Hayley's Birth- Didn't go as planned. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 01-12-2006, 04:57 PM - Thread Starter
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Here's Hayley Joy's birth story.

I had planned a homebirth. I had the fishy pool, did the hypnobirthing and was fully informed on all possible problems and interventions. I went into labour on Dec 20th (my due date) at 4 in the morning. I stayed at 10mins apart until the 21st around 9 am. I did not sleep in all this time.

My midwife got to the house at 11am on the 21st to do a check. By this point I was 4cm, and the baby had not dropped! The baby was facing sideways and I was suffering from labour in the front and back. By this point I could barely stand from lack of sleep and the pain. We ran out of hot water and I couldn't concentrate enough to do the hypno stuff. I could get rid of the pain in either the front or the back but not both at the same time. My midwife suggested we transfer because she was worried about the back labour and the fact that the baby wasn't in position. I had hubby pack a bag before she got there so off we went to the hospital. Barb (midwife) called an ob to come break the water to see if the baby would drop. She assured me the doc was very open to women's choices and very nice. Well she must have been having a bad day because she treated us like sh*t and was very mean. We got to the hospital at 12, had the gas, and demerol by the time the water was broken. Baby still didn't drop. Was 6cms now. The gas and dem are horrible, they don't work and just make you incredibly stoned. After begging for the epidural I finally got one at 4. The guy doing it was complaining that he had to hurry as he had to be somewhere (xmas party). At some point the ob gave me pit without consent. Shortly thereafter the fetal monitor started noting heart decels. I later found out that they did not double check this with an internal monitor. The ob started pushing emergency c-section because of the decels and she thought that I was taking to long to dilate. I was lucid enough to ask for some kind of verification of decels. So she attempted a fetal blood sample. With broken equipment and 4 attempts, the sample came back inconclusive. By this point the ob was screaming at me, telling me I was going to kill my baby. I was fully dilated, with a lip and the baby was still nowhere near position. We had already decided by this point that the c-section was obviously our destiny so I came to long enough to tell the ob off and agree to the section. My dh did not come into the operating room, he has no issues with blood and such, but couldn't handle seeing me in that state. I broke down in the operating room and a very nice pediatirican stroked my forehead and calmed me down. My midwife stayed with me throughout. The baby came out screaming. I asked about the sex and they told me it was a girl! I started laughing because we had been calling the baby "him" during the last trimester. In the end they could find no evidence of oxygen deprivation, or heart decels. Hayley came out perfectly healthy. She did have a weird ridge on the side of her head, which makes everyone think that her head was presenting wrong which prevented her from dropping. After they checked her out I got to see her, but was too out of it to do much so I had my midwife take her out to my dh. She stayed with him until I was wheeled out to recovery. I breastfed her as soon as I could feel my arms. She was very calm and alert. Hayley weighed 7lbs at birth and was 19" long. We stayed in the hospital until Christmas eve.

The recovery was okay. 3 wks later, my stomache is still very tender. The "wound" is almost invisible. The ob used stitches so it has healed very well. I definitely would not elect to have a c-section. It wasn't pleasant. I felt most of what happened during the surgery. It wasn't painless by any means.

I will attempt a vbac the next time (no problems with that here). Although it will be in hospital. I no longer fear a hospital birth as my midwife did not push anything on me, everything that was done was with my consent, with the exception of the pit and antibiotics for strep which the OB ordered without asking.

At this point I kinda wonder if I had declined to transfer for pain relief, if it would have turned out to be a vaginal birth. Somehow I doubt it. I do not doubt my body's ability to give birth, but I think Hayley (for whatever reason) just wasn't cooperating. The only thing that annoys me about this experience is that my bro in law insisted throughout my pregnancy that I'd end up with a c-section. I hate that I proved him right. I did prove him wrong on the breastfeeding and cloth diapering though, those are both going great.

So that's the story. Hayley is 3 weeks old. She is a nursing champ and is up 1lb 5oz from her birth weight. The babymoon has been lovely. I would do it all again in a second.

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#2 of 9 Old 01-12-2006, 07:06 PM
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Congratulations on the arrival of your daughter!!

Mama to a teen and tween
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#3 of 9 Old 01-13-2006, 02:13 AM
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Wow! I am impressed by your postive attitude. It is wonderful that you can see that you were empowered to make decisions regarding your birth, and that your baby had a design of her own. I am sorry that some of the hospital staff didn't treat you well. That is a shame. I am glad that you had the support of your midwife and husband (and the pediatrician). I know what you mean about being bummed by your brother's prediciton. My grandfater, a Dr. (who early in his career did OB) thought I was foolish to want a homebirth with midwives, and later lectured me when it turned out I had to transfer after pushing for 7 hours at home, and then took a long time to heal from an incorectlly sutured tear (that the Dr., not midwife did). Anyway...what matters is that you have a great attitude, and a healthy little girl. Plus, it's great that you will pursue a VBAC next time. Check out the book, The VBAC Companion, by Diane Korte
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#4 of 9 Old 01-13-2006, 02:45 AM
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I had a homebirth transfer with my oldest too for head malpresentation that we could not (for the life of all of us) get to change. We did not end up with a cesarean, but just barely. My second birth was an easy homebirth - so some babies just do things their way... but it doesn't mean every time will be like that. That said, a healthy and happy congrats to all of you!

Mama to 5 amazing little people, and a surrogate mama to another.
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#5 of 9 Old 01-14-2006, 03:49 PM
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I too had a c-section and planned for a natural, drug-free hospital birth. Ds just was OP and I was in So much pain, I was trying everything. Ended up asking for the epidural and once I got that everything went downhill and ended up with the c-section. It is great you have a positive attitude--I think people who haven't had a c really can;t understand the loss associated with it. I hope you have a successful VBAC in the future--I too am planning one whenever that day comes. Thanks for the inspiration--I like your thinking that this was your destiny. Sometimes God has other plans.
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#6 of 9 Old 02-04-2006, 09:14 PM
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I am glad that you did not have a disappointing birth, and that things for the most part went well. Healthy mama and healthy baby, what could be more wonderful?
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#7 of 9 Old 02-06-2006, 02:40 AM
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for the great attitude! Congrats!
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#8 of 9 Old 02-13-2006, 06:11 PM
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You should be really proud of yourself. Yes, a relatively painfree natural childbirth is nice for its own sake but the reason I am considering using hypnosis for my second baby (6/14/06 EDD) is to try and avoid the rough start to the breastfeeding relationship after a moderately difficult back labor delivery with an epidural that worked on my right side but not my left.

So good for you that you didn't let a difficult, medicated delivery get in the way of breastfeeding your baby.
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#9 of 9 Old 02-25-2006, 12:43 AM
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It can be so scary when there's a risk of baby being in dire trouble...your birth sounds very similar to my daughter's birth - and you are so right about the gas (i didnt have demerol though) - it just doenst work. I ended up simply being delirious and going blue and scaring the bejesis out of dh instead.

Birth will be what it decides to be - I'm sure that the section was definetley the safest choice for your situation. It's such a hard decision to make, even if you know it's best for everyone.

And I'm glad you got to prove your brother in law about breastfeeding and cloth diapering! Congrats!
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