So, that thing about kids coming into your life in their own ways? Yeah, that!
Last weekend, I posted on my blog about our decision not to ttc this fall
. I took photos of all of our nb/sm diapering stuff and some of our m/l stuff and started selling it. I've done fairly well, too, selling about $100 worth of stuff and swapping another $80 worth or so.
Back in March, my friend, D, and I had lunch, and at the end of lunch, she asked me me whether we'd be interested in kids via adoption, if some were available. I hedged a little, and she told me that her brother and his wife had just had their 8th baby, a girl. She was early and in the hospital. She hadn't been named because they didn't expect her to live, and they didn't want to raise her. They also had a small boy, J, who was 10 months old at the time. Their other six children were in permanent kin care or had been adopted through the foster care system. D's sister-in-law had asked her if she knew of anyone who might be interested in adopting at least the baby, and possibly J, too.
D told her about us, and her SIL said she wanted us to take the baby and possibly J and adopt them as soon as possible. Shortly thereafter, Child Protection Services got involved and we assumed it was pretty much a done deal.
About six weeks ago, D met us for for breakfast at the Farmer's Market, along with several other folks. When we (D, turtle and me) were the only three at the table, she told us that the kids were back with her SIL, who didn't want them, and were we still interested? It took us about half a second to say that we were.
A week or two later, D emailed me to tell me that she wasn't sure whether her brother had terminated his parental rights. He's in jail, and she was going to see him and ask him at that point.
Weeks passed and we heard nothing from D. Yesterday afternoon, she emailed me. She'd been camping, but had an update. Her brother had not terminated his parental rights, but was seriously considering doing so, given that there's a family who will take the children. She's seeing him tomorrow to find out what his decision is.
Due to state laws, only one of us can adopt them, and that will be me. Before I met turtle, my plan was to pursue single parenthood. I'd really planned on one child at a time, but after talking things through at length with my long-time therapist, we've decided that if the kids are available, I'll adopt both of them.
We've got very good support in terms of friends, neighbors and my church community. When the kids became possibly available earlier this summer, I told my boss about the potential adoptions and she's been nothing but supportive. She's open to the idea of me working four 10-hour days in order to help with daycare costs, and I suspect that they'd be open to me working some of the time from home. If this becomes real, I'll talk with her and our director about how this might all play out. There's already a staff member who works three days in the office and two days from home, so there's a precedent.
turtle will continue her part-time job--right now, she's working three or four days a week. That will increase over the holidays, but there's a decent daycare half a block from our house (and my bus stop) that appears to have available slots and is affordable. I'm in the early stages of looking into that part, so that could change, but for now, it seems like a possible solution, at least a few days a week. We're also considering some child-care swapping with various friends. Ideally, we could work our schedules so as not to have the kids in daycare until January.
Through Nicole!'s thread about domestic agencies, I've found an agency that seems to be a great match for our situation.
I hadn't really said much about this before now because it just didn't seem like it could possibly be real. All of a sudden, we should know tomorrow or shortly thereafter whether it could be real.
Please keep us and the kids in your thoughts, and I'll post here as soon as I know anything.