adopted a Special Needs boy age 15 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 10-12-2013, 03:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hes called Paul Blind in one eye. Has Dyslexia. And a bit of learning difficulties Noticed something worrying. Me and my doughtier Kerry and her 2 girls aged 3 and 6 Was in the car. With Paul after picking him up. We noticed a smell. Me and Kerry thought it was one of the girls. But it was Paul. He made a mess in his pants. He didn't say or asked. If he needed the bathroom - 

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#2 of 18 Old 10-12-2013, 11:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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should i worry what happened in the car any advice on why he did it thanks 

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#3 of 18 Old 10-13-2013, 04:55 AM
 
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Welcome to Mothering and to the Adoptive/Foster Parenting forum!

 

That is a pretty concerning behavior for a 15 year old. Things I would be curious about, for you to ask his worker at DCF......does he have an abuse history? sexual abuse history? did he ever achieve toileting independence? how significant are his learning impairments? That behavior for a child with a learning impairment may have different significance than for a teen with more typical learning. 

 

I am curious how you handled it, and how he did with your intervention. 

 

A caution to you--- on online forums be careful about giving out real names and/or details that would identify your foster child. Some people have had negative experiences after revealing too much identifying information.

 

I hope this can get sorted out for you!


 
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#4 of 18 Old 10-13-2013, 05:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks

Well he was very quite. Got him home. Took him to the bathroom and cleaned him up. I was thinking Should I get some diapers.

UnlessHe was doing it for attention. Not to sure. When he talks. He seems understanding.

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#5 of 18 Old 10-13-2013, 07:40 AM
 
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I guess I wouldn't move to diapers or any other strategy until having a better understanding of his needs. Can you arrange for a meeting with his worker to get some history on his life? I also always advocate checking in with a medical professional before ever assuming something is behavioral.


 
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#6 of 18 Old 10-13-2013, 07:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just phoned them up now. They say he might have been abused when he was younger. He used to wet the bed alot. He had soiled himself before. They say. But was a couple of years ago.

Mabye he was nervous or scared of something 

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#7 of 18 Old 10-13-2013, 03:30 PM
 
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Take him to the doctor. It could be psychological, but it could also be encopresis. Encopresis affects about 1% of children, mostly boys, and if left untreated can last well into teens. Kids with encropresis cant even tell when they have to go, because they have lost that sensation. The colon gets impacted and stretched out, and softer stool will leak around the compacted stool, causing the child to mess themselves, without even knowing it. 


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#8 of 18 Old 10-13-2013, 03:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the info about the encopresis ill look into it 

Reading it it might be more psychological Really am thinking about the diapers.

​His dad used to drink alot his mom couldn't cope 

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#9 of 18 Old 10-14-2013, 11:06 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sjacksun View Post
 

Thanks for the info about the encopresis ill look into it 

Reading it it might be more psychological Really am thinking about the diapers.

​His dad used to drink alot his mom couldn't cope 

 

There can be a psycological aspect to encorpresis as well. Children will with hold their stool as a form of control, just to feel like they have control over something. When they do it too much, thats when it can lead to leakage. 


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#10 of 18 Old 10-15-2013, 05:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your advise. Spoke to one of his special needs teachers At his school. They said he had a couple of accidents now and again. But not has bad as i was describing. Do you think its because. Hes in a home environment. And that he feels more safer in a school envirorment.

I put him in pull ups he seems ok about it. But for number 2s they are rubbish

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#11 of 18 Old 10-15-2013, 06:22 AM
 
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Thanks for your advise. Spoke to one of his special needs teachers At his school. They said he had a couple of accidents now and again. But not has bad as i was describing. Do you think its because. Hes in a home environment. And that he feels more safer in a school envirorment.

I put him in pull ups he seems ok about it. But for number 2s they are rubbish

I would encourage you to work with a therapist or post adoption counselor on these issues. This is a fairly significant symptom for a 15 year old and flying solo on the interventions may get you into a worse situation with him later. 

 

Start with a medical check up. There are physical things that can go wrong, as well as psychological. Sometimes it is both. You need a treatment team supporting you with this child. You may need to build it yourself if DCF has checked out since the adoption.

 

Let us know if you need suggestions about how to do this. 


 
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#12 of 18 Old 10-15-2013, 08:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks 

Got him booked in for a check up By the doctors gp 

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#13 of 18 Old 10-17-2013, 11:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Basically This is whats the doctor said Copied it off the internet 

Treatment is done in three phases:

  1. The first phase involves emptying the rectum and colon of hard, retained poop. Different doctors might have different ways of helping kids with encopresis. Depending on the child's age and other factors, the doctor may recommend medicines, including a stool softener (such as mineral oil), laxatives, and/or enemas. (Laxatives and enemas should be given onlyunder the supervision of a doctor; never give these treatments at home without first checking with your doctor.) As unpleasant as this first step sounds, it's necessary to clean out the bowels to successfully treat the constipation and end your child's soiling.
  2. After the large intestine has been emptied, the doctor will help the child begin having regular BMs with the aid of stool-softening agents, most of which aren't habit-forming. At this point, it's important to continue using the stool softener to give the bowels a chance to shrink back to normal size (the muscles of the intestines have been stretched out, so they need time to be toned without the poop piling up again). Parents will also be asked to schedule potty times twice daily after meals (when the bowels are naturally stimulated), in which the child sits on the toilet for about 5 to 10 minutes. This will help the child learn to pay attention to his or her own urges. It's especially helpful for parents to keep a record of their child's daily BMs.
  3. As regular BMs become established, your doctor will reduce the child's use of stool softeners.
  4. Keep in mind that relapses are normal, so don't get discouraged if your child occasionally becomes constipated again or soils his or her pants during treatment, especially when trying to wean the child off of the medications.

    A good way to keep track of your child's progress is by keeping a daily poop calendar. Make sure to note the frequency, consistency (i.e., hard, soft, dry), and size (i.e., large, small) of the BMs.

    Patience is the key to treating encopresis. It may take anywhere from several months to a year for the stretched-out colon to return to its normal size and for the nerves in the colon to become effective again.

Wonder how long it will take. So it looks like ill be potty training.him. The doctors did say there could be a bit of  psychological aspects as well to consider.

Just said change his diet drik plenty of water see how we go from there 

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/encopresis.html#

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#14 of 18 Old 10-20-2013, 12:09 AM
 
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So it was encopresis after all. His previous care givers probably thought he was doing it on purpose and never treated it. He probably has some shame over it. Let him know its not his fault, and that he can over come this if he works at it. A combination of good toilet habits, medication, diet, and encouragement helps. If you find it really hard to explain to him, the Ucanpooptoo program is great for explaining how the body works, and how to treat it, and how to empower the child and the parent. (my daughter has it, and she gets medication daily)

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#15 of 18 Old 10-20-2013, 06:40 AM
 
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Sounds great that you got a treatment plan!!  You'll want to confidentially get his school on board so they are aware. And perhaps next, engaging with a great post adoption therapist would help cover more bases,since I agree with Mountain Mama, whether there are emotional contributions to this problem, or just shame and embarrassment, he should have someone neutral to talk with, about this and many other things. 

 

Keep us posted!


 
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#16 of 18 Old 10-25-2013, 04:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Still having 1 or 2 problems in the day. Not as bad as before 

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#17 of 18 Old 02-12-2014, 01:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hi things have gottern a lot better. But still cant stop the bed wetting. And hes bit poorly now. He seem to have gone backwards a bit :(

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#18 of 18 Old 02-12-2014, 06:35 PM
 
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Have you ever tried one of the buzzer alarm systems for bedwetting? These can be quite successful. A little alarm goes off in the underwear if it detects moisture. It wakes the child so they can get to the bathroom. 


 
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