Asher Emmett's unassisted birth story- updated with pictures - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 19 Old 09-01-2011, 09:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
VeganEmma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 235
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

5 months later and I finally posted my story 

 


Let me start from the beginning. My desire for an Unassisted birth came with my first pregnancy when I read a book by Laura Shanley called Unassisted Birth. After that I constantly researched how to do it and what I would need. I was living with my uncle at the time and knew he would never let me do it, but I still kept it in my heart. When I was pregnant with Dylan, my first, I felt great but I never connected with my doctors. I dreamed of having an Unassisted childbirth (UC), but that never happened and it was a letdown. 
 

070.jpg

Dylan’s birth was unfulfilling. I left me feeling violated from being mistreated, insecure because of the opposition I faced, tired from fighting with doctors and nurses, scared to be true to my beliefs, sad because of the invasive test I consented to after originally denying because they wouldn’t let me leave the hospital until I had it done, and angry from what was stolen from me. 
071.jpg

**************************************** 
yourepregnant.jpg
But then I became pregnant shortly after turned Dylan 1 years old. It was unplanned, but from the moment I got a positive pregnancy test I knew it was a chance to make things right. I knew I would never go to the doctor’s office or get an ultrasound. I calculated my due date based on very regular periods. I measured my fundal height a few times in the second trimester and saw things were on track. I tried to listen for a heartbeat with a stethoscope but could never hear one. I kept my pregnancy a secret from my family for 7 months and even then only told them because they came to visit me and I could no longer hide it. This pregnancy was my little secret. I barely told it to myself, I never felt pregnant. I felt like this baby was a part of my body. I never nested and barely had a name picked out (for the wrong gender at that!). I just listened to my body. I relaxed, ate, and exercised at my own desire. I never weighed or did any tests. 
from my album: Pregnancy36 weeks w/ #25 comments | add comment



My estimated Due date was March 14. That day came and went. Ten days later I was still pregnant and feeling great. I was serene and happy knowing my baby would come when it was ready. On March 24 I decided to use a coupon I had for maternity photos before it expired and then hung out with my friend Courtney.


When I came home later, laying in bed, I was nursing my son when I felt a POP. I immediately thought my water broke, but when I got up there was nothing. When I went to pee I had pink tinged discharge and felt like things would happen pretty soon- either the next couple of hours or days. My husband Tim was at work so I called him and told him what happened. He wanted to know if he should come home and I said I’ll call him if I feel close. I felt no rush or fear. I laid around home on the computer and had some contractions but nothing that led me to believe that labor was imminent. That night I went to bed and slept comfortably. 
When I woke up in the morning I was rested and surprised I didn’t go into labor that night. Tim went to work and the day continued as normal. The contractions were getting stronger and closer together. By 5-6pm I knew birth was getting close because I had to stop during contractions. I called Tim and he told me he would be home soon- he never believes me when I tell him that I’m in labor (like Dylan’s birth). By 8pm I was more adamant that he come home. By 9pm he was home and helped with our toddler while I labored. Around 10-11 pm my father in law came over with his girlfriend and I told Tim to make them leave. Dylan finally went to bed and I knew things were getting serious. The contractions were intense, I almost couldn’t handle them. I went into the bath and relaxed during contractions- I felt like I was in transition and that I would have the baby soon- I started to get sleepy. After 30-45 minutes I got out to find my husband asleep. I woke him up and labored on my hands in knees with my head in his lap. That position made me have the most intense pressure and I begged my husband to take me to the hospital for drugs (even though I didn’t really want that), I got emotional and whiney saying, “when is it going to be over???”. I knew it was going to be soon from how I was acting but nothing was happening. 
My husband and I went into the guest room and I lay on the bed with blankets. I rested there for what felt like hours. Holding my husband’s hand while he counted, “1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10” over and over again during contractions. I don’t know why but it was so comforting and if he stopped the contractions got too intense to handle. 
It must have been around 3 am when I felt like I needed to stand up to make this baby come. So I stood, supported by my husband, and labored for a few contractions. Nothing happened and I was getting so tired. My water had not broken yet and I could feel that it was causing the baby from being born. I told Tim to get me a wooden kabob skewer from the kitchen so I could pop my water bag. He said no the baby will come naturally and I said okay. I was even more determined to give birth soon so we went to the bathroom and I labored squatting over the toilet. I kept having the same feeling that I had been having for hours. I KNEW I was fully dilated but the contractions weren’t moving the baby into the birth canal and I thought it was because my water was still not broken. I was so tired too. I laid in bed for a while more with my husband by my side. 
Time passed and the night sky was getting lighter and I knew that the sun would be up soon. I also knew that my toddler would be awake screaming for his mother and boobie- which I could NOT give him in my state of labor and there was nobody here to help out when Dylan woke up. So I told Tim to get me the skewer again and he again said no. This time I told him that midwives do it, the water is keeping the baby from being born, I am tired, and Dylan would be awake very soon. This baby had to be born. He agreed and went to the kitchen while I laid in bed. 
When he came back with the skewer I stood up and tried laboring thorough a few contractions while holding the wooden stick almost as a threat to my bag of waters. When nothing happened I decided to take action. I gently inserted the stick a few inches in and nothing happened. I was using the flat end of the skewer so I turned it around and used the pointy side. Again, I gently inserted a few inches and then took it out. A thin line of water started leaking out so Tim and I went to the bathroom. While I was wondering if this would help my next contraction moved the baby into the birth canal. I was squatting over the toilet trying to breathe to keep that baby from coming out too fast, but my body was on autopilot. My body was involuntarily pushing. I stuck my finger in and felt the baby’s head and told my husband. The next contraction my body did all the work and I felt the burning sensation commonly referred to as the ‘ring of fire’. I relaxed my whole body as the head came out. The baby turned inside of me and then shot out into my husband’s waiting hands. The baby gave a surprised cry and then relaxed when it realized that it was OKAY and not falling to its death. Tim handed me the baby and my first thought was, “Holy shit. Baby. Did it.”. I started talking to my baby and just looking at it. I didn’t even think to look at the gender when my husband said, “another boy!”. I was in shock, it took me a second to register and then I said, “huh??” and looked to see the little balls and penis. I was happy but thought that the baby was a girl. Tim had picked out a boy name and I loved it- we named him Asher (with no middle name yet) and then looked at the clock- he was born at 6:55 am on March 26, 2011.


221451_216353338390504_6848696_o.jpg

 

221451_216353345057170_1816855_o.jpg
I held my new little baby covered in vernix while I waited for my placenta to come out. He was perfect and beautiful. He was so relaxed, just laying in my arms- nobody whisking him away. The first person to touch him was his daddy and then his mommy. He was so aware and peaceful. And I was so relieved and grateful for it all to be over. 
 

205548_216353341723837_6408694_n.jpg

 

221451_216353348390503_5345496_o.jpg
10-15 minutes later my placenta slid out into a bowl and then about an hour after the birth when the cord was white and not pulsing anymore we tied the umbilical cord off and Tim cut it. 
I was ecstatic, but mostly tired. As we were walking into our bedroom my toddler woke up and got out of bed. We introduced him to his new brother, but he really just wanted some boobie. So I rinsed off and put on a pad for the blood and tandem nursed them both. 

204875_216354368390401_6630987_o.jpg



Asher fell asleep and I showered and cleaned up while Tim and Asher slept. I was still on an adrenaline high so I cut up my placenta into chunks and put it in ice cube trays for smoothies later. 

 

222482_216354375057067_5935818_n.jpg

204875_216354381723733_696045_o.jpg



Later we weighed Asher with a fish scale with a scarf tied to it. Asher weighed 8lbs 0oz and was 21 inches long. 
While my birth wasn’t perfect or orgasmic it was empowering. It was hard work and it made me stronger. It left me feeling secure, joyful, amazed, unstoppable, loving, and fulfilled. It made me trust and love my husband even more. He was there for me when I needed him and supported me. When I think of my birth 3 months later it still brightens my day, makes me smile inside and out, makes me feel like an amazing strong woman, and blissfully happy. It has healed me from my first birth experience and THAT is what birth is really all about! 
 

 


222482_216354378390400_8115040_n.jpg
 

 

Asher 2 years later with his brother

934627_642625762429924_276943360_n.jpg

PreggoInLove likes this.
VeganEmma is offline  
#2 of 19 Old 09-02-2011, 08:21 AM
 
goldenwillow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In the trees
Posts: 1,125
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Absolutely beautiful.  Thank you for sharing.


'09   
goldenwillow is offline  
#3 of 19 Old 09-02-2011, 09:20 PM
 
greenmama66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 561
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Awesome! I too had my baby over the toilet LOL and my body just took over/pushed him out and he weighed 8 pounds after he passed mec (which he did shortly after he was born) congrats!!

greenmama66 is offline  
#4 of 19 Old 09-03-2011, 12:53 PM
 
Almi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: North Dakota, U.S.
Posts: 427
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Lovely!

Almi is offline  
#5 of 19 Old 09-03-2011, 02:32 PM
 
IwannaBanRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Belgrade, MT
Posts: 2,354
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I can only pray for an experience as good as this!

IwannaBanRN is offline  
#6 of 19 Old 09-05-2011, 07:27 PM
 
sara-on-the-lake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 95
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

What an awesome story mama!  You had a wonderful birth, I LOLed about the skewer, you knew what you needed to do.  smile.gif  Your pics are awesome, you have a beautiful family!  Many blessings and thank you for sharing!

sara-on-the-lake is offline  
#7 of 19 Old 09-05-2011, 09:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
VeganEmma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 235
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by sara-on-the-lake View Post

What an awesome story mama!  You had a wonderful birth, I LOLed about the skewer, you knew what you needed to do.  smile.gif  Your pics are awesome, you have a beautiful family!  Many blessings and thank you for sharing!



thank you I am blessed :)

VeganEmma is offline  
#8 of 19 Old 09-06-2011, 11:43 AM
 
gitanamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: High desert or Peruvian coast
Posts: 521
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

What a beautiful, inspiring story! And I love the pictures. You looked so calm and serene--what a wonderful demonstration that birth doesn't have to be the hysterical "crisis" that it is so often portrayed as. Blessings to you and your beautiful babes. 


~may all beings be free from suffering~
gitanamama is offline  
#9 of 19 Old 09-06-2011, 11:58 AM
 
stellabluz's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: California
Posts: 357
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Wow what a story! Amazing how well a good birth can heal! Good job for creating that for yourself!

stellabluz is offline  
#10 of 19 Old 09-08-2011, 11:50 AM
 
justKate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Gloucester Point, VA
Posts: 3,568
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

How beautiful!  Thank you so much for sharing your story mama!  And I love the name Asher Emmet. love.gif


justKate is offline  
#11 of 19 Old 10-01-2011, 01:07 AM
 
xzaviers_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Bellevue, WA
Posts: 209
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I never get tired of reading your birth story.  :)

Oh yeah... and have I mentioned how much I hate you for looking so ridiculously amazing, while sitting on the bathroom floor with a placenta/umbilical cord hanging out of your body?  blowkiss.gif

 

~Jaime


Xzavier - 9 REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif    Julien - 5  modifiedartist.gif   Jayce - 3  moon.gif    Jaxon - 18mos  jog.gif

 

Hoping for a babygirl.gif in November!

xzaviers_mama is offline  
#12 of 19 Old 10-02-2011, 07:13 PM
 
coffeegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: a glaxy far, far away
Posts: 839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I usually only lurk in the UC and BS forums, but I just saw your story and pictures. I'm really glad that everything turned out ok with both mother and baby. But I have to say I'm a little shocked to read that you used "wooden kabob skewer from the kitchen" to break your own water. Is that truly a safe thing to do? Not harshing on you, mama. Just a little shocked at that, I guess. And thinking maybe there should be a "please don't try this at home!" disclaimer here for other mamas? redface.gif

But anyhow. My sincere congratulations to you and your family....And your baby is beautiful. smile.gif

caffix.gif
coffeegirl is offline  
#13 of 19 Old 10-03-2011, 10:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
VeganEmma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 235
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by xzaviers_mama View Post

I never get tired of reading your birth story.  :)

Oh yeah... and have I mentioned how much I hate you for looking so ridiculously amazing, while sitting on the bathroom floor with a placenta/umbilical cord hanging out of your body?  blowkiss.gif

 

~Jaime


LOL I know fancy picture of me with a cord coming out of my vag, right?!!? I freaking wish you lived near me so we could hang out, we could do an unassisted birth joy.gif

 

VeganEmma is offline  
#14 of 19 Old 10-03-2011, 10:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
VeganEmma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 235
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeegirl View Post

I usually only lurk in the UC and BS forums, but I just saw your story and pictures. I'm really glad that everything turned out ok with both mother and baby. But I have to say I'm a little shocked to read that you used "wooden kabob skewer from the kitchen" to break your own water. Is that truly a safe thing to do? Not harshing on you, mama. Just a little shocked at that, I guess. And thinking maybe there should be a "please don't try this at home!" disclaimer here for other mamas? redface.gif
But anyhow. My sincere congratulations to you and your family....And your baby is beautiful. smile.gif


its safe for a midwife to do it to me, but not me to do it to my own body? I don't tell others what to do, I just did what I felt I had to do. Every birth is unique. But thank you! I love looking at my beautiful baby smile.gif

VeganEmma is offline  
#15 of 19 Old 10-04-2011, 12:20 PM
 
xzaviers_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Bellevue, WA
Posts: 209
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganEmma View Post

LOL I know fancy picture of me with a cord coming out of my vag, right?!!? I freaking wish you lived near me so we could hang out, we could do an unassisted birth joy.gif

 


Hahaha... every time I see that picture, it amazes me how gorgeous you look!

 

And seriously... could you guys get to Washington in the next week or so?  Our DHs could entertain all of our boys, while you stick a kebob up my cooter!  LOL... I would totally wind up having to do that, btw.  My water has never broken on it's own... no matter how much I push.  Amniotic sacs of steel!!!

 


Xzavier - 9 REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif    Julien - 5  modifiedartist.gif   Jayce - 3  moon.gif    Jaxon - 18mos  jog.gif

 

Hoping for a babygirl.gif in November!

xzaviers_mama is offline  
#16 of 19 Old 10-04-2011, 01:06 PM
 
MeTooMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Kentucky USA
Posts: 31
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Such a wonderful journey! Truly inspiring! Thanks for sharing, mama! I love stories about UC. It brings back memories of my own.

MeTooMama is offline  
#17 of 19 Old 10-30-2011, 02:30 PM
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 56
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

wow


Mama to Chu born July 2010

Excitedly expecting somebody new in August 2012

eh bien is offline  
#18 of 19 Old 01-12-2012, 04:55 PM
 
ChristSavesAll's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 729
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh this story reminds me of when I was in labor with dd#2, I kept trying so hard to get my thumb and finger in there to break my water! I also felt that the water was slowing down her birth, instead I waited it out for another hour or so, shoot if only I'd thought "hmmm, wooden skewer" LOL


Nichole, wife to Kris SAHM to Timothy : :10-11-03, Hosanna , Seraphim 8-17-08 : caught by Grandma! Faith 1-4-10 : Caught by Daddy!
ChristSavesAll is offline  
#19 of 19 Old 07-04-2013, 02:09 PM
 
tabitha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: berkeley, ca
Posts: 2,412
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wonderful birth story! Thànk you for sharing it.

My last two were UCs and I have broken my own water. Not with a skewer but with my thumb and forefinger. It felt like the thing to do, like you wrote. One of the most amazing things about UCing was how I changed from someone who would have been afraid to do any self care to someone who actively birthed my babies, comfortable checking my own dilation, feeling my son kick with his legs as he crowned... I love UC!joy.gif

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
tabitha is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off