My Birth Story - Tyson Noah - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 11:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Ladies!

 

For all of you out there considering or determined to have a UC, congratulations.  It is empowering, exhilarating and I am a firm believer of having healthier babies and easier births due to UC. 

 

I was one who didn't receive any prenatal care or use a midwife; I found it pretty useless as I could weight myself, check my blood pressure I felt sense able enough to know if something felt wrong.  I tracked his positioning and even knew that he was a boy!

I went into labor at 1 a.m. on July 18th of this year and had Tyson at 9:08 a.m.  My partner was there and was supportive - there where times that I could not handle the intense contractions.  I also had a c-section only a year and a half ago with my first son. 

 

I checked dilation and was certain that I felt his head.  I went to the bathroom and felt ready to push and scooted to the edge of the toilet; using it as a stool.  I also used the bathtub and an actual stool to brace my feet so I had something to bear down on. Rubbing the outside of my vagina, I felt a large bulb and told my partner that the head was coming out, he was just about here! There was a loud bang and my amniotic sac literally exploded and the water covered the bathroom. His foot immediately came after wards.  We were shocked, sure he was head first.  I didn't panic right away, I knew that breech, vaginal births were totally possible.

 

The next foot came seconds later and he came out up to an inch above his belly button.  This is where I panicked he wasn't coming any further and was stuck, I had my partner call the ambulance. Throughout the course of the call I was told to try different positions with my boyfriend pulling, pushing, prying and the baby had turned a deep shade of purple and was no longer moving when I tickled his foot.  We were certain that he was dead by the time the ambulance had gotten there. The EMTs had me pushing and the guy had both of his hands in my birth canal trying to pull him out while I pushed. They tried for several minutes when a female EMS told them to get me to the hospital.  They carried me down the stairs sin my comforter, while I held my baby up, still stuck.  The man in the ambulance was trying to get his arms down, which was keeping him from coming him out, Tyson had his arms raised up so his shoulders were in the way.  They had my push but I was exhausted and the pain from having the EMTs hands in there at the same time was excruciating, I had given up, I didn't see the use in it because I knew in my heart he was dead anyways.  I give a huge push and feel terrible finally the EMT in the ambulance got his arms down and there was a huge release of pressure and I could feel Tyson Sliding out.  I gave one massive push and I didn't release that one push till he was out, it felt like forever.  He came out and they laid him at my feet, it was nice feeling his skin against mine but I could see he was still a very dark purple. 

 

The man wouldn't tell me his condition and I pleaded with him to tell me if he was alive. Once I was in the hospital I was unable to see him as they rushed us both of into different directions.  They removed my placenta and I asked to a pain reliever; I couldn't take it anymore and wanted the pain to go away.  My boyfriend and family went to see Tyson and he wasn't breathing on his own, he was born dead, resuscitated, on a ventilator and in a coma.  felt like it was all my fault, like I killed my baby and I was terrified that if he couldn't learn to breath on his own that he would die.  All because I was stubborn.

 

The last day of my stay in the hospital he began breathing on his own. They had him on a cooling blanket to slow all his vitals down and keep his brain from swelling, he had numerous CAT scans and EEGs , seizure medication for unexplained involuntary movements and other medications to keep him from being in pain.  Within the first week he stopped the movements and woke up.  The second week he began moving fluidly, following people with his eyes, and smiling.  He was being fed with an IV and they wouldn't use my breast milk for fear that I was trying to harm him. He passed his hearing the third week and upgraded to a tube down his nose, was put in a crib and taken off several monitors as well as using my breast milk after much persistence and having it screened.  He is a month old and three days and still in the NICU, they took him to a new hospital to get surgery for a tube done after we had been begging the doctors to let him try to eat before doing it.  They did a test and he did well, they failed at giving a good reason why they still wanted it but had already said they just wanted to get him out of there...it didn't seem fair to him.  So at the new hospital they did another eval and decided to hold off on the surgery.  The nurse fed him a bottle by mouth yesterday and he ate the whole thing, they are now feeding him as much as he will take by mouth and then the rest in his tube.  It is hard work for him and makes him really tired because he didn't have a gag reflex for the first 2.5-3 weeks, couldn't protect his airways or cough.  But he probably won't need the surgery now, time will tell. 

 

It is also worth mentioning that CPS took our children away the day after I got home and placed them with family so that they could give us psychiatric and parental evaluations.  They said what happened with Tyson was an extreme case of neglect and that due to the fact that we considered abortion and adoption that we did this on purpose.  I tested positive for marijuana but the baby did not and that was also held against me, I have since then quit smoking.  We can't see Tyson or our other two children without supervision and we should hopefully have them back in 3-4 weeks. 

 

There is no feeling like the feeling of having a baby dangle halfway out of your vagina while you are certain that it is dead.  There is no way to explain the guilt, terror, depression, anger and other emotions that we have gone through.  Tyson might have brain damage but after being stuck for over 10 minutes and all the progress he has made as well as the brain's ability to regenerate and reroute it looks promising that he will lead a healthy and normal life. 

 

I never thought prenatal care was needed and in many cases it isn't, only in rare instances do babies die or have complications.  I didn't think it would happen to my family, I even thought he was head first but it was the amniotic sac. I stress that you get prenatal care just in case, make sure you KNOW it is safe to do on your own. Don't just guess or go on instinct, make sure, this has been so painful and I don't want it to happen to others. I would still have a home birth it was an amazing experience up until the foot came out and I encourage others not to be afraid but to be safe and protect themselves and their babies. Good luck!

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#2 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 11:23 AM
 
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I am very sorry about your baby. I hope the doctors, PT, OT and others will do their best to minimize the damage he suffered.  Rehab medicine is amazing now and I have seen what they can do!. 

 

I also hope that your fully cooperate with CPS and get all the mental health help you need so you can get your kids back.

 

Prenatal care is very important for many reasons and it protects moms and babies.  Before the onset of modern medicine a large number of mom's and babies died.  There was a reason for proverbs such as "Pregnant woman has one foot in the grave"

 

 

May your family thrive and overcome the difficulties you are experiencing now.

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#3 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 01:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, he doing quite well...just wanted to give a warning. Maybe it was misunderstood we have no psychiatric needs and are perfectly sane; it's that CPS saw us as a threat to our children because we had no prenatal care and a UC that went awry. We've finished the evals and the dr said he saw no reason for to not have them...waiting on CPS now. I think some websites are misleading by making excuses for why pregnant women died in history and make light of it. Also I see a lot of these sites saying if the baby dies thats just nature but when it comes down to it it can be avoided sometimes.  Just dont be blinded by the excitement and empowerment that UC offers and forget important details because I did.

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#4 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 02:54 PM
 
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I'm sorry mama, I hope your babe is OK.
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#5 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 03:16 PM
 
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I'm sorry that your baby was injured during birth and I hope he recovers the best he can.

 

With some degree of brain swelling, seizures and impaired reflexes, it sounds like it's very likely that he'll be suffering to cerebral palsy for the rest of his life to some degree and I wanted to let you know that, if you need help and information on cerebral palsy, there are websites where you can find some useful information, e.g. this one:

 

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/cerebral-palsy/DS00302


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#6 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 03:26 PM
 
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Your baby almost died. He is only alive because of modern medicine.  You will have to deal with his issues, hopefully minor once, for the rest of your life . Yes, you need some mental health help. Find a good therapist who can help you deal with very obvious feeling of guilt and depression. Your child needs you to be strong .

 

I have a child with special needs and denial is often the first step a parent goes through.   Denial  often  stops parents from getting help they need for themselves and their kid.

 

Majority of babies that died in 19th century or die in Africa now are routinely saved by modern medicine.  My brother and my younger son. My older son with special needs has an amazing life thank to modern healthcare.  I think many of us would not be even alive to post here if it was not for better public health measures and modern medicine.

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#7 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 03:26 PM
 
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Yikes, so much for "hands of the breech".  Pulling and tugging, really?  Shame on those EMTs! 

 

Yes, CP sounds very likely.  I'm sorry that this happened to you.  Many women who choose UP/UC make sure to educate themselves on optimal positioning and practices for delivering a breech baby.  If you are planning on ever UCing again in the future, please read Ina May's Guide several times before labor.

 

Best wishes to you and yours.


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#8 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 03:31 PM
 
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The baby was purple and stuck and not moving. Different positions were tried. The boyfriend was trying to help.   What were EMT supposed to do?

 

Mom had no intuition that baby was breech.  Is not no obvious that if she had an US  or at leas one prenatal at the end she could have been alerted about breech and educate herself.

 

What are the evils of prenatal care exactly?  

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#9 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 03:31 PM
 
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Is it just me or does this thread sound made up?  I'm sorry if that's hurtful but the tone is so detached and aloof, like a person stating facts with no emotional involvement.  Maybe it was created for the purpose of instilling fear in people who choose or might choose to UC?

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#10 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 03:32 PM
 
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Words escape me as to my thoughts - all I can say is I'm thankful your child is alive and hopefully has escaped with only minor injuries/issues.

 

 

 

I had to respond to this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by blessedwithboys View Post

Yikes, so much for "hands of the breech".  Pulling and tugging, really?  Shame on those EMTs! 

 

Yes, CP sounds very likely.  I'm sorry that this happened to you.  Many women who choose UP/UC make sure to educate themselves on optimal positioning and practices for delivering a breech baby.  If you are planning on ever UCing again in the future, please read Ina May's Guide several times before labor.

 

Best wishes to you and yours.



I hope and pray you never plan to UC again after such a tragedy....  And reading Ina May isn't a guarantee to have a happy UC/HB......

 


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#11 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 03:32 PM
 
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Or mom in shock after what happened. I seen it sometime that parents act totally detacched if something is  very wrong with the baby  because they think it will be easier to let go when baby dies.

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#12 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 03:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blessedwithboys View Post

Yikes, so much for "hands of the breech".  Pulling and tugging, really?  Shame on those EMTs! 

 

They got him out. If they hadn't tried, the baby very probably would be dead. Kudos to them and the effort they made to save his life.

 

Yes, CP sounds very likely.  I'm sorry that this happened to you.  Many women who choose UP/UC make sure to educate themselves on optimal positioning and practices for delivering a breech baby.  If you are planning on ever UCing again in the future, please read Ina May's Guide several times before labor.

 

How about getting an ultrasound shortly before birth to find out if the next kid is breech? If it is, you can still decide whether you want to go through the same routine again or if you'd rather have a midwife / OB handle the tricky part (which'd very likely lower your risk of having to care for two kids with cerebral palsy.)

 

Best wishes to you and yours.



 

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#13 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 03:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow_mandala View Post

Is it just me or does this thread sound made up?  I'm sorry if that's hurtful but the tone is so detached and aloof, like a person stating facts with no emotional involvement.  Maybe it was created for the purpose of instilling fear in people who choose or might choose to UC?


 

I could see this being made up as well, though I can also see a  NCB extremist actually having this happen due to the views they so often have...
 

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Alenushka View Post

Your baby almost died. He is only alive because of modern medicine.  You will have to deal with his issues, hopefully minor once, for the rest of your life . Yes, you need some mental health help. Find a good therapist who can help you deal with very obvious feeling of guilt and depression. Your child needs you to be strong .

 

I have a child with special needs and denial is often the first step a parent goes through.   Denial  often  stops parents from getting help they need for themselves and their kid.

 

Majority of babies that died in 19th century or die in Africa now are routinely saved by modern medicine.  My brother and my younger son. My older son with special needs has an amazing life thank to modern healthcare.  I think many of us would not be even alive to post here if it was not for better public health measures and modern medicine.


Agreed 110%
 

 


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#14 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 06:15 PM
 
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I'm almost in shock at this post.  The EMTs saved the baby's life.  Read the story again.  I suppose if she had gone through totally with the UC, this would have been one of the "babies die sometimes."

 

 

I'm so sorry for what happened to your baby, OP, and sorry for the response you are getting from some here.  Reading a book would not have helped your baby.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blessedwithboys View Post

Yikes, so much for "hands of the breech".  Pulling and tugging, really?  Shame on those EMTs! 

 

Yes, CP sounds very likely.  I'm sorry that this happened to you.  Many women who choose UP/UC make sure to educate themselves on optimal positioning and practices for delivering a breech baby.  If you are planning on ever UCing again in the future, please read Ina May's Guide several times before labor.

 

Best wishes to you and yours.



 

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#15 of 30 Old 08-21-2011, 11:07 PM
 
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I wish some sort of warning were placed on this post title, so people that are having fears or doubts of UC do not read this post. My apologies to the OP, I hope the baby does well in the future.

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#16 of 30 Old 08-22-2011, 05:29 AM
 
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Isn't it supposed to be an empowered, educated choice?  How is it educated if all you read about are orgasmic births, rainbows and unicorns?

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#17 of 30 Old 08-22-2011, 08:56 AM
 
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I KNOW that a breech baby should have their arms pulled down so they don't get stuck and suffocate. I got that from reading books, not horror stories.

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#18 of 30 Old 08-22-2011, 07:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blessedwithboys View Post

Yikes, so much for "hands of the breech".  Pulling and tugging, really?  Shame on those EMTs! 

 

Yes, CP sounds very likely.  I'm sorry that this happened to you.  Many women who choose UP/UC make sure to educate themselves on optimal positioning and practices for delivering a breech baby.  If you are planning on ever UCing again in the future, please read Ina May's Guide several times before labor.

 

Best wishes to you and yours.

 

Totally agree with this.

 

Breech babies can be delivered, but you need to prepare yourself, relax, DO NOT TOUCH THE BABY, and give birth preferrably in a standing position.

 

Sorry about your baby, if this story is indeed true.
 

 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Almi View Post

Totally agree with this.

 

Breech babies can be delivered, but you need to prepare yourself, relax, DO NOT TOUCH THE BABY, and give birth preferrably in a standing position.

 

.....and what do you suggest should be done if all the measures you suggested have failed? And the baby is STILL stuck? Blueish / purple feet that no longer move dangling from the mom?

 

 



 


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#20 of 30 Old 08-22-2011, 11:01 PM
 
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Prayers for your son.


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#21 of 30 Old 08-23-2011, 03:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow_mandala View Post




Umm, you clearly are not aware of how much most of us educate ourselves, but horror stories rarely prove useful.  Education is not necessarily about instilling fear and then having to figure out what to do if you were in the same situation.  This is certainly one way of going about it, but a more effective way is to learn about the different facets of breech births and how to approach them.  Fear does not have to predicate educated, empowered awareness and choice.  In fact, when we come from a place of allowance, it is easier to see other methods of going about special birth issues (like breech) than if you were to approach from simply the fear mentality.



Agreed. Aren't fear tactics what stear us away from birthing in a hospital anyway? So why do it with something that is supposed to be the most natural route to go?

 

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#22 of 30 Old 08-23-2011, 06:28 AM
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Dislodging a stuck breech baby is a complicated, difficult, and painful obstetric maneuver. It sounds like that is possibly what the EMT did. It really doesn't matter if the op had been aware of it in advance or not. You can't perform obstetric maneuvers on yourself. I don't know what emergency dispatch suggested, but it sounds like they tried to walk her dh through it.

Vaginal delivery of a footling breech baby is incredibly risky. Unlike with some other complications, there is not a simple way to resolve the situation. The OP's situation sounds painful and heart-wrenching. Playing Monday-morning quarterback is one way to try to defuse the fear surrounding a possibility. But no matter how many books you have read, if your baby presents feet first, death or serious complications are likely. This situation could not have been resolved by a more thorough reading of Emergency Childbirth.

To the op, I hope your son continues to improve and your family is reunited soon.
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#23 of 30 Old 08-23-2011, 07:12 AM
 
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It sounds like she just came here to fear monger. Never posted before the birth story?? And it seems there are a lot of non UCers who came to comment on this as well to do more fear mongering.

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#24 of 30 Old 08-23-2011, 07:35 AM
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I'm inclined to give posters the benefit of the doubt until they ask for donations.

In any case, her description of the complications that result from footling breech during a UC is spot on. In a hospital, staff would prep for a section the second they saw a foot, but you could well still end up with complications if the cord was compressed by the baby's position. There was a story a while back about a woman who had a footling breech and could do nothing but watch helplessly until the feet stopped moving.

Skepticism shouldn't be an excuse for social aggression. Queen Bee/"shouldn't you have known better" stuff really hurts people.
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#25 of 30 Old 08-23-2011, 07:48 AM
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This

Quote:
makes you look like an uncaring idiot

 

is veiled namecalling. Please edit to remove that and keep your post polite and respectful.

 

This is a birth story posted in UC. Per our stated guidelines:

 

 

 

Quote:
The Unassisted Childbirth (UC) board is a forum of support, respectful requests for information and sharing of ideas and experiences. While we will not restrict discussions only to those who birth without professional attendants, we will actively discourage individuals from posting with no sincere interest in exploring UC. Proselytizing against UC will not be permitted. Controversial subjects of discussion related to UC can be found elsewhere on the internet, and we invite you to seek out other venues for that purpose.

While we wish to support women throughout the birthing process, we cannot host threads seeking advice during unassisted labor. Labor announcement threads are fine, but any posts seeking advice will be removed. We encourage you to share your birth narrative afterwards in MDC's Birth Stories subforum.

 

I am moving this to the Birth Stories where it can be posted to in a more neutral atmosphere. Let's please focus posting on support for klamp and her family. 


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#26 of 30 Old 08-23-2011, 09:29 AM
 
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Quote:
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Well, if you were trying NOT to be rude, you clearly failed. In her initial post she describes her partner trying to help dislodge the baby, not that that matters any. He's not a healthcare professional, neither is she. THAT is why there are health care professionals, to help in cases like this. Criticising a woman who nearly lost their child in childbirth and then lost them afterward to CPS is bad form and makes you look like an uncaring idiot. And then to offer your "prayers" after such a rude and blaming post, is worse. I'm sure that's all this woman needs is hear how you think she's an uneducated idiot who caused her baby's trauma. Really. It's awesome that you're so "helpful". Also, before you claim to be so educated, you might want to look up how to spell "manual". HTH!



When a woman chooses UC, she is taking responsibility of her child's life, instead of putting it in the life of a healthcare professional. That being said, it's the mother and father's responsibility to educate themselves about the birthing process.

 

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Quote:
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When a woman chooses UC, she is taking responsibility of her child's life, instead of putting it in the life of a healthcare professional. That being said, it's the mother and father's responsibility to educate themselves about the birthing process.

 



Thank you, you put it in better words than I can.

 


Katie - Mama to E1 (7, c/s), E2 (5, c/s), E3 (3, VBA2C), E4 (1, UC)
...expecting another princess in March/April

 

Questions about VBAC? PM me!

ICAN Chapter Leader

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#28 of 30 Old 08-23-2011, 10:40 AM
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IMO, saying that the OP should have been more educated, or should have not panicked is also not helpful at this point.  How the OP's birth could have been changed might be a useful discussion if this were some kind of seminar, but it's not - it's a story in the Birth Stories forum.  

 

I'm all for education and a calm approach to the birthing process. This baby is here now.  

 

Welcome to the world Tyson Noah!  I'm sorry you had such a rough start.  

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#29 of 30 Old 08-23-2011, 10:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stik View Post

IMO, saying that the OP should have been more educated, or should have not panicked is also not helpful at this point.  How the OP's birth could have been changed might be a useful discussion if this were some kind of seminar, but it's not - it's a story in the Birth Stories forum.  

 

I'm all for education and a calm approach to the birthing process. This baby is here now.  

 

Welcome to the world Tyson Noah!  I'm sorry you had such a rough start.  


Well, I've certainly learned from her terrifying experience. I can't say that I would have kept it together myself, but this also means more research on maneuvers for UC breech birthing will be done on mine and my DH's part. If I discovered I had a footling breech, I'd probably call EMT's to stand by. I hope Tyson makes a full recovery, for sure.
 

 

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#30 of 30 Old 08-23-2011, 12:06 PM
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I posted above: 

 

 

 

Quote:
Let's please focus posting on support for klamp and her family. 

 

Since that is not being done and the posting is still circling in debate and argument I am closing this and issuing warnings. 

 

 


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