hard, high-risk hospital birth: cascade of interventions/NICU/emotional aftermath - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 49 Old 12-10-2006, 04:47 AM
 
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What an amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing it. Bravo for making it through as you did! YOu are so educated, I believe you did the best for your baby and can't imagine what you escaped with being prepared with your own info.


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#32 of 49 Old 12-10-2006, 07:56 AM
 
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Thank you so much.

I also had planned a birth without intervention, and ended up in teh hospital with a c-section.
The way you described your pain, helped me to put into words how I feel, and you have inspired me to finish writing my own story. All I can do is cry now.

Thank you so much.

~Moose
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#33 of 49 Old 12-10-2006, 08:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ~pi View Post
...The only type 1 diabetic homebirth I ever heard about was a second hand account of a woman who was having her fourth vaginal birth...
You mean this one (post 39)?

It's technically a firsthand account, written by the mother (Meg Scherbatskoy). Also, she had both her third and her fourth at home... the first and second having been preterm and birthed at a freestanding birth center.
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#34 of 49 Old 12-10-2006, 01:28 PM
 
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What a story, mama!! I am so glad that you are both okay and together now. Your little one is absolutely gorgeous!!

Congrats!
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#35 of 49 Old 12-10-2006, 11:19 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by kaylee18 View Post
You mean this one (post 39)?

It's technically a firsthand account, written by the mother (Meg Scherbatskoy). Also, she had both her third and her fourth at home... the first and second having been preterm and birthed at a freestanding birth center.
That's the one, thanks. I couldn't recall the exact details and couldn't find the post again. I forgot that her first babies were preterm, too. I wonder what would have happened if she had gone later, or with her fourth had the whole process been longer than 30 minutes. She was in a similar situation at that point as I was, i.e. homebirth was not allowed for type 1 diabetes, so she was planning for a birth center (not an option here.) And she couldn't get anyone to agree to a homebirth for her first. Frustrating.

It's kind of sad to read my post on that thread from back then. I really believed everyone who told me they were on my side. I was so confident that all my upfront work would pay off and minimize any conflicts at the hospital.

professor & maman de DS1 (6) & DS2 (1)

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#36 of 49 Old 12-11-2006, 12:13 AM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by mary3mama View Post
My first child was born via c/s that I believe to have been pretty unnecessary -- but the cutting into me was not nearly as egregious as forcing me to be apart for him for almost 48 hours after his birth. He's 7 now and healthy, but I believe, still showing scars of those early hours without an understanding of where his mama was.


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I believe your story will help others and I encourage you to share what you have written with your HCP and the hospital you birthed at. It may be naive on my part, but I cannot help but think that If I were your OB and I read what you wrote I would have to reevaluate my decisions and be a smidge more contemplative with future patients.
Thanks for the encouragement. I definitely plan to share it with the people who were involved in my care, although possibly as an appendix to a much shorter letter. The letter (currently drafting) is less personal and talks about my experience in the context of the hospital's stated commitment to evidence-based medicine and patient-centred care.

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I didn't know my rights, I didn't stand up for myself. I had wanted to avoid an IV or at least delay it but they said it was "hospital policy" like it was some kind of law. To top it all off I had little to no support breastfeeding and constant pushing of formula on me until I finally gave up.
I often think that in a way, it can be a lot tougher on mamas with GD, because you have so much less time to prepare. You get hit with a diagnosis right in the home stretch of pregnancy, and before you have time to adjust to the idea, start to assimilate info and make educated decisions, you're coerced into an induction, c/s or ultimately both.

I'm so sorry to hear of your difficulties with breastfeeding. I was very fortunate to have all the practical and emotional support I had. I don't know whether I would have made it through the difficulties otherwise. to the people who made it so hard for you.

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Originally Posted by cathicog View Post
What resources may I look up to find info on type 1 and vaginal birth? TIA
I'm on mat leave from school so don't have access to my library files. What kind of resources are you looking for? A lot of the usual info sheets have statements to the effect that you are likely to be induced because of concerns about risks to the baby, you may have a c/s if your baby is very big, etc. Not incredibly helpful. That 50% stat is an estimate based on a couple of reviews/studies; it has also unscientifically supported by polls in an online group of type 1 women. That's the best I could do to get an overall picture of the state of things.

-----------

Thanks to everyone for the kind words, and I am so glad that some people are finding inspiration to write their own difficult birth stories. Writing this was painful, but ultimately very healing for me.

professor & maman de DS1 (6) & DS2 (1)

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#37 of 49 Old 12-13-2006, 06:16 AM
 
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Wow. You have a beautiful baby. The picture of you and him, right after you got to bring him to your room (I think it said 36 hours after he was born?), was the first picture I clicked on after reading your story. I thought, "that baby is IN LOVE with him mama." The way you're both looking at each other is in absolute unconditional love.

Congratulations to you. And I'm so sorry about all of the negative things that happened during his birth. My first birth didn't go as I had hoped- too many interventions I had not wanted, he was delivered with forceps, almost a c-birth- but although I would have liked to do some things different, I would do it all over again, exactly as it happened, for him. He was worth it.

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope each day brings more healing for you.

Carrie, mama to Jake (4), Lola (2), and Ike (4 months)
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#38 of 49 Old 12-13-2006, 04:19 PM
 
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Wow, thank you for sharing your story I can relate to so much of what you wrote.

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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#39 of 49 Old 12-13-2006, 09:04 PM
 
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What a beautiful sharing...thank you! I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that. Blessings to you and your family.
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#40 of 49 Old 12-16-2006, 01:27 AM
 
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I'm so sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted. I hope you continue to heal and reach a place of peace. Thank you for sharing your story ... your son is beautiful.

Mama to M (7/05) and S (5/08) my surprise !!!
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#41 of 49 Old 09-07-2007, 11:48 AM
 
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I remember you from the little bit I hung around the Mamas with Tye 1 post around our due dates. My son was due around the same time as you were. Reading your story completely swept me in and brought it all back for me. I'm still in tears remembering it all. I could have written so much of what you did. I just didn't have an annoying endo (luckily I was left alone to deal with my sugars, I could get help if I asked, but otherwise it was up to my husband and I). And I didn't end up with an infection. But I spent so much time before my induction working on early induction methods. Did tons of acupuncture, walking, sex, hanging out on my birth ball. I was even in good early labor when I got to the hospital.

But sadly, I too ended up with the amniotomy with lots of meconium. Eventually pitocin and an epidural after hours on unrelenting contractions. After the epi, my labor stalled, my son's head went back up and he started having serious decels, so off to the OR we went.

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I really believed everyone who told me they were on my side. I was so confident that all my upfront work would pay off and minimize any conflicts at the hospital.
I love this sentence, I believed it so much it never crossed my mind I'd be one of THOSE women that had a surgical birth. Ah well, hindsight is 20/20.

Now I'm pregnant again and working hard to have a vbac. I'm still searching for the right provider for me and trying hard to convince a MW in the area to look at MY diabetes, not her knowledge of the disease and see it's not a risk.

Thank you so much for posting your story, I could never write so clearly, but it really was quite healing for me to read and helped me to know I was not alone.
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#42 of 49 Old 09-08-2007, 02:45 AM
 
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This birth story should be required reading for every woman who believes she is smart enough, prepared enough, and supported enough not to fall victim to lies, manipulation, and unwanted interventions for the benefit of the hospital staff. Every woman who thinks she'll be able to advocate effectively for what she wants, while in heavy labor. Every woman who thinks she'll be perfectly decisive and determined and listened to and have her opinions and bodily integrity respected, while in heavy labor.
Thank you so much for posting it.
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#43 of 49 Old 09-11-2007, 10:49 PM
 
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What an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing!

Unschooling Mommy of 3: Lilith (14), Panda (6), and Fox (4)
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#44 of 49 Old 09-11-2007, 11:25 PM - Thread Starter
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Since this is bumped up anyway (hi, txtarheel!) I just want to say that over a year later, I am feeling so much more at peace with everything. Not happy, but at peace. I have had a lot of correspondence back and forth with the hospital and recently received the last of their letters answering my many questions.

I would not choose the same path again, but I definitely learned a lot along the way, and it was a really powerful, humbling experience for me.

In a way, I think having such a difficult time dealing with DS' birth has helped me to be a better mother to him, because I was forced to confront and accept my imperfections and human failings right from day one. I was always such a perfectionist, and thanks partly to this experience, I am learning to be gentler and more empathic with myself and others. It's a really valuable lesson -- maybe that's why it cost me so much.

professor & maman de DS1 (6) & DS2 (1)

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#45 of 49 Old 09-12-2007, 07:38 AM
 
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thanks for sharing your story!

Liv, SAHM of 3 kiddos 

 

 

 

 

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#46 of 49 Old 09-17-2007, 11:31 PM
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Thank you so much for this post.

I think that I'm close to the point you reached last December, but so many of your emotions and reactions rang true with my birth experience, even though we went through different trials. Rather than diabetes, I have a history of past sexual abuse that I shared with my midwife along with my worst nightmare birth scenario - a vacuum extraction. After 34 hours of induction, near abandonment by my midwife, and late decelerations, guess how my son was born last April? In contrast to the sensitivity I had hoped would be provided while facing my most terror inducing birth, the backup doctor did not interact with me at all, used the vaccuum without telling me what he was doing, and performed an episiotomy with no consent. After interviews with my midwife, it appears that the lack of communication with me was out of their fear that I would not cooperate. Instead I was completely retraumatized and have had to seek medical help to cope with the anxiety and fear. What a difference having an opportunity to say "yes" would have been for me when so much of my sexual history has hinged on events when I wasn't given a voice?

The emotional aftermath is so similar to what you describe and I am incredibly comforted by this shared experience. Everyone in my community thinks my midwife is a saint and the hospital is considered one of the best in the state. I've felt in many ways that my reaction to the birth is some personal fault. Thankfully, with the help of a great therapist, I'm working through all of this and getting to the place you seem to be one year later.

Thank you.
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#47 of 49 Old 09-25-2007, 06:17 AM
 
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You have an amazing gift for writing. It's a wonderful tribute to you and yours and I am so glad to have read it. Your ds is beautiful btw.
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#48 of 49 Old 09-28-2007, 01:33 AM
 
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I cried reading your story. You have a true gift for writing.

Marcy, mama to Asher (8 yrs) and Kaia (6 yrs)
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#49 of 49 Old 06-12-2008, 01:11 AM
 
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Thank you so much for posting this. You have no idea how grateful I am for having the privilege of being able to read about your experience and get a peek at your thoughts throught the ordeal and afterwards.

I know that in my PMs to you I must have come as hell bent and damn angry, but I am anything but. I am just totally dejected, stunned and a good deal confused. My educational bacground is in Research & Analysis - I hardly take someone's word for something without checking out all the available options. I am also allergic to the phrase "studies have shown", because I am acutely aware of how easily a study can be bungled just by misapplication of basic math by people who conduct it.

You know why I'm confused? Because after reading the usual medical treatises about pregnancy\labor with Diabetes Type I, I cannot in any way make sense of any of them. For the love of all that's holy, there are studies that contradict themselves on first read. And yet, many doctors\hospitals take those studies on word alone and try to apply some sort of a standard to a process that's as individual as the human beings that participate in it.

I guess my question is, what in the world happened to science?

I have gained more insight into what I was looking for by reading your posts than in the last few weeks of reading medical literature and speaking with those folks who like to call themselves medical professionals. I love your honesty and your general approach to what you went through. Your perspective is great, and the amount of informative content in your posts here is positively stunning.

Thank you for sharing your story here. You have no idea how immensely it helped this wannabe mom.
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