I know the story wasn't meant to be positive, and I'm so, so, sorry that you had to go through that horrible experience. But as someone who was bullied into getting a gyno exam when I really, really didn't want one... Your story was empowering.
Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdad and mom to DS 24 months, and DD 8 months! .
I hate it that the medical community as a whole has brainwashed society into believing that you cant safely birth your baby anywhere but in their hospital. I wish hospital horror stories got out more than they do, usually you only hear about homebirth horror stories or how the dr "saved" the mom and or baby's life.
You are not alone in the trauma you experienced, or the hospitals retaliation towards you. With ds I was induced at the hospital (UCI in anaheim ca) and they still retaliated against me. First of all I can somewhat relate in regards to being birth raped, Uci is a learning hospital and I had at least 10 different people shoving their hand inside me constantly. I decided when I was pushing that I was not comfortable pushing they way they wanted you know the hold your breath for ten seconds? I stopped doing that and only pushed when I felt ready and as long as I was comfortable with. Ds was born in 38 min so not bad for an 18yo first timer with an epi. Anyways they took him for 5 hours for absolutely no reason and told my sister that it was a transitional period and would freak out if he saw me... Instead they kept him in the nursery while he cried for me for 5 hours, they wouldn't even bring him to me to bf :. Then when I finally got him and tried bfing the nurse told me I couldn't bf because my nipples were too small, she then stated she was going to get him a bottle, I told her no and she accused me of starving him.:
Needless to say I am now a homebirther and just had a UC recently. Wow what a difference it makes!
I pray that you have found some peace and will keep your family in my prayers. BTW how is dd now? She is what, 5?
This was all because you tempted to have a HB??? That is crazy. I am so glad that you sued the &^&_&*) that put your family through that horror.....
Your story was very empowering, and informative......hopefully it will help someone else that may end up in a similar situation someday.
Good Luck and Peace to your family Mama!!
My first birth ended up with a forced c/s. Or more like I just couldn't fight it anymore... I was also "forced" and cocered into doing things that I felt unnecessary and I fought it to the point of doctors screaming at me, that they were the doctors and I was stupid and I was going to kill my baby...pushing my BP to very dangerous levels. I was also told they would get a court order if I didn't comply...but at the time I was drugged and starved and I just gave up. Towards the end I was like a little lamb being led around and I'm still bitter that I wasn't stronger. I went to this hospital for my prenatal care and when I developed HBP they did nothing and I ended up with a 34w NICU baby and a c-section that could have been prevented. Funny others mention about the medical records, because all of my prental records from about 28wks on were "missing." Around the time my BP was a little high but manageable.
I was planning on the possibility of a transfer to just go in fighting..but now after reading I realize that I need to have a plan and to also cover my own butt. I like the suggestion of a tape recorder and also keeping a close eye on the records. Anyway I didn't mean to make this about me, but you have really helped me. Thank you so much!
If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.
I am so proud though of the strength you had to fight and bring attention to how violated you were.
I hope everyone is doing better now. :
You definitely are one super strong woman and a great example for your DD. She will grow up being very proud of her mama.
Laura~ wife to my stuntman, Stig, mama to Gavin Rutgar (4) and now Wyatt Andreas (1) and 2 little .
Thank you so much for sharing your story. :
Lovin my sweet babygirl 3-17-10 and expecting another in March!
i do have to say that, if i was you, i never would have put myself in the position of being pregnant. The chance for flashback and a chronic state of terror being an almost positive outcome.
i wanted to know, what did you and your husband and midwife WANT to have happen when you transferred, because i think that would be part of healing.
and also, what was their defense???
me+him for 15 yrs, welcomed our little one march 25th, 2010.