We have gone the fost/adopt route for all 3 girls. When our homestudy was being done, we told them that there was NO way possible that we wanted a call for a newborn who had a chance of gonig back to the birthmom or birthfamily. We were only open to a newborn (preferably caucasian or hispanic or a mix of the two) that was in the "fast track to adoption" program. We were very, very lucky and got that call before our homestudy was even on paper. 6 months later, we did the adoption and it went down in history as one of the easiest cases in the county EVER!
DD#2 came along and it was basically the same thing. No birthfather was named and the adoption went off without a hitch.
Enter DD#3 who we are still currently fostering with hopes of adopting (she is DD#1's bio sister). A birthfather was named and he has actually shown up to the first hearing, but has since been incarcerated. It is looking great for us, but I won't breathe until those papers are signed and she is ours.
You CAN adopt through the foster care system and it doesn't have to be a heartbreaking, scary process. There are children who are free for adoption and you can request those children.
We decided against international because we are a same sex couple and would have had to lied (not an option for us). We decided against domestic/private/agency because after $40K in IVF we just could not afford it.
In the end we got 3 beautiful girls, all have caucasian moms and we believe hispanic fathers, and they are healthy and the loves of our life. Good luck on your adoption journey!! I hope my story can be of inspiration to you.
An incredibly thankful SAH Mommy to 3 fiendishly enchanting girls 11/04,10/05, & 12/06.