Need advice. Moving to another state with foster kids. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 4 Old 10-05-2013, 03:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have gotten advice from a few sources but just gathering more information on what can be done in our situation. The basic story is that we have had two children for the last two years. We got them as a pre-adoptive placement. Tpr was done over a year and a half ago. It's currently in appeals due to a technical error, and will be upheld, from what we have been told.  Bio mom has had no contact with the children for almost 4 years. My husband is retired from the military and due to work and other reasons we are moving one state away,  about 4 hours away from where we are now. We purchased a house there and are closing this month. Told social worker months ago, she told us it would be no problem for them to move with us, that we would request permission from the judge and possibly do an ICPC. Long story short no one advocated for us in court. I was told I couldn't go in before the judge because bio mom was there and they didn't want her to know who I was. Judge looked at case; foster parent wants to move, tpr is in appeals, so he said they could not leave our current state.  No one explained the details to him, or that the children had been with us for two years and had not seen bio mom in four years and tpr is only in appeals due to a mistake in wording. It was over and done in less than five minutes. We were given the choice to have the children move to another home which we would NEVER do, or have my husband go to new house and the children and I stay here until the tpr is upheld. We have no idea how long that will take.  Neither one of these options is in the best interest of the children. It would be expensive for us to keep two residences, if not impossible.  The whole situation just makes me upset. I feel if someone had spoke up for us in court, or allowed me in court, that the outcome would have been different. I am now trying to decide if I should hire my own attorney and petition for another trial and present our case in detail to the judge.  But I do not want to anger DSS as they are they ones who will do the adoption.  We already sold our house here and are in a rental until the end of the month.  when we close on new house.  I am at a loss about what to do. Any insight or advice is appreciated. 
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#2 of 4 Old 10-05-2013, 06:07 PM
 
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Oh my that just sounds like such a painful set of circumstances. 

 

So I am wondering if there are two possible angles---the social worker told you to move forward? Have you spoken with him/her again, as well as the district director? Perhaps they could figure out a way to get the matter before a judge again --without pissing them off, just factually how to get this considered again, and/or expedited back into resolution?

 

Did the children ever have a guardian ad litem and/or attorney of their own. Since as you say, this scenario isn't in their best interest, their attorney could get it back before the judge? 

 

i'll keep thinking and hopefully others with experience like this will be here soon.


 
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#3 of 4 Old 10-05-2013, 06:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Their social worker said she just had to request the move. She was at court as was her director. They requested it but didn't advocate for us at all. She says their is nothing we can do except wait for the tpr to come back from appeals. We have a GAL but she says she can't do anything, and has really only seen us a few times in four years. greensad.gif
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#4 of 4 Old 10-05-2013, 06:51 PM
 
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What about speaking with your congressperson to see if s/he is interested in helping you?. This might be the type of thing that s/he could help expedite.

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