Who's Who in the adoptive/foster parenting forum? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 10:13 AM - Thread Starter
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I was wondering whether people might like to have a Who's Who thread going. I know that I don't have time to read all the threads and all the intros people make, so maybe having a central place where people can say hi and give the thumbnail sketch would be nice.

I'll start.

I'm dharmamama. I am 33 and I have three kids. Ramona, our bio child, is six and joined us in February of 02. Efram is 5 (supposedly) and joined us in November of 04. Efram was adopted from Ethiopia and his birthdate is assigned. We think that, in reality, he is about the same age as or slightly older than Ramona. Efram has hearing loss and asthma and has been diagnosed with dyspraxia. He receives occupational, physical, and speech therapy. Desta is 13 and joined us in May of 06, at age 11. She was also adopted from Ethiopia. Efram and Desta are not bio sibs. We have had a really hard time with Desta. She is now in a therapy program for kids with RAD and they think she may also have PTSD. Desta has HIV and Hep B and she is also severely learning disabled, with cognitive deficits in logic, sequencing, and verbal processing (independent of ESL issues).

I'd love to hear from other people!


ETA: I realized that I left our foster parents out in the title of this thread. I tried to edit the title but it wouldn't let me. Sorry for the oversight!
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#2 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 11:00 AM
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Hi dm

I'm Ann. I have 4 kids, 1 adopted and 3 bio- I adore all of them

DS2 was born in Ethiopia and joined our family about 2.5 years ago when he was almost 5yo. We've done some of the things that adoption professionals usually advise against- adopted out of birth order, created somewhat of an artifical twinning situation, and adopted an older child while still parenting a young toddler.

When DS2 first joined our family, things were ROUGH. I have never felt more challenged in my life. I believe that most of our difficulties had to do with attachment issues that were compounded by not being able to communicate with DS. However, the attachment has only grown. And now, 2.5 years after placement, I can truly say that things are good.

I had hoped that we would add to our family via adoption again. Right now that's not looking like a viable option, but you never know what the future will bring. Perhaps it will be possible in a few years (and then I could follow all the 'rules' and adopt a child who would be the youngest in the family )

New signature, same old me: Ann- mama of 2 boys and 2 girls, partnered to a fabulous man.
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#3 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 11:33 AM
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Hi! I am fostermom24(Missy). I am a SAHM to 5 kids. My only bio child is a 14 yr old dd, it took us 7 yrs to have her. The next is a 10 yr old foster daughter, then a 7 yr old adopted dd, she came to us at 5 days old from right here in Quebec about 20 minutes from us, then we have a 4 yr old adopted ds, he was 2 days old when they placed him with us( same as the last one 20 minutes from us) he was diagnosed with ADHD last summer at 3 1/2 yrs old and then last for now he is a foster to adopt little man of 3 yrs old. He was 3 weeks old straight from the hospital and he was born with FASD. We will adopt him when he is in school. I would love to have one more child come and live with us but we will have to see. Glad to meet other parents out there with the same ideas as us.
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#4 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 11:33 AM
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Hi there. I'm Lisa, and I mostly lurk here, as I don't have my DD yet!

I'm a waiting mama, waiting on and IA from China. Looks like we'll be waiting another year and a half, maybe.

I know that if the wait times are long because abandonment in China is down, that's a good thing and I'm glad, but I have days when I get anxious!

Anyway, I lurk here to learn from the experiences of all you BTDT mamas!


: Mama to 2
Waiting 3 years and counting to be a mama to a non-furry babe...
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#5 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 11:33 AM
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I am Carrie, am almost 34 (gulp! when did that happen ?!?) )and have two boys. Jimmy is almost 10 and is our bio child. He was born at 30w, and had some complications, so we have done the whole ST/OT thing, but we are thankfully past that now. Although he is dx with mild cerebral palsy, most people wouldn't know it to look at him. We may be dealing with some more OT as he hits puberty and has growth spurts, but time will tell. He is a sweet, loving fun kid who likes to do the right thing, and is well liked at school. He likes performing in musical theatre and secretly loves being the center of attention, but in a quiet way. Connor is almost 3, and joined our family from Korea when he was just under 6m old. He is a charming, happy little boy who can have quite a (loud!) temper when the mood strikes him. He is extremely social and will chat up anyone that he can. He loves having all eyes on him and can be quite dramatic! The boys adore each other and both have similar sweet spirits, expressed in sometimes different ways. But they absolutely fit with one another.

We are currently in process to adopt another boy, whom we have named Isaac, from Korea. However, there are some medical issues that may change those plans. Holefully we will have more information soon. We are still deciding exactly what to do if that is the case, but will most likely stay in process.
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#6 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 12:14 PM
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I have one 5-year-old DD, adopted from China in 2003 when she was 8 months old. Sometimes I feel kind of strange when I say that it's really been pretty smooth sailing (so far). We have been really lucky as far as emotional and developmental issues go. My kid is happy, healthy, tested as gifted (especially in scientific and mathematical areas), and really fun to be around. We're looking to take a lengthy "heritage" and sightseeing trip to China next year (have to avoid those Olympics).
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#7 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 12:31 PM
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great idea!

I'm Jen and have two bio kids-Samantha is 5 and Ben is 3. DH and I are new in the process to adopt #3, and are planning on a domestic, transracial, open adoption.

our homestudy is tomorrow (hooray!!!) and we are anxious and excited to get this show on the road!!!
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#8 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 12:33 PM
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I'm Beth, 20/20 year old (40) and have been an Early Childhood Specialist and teacher for many years. I've been fostering for almost two years and am waiting for my son's adoption to finalize sometime this month. He's 3 1/2 now and the love of my life. He received speech services when he was a toddler but you'd never know it now. He's a bright and bubbly kid who's got a small case of the trying threes these days. He's had some trouble having P in the house, especially after she started pulling up and cruising in December. He enjoys playing with her, though, so we're making progress.

P just turned one. She moved in with us in November and has been in foster care for five months. She'll start having visits with her mother soon. She's an easy-going baby who just loves life. She was probably exposed to chemicals of some sort before she was born but is currently developmentally on target. She's a super sleeper. Goes to bed around 7:00 and wakes up around 7:00. When we're home she takes both a morning and afternoon nap and is super social the rest of the day. Last week, she had a febrile seizure and we went to the hospital in an ambulance. She's fine now, you'd never know she had five days of fever. Even then, she was bubbly and smiling.

I never got into fostering to adopt, mostly because I didn't think I could afford to raise a child and was sort-of afraid to have a teenager. C had my heart from Day 1 (way before he was taken into care.) I can't imagine life without him now. And he won't be a teenager for at least a little while.
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#9 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 12:39 PM
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Hi everyone-

I'm also mostly lurking here, while I wait to be matched with a birth- or expecting mom. We have our license and homestudy completed, so it's just all about the waiting!

I've already learned quite a bit from you all, and after reading some of your stories here, I'm glad I'll know exactly where to go if we encounter any problems along the way.

I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone!

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#10 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 12:39 PM
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I'm Monie. I'm 32 and a SAHM to 2 kids. Em is our bio child, she just turned 11 and is a superstar basketball player. Evie was born in China, and joined our family in Aug. 06, when she was 21 months old. She is now 3, and currently aspires to be a pink monkey princess basketball referee! (she idolizes her big sis, too!) She was born with cleft lip/cleft palate. She had her lip surgery in China, and her palate repair in Dec. 06. She is currently in speech therapy twice weekly, and we are facing a lip/nose revision and p-flap surgery in about a year. Surgery is so hard on the little ones, and on their family, too!

I hope to adopt again in the future.

Lisa, when is your LID? How long have you been waiting?
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#11 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 12:41 PM
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I am AImee and DH is Scott. I am 36 and he is 42 so we have some concerns about ageing out of some adoption programs (IA).

We have two biological children-- both boys.

We KNOW we will adopt, and have known so since before we were married -- it is all a question of time, with out ages -- we didn't meet till i was 31 and he 37 so that really effected out family planning. We would like a decent sized family -- 4 or 5 would be great, at least 3 (I do not call even 5 a large family)

in 2004 we had picked a program (India,) and were working on the application to the adgency when Scott's mom went into the hospital, we spent a lot of time there and didn't get stuff mailed off then we found out we were pregant with Theo (AMA, we weren't supposed to be ). After that we choose to have another biological child quickly (we started TTC when Theo was 9 months) so that Theo would have a sib close in age, something we could not be sure of with adoption. Charles is now 4 months old.

Our current plan is -- pay down debt and in April of 09 (scott's birthday) we will start the paper work for an IA. We are not set yet on adgecy or counrty (leaning towards Ethiopia). That is the reasech i need to get my butt in gear on. We hope to be able to adopt a sib set with the youngest being around 2 or 3. But we will see what God has in store for us. We are also open to medical special needs in the mild to moderate area. We have a real struggle with having to / getting to "choose" what we will and will not be open to -- this is a hard thing for us.

From 94 to 00 I worked in a group home (a group foster home) in KS. 12 kids, and 3 adults -- a couple and myself -- living in the house with them. all our kids were eligiable for traditonal foster care (most of them anyway) but there were not enough homes, some were either transitions out of care to go home (the orginal family unit), or out of the hosptial into a family setting. We (our house specifically as we were an excellent team and worked successfully with a lot of kids that had many failed placements) were also a "last stop" before teh hsoptial from some kids who had some pretty serious mental health issues and had not been successful in trational foster homes (not enough therpitic homes avaibel). I was full time, live in, for a long time, then i transitioned to "reliefe" (I would work with the parents would go on time off) for a while while working at a school also.

from 00 to 03 I worked at an emerency shelter in MO ... we had everything -- kids came to us whent hey were taken out of the house, kids came to us when thei parents were arrested at 2 am ... and so on.

I have trained for, and works oh so beiefly, a domestic hot-line and woman's shelter. (I did that, then i got the offer for the emerency shelter or for kids and switched)

ETA: we DO live in a very rural White area of Iowa (a very White state to start with). But we are confident in our ablity to parent a AA child or a child with a differnt hertiage than ours. Adoption is pretty much an accepted given in our "circle".
  • My bestfreinds dad and uncle were adopted in the 50's (from foster care, both had been very abused).
  • My Aunt has 2 adopted daughters (after 4 biological sons) one adopted at birth whom she attempted to re-lactate for and one adopted under 2 from China.
  • I have freinds who adopted a bi-racial baby (the bio child of one of our foster kids) from the foster system.
  • We have a copule we are freinds with in Russia NOW for court on the 12th for thier daugher (14 months now, 9 months or 10 at match).
  • We have anonther couple from small group at church (the Pastor is in Russia) who adopted a boy from the forster care system when he was like 3 or 4, he is 17 now (and an PR and AA mix) and their daughter they adopted from Russia at 2 or 3 and she is 12 (they also have a biological suprise who is 4).
  • I have a freind at an old job who has adopted from India twice, both older boys"
    • one of Scott's work contacts he works with a lot has two boys -- biol brothers -- adopted from Liberia they are now like 8 adn 10 and have been home quite a while.

I am soooooooooooooooooooooo glad you started this thread -- I have tought something like this would be perfect -- then no one has to tell their whole story over and over -- when someone posts, we can check here for any background we don't remember!!!! Excellent and THANKS


Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#12 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 01:46 PM
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I'm Erin and I'm almost 25. My husband M and I have 2 kids (S 11/04 and Little S 2/07) and are currently trying to decide if we should add to our family through adoption or birth for our next child. So basically we're in research mode!

Mama of three.
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#13 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 02:40 PM
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I'm Seraf and I'm also reading and researching.

I live in southeastern Ohio with my nearly 5 year old son and 2 1/2 year old daughter.

Next week I begin the classes to adopt or foster. I would like to adopt but I'm trying to keep an open mind. My son says he wants 20 little sisters. We've discussed the reality of transportation and one Baba to that many young kids. He says he'll settle for 3 more sibs. I love that spirit.

We live in a county where there are very few waiting children (Yay!). So I'm looking into adopting from another county or even out of state.

Hello everyone.

carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
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#14 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 04:03 PM
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We're in the process of adopting a baby girl from Korea, and have been waiting for a referral since last February. We have three (bio) sons. Ds1 and Ds2 are identical twins with a genetic disorder and special needs (cognitive and physical), and Ds2 passed away unexpectedly last September. Ds3 just turned 2.

Dh and I have always wanted to adopt. We waited until we were ready to move forward before picking a country, but we were always drawn to Asia. We looked at India, China, and Korea very closely, and in the end Korea fit our family best. As we've moved ahead, I'm so glad Korea was our choice...I have so much respect for the Korean culture and (since dh and I really enjoy travel) I can't wait to have an excuse to get to know the country better.

Right now we know we're next on the list for a referral, so every time the phone rings I jump up and hope it's our social worker. Referrals, especially of little girls, are way down since early last year when a new law went into effect in Korea--now all children must be available for domestic adoption for 5 months before they can be placed with an international family.

I'm a SAHP, dh is a high school teacher. My background is in tropical ecology (big-time , but I'm going to school so I can teach high school biology once our kids are a little older. I'm a part-time photographer (mostly for friends), a full-time children's book collector , a passionate democrat, and in my spare time I love to quilt, read, cook, and refinish old furniture. What that means for adoption is that I've found just about every children's book out there having to do with Korea or adoption, I'm neck-deep in several quilting projects for our daughter, and I'm teaching myself to cook Korean food (I kimchi!!)...the photographs are all being planned out in my head, but I guess I'll have to wait, and (lastly ) the election is providing some really great distractions while we twiddle our thumbs waiting for a referral phone call.

That's me/us in a nutshell.

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#15 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 04:04 PM
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I'm Elsa. I'm 31 and I have 4 kids. I have 3 biological sons, age 5.5, almost 4 and 5 months. I have a soon-to-be-adopted daughter, age 3.5.

As you can see, we haven't played by the "rules" either. My middle ds and my dd are artificial twins (they are 6 weeks apart in age). Our first placement was a 10 year old boy when my oldest bio was a newborn.

We have been foster parents for five years, and have had 2 placements in addition to our daughter.

One was a boy who we had for 3 years (he was 10 when he came, 13 when he left). We had gotten to know him when we worked at a group home when we were dating. I had always wanted to be a foster parent, but this particular kid was the prompt for starting early (dh and I were both 23 when we started the process). This kiddo left our home to return to a residential program after it became clear that it wasn't safe for us to keep him in our home (RAD, sexual acting out, aggression, ODD, ADHD, and possible fire-setting). He is now in another foster home in our agency and we keep in touch.

We also had our dd's baby brother placed with us last spring for two months (age 4 weeks when we got him, 3 months when he left). He is now with his mom at a residential program for pregnant and parenting young women. We are keeping our adoption open, and are fortunate enough to have a friendly relationship with the mom. She has asked me to babysit the baby (he turns one at the end of this month!) one weekend a month. We've done it twice so far and it is a lot of fun.

At this point, although my heart wants to keep fostering, we are done for now. I am planning to keep up our liscense, in case dd's brother ever needs to be in care again. I would want him to be here, and I am fairly certain his mother would want that too. And I *know* my dd would!

I hope to do more fostering in the future, but right now I need to concentrate on the kids I have, our business(we have a farm), and I'm hoping to go back to school to become a nurse.

Although, if my agency called me......

I'm kind of fantasizing about a teenage girl right now

Oh, also, before having kids, I worked as a post-adoption case manager with families who adopted kids from foster care.
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#16 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 04:52 PM
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HI I am Carol. I am 40 and I have 2 bio kids, Cassi 22yo and Caitlyn 10 months. We have been fostering my 18 month old twin niece and nephew for the past 18 months. They came to us at 3 weeks old. In October their 11 yo sister joined our family as well.

We are now in the process of adopting the twins and will continue to do guardianship with the 11 yo.

When the twins came to us they were 3 weeks old. My daughter Cassi was 21 and had moved out of the house, so it was just hubby and I and he worked out of town during the week and was only home on weekends. When the twins were 3 months old I found out I was 4 months pregnant, talk about a shock Nothing like a little spacing between kids huh?

The past 18 months have been quite challenging at times, but so very rewarding. If you would have told me 18 months ago that I would be starting over with not one, not two but three babies and an 11 yo I would have said you were crazy, but yet here I am.

These babies have enriched my life in so many ways. I couldn't imagine life without them:

Mom to, Cassi,, 25 yo daughter, 4 yo twins, Carson & Camryn 3 yo Caitlyn and my wonderful 14 yo neice, Carlie
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#17 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 05:06 PM
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I'm hoping it's okay for me to post in this thread. We are not specifically "looking" to adopt, but we are in the process of becoming licensed for foster care.

My name is Chelsea, and I am a 28yo mother of two bio daughters, 3 and change, and almost 2. We have also had three miscarriages in the last nine months. Foster care and adoption is something that has always been on our hearts, and we are finally making it a reality! We feel like God isn't done with our family yet, and He is leading us in this direction. We plan to take foster placements from 0-2 (to stay younger than our youngest), and if one of them came up for adoption, we would do it! But our primary goal is foster care, not adoption. We would also like more bio kids eventually too. We love children!
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#18 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 05:08 PM
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I'm Theresa, mom to two dds.

I am 28. My bio dd is 8.5 and was born with special needs. Her condition is genetic, so adoption was in the cards for us from early on. We struggled for years trying to find our path in adoption and growing our family. We were licenced foster/adopt parents, but we did not hold out much hope for this program. We just felt that we had to do something... sitting around was making us crazy! It ended up that when we decided to go forward with a domestic adoption program we got 'the call' from our foster agency for our daughter!

our little dd is now just over 2. She came home when she was 3 days old and has truly enriched all of our lives.

We are ready for our next child, but again are struggling with the right program, and just like last time we have kept our foster licence open just in case. It seems international adoption is not something that would work for our family, unfortunatley, so its very likely that we will proceed with a domestic transracial adoption. Right now, we are in a transition period... dh just started a new job and we are buying our first house so we want to let the dust settle a bit before moving forward. But... sooner rather than later it will happen!

Proud mom of three!  Special needs teen princess wheelchair.gif , 7 year old happy girl modifiedartist.gif , and my flower toddlerhearts.gif

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#19 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 05:15 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by AkRotts View Post
If you would have told me 18 months ago that I would be starting over with not one, not two but three babies and an 11 yo I would have said you were crazy, but yet here I am.
If anyone had told me back in 2004 that I would soon be parenting a 13 year old girl, I'd have said they were nuts, so I know where you're coming from. Not to mention parenting a kid with HIV and RAD. Who, me??

I saw that some people told a little more about their kids and themselves than I did, so I'll add some.

Ramona is extremely artistic and extremely bright. She is currently into unicorns, fairies, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (her favorite is Donatello, because he wears a purple mask). Ramona has always loved animals and wants to be either a wildlife biologist or a wildlife rehabber when she grows up. Ramona has sensory processing disorder and can be very crabby, but she's a wonderful little girl.

Efram is a very, very happy kid. He loves to sing and dance and he's constantly in motion. He is into martial arts, Legos, and TMNT (his favorite is Leonardo). When Efram grows up, he plans to adopt five boys from Ethiopia (maybe 10). He will name them all Thomas Tavish and call them by number: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 (and possibly 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10). He will leave his boys with me during the day while he goes to work at the same place that Daddy works, and we have to get a larger dining room table because our current one is not large enough to seat him and his five (maybe 10) boys when they come for dinner every night. For watching (and homeschooling!) his boys, Efram plans to pay me the princely sum of $8. A week.

Desta loves soccer and is quite good at it. She is anxiously awaiting the beginning of the spring season. She was the leading scorer on her fall team, which won their league. Desta enjoys watching movies, preferably about princesses. She also likes to shop and cook. Desta plans to move out the day she turns 18 so that she can, in her words, "do whatever I want all day and never have to do any chores."

In my pre-kid life, I worked as a social worker and as a textbook editor. I traveled to Europe 8 times in five years, just for fun. My interests include vegetarian cooking (I hate cooking, but I am always interested in new veg meals), bicycling, gardening, and Buddhism. My favorite hobby is reading. I am foster mom to a Humane Society rabbit named Mimi. In addition to three kids and a bunny, I have three cats, a dog, and a husband.

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#20 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 05:32 PM
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Hi, I'm Trish and I mostly lurk here.

I'm 47 (for a couple more months!) and am a single-mother-by-choice to my 5 y.o. Tiny Queen. She was born in Guatemala and I brought her home at age 1 year 1 week. I can't believe she is starting kindergarten in the fall!

I have an appointment tomorrow to turn in my foster-to-adopt packet. We are hoping to bring another baby girl into our family.

Nice to meet everyone!

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#21 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 06:03 PM
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Hi I'm 25 and I stay at home with my 4 children.

Holden is 3 years old, Larry and Pearl are both 2years old, and Delilah is 6 months.

We fostered Larry and adopted him after he had been with us for two years. He was born drug addicted and he has Sensory Integration Disorder but he is currently doing really well. (We are told to expect some dificulties in school).

I was pregnant with Pearl when Larry came to us and so we created an artificial twin situation as well. But since they were both infants when they "met" they seem to be quite comfortable being treated as twins.

We are still foster parents but because our chidren are so young we seem to be in a holding pattern as far as adding any new children. Hopefully soon we will get another placement.

Student and SAHM to 6 little people. Some by birth, some through adoptionheart-1.gif , some through foster care
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#22 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 06:31 PM
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I'm Amy and my husband is Joel. We're both 27. We have 3 biological kids- Daughters Dylan (9) and Brynn (4) and son Nate (13 months). We adopted our son Alex (7) from Belize in May of 2007. We heard about him after my mom and brother went to his village in Belize on a mission trip in 2004 and started working on adopting him soon after. He really has adjusted very easily to everything but does still have some issues and some hard times, as is expected. We want to have one more biological child and hopefully adopt one more time- maybe a younger child and foster to adopt next time...

~ Amy

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#23 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 07:56 PM
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I'll add my quick intro...
I'm Cyndi (35) and along with my DP, am the proud mommy of DS (2.5yo).
DS came to our family through domestic adoption and we met him when he was 30 hours old and checked him out of the hospital. He was born in AL, so we had to wait for the ICPC to allow us to travel home to CA, so we spent a week getting to know one another at a hotel.
As he's so young, we tend not to have a lot of adoption issues. Though, most of the issues the "grocery store" people have are around race - DS is AA and DP and I are CC.
Great to meet you all!
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#24 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 08:24 PM
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I'm Katherine, single mom to a bio 11 yo son. I've been waiting to adopt from the US foster care system since July 2006 (first homestudy approved), had a horrendous year of waiting and being put off by my horrible old agency, switched agencies, finished a new homestudy around Dec 2007. Also got foster licensed for ages 0-4 (wanting to adopt ages 0-10)...got an unofficial match of an 8 or 9 yr old boy in Jan or early Feb, just waiting to hear whether TPR will go through....and was suprised with the placement of a newborn (3 wk old) foster baby boy a couple of weeks ago!

Baby has a visit with mom on Friday, but she has had two prior TPRs....so there is a strong possibility this baby will be TPRd as well. It would be amazing if i was able to adopt him...he is just about the most perfect baby, totally healthy, wonderful temperment, and beautiful to boot! (and its not just me saying it....strangers walk up to me to tell me how gorgeous he is!!)

My worker said that if it looks like we'll get to adopt the baby, then they would probably match the older boy with someone else, but that if the baby is just going to be a foster, then we could still get the older boy. So i dont know whats going to happen there.....i just have my hands full parenting a newborn for the first time in 11 yrs!! I havent been online much at all.

I'm hoping when i talk to Baby D's worker on Friday, she can give me a better sense of where his case is headed. The info she gave me last week is that if there are prior terminations, future children are usually automatically TPR'd....but i dont know if there are other family members who would want the baby. I didnt realize i would fall so instantly in love with a foster child....it will be very hard on everyone in my family if he leaves.


Katherine, single homeschooling mom to Boy Genius (17) geek.gif  Thing One (6) and Thing Two (6) fencing.gif and one outgoing Girl (12) bikenew.gif and hoping for more through foster care and adoption homebirth.jpgadoptionheart-1.gif 
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#25 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 08:27 PM
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I'm Theresa and I'm almost 38. I have one bio dd who is 5 and in kindergarten. My dh and I are waiting for a referral for a baby from China. We've just recently started working with a different agency hoping to be matched with a child with special needs. No news yet but I'm hoping it will be sometime in the near future. I'm sick of waiting! I want to meet my child and dd wants to meet her brother/sister!
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#26 of 66 Old 03-03-2008, 10:00 PM
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Checking in here from older parent land - I'm 43, my partner just turned 50 two weeks ago, and our beautiful daughter just turned 4. We adopted her from Guatemala in the summer of 2004. We are very happily and permanently a family of 3.

Our daughter is amazingly articulate about adoption and her grief and loss, which comes up from time to time. I'm very happy that we have created a loving environment where it's ok for her to have her feelings and express them. We are looking forward to a return trip to Guatemala as soon as she is ready, and hopefully we will be able to meet with her birth family.

I feel blessed every single day to have such a wonderful child in our lives. We have managed to work out flexible work schedules so she spends three days in a great day care center and four days at home each week. We do lots of wonderful things together - violin lessons, Spanish classes, swimming, crafts, trips to the zoo and the Raptor Center, playing outside, cooking - and I treasure every minute.
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#27 of 66 Old 03-04-2008, 12:15 AM
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Nice idea, DM. I edited the thread title based on your OP. Hope you don't mind!!


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#28 of 66 Old 03-04-2008, 12:55 AM
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I'm Momily (38) single mom to DS who is almost 9 and came to me as a 16 day old. He is absolutely the most wonderful child in the world, bright funny very goofy but at the same time very wise with lots of commong sense. I can't get over how lucky I am to be able to be his parent.

I dream every day of a second son, maybe a baby, maybe a toddler or preschooler. I think a lot about Ethiopia, but also about foster-adopt or a domestic special needs newborn adoption. I know with DS's adoption I went through a long time of changing my mind and being uncertain and then one day I just woke up and knew what was right -- I hope that happens again this time.
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#29 of 66 Old 03-04-2008, 12:55 AM
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everyone! I am a SAHM of 2 incredible little people. Our dd is almost 4yo and ds recently turned 3yo.

Our sweet girl came home to us when she was 4months old from the foster care system. We adopted her on National Adoption Day when she was 20months old. She was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and has received therapies since coming home with us. She is doing better than great and has proven one doctor wrong already when he said she would never walk. She not only walks, she runs. She will be starting Montessori school in the fall and is quite excited to be such a "big girl". She is my little nurturer, she loves her baby dolls and takes really good care of them, in fact, she recently even started putting clothes on them.
Dh and I were blessed to have been able to meet her First Mother and spend a small amount of time with her. We haven't heard from her or about her since dd was 10months old. This makes me sad for our sweet little girl but at least I'll be able tell a bit of information and maybe "V" will come back into dd's life at some point in time.

We adopted our beautiful little boy through a privated domestic adoption. We first held him when he was a few hours old and took him home from the hospital. He is our beautiful, intelligent, charming little snuggle bug and I am completely crazy about him. He is a rough and tumble little boy whol loves to be dirty. He also is starting to read and is just starting to write his name. He understands and can speak some Greek (dh is fluent) he speaks like he is much older than just 3yo. Having told you (okay...bragged about) how intellectual he is I will now tell you that he isn't the least bit interested in potty learning! In fact he could really care less about the whole process. So, due to self maintainance issues, he won't be going to school for about a year. Which is just fine with me!!

We keep in close contact with his First Mother and the rest of his family. Before we moved out of state he was able to spend a day with his family and it was just a wonderful, emotional day for all. We again were blessed not only to be able to meet but also develop a relationship with his family of origin. It's wonderful to be able to let him know things that are sometimes a mystery in adoption. For instance, he is very musical (I won't go into any more details about his genius) when I talked to his grandmother she told me that her mother,( so his great grandmother) was a pianist and his great-aunt played violin in an orchestra. Words cannot express how I feel about him having access to all of his history. Suffice to say, I am over the moon happy for him!

Both of our adoptions were quite simple although adopting through DFCS was bumpy at times. Our journey to adoption was was quite an emotional one but I would go through it all over again to have the privledge and blessing to be called Mamma by our little angels.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I was also adopted. I was a toddler when I went to live with my adoptive family. I have a relationship with all of my bio family and am at a very peaceful place about my own adoption.

It's great to meet all of you!
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#30 of 66 Old 03-04-2008, 04:16 PM
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I'm Elesia (although i always go by Alicia on message boards!) and I'm 40. My husband is Mike and he'll be 40 this May. We have been married since 1994 and started TTC a couple months before our wedding. A year into TTC, we decided to begin testing to see what was taking us so long. DH went first and we learned he has azoospermia, which means his body does not make sperm. We had three options- artificial insemination with donor sperm, adoption, or childfree. I wanted to pursue adoption. DH wanted to pursue donor sperm as he thought I would always resent him if I didn't get to experience pregnancy and birth. Because we had a difference of opinion about what to do we had to go with option 3- remain childless. Eventually, like 9 years later, we agreed to pursue the donor sperm route. We did this for a year and a half and then moved on to fostering to adopt. Our foster care license was issued on 8-30-05, our son's birthdate He was placed with us when he was four weeks old and we went through more emotional turmoil with the reunification process than we did during all the previous infertility issues combined. (I'm really not exaggerating either)

The adoption was finalized in September 07. We have some contact with DS's birthmom. I have been sending her pictures a few times a year along with a letter to let her know what DS is doing developmentally. She has always responded with a letter letting us know what she is doing and the last couple of times she sent pictures (I requested them) of her, DS's birthfather (they are no longer together) and some pictures from when she was pregnant with DS and moments after his birth. I fantasize that she will be always be involved in our lives and at a more visible level than she is right now- but I don't know how to proceed or even if I should. Also DH doesn't think it's a good idea yet. He's been fine with the pictures and letters, but he wouldn't be fine with us actually visiting/talking... She is very young and very damaged from having terribly abusive parents as well as spending over ten years in foster care herself. In fact, she was still a foster child when DS was born- that's one reason he was brought into care so quickly. I think she has much personal growth to do to understand her childhood and how her experiences don't have to define who she wants to be.

We have pretty much decided our family is complete. We have not terminated our fostercare license but have turned down several baby placements. I can't bear to go through reunification again especially now that we also have DS to worry about. I think the only placement we would accept would be if we got a call that DS's birthmother had another baby who was in foster care.

Alicia DH Mike DS Gage Lola & Zeus Fishy Dishy, Charkey and Shark
RIP Sidney 1994-2010 RIP Charlie Brown 2008-2010
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