Shaylee's Birth Story
I was preparing myself for a VBAC, but it wasn't meant to be. I was due August 6th, but my body was doing nothing in terms of getting ready to give birth. I had an appointment August 9th for an assesment, but it still wasn't looking good. The OB gave me an appointment for August 12th saying if I didn't go into labour on my own by then, they would do a c-section. We went in and there wasn't a free OR room all day nor would there of been a bed/room anywhere for us, so they sent us home until the next day.
So we go in at 8am the next morning and they have me ready to go down by 9. Then the waiting game began. Around 11am, the OB came in to check me out. I had been having contractions for a while, which were getting worse. I wasn't dilating, effacing or in "real" labour, but enough for it to be really hard. The baby was still really high. He checked my incision and it seemed to be getting weaker as the contractions were worsening. He said he would try to push to get me in soon as he was afraid of a rupture.
Finally around 1:30 they said they could take me in around 2, so we get me ready to go down and we walk to the OR. I get into the OR and find out they can't do a spinal or epidural as they don't have a needle long enough (I am very overweight) so they'll have to put me to sleep. I was so devastated; I just bawled my head off the whole time they were prepping me. They let DH, who had just scrubbed up, in long enough to tell him the bad news. I felt so vulnerable and scared at that point. I had been put to sleep many times in my life but it has always been a traumatic experience. I was upset we would not be able to witness the birth, that I would go 2 to 3 hours without seeing the baby, that DH couldn't be a part of it, that I would have to go through the horrible recovery and so many other things.
They then gave me the mask and I was panicing so much. I was so scared I would not wake up. Next thing I know I feel like I had died and came back with just an ounce of life in me. I could not talk or move and was told I had a baby girl who weighed 8lbs and 8oz at 2:26pm. It was awful not being able to feel joy. I then just focused on trying to get over the awful feeling by forcing myself to try to move and talk so I would be able to see my little girl sooner. When I was able to see the clock, it was 4pm. When I was able to move, they gave me a popsicle and I started asking to go back. I wasn't able to until it was about 4:45. I had barely got in the room and got to hold my baby and people were starting to call my room. I was so mad because I could barely talk above a whisper and I just wanted to see my baby so bad.
I was so happy when I finally got to hold her. She was the splitting image of DS and it was just like having him all over again, only it was a girl this time. The feelings of love just flowed through me. I held her and took her to my breast. Much to my surprise she latched right on and nursed so beautfully. I commented it was a treat to nurse and not have it hurt (we had a lot of nursing problems with DS plus it hurt the whole time I was pregnant).
I was told that I had bled a lot more than normal during the surgery and when they opened me up, she had passed meconium (sp?). They had to check her blood sugar a lot the first day but it was always perfect.
For me, recovery was horrible. It hurt so much more than the first time and everything was just horrible. I swore up and down I would not go through that again. I kept thinking how lucky people who had homebirths were and how I wished I could have one. I would love to have a house full of kids, but I can not do it if that is how it has to be done. I tried to be strong so I would be able to go home quicker but that was pointless.
On the third day, I was really hoping we would be able to go home, but they noticed Shaylee was looking rather jaundiced. They tested and her bili levels were high so they had to put her in an incubator with the light on her. The next day it was not much better but they were able to just put a bili blanket on her. I nursed like crazy too. My milk came in on the third day so I'm sure that helped too.
On the fourth day, I was so upset. We had been fortunate to be able to get a private room but they had to move us into a room with other people in it (there are about 11 or 12 beds on the maternity floor but there were only two maternity patients). I had been so depressed about not seeing DS and that when he visited he didn't want much to do with me, then I got diarrhea really bad and was so upset about Shaylee being jaundiced that having to share a room just got me so down. I bawled most of the rest of the day and kept talking to DH about how upset I was. All I could do was talk about how badly I wanted to go home and about how much I missed DS. I felt bad we were so blessed with this beautiful little girl and all I could think about was getting home and getting on with our life as a new family.
After we moved, a lot of what was bothering me seemed to be exasbercated. I felt like I was basically being ignored by the nurses because I'd been through this before and since I was still nursing my toddler, so it seemed they thought I didn't need help. The last time I had any pain medications was 3 days post partum and it wasn't because I didn't ask as I did. I eventually gave up asking, just dealing with the pain as I knew I would be going home with nothing to help.
When we moved, my roommate had a c-section the same day I had but the nurses were in there almost constantly, giving her meds when she wanted, asking if she needed/wanted anything, asking how she felt, offering her this and that. It almost seemed like I was a second thought to them. When I was in my own room on the other side of the ward, it wasn't a big deal but having it go on a few feet a way was pretty depressing. (I feel bad for feeling that way, but just because I'd had a c-section before didn't make it any less of a horrible experience)
The last day we were in was so long. I had packed early that morning with the hopes we would go home even though we had a bad feeling. Fotunately the doctor who was in charge of releasing Shaylee was going away the next day and I think that had a part in it (with DS, they needed the bed, so they released us early). The OB said I was fine to go home a lot earlier but it depended on how Shaylee was. I didn't care why we were released, we were out of there! I scrounged around for someone to bring us home and fortunately dad was able to (DH doesn't drive and our car was up there with our stuff and car seat). I was so glad and grateful to get home!!! I felt even more complete when mom brought DS home. Everything just felt right and were were happy. DS was able to finally nurse and he seemed pretty glad that I had milk again.
Later on, we were going to bed and I had my first tandem nursing experience. It went pretty good, better than I expected. I was laying down with Shaylee across my chest and cradled DS in my left arm. DH took a picture. We went to sleep for a while but around 1am, Shaylee became fussy. This really bothered DS so he started crying, wanting me to hold him. He kept telling me to give the baby to daddy and was really upset. For nearly an hour, we worked to calm both the kids down, taking turns (although DS didn't want anything to do with daddy, so that made it hard). Eventually we all calmed down and went to sleep. Shaylee slept so good. She only got up once more through the night, so I changed and nursed her and back to sleep she went. What a change from DS who wouldn't sleep more than an hour at a time!
Using cloth diapers at home is going pretty good. She's got really chunky legs so none of her newborn covers fit, but the little fitted diapers I made her fit nicely. With two in cloth diapers we're going to have to wash a lot more. She has a really big bum with them but it's so sweet.
DS is handling things better than I expected although he does act out a little, but he's easily calmed down with a little nursing. Shaylee is so precious and just fits so perfectly with us. I can't stop telling her how much we love and adore her (when she's awake that is). I feel so blessed and happy with how things are going right now, especially now that we're home. Although I can't phathom the idea of having another c-section and hate the fact I had to have another one, I am grateful for our wonderful blessing!!
Here's a link to our pictures: http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mve...=/b247&.src=ph