Getting over traumatic experience - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 06-25-2006, 08:52 PM - Thread Starter
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I had my beautiful baby girl on May 5th. I was eleven days late and was finally happy when my water broke ( so was my husband). We rushed to the hospital around 9:30am and she was born at 8:32pm. I ended up having an epidural and did not feel any pain as soon as I was given the epidural. The baby was not coming out after a few hours of pushing, so our Dr. said because time was going by and nothing was progressing that I might need a C-section, but before they would proceed with a C-section they were going to try to use forceps. My Dr. was not going to perform the forceps or the C-section but another Dr. My husband was really upset because the Dr. that was going to perform the procedures came and asked "what do you want forceps or C-section?!?!" My husband proceeded to tell her that he was not a Doctor and he wanted to know what she would recomended. She said "forceps or C-section?!?! ... I will give you 5 minutes and you decided" She stormed out of the room as if we had upset her. We turned to our Dr. and she recommended forceps and if that didn't work a C-section would have to occur. I could not believe that the other Dr would talk to someone like that, especially during labour. At this point I was so worried about our daughter that I just wanted her to come. We decided to go foward with forceps, thank God during my second push our baby was finally out and the pediatrician in the room confirmed that the baby was fine and weighed 7lbs 14oz. I was not aware that I had had an episiotomy till I saw the Dr stitching me up. It took a long time to stitch me up, maybe 30min. During this time the rude Dr started swearing, she kept saying "shit" during the entire time. I asked her is there was something wrong, she didn't answer me, but my Dr said to me "we are almost done" but she looked worried. When that traumatic experience was finally over with I found a lot of swelling. We finally got home it took 2 weeks for the swelling to go away. A week later after I started noticing pus coming out of my cut I went to my family Dr. (who was not present during my labour) and he could not believe was had happened to me. He said "Oh my God this is such a horrible episiotomy that was performed on you" I had not been stitched up properly, infact I was completly butchered, My Dr. believes that I might need reconstructive surgery. My husband my Dr and I were speechless. I told him the name of the Dr that had performed that episiotomy and he said "I know who you are talking about she is the most incompetant Dr and I can't believe that she is still practising. I was given antibiotics and I am still on them. My husband and I came home completly distraught and could not believe what had happened. I felt completly violated. We ended up looking for this Dr online to see if we could find some sort of complaint about her. We found online on CTV.CA (our local news chanel and on our local newspaper) that she was actually being sued by another woman, this Dr had tied this woman's tubes but this woman ended up getting pregnant shortly after. During the first week I was completly sadened. I went from being sad to being mad. We are proceding with a complaint which will be accompanied with a letter by our Dr. I am feeling better but I can't help but feel violated. My husband and family have been very supportive. Along with my family, my daughter are the things that make the days bareable, I think that it could have been worse. I hope all will get better!
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#2 of 4 Old 06-25-2006, 09:16 PM
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I am so sorry! I also had a VERY traumatic birth. I was having a homebirth and ended up going pretty overdue, as well. When I finally did go into labor (I didn't even realize I was in labor !) - and called my midwife, I my contractions were already 90 seconds apart - no kidding) To make a LONG story short.....the cord was short and wrapped twice around my babe's neck, causing his heartrate to go dangerously down. The ambulance was called and I was transported to the hospital on my hands and knees, strapped to a kitchen chair w/ my midwife's arm inside - doing something to keep the cord from being squished. Later I found out that I have some sort of condition where I go into an extended contraction as opposed to multiple contractions so there is never a chance to catch your breath.
My baby was born in the emergency room about a half hour later by vacuum. The c-section team had gone home already and they were on the way back but the baby couldn't have waited that long. When he was born, he was immediately sent by another ambulance to a hospital an hour away that had a nicu and he spent 4 days there.
Anyway, he is perfect now, bigger than average and very healthy - so no noticeable repricutions.
The $%#* ing nurse in the nicu said something to me about how that's why homebirths are stupid - because things like this can happen. Then she tried to force formula on him, wanted to circumsize & tried to vaccinate him w/o my permission.
But, I did want to just share that traumatic births do happen The midwife at the hospital was awesome and I do think that she saved my child's life. My other homebirth midwives did know that we were in an emergency situation and had the common sense to get me to the e-room!
You, on the other hand, sound like you could have a huge lawsuit on your hands! I am so sorry that happened to you! I hope that your baby is doing great and that you deal with this all in a way that makes you feel whole again.
Good thought sent your way!
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#3 of 4 Old 06-25-2006, 11:00 PM
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Emmy_superfly, it may surprise you to know that docs are taught to do episiotomies by example, they watch one, then they DO one! I was shocked when I found that out. Your experience sounds horrid, I hope they get rid of that doctor. No doc should be saying **** while you are on the table like that. On the other hand, aren't you glad you didn't have a section? if she screwed up an episiotomy(probably freaked out and started cutting and cutting) can you imagine what major abdominal surgery would have been like? Hope things go better for you. Get a mirror and see what they did...and find out what normal is supposed to be....There's a thing called the Pink Kit that helps women learn how they are put together...(you can google it for more information.
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#4 of 4 Old 07-01-2006, 03:54 PM
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Emmy_superfly I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. You as well orla. Sounds like lawsuit material to me too emmy. I hope you're able to find peace after such an experience mama.

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