 2004 then got preggo AMA. we applied to be forster parents in IA in 2008 and then this move came up, and yes we are just in March of 13 getting it done. so things tend to change for us. LOL

We are weighing looking for a legal risk placement only vs "straight" foster care.

we do hope to add a girl to our family; since we have only boys
 
#7 ·
I am Smithie, my husband and I finalized our adoption of our foster son on 12/31/12. He is our oldest (almost 9), we have biokids ages 8, 6 and 3.

Why am I still hanging around, you ask? Because some good friends of ours have decided to pursue foster/adoption of our son's much younger biological half-siblings. They have an existing adoptive homestudy that needs to be updated, but they are going full steam ahead and I think it may well happen.

My cup runneth over. I do not think in terms of "God had a plan," but it certainly is cosmically convenient that my son may end up with a family that meets his needs AND a cousinlike relationship with his half-siblings. His mother (the bio one) is over the moon about all of this, and eager to cooperate with the legal process.

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#12 ·
I like the new thread!

I am PUH, trying to foster to adopt in Los Angeles. We began the process January 2012 and thanks to budget cuts and a string of bad luck for our caseworker, we are still waiting on our homestudy to be complete. Right now our big decision is whether or not to change to a private agency as we are currently working with the state. I think we will give it another 2 months and without any forward momentum, we will move on. DH and I don't have any bio children due to infertility. We are looking for younger children, hoping for a sibling set, and getting impatient!
 
#13 ·
I like the new thread!

I am PUH, trying to foster to adopt in Los Angeles. We began the process January 2012 and thanks to budget cuts and a string of bad luck for our caseworker, we are still waiting on our homestudy to be complete. Right now our big decision is whether or not to change to a private agency as we are currently working with the state. I think we will give it another 2 months and without any forward momentum, we will move on. DH and I don't have any bio children due to infertility. We are looking for younger children, hoping for a sibling set, and getting impatient!
 
#14 ·
How's everyone?

I attended the big training this past weekend. For some people it's MAPP or PRIDE but I think it's a bit of this and a bit of that. It was an informative and emotionally exhausting two days but I do feel better equipped to parent a child in care. One of the highlights was hearing the parent panel speak about their experience. No matter what the social workers say there's nothing like hearing a first-person experience.

I was going to write something about timeframes but I'm patient. This is going to happen and I'm at peace with that. At least for today!

ETA: PUH I hope it works out with the county and if not foster family agencies are a good place to go. The county workers know about the kids first of course but if the agency has developed a good rapport with the county worker, you can **** get a kid fairly quickly. At least that's what was said in my training.
 
#15 ·
Hello all! My name is Terra. I have two bio kids ages 6 and 3. I have always wanted a large family but after a ful term stillbirth and multiple miscarriages our journey has led us to adoption. I am realky hoping for an infant placement but we will be persuing our foster lisence so as to be open to a legal foster situation of a possible sibling pair. We have just started our process and will be sending in our application to the agency we have decided to use hopefully by the end of the week. I am anxious and a bit teffifed to get the homestudy going. We will be doing our classes in March.
 
#16 ·
Hello :)

We are just starting our process. We have a worker coming out next week to get to know us. I really wish we could adopt now but we have a smaller house with 6 children so we are waiting to sell our house to move into the new one. I think we will be doing the classes in the spring. All my life I have wanted to adopt. My husband is looking forward to it as well. I can't wait to add to our family and give a child a fun life. I am an impatient person so I hope I am calm with the wait.
 
#17 ·
Terra - I am very sorry for your losses. I think there are people here who can relate to you. Welcome to the group! There's lots of support and experience here. From what I've heard, teh homestudy varies by agency and by social worker. I'll probably go through it before you so I'll let you know. But really, I don't think there's anything to worry about. What are some of your concerns?

Homeschoolingmama - Welcome! Wow, six kids already and you want more. Good on you! How old are your kids and what age are you looking to adopt?
 
#19 ·
Our children are 10, 8, 7, 5, 4 and 1. We would like to adopt a baby/child 6 and under. We are open to adopting a child with a disability so that is a definite possibility. We will adopting locally. I look at my children and how happy they are and I would love to give that to another child that may not have that. Thank you for asking.
 
#21 ·
Most days I can handle all the pregnancy and new baby announcements, but lately it makes my heart hurt a little. Lately I have been wondering if we wont get picked because I have crohns. I am healthy, but maybe it will scare birth moms away regardless. *sigh*
 
#24 ·
I'm one step closer. The foster licensing worker came out to day for her initial visit, which i think is supposed to be her asking a few questions and mostly measuring, checking smoke detectors and that sort of thing. She stayed for more than four hours! we were chatting on and on. Hopefully i made a good impression. At least i got the house (mostly) cleaned and organized. There is a bit more paperwork i need to chase down. Can you believe my previous (crappy) agency ignored the new agency's request for my file? they even followed up with a phone call, which was ignored, then the supervisor called, also ignored. How unprofessional.

I also scored an ikea crib (the 69.99 one..sniglar?) that looks new, with the box AND an ikea mattress (which is sorta thing and cheapy but whatever) and mattress pad (and bumper but we cant use it) for forty bucks, woohoo. Now i just need to get bunkbeds to put in that room although i was trying to hold off buying beds til i was matched. She said i will need some baby proofing stuff to be considered for kids under two but that i wouldnt have to use it until one was placed (baby gate, cabinet locks, baby moniter etc)

progress is nice!!!
 
#25 ·
The visit today make me feel more insecure. I told her that I have spanked in the past (over a yr ago) and that I had apologized if it happened and I knew I was wrong. She said that that is very black and white and if we believe in spanking than we can't adopt through them. We don't believe in it but it sure made me feel like a horrible parent. I know that we are good parents and our children are very happy, well rounded kids but it is still hard. So now we fill out a lot of paperwork and then wait to sell our house. She will then set up a home study and we will then do our classes. A lot of digging into my past but I am fine with that.
 
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