TN - Foster Care & No Vax - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 15 Old 01-14-2014, 09:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone have any experience with becoming a foster parent in TN and your bio kids not being "up to date" on their vaxes? I know the foster child will have to be, but just wondering if the fact that my kids aren't will cause us to be denied.

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#2 of 15 Old 01-15-2014, 06:58 PM
 
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I think I have seen this come up before and parents have said to  use a 'don't ask don't tell policy.' 


 
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#3 of 15 Old 01-21-2014, 07:45 AM
 
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I think I have seen this come up before and parents have said to  use a 'don't ask don't tell policy.' 


 



Uhh, maybe its just me, but this seems ethically wrong. Its lying, even if you let someone deceive themselves by not disclosing the full health status of your family. Wouldn't you want to know if the kid your fostering has HIV? Sexual acting-out behaviors? I mean, those both have the potential to affect your family just as the health status of your kids can affect someone else's child in your care.
I just forsee this becoming a huge legal snafu if you don't fess up, something happens, and they find out you lied/left out the truth.

But...maybe thats just me. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
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#4 of 15 Old 01-21-2014, 08:02 AM
 
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That's a risk you are taking on your kids, the foster kids will be 'protected'. So I'm not sure it should matter for the foster kids. Side note... to my knowledge pp, there is not vax for hiv/aids... so your example is invalid. I don't vax my kids. If I were to take in a foster kid i would be very cautious about what they would be bringing in. I would be pretty apprehensive to bring g in a child with a questionable history as far as exposure goes.
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#5 of 15 Old 01-21-2014, 08:44 AM
 
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Side note... to my knowledge pp, there is not vax for hiv/aids... so your example is invalid.

I know there isn't a vaccine for HIV/AIDS. That wasn't the point of the example. The point is that both parties should be giving complete disclosure. My example was that, if a kid had HIV and a CW didn't tell you because you didn't ask and you or your kids contracted the virus, I imagine you would be upset. Just because bio parents don't have many rights when being investigated doesn't mean they don't have the right to a safe home for their child. You may think your home is safe, but what if they don't (and in fact, the state if they require it as a safety measure)? If your state requires you to be vaccinated to foster, then I wouldn't bend those rules.
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#6 of 15 Old 01-21-2014, 10:04 PM
 
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I think I have seen this come up before and parents have said to  use a 'don't ask don't tell policy.' 

 



Uhh, maybe its just me, but this seems ethically wrong. Its lying, even if you let someone deceive themselves by not disclosing the full health status of your family. Wouldn't you want to know if the kid your fostering has HIV? Sexual acting-out behaviors? I mean, those both have the potential to affect your family just as the health status of your kids can affect someone else's child in your care.
I just forsee this becoming a huge legal snafu if you don't fess up, something happens, and they find out you lied/left out the truth.

But...maybe thats just me. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

 

Um no. 

 

You are not required (ethically or otherwise) to disclose facts to your licensing specialist *beyond what they require you tell them* for example....where i live the health form required for my bio/adopted children for me to be licensed has a spot for the doctor to list vaccinations. Therefore I had my children's pediatrician check the box that states we do not vax due to having a waiver (my state has very liberal vax requirements, we claim a philisophical exemption) and that has never been an issue other than i've been told on occasion that i do need to keep a fc UTD which is fine. HOWEVER i've spoken to other foster parents who live in other states and vax information is NOT on the health  form required by their agency. Why in the world would they say "oh by the way my children are not vaccinated" *if this information is not requested of them by the agency?? 

 

I took "dont ask dont tell" to mean if THEY dont ask YOU dont tell. Not 'lie to them." 

 

One example that makes way more sense than comparing it to a potential fc having HIV....whenever i've gone through a foster care or adoption homestudy i've had a child cosleeping. However that child also had their own bed/bedroom available to use if they chose (even if they never did.) I did NOT offer up "well my five yr old shares my bed" to the homestudy worker, they ask to see the child's room (talking about my child not a potential future foster chlid) i show the room. They need to know the child has a bed not where the child sleeps. Its not relevant. When i first went through the process my only child was homeschooled. I didnt tell the worker "oh we're radical unschoolers, my child is never punished, i dont require any schoolwork and he didnt read til he was 8! he stays up half the night on the computer and sleeps til noon but oh the learning that happens when he's awake!" um no that might make me look like a lunatic. So instead i said something like "we homeschool" and when she asked about curriculum i said "we dont do standard 'school at home' instead we take a more holistic view, and i encourage a wide range of interests using an interest driven child led approach! We love it! And oh the learning that happens!" ;) 

 

What i've learned over the years is that you dont need to volunteer more to the licensing worker than what is asked of you, and doing so might unnecessarily open up a can of worms. Dont ever lie, but you dont need to put it all out there either. 

 

With vaccinations specifically I would simply see what the health form looks like. If vaxes are mentioned on it, i would casually ask the worker if there is any state regulation that prevents licensure if there are unvaxed children in the home, and if she says yes ask for the rule number (because sometimes workers say yes or no but dont really know what they are talking about. ) And take it from there. 


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#7 of 15 Old 01-21-2014, 11:31 PM
 
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Well, I guess I'm the only one that feels this is deceptive. I would feel super guilty and would fear litigation if I didn't follow "the rules." But again, apparently that's just me.
Obviously, if it's not a rule in your state then it's all for naught, but if it is and you don't give the full picture you will probably not be able to simply feign ignorance. I've heard of people getting in hot water for much less.

Make sure you know the rules and go from there. Do what you think is best and hope for the best.
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#8 of 15 Old 01-21-2014, 11:42 PM
 
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Well, I guess I'm the only one that feels this is deceptive. I would feel super guilty and would fear litigation if I didn't follow "the rules." But again, apparently that's just me.
Obviously, if it's not a rule in your state then it's all for naught, but if it is and you don't give the full picture you will probably not be able to simply feign ignorance. I've heard of people getting in hot water for much less.

Make sure you know the rules and go from there. Do what you think is best and hope for the best.

 

 

Deceptive? If you dont lie how are you deceiving anyong?

 

Litagation?  Litagation by whom? Its not illegal to not vax your own children in most places (again the op was talking about her OWN child NOT lying about vaxing a foster child or something like that)...ive never heard of a parent being in legal trouble over such a thing (in regards to fostering) have you?

 

And...what rules? I would guess that in most states if its legal to not vax your child, then its legal to foster while having unvaxed children. If the state has rather strict vaccination rules (such as only having a medical exemption or something like that) it may be harder. The OP should know the rules regarding vaccination (which usually applies to school children) in her state and go from there. 

 

All that is usually required as far as medical history for your children is a physical form. Would you really go into great detail with your licensing worker about medical issues that are not on the form and are not specifically asked about? Why? Would you, for example, *volunteer* that your five yr old hasnt yet weaned? Why?


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#9 of 15 Old 01-21-2014, 11:47 PM
 
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I'm not going to argue. I think I've made my point, even though I really want to counter argue some of the points you made.
You don't agree, and that's fine. It's just not how I would go about things.
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#10 of 15 Old 01-21-2014, 11:52 PM
 
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I'm not going to argue. I think I've made my point, even though I really want to counter argue some of the points you made.
You don't agree, and that's fine. It's just not how I would go about things.

ughhhh i hate when people dont want to discuss stuff on a discussion board but fair enough you dont want to "argue." I just dont like when people post rather fearmongering "worst case scenario" type things esp with totally crazy stuff like "fear of litigation" (still scratching my head on that one.), accusations of "deception" and so on. :eyesroll 

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#11 of 15 Old 01-22-2014, 12:21 AM
 
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Arguing is different from discussion. I don't forsee with any further discussion that your opinion will change therefore it would be arguing, not discussion, and really not worth the effort. Believe me, I've done my fair share of Internet arguing.
It's okay to disagree with me. And it's okay for me to disagree with you. That's the way the world works sometimes.
I don't think its "fear mongering" to want to look at an issues from all sides, even if something discussed is unlikely to happen.
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#12 of 15 Old 02-08-2014, 04:43 PM
 
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We have just compled our homestudy in TN and the form asks specifically about VAX.  It asks "Are immunizations up to date" and "Is copy of immunization record available" Yes or no.  So, I don't know if you will have the option of don't ask, don't tell.  I would think there is some kind of waiver you can get for not vaxing your own kids.  

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#13 of 15 Old 02-18-2014, 05:14 PM
 
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This question came up in a foster parent support group on facebook. I am more concerned about certain vaccines that shed and can effect my own unvaccinated children. We are going to start the process of becoming foster parents next month, after we move to our bigger house. I am wondering about how well this will go over if/when it comes up.


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#14 of 15 Old 02-19-2014, 07:06 PM
 
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As I recall, in my state bio children are required to be vaccinated. Pets are definitely required to be vaccinated - and they demand medical records - so I'm assuming they'd require bio kids to be vaxxed too. Not sure how they'd respond to an exemption. They might license you but then only place foster kids who also have the same exemption. Or they might license you but deny medically fragile placements. Or they may not license you at all. Not sure.

As to the notion that vaxxed kids are protected from unvaxxed kids, that's false. Vaccination provides a certain level of protection but it's not 100% with all VPDs. Each vaccine is different and provides various protection depending on the child's age, illness history, stress, vax history, etc. Babies and immune-compromised children are at the greatest risk from unvaxxed kids.
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#15 of 15 Old 02-21-2014, 01:46 PM
 
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I am not in tn, but have just gone thought this in missouri. There is a form to be completed by the doctor for physical evaluation of bio kids. I have had this done two different ways. First time, we saw a regular MD who did not agree with no vax,, but completed the physical, checked "no" for up to date on vax question and we attached the official waiver form. When it came time to do it again the next year, we took the kids to a chiropractic college who routinely do physicals. Because they agree with our no vax stance, they checked "yes" for the up to date question, because in their opinion we are up to date on the vaxes they recommend....which is none!

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