My sweet son's not-so-sweet hospital birth (long) - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 28 Old 01-10-2007, 08:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I no longer want to share this story

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#2 of 28 Old 01-10-2007, 09:03 PM
 
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you really were put through the ringer

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#3 of 28 Old 01-11-2007, 01:47 AM
 
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I'm sorry that your hospital experience was so horrible mama . I hope that with time, you are able to process things and feel more at peace . Congratulations on the birth of your son!

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#4 of 28 Old 01-11-2007, 04:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Shanana View Post
I'm sorry that your hospital experience was so horrible mama . I hope that with time, you are able to process things and feel more at peace . Congratulations on the birth of your son!
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#5 of 28 Old 01-12-2007, 06:26 PM
 
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I would highly suggest EFT.

You can learn to use it for free here

http://www.emofree.com/

OR, better yet, you can work with someone who had the skills to walk you out of that trauma. I highly suggest Rick at Thriving Now.

You can work privately, over the telephone, or you can pay one small price and work in a group setting over the phone over a month.

http://www.thrivingnow.com/for/Healt...gory/Pregnancy

I have worked with EFT with some issues ( intense emotions during my third pregnancy, anger, pain and allergies) and he is amazing. He loves working with pregnant mothers and he is deeply respectful.

One session with him and your whole outlook will change. If you want to e-mail me your phone #, I would be happy to call you and tell you more about it

Good Luck
Hugs
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#6 of 28 Old 01-12-2007, 06:38 PM
 
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Oh I am sobbing over here. to you and your family mama. I can't believe the treatment you got!

Give more**Expect Less
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#7 of 28 Old 01-12-2007, 08:59 PM
 
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Oh, I am so sorry that you were put through this! I've given birth 3 times in a hospital (in Berkeley, CA) and it was nothing like what you write about! Not all hopspitals are like this--I hope you can get the help you need to get beyond this experience. You sound like a really strong mama, thank you for sharing even if it was difficult.


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#8 of 28 Old 04-07-2007, 04:57 PM
 
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#9 of 28 Old 04-12-2007, 01:32 PM
 
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That first nurse should be fired. Actually maybe the whole staff at your hospital. I'm so sorry that your birth and recovery experience was so messed up, I hope that you heal from your trauma soon and go on to have another wonderful pregnancy but with a good birth, too. Don't believe that there is some "balance" between the pregnancy and birth: there is no reason that you can't have BOTH be great. You deserve it.

Mara, mama to two boys born 05/2009 and 04/2011, after four miscarriages. 

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#10 of 28 Old 04-12-2007, 05:04 PM
 
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I am so sorry the experience was so horrible. I had both my babies in hospitals in two different cities and it was nothing like that at all! Congrats on your little bundle of joy.
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#11 of 28 Old 04-17-2007, 04:28 AM
 
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I had been told I was sterile, so when I got pregnant at 34, I was unprepared, to say the least. My doctor was insensitive and hurt me every time I had an examination. When I went into labor she didn't show up, but one of her junior partners did, for the final few minutes. My son's birth time was an estimate, because they were reviving both of us after our near death experience. We were both injured by forceps, and if I had only known I would have pushed for a c-section from the beginning. I had to be given 3 units of blood the following day when I couldn't sit up without passing out, no clue why they didn't do it when I suffered the blood loss. My son had to endure physical therapy to fix an injured muscle in his neck, and he has a permanent pinprick scar by his eye, also from the forceps. I did the whole floating to the ceiling thing, saw them working on my son while my mother insisted she was sure I was dead, and there was no way I could have seen it.

In all we spent 3 days in the hospital, and I spent the first several months too sick to care for him. I now know my pituitary was effectively killed by blood loss, and that is one of the things that contributed to my hypothyroidism, and I'm sure I had postpartum depression, too.

Then, when it hurt so bad to nurse that I gave up, my son's pediatrician figured out he had given me a yeast infection on my nipples, and if I had known I would have been able to nurse successfully. Strangely, though, my milk seemed to make him sick, his health improved greatly after I switched to a no-soy formula.

So I felt like the biggest earth mother failure on the planet.

I wish I'd known about this site when I was pregnant, it might have saved me a bunch of trouble.

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#12 of 28 Old 04-17-2007, 05:18 AM
 
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I'm so sorry you had this experience.

, , , and
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#13 of 28 Old 04-17-2007, 11:35 AM
 
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#14 of 28 Old 04-23-2007, 03:57 PM
 
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Wow I'm so sorry for what you went through!! That is a horrible hospital sounds like.

I have a question, how were you able to squat and get on all fours with the epidural, even before it was turned down?? I couldn't lift my own legs without using my hands. They told me that once I got it I would be very limited with the positions. I'm just curious for next time... Thanks!

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#15 of 28 Old 04-23-2007, 05:56 PM
 
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Ummm, yeah. That hospital needs to be shut down. They wouldn't change your vomit-covered sheets??? That's not considered unsterile???

OMG I would move to another CITY if that was my hospital. BIG HUGS and love to you mama for making it through!
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#16 of 28 Old 04-23-2007, 06:13 PM
 
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You should write a letter to the hospital administrator. I have never heard of such patient abuse as this. If any of those things had happened to me, my hubbie and I would have raised hell.
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#17 of 28 Old 04-23-2007, 07:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you to everyone for your supportive comments. Writing out my birth experience has been very healing for me. I wanted to answer questions:

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood View Post


Wow I'm so sorry for what you went through!! That is a horrible hospital sounds like.

I have a question, how were you able to squat and get on all fours with the epidural, even before it was turned down?? I couldn't lift my own legs without using my hands. They told me that once I got it I would be very limited with the positions. I'm just curious for next time... Thanks!
My movement was limited to the bed and all of the "positions" I was in were very weakly held. The nurses, my husband and my mom were propping me up for everything but the "flat on my back in stirrups" position. Nobody liked the idea of "squatting", but I was getting really frustrated and insisted on it. I managed a very very weak semi-squat near the foot of the bed that didn't last long.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepperdove View Post
Ummm, yeah. That hospital needs to be shut down. They wouldn't change your vomit-covered sheets??? That's not considered unsterile???

OMG I would move to another CITY if that was my hospital. BIG HUGS and love to you mama for making it through!
Actually, we did leave the city (and state) where my son was born. His birth wasn't the only reason we left, but I must admit it was a big factor in our decision. We didn't feel like we'd be safe in an emergency if we were taken to that hospital.

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Originally Posted by philomom View Post
You should write a letter to the hospital administrator. I have never heard of such patient abuse as this. If any of those things had happened to me, my hubbie and I would have raised hell.
I sent a detailed letter along with the "patient satisfaction survey" I received about 2 weeks after my son was born. I never heard anything in response.

Thanks again to everyone who has left comments in this thread. It has helped me tremendously to share this here.
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#18 of 28 Old 04-23-2007, 07:06 PM
 
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Oh, my... I am SO sorry you had to endure that!

~Marie: Mom to DS(17), DS(16), DD(14), DD(10), DD(8) & someone new on the way.
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#19 of 28 Old 04-23-2007, 08:15 PM
 
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congratulations on your dc mama. I am very saddened and disgusted at your treatment in that hospital, actually I'm : !! Is there any way you can get help with healing? It seems to me that this would not happen in a caring, informed environment, you were treated so so badly.I think your natural birth rythyms were thwarted by negativity and downright neglect and so much more. I am in awe at how you managed to get through it all. I hope you will find ways to mend some from this.
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#20 of 28 Old 04-27-2007, 02:13 PM
 
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Verna and BigEyes,

I'm so sorry you had such a rough time with your hospital births.

I'm new to this forum, this is my first post, and I just gave birth to my baby son at the hospital 4 weeks ago. There were good aspects and bad, and if I had to do it again I don't know if I'd choose the hospital or not.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to give birth at the hospital or not. I live in a rural area and the closest hospitals are both an hour and a half away. But I just turned 40, and this is my first child, so my husband and I chose the hospital just in case any thing went wrong. We also got our doctor on recommendation from a friend and we liked him a lot, so the decision was easier to go the traditional route.

The labor happened really quickly, basically my son was almost born in the car, but we made it. The hospital staff was mostly pretty curt and cold, all business because everything was so rushed, but a few of them were nice and caring. The doctor even yelled at me to "stop screaming right now," he said, like you mentioned Verna, not to make noise because that gets the baby out faster. And our son had made his meconium poop, plus he had the cord wrapped around his neck 3 times, so he needed to get out quickly.

They took the baby right away to clean the poop off him, which I also hadn't wanted (I wanted to hold him right away), but I guess that was necessary. When he got his shots he was also taken away for quite a while, but I was exhausted so I didn't mind too much, tho I would have preferred to have him close.

Like one of you ladies said, the nurses were really a bother during the first night, coming in over and over to wake us to see if he was nursing, even tho I was holding him to my breast the whole time but he was just sleeping.

I had an episiotomy, which I totally didn't want and which is still sore. The one thing that still steams me up is that no one told me how to care for my episiotomy. The release instructions (2 days after birth) told me some things but not much. The nurses had signed that for several times indicating that they had given me my instructions before release, but no one had. I have to wonder if that's why I'm still in pain. Some of the stitches seemed to come undone early, maybe because I didn't have all the care info. Anyway, it's finally feeling better, so that's good.

One of the best things about the hospital was the lactation support (they had a whole channel dedicated to breast feeding on the TV, and I saw 3 different lactation specialists. (The fact that they all told me something different is another matter, but I used something from everyone.) It also was nice to have the constant care of the nurses, someone to clean and feed us (the food wasn't bad at all), and just not to have to worry about anything but getting to know the baby.

Well, I've rambled on enough. Nice to "meet" you all.
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#21 of 28 Old 04-27-2007, 08:36 PM
 
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"delivery room again, or I can't get out of bed and somebody's laughing at me. Sometimes I feel like I "payed" for my wonderful pregnancy with a bad birth experience, and I wonder if I could ever enjoy another pregnancy."

Your transition into motherhood was traumatic, and it is certainly in no way your fault for having a nice pregnancy. You did not receive the full support you needed at the hospital. It is very disturbing to be in contact with unsupportive people during this precious yet vulnerable time of labor, delivery and recovery.

I had a difficult and very painful (episiotomy, major tearing) hospital birth with my first child after an easy pregnancy and a desire for a natural birth. I couldn't imagine ever going through the first experience again, and for a long time could not even consider having another child. However, three years later my second child was born at home, and her birth was absolutely wonderful and had nothing in common with the first experience.

Take care of yourself as you continue to take care of your little one.
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#22 of 28 Old 05-09-2007, 02:28 PM
 
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OMG Mama! I am sorry you had to go through that. Your story was riveting for me to read. Thanks for sharing with us.
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#23 of 28 Old 11-18-2007, 07:26 AM
 
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i just read the story, but not all the comments and i just wanted to give you some ((hugs))
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#24 of 28 Old 11-18-2007, 02:55 PM
 
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Its so hard to get over negative feelings regarding your birth experience. I posted my birth story for some healing too. We are here for you mama.

Vanessa belly.gif, wife to Kev , mama to Byron (5) wild.gif and Billie (2) and  due in June
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#25 of 28 Old 12-07-2007, 12:30 AM
 
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Couldn't read w/o offering (((hugs))). It truly sucks when we get the treatment like this at hospitals.

I'm so sorry for what happened. Please allow yourself to grieve & heal.

Peace,
Sus

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#26 of 28 Old 12-09-2007, 10:25 PM
 
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Here's to healing.
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#27 of 28 Old 12-13-2007, 05:02 AM
 
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oh boy do i feel for you. i had a pretty bad experience at a hospital. in fact, i would like to write my birth story, 2 months later. i was too exhausted and in pain to do it before. i am just glad that in the end i have a beautiful, healthy baby and finally i am not in pain! (besides my sore nipples)
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#28 of 28 Old 12-13-2007, 06:06 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VernaBloom View Post
I cried everytime I went to the bathroom. Not just from pain, but also from the realization that I was never, ever going to be the same "down there". Maybe I had been silly in expecting to escape the hospital with my perineum intact, but I felt so angry about having had an episiotomy
I am sorry you had such a traumatic birth experience. It is so sad... But I really wanted to say, you will be fine "down there". I had an episiotomy too, the first time. It takes time to heal, but it does heal and a moment will come where you will not feel it anymore at all. If you are in any pain right now, in any normal situation or during intercourse, then you should see a good woman chiro. I found one who did an "internal" adjustment to me, she explained to me that some of my internal organs had become "misplaced" during the pregnancy and the birth and she had to readjust by inserting her fingers in my vagina and exerting pressure in some specific points. It was not painful at all, she was very gentle. I went to see her perhaps three times and then all was well. You can PM any time if you would like to know more. I hope you have family and friends around, it is a shame your mom lives so far. Do not hesitate to use all the help you can get and if there is any option for you to see a therapist, by all means do, also. It is super important that you have support while healing from all this trauma.
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