Motivated to write a short version of my baby's birth by another poster. Don't think I did it before.
Was with ob/gyn group because couldn't afford to pay out of pocket and no midwives on the plan. Picked most natural-friendly group in the county (per mothering.com recs!). Third birth.
First labor, 56 hours start to finish (with midwife); dilated at least 5 cm more than 30 hours before birth -- I only know now that I learned how to check myself, because I remember what it felt like. Contractions 1.5 min long 2-3 min. apart from Monday evening through birth Weds morning. Baby was posterior, so little/slow progress. Something told me not to go in; finally went to hospital c. 10:30 pm Tuesday after water broke with meconium. Midwife checked at 11:00, 8 cm. Checked again 3 am, still 8 cm. Gave birth naturally 3:40 am. Clearly, my labor stalled.
Second labor 24 hours start to finish (not counting pre-labor). Ob/gyn. 12 hours from when I first checked myself and put all five fingers on baby's head at least 5 cm. Delayed going in until transition, got to hospital 11:00 PM, birth 11:36 PM.
Third labor, same ob/gyn practice. Labor 36 hours or so from regular 10 mins apart contractions (3 cm dilated up from zero the week before that morning at routine appt), 24 from serious, 1.5 min long, 3-4 min apart contrax. Knew I barely made it to the hospital when transition hit with #2 and transition was much shorter with #2 from #1, so decided to go in before I really felt like I needed to. Asked to go to ob/gyn office that AM for heart tones check, which head of practice had said would be fine, but ob/gyn that returned my call refused and insisted I go to hospital ASAP as I was clearly (by voice) in active labor. I'd say so! I was at least 5-6 cm dilated already (c. 10 am) but I knew nothing was happening and didn't go. C. 2:30 PM decided to head on in as could tell some progress. Checked first time 4:00 PM, 7 cm. Panicked rush to delivery room on stretcher because "you're going to give birth any minute" despite my insistence that I was nowhere ready to give birth, hadn't hit transition yet, etc.
Doc came back c. 7:45, checked, said still 7, need to start interventions ASAP. Why? Baby okay? Yes, baby fine, but totally stalled and need to restart labor. But all my labors stall! Doc insisted there was no way I knew I was in active labor before getting to the hospital with either prior birth (same doc who told me that morning I was clearly in active labor and had to check in) so how would I know I stalled? Plus "in 25 years of practice, I've never once seen labor stall so long and go on to have a natural birth." Well, duh! Because you never once left a woman alone after labor stalled so long!
Then she started scare tactics. "You're almost certainly going to need a C-section anyway. Your cervix is thickening, swelling. If it goes on like that we will have to section you. Don't you want to at least try breaking your water/pitocin first, so you have a chance? You realize, it's 90% certain you're going to have a section anyway, we might as well get moving trying what we can try."
By then, I WAS in transition and DH could tell I couldn't talk at all or even hear what she was saying. He kicked her out of the room, saying we needed to "discuss." She rolled her eyes at the nurse on her way out and muttered something under her breath about stupid women.
Next thing she knew, maybe 20 minutes after she left the room, she came running in to catch the baby who was already crowning and who was born less than a minute after she got back. We all know that had she broken my water when she wanted, and the baby was born the same time the same way, she would have insisted it was because of the intervention. But thankfully, we stuck to our guns that there would be no intervention without clear medical need, and baby was born at his own rate in his own time. (Water broke as he crowned.)
She never made eye contact with me again. The next thing she said to me, when I reminded her no cord traction when she was stitching me up (I felt some tugging when she moved the cord out of the way, which she probably had to do) was to yell at me that she knew what she was doing and remembered it in my birth plan.
OMG I am so sorry you had to go to the Hospital instead of have things your way. Stupid Doctor. They make me so mad! I am so proud to hear you stuck to your guns and ignored the scare tactics!!! BRAVO!!! You are a labor Queen!!!! I wanna see him! Got any pictures??
Brittany Wife to Cedric (4-9-05) Mommy to: Gideon EdmundG.E.M.(2-1-07)
Miscarried Isabelle Aurora I.A.M. (12-12-08) Lorelei AriahL.A.M.(1-14-10) Youtube.com/user/murillomania
Tabitha Ivy Esperanza T.I.E.M.(7-17-11) My First Phineas Alexander Lyric P.A.L.M.(3-30-13)
Well, I was planning the hospital birth. I am very overweight and really don't feel safe homebirthing because it would be really hard to transfer me if needed.
What really bothered me was the whole intervention spiel -- first she was pushing intervention to get things moving again and then she flat out told me my cervix was thickening (swelling) and I wasn't going to give birth naturally anyway so we might as well get started doing the interventions so we can have tried because it'll probably be a c-section anyway.
Well, here's proof that "cervix thickening" doesn't mean you won't be able to give birth.
Luckily, my insurance changed, and this time I'm going with the (only) midwifery practice in town that delivers in the hospital. I made it clear to them that all I want is to be left alone during labor and to deliver in whatever position I'm comfortable. They can monitor as needed, but in between, just don't talk to me or check any more than is absolutely necessary.
Great Birth Story! You are a very strong mama, that knows her body well! And can I just say Bravo to your partner for knowing you symptoms well enough to clear he room!
Married to Michael and Mother of Jake 9, Jillianne 7, Jensen 5, Jacen 4. I've got severe osteoporosis, a fractured hip and chronic pain-so please be patient with me! Pagan,Crocheter,Reader,Homeschooler- that's me in a nutshell.
Yes, I'm glad he had the presence of mind to get her out of there. On the other hand, he had no idea where I was in labor -- I had stopped arguing when I hit transition because I just couldn't talk anymore (though I wouldn't have let her DO anything) and he kept arguing about not breaking the water because that "starts a clock ticking on birth." Yes, it does, when you're in the hospital, but there was no way in HELL I was going to still be in labor 24 hours from then! I had told him repeatedly since that Sunday that I was going to give birth either Thursday or Friday evening, and when we went to the hospital it was because I knew I'd be giving birth within the next few hours and was afraid that by the time I knew more specifically it would be too late to go in. So he was prepared for another full day of labor, I suppose.
The real reason DH asked her to leave was that he could tell I wasn't engaged in the conversation anymore and he wanted to make sure she didn't take advantage of my inability to respond to start doing things.