Bradley Method Birth gone Terribly wrong-in need of support - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 59 Old 11-16-2008, 01:58 AM
 
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I agree with those that say your body did not fail you. You got bad care. I'm so sorry Best wishes to you for your next birth and congratulations on the sweet, precious baby you had.
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#32 of 59 Old 11-16-2008, 01:59 AM
 
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I am so sorry - if my CNM practiced at a hospital I would think we both used the same one. I'm not going to rewrite my birth story - it is on down the page a bit, starts out with: Pregnant again after 5 months...
I, too, am healing and still have nightmares and intrusive thoughts that I have to take by the reins.
Three things that I did learn from my not so pleasant birth experience: Not all midwives are Ina May Gaskin. Some people are just not honest, are pushy and are really self-absorbed (and it doesn't bother them to be that way). AND - I DO have a right to say NO and GET OUT!
We WILL get through this because we ARE strong women, great moms, and have wonderful husbands and babies that need us to be our old selves.
HUgs to you, Mama!
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#33 of 59 Old 11-16-2008, 02:13 AM
 
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your body wasnt wrong and it didnt need the interventions I am sorry that the MW out and out lied to you and scared you into doing things that caused your ds distress and ended in a c section.

 
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#34 of 59 Old 11-16-2008, 03:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much for the support, ladies! It is wonderful to have a community like this where you all understand.
Cathicog: What's funny about my admission to the hospital is that my water broke at about 4:20am and I didn't even call until the cx were about 10 minutes apart (it was about a 30 min drive). I told them my water had broken and they said to come to the midwife office (rather than going to LD??). I went and got there around noon. They were all on lunch. I had to stand around knocking on the door for about 15 minutes with water POURING down my legs before someone came to the door and she said "what are you doing here?" I said "they told me to come here!" and she walked me straight over to my room where I stood for 10 more minutes until someone came in and when the nurse left I had to call after her and ask her to bring me a gown! Then the NMW came in and chastised me for not calling and coming in as soon as my water broke. I can only imagine if I had been there all day.
Here's a lovely list of the things I asked about and suggested that were immediately shot down as ineffective or not a possibility:
getting in the shower
getting in the tub (I wanted a waterbirth-which they knew)
walking to speed labor
standing
squatting
sitting in a chair
giving the baby more time before pit
all of these things were met with a condescending response about being inneffective, not possible and downright ignorant.

I will never give birth in a hospital again.
Thanks to the WHO pub I linked to earlier I know about FHR and normal L&D and if a provider tries to push me again she will leave our home and DH and I will be fully prepared for UC (which I'm considering anyway).

inaweofmommyhood: I read your birthstory and it was so shocking and terrible that I didn't know how to respond. I'm so sorry that happened to you and it really did ring bells for me. I think you and I were very similar on the day we gave birth. I just didn't know and I had someone bossing me around. I encourage you to read the WHO pub I linked to earlier and at least we both learned to stand up for ourselves and our babies.

Thanks again Mamas
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#35 of 59 Old 11-16-2008, 09:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GoddessKristie View Post
Then the NMW came in and chastised me for not calling and coming in as soon as my water broke. I can only imagine if I had been there all day.
Chastising a grown woman as if she were an errant 3 year old, especially for something like this, is unprofessional and manipulative. I am sorry you went thru that!
Quote:
Here's a lovely list of the things I asked about and suggested that were immediately shot down as ineffective or not a possibility:
getting in the shower
getting in the tub (I wanted a waterbirth-which they knew)
walking to speed labor
standing
squatting
sitting in a chair
giving the baby more time before pit
all of these things were met with a condescending response about being inneffective, not possible and downright ignorant.
Those were the very things, that in another practice, would have been encouraged and the very things that should have been done...I am so sorry you went thru this. i wish there were a way to determine which NMW practices were holistic, evidenced based, and which were not. But only word of mouth can pass that along. [/quote]

Quote:
I will never give birth in a hospital again.
There is a place for hospital birth, but it shouldn't be the norm, and certainly shouldn't be as pro-surgery as they are.
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#36 of 59 Old 11-16-2008, 05:12 PM
 
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First of all, congratulations on your little one!!!

I'm so sorry you had such a horrible birth experience. Your story brought back my memory of DS1's birth. I hope you can come to terms with it soon... you'll never forget, but try to focus on the good things..that's whay I do. I went on to have a wonderful second birth which has helped.. I hope you can too!!

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#37 of 59 Old 11-17-2008, 04:02 PM
 
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Here's hoping you get the birth you want,

next go round. Your heart sure shows in your writing.

Kelli, Upstate NY mama, dh FarmBoy, raising 6:, his, mine, and ours.

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#38 of 59 Old 11-17-2008, 04:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you everyone! Your supportive responses are very healing. I cannot even express..
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#39 of 59 Old 04-22-2009, 05:59 PM
 
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I am very late to this thread, but need some help with the abbreviations. Can you fill me in? thanks. I am sorry you had such a horrible experience. I hope you get the birth youu want next time, which may, God willing have already ocurred since I'm writing almost two years after the events.... S.
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#40 of 59 Old 04-22-2009, 07:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for your well wishes
I'm glad to know that people are still reading and hopefully learning from my story. I have not yet had another birth, but I will most certainly post about it when I do!
I'll try to catch all the abbreviations for you:
PTSD= Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
NMW= Nurse Midwife
GBS= Group B Strep
FHR= Fetal Heart Rate
SIL= Sister In-law
WHO= World Health Organization
DH= Dear Husband
IV= (just kidding )
If I missed any please let me know. I tried to catch them all.
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#41 of 59 Old 05-21-2009, 03:07 AM
 
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Since lots of folks check out the birth stories sections and this thread is STILL getting bumped, would you consider changing the title? It is pretty clear that the Bradley Method did not fail you, your midwife and choice of facility did. In fact when you mention what you were doing in labor with Bradley techniques they were working just fine. As a Bradley instructor, I would not want you birth to scare people off the instruction. My classes talk about the downward slope of intervention and I share two of my birth stories where I had 4 and 5 days with ruptured membranes, no antibiotics and a laaaaaate start to contractions. Both healthy beautiful babies. Title suggestion: Bait and Switch: a midwife in name only!!!
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#42 of 59 Old 05-21-2009, 03:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by 3daughters View Post
It sounds to me like your nurse midwife AND childbirth educator failed you. Bradley teaches couples not to come to the hospital until contractions are very strong and close together. If you had had this knowledge you may have chosen to ignore the hospital's advice and stayed home until later and may have avoided a lot of the interventions that led to the c/s.

Enjoy your baby boy!
All that above.
My Bradley births were awesome. Sounds like you needed better caregivers.
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#43 of 59 Old 05-21-2009, 05:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by philomom View Post
All that above.
My Bradley births were awesome. Sounds like you needed better caregivers.
It was, indeed a failure of my caregivers. I was 40 minutes from the hospital I was birthing at so I waited until my contractions were within 30 minutes of each other before I headed in. Even then I met my SIL in town and ended up taking closer to 70 minutes to get there. By that time my contractions were closer to 10 minutes apart. I felt this was a good time to arrive, but the midwife freaked about me not getting there sooner. I'm not sure what she was so worried about, but I felt a lot of guilt during the birth and for a couple months afterward. I know now that I should not have.
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#44 of 59 Old 05-21-2009, 05:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama View Post
Since lots of folks check out the birth stories sections and this thread is STILL getting bumped, would you consider changing the title? It is pretty clear that the Bradley Method did not fail you, your midwife and choice of facility did. In fact when you mention what you were doing in labor with Bradley techniques they were working just fine. As a Bradley instructor, I would not want you birth to scare people off the instruction. My classes talk about the downward slope of intervention and I share two of my birth stories where I had 4 and 5 days with ruptured membranes, no antibiotics and a laaaaaate start to contractions. Both healthy beautiful babies. Title suggestion: Bait and Switch: a midwife in name only!!!
I understand your conscern. However, the fact that I was expecting a Bradley birth is central to the story. It was indeed a birth that was meant to be Bradley that went terribly wrong. You said yourself that it is very clear that it was not the Bradley Method that failed me.
Perhaps your sudents would benefit from reading an actual account of how the cascade of interventions can play out. While training in The Bradley Method I was led to believe that my every wish would be granted. That a midwife would listen to me and help me achieve the birth I wanted. It would have benefited me to know that sometimes midwives pressure you into things they know you don't want to do, even when you insist. I would have felt more empowered if I had known that they sometimes use scare tactics to get you to do what covers their butts the best-even when they know months in advance what you want and have your birth plan in their posession.
Perhaps other potential Bradley students would be as well.
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#45 of 59 Old 05-21-2009, 05:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama View Post
Since lots of folks check out the birth stories sections and this thread is STILL getting bumped, would you consider changing the title? It is pretty clear that the Bradley Method did not fail you, your midwife and choice of facility did. In fact when you mention what you were doing in labor with Bradley techniques they were working just fine. As a Bradley instructor, I would not want you birth to scare people off the instruction. My classes talk about the downward slope of intervention and I share two of my birth stories where I had 4 and 5 days with ruptured membranes, no antibiotics and a laaaaaate start to contractions. Both healthy beautiful babies. Title suggestion: Bait and Switch: a midwife in name only!!!
Once a thread has been up for awhile, you can't edit the title. Maybe she could update the first post?

Danielle, fabric artist, mama to Eleanor 5/05 and Charlotte James 09-26-09
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#46 of 59 Old 05-22-2009, 01:33 AM
 
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So sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please know as all the other women who've posted replies...its not your fault! When I was interviewing the women for my birth stories documentary I heard so many stories similar to yours.

The hospital is not a place interested in helping women deliver babies vaginally. It is too labor, time intensive, and not lucrative enough for them to help moms deliver naturally so their interventions (pitocin, epidurals, fetal heart monitors) are all geared for the convenience of the nurses and doctors.

Your strapped to a monitor, given pitocin which makes labor unbearable, then you need an epidural which stalls labor, then more pitocin to get labor going again, and wow...baby becomes distress, then remarkably you end up with an "emergency" C-section. Thank god for the doctors & nurses right. The fact is if they hadn't intervened in your labor process at all you'd have almost definitely delivered naturally.

Again, this is not your fault. With the Bradley method they suggest you move around, use a birth ball, get in water, rock, eat, try to completely relax during the contraction so the body can open up you cervix. It doesn't sound like you were able to do any of these things during you labor, so perhaps it was not the Bradley method that failed you but again the hospital system which stacks the cards against mothers delivering vaginally and naturally.

If you are interested in hearing stories of similar experiences to yours you can click on my post (My Natural Birth Documentary...its 10 women talking about this exact same thing.)

I know people always want to dismiss this experience and say, "well at least the baby is healthy that's all that matters." But your feelings of anger, disappointment, and pain are valid and likely need to explored. This is a great place to do that. You can also look into Cranial Sacral release, EMDR, and other support groups.

Good luck and thank you for sharing. Hopefully your courage will give women the strength to seek alternatives like out of hospital births which are women and baby centered.

Huddybear
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#47 of 59 Old 03-03-2010, 11:47 PM
 
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I remember thinking before my first birth that I would be fine as long as my water didn't break early, but then it did. This is the same problem you had. Once that happens, as you know, one is at serious risk for infection, and can no longer afford the luxury of letting the body take its time to do what it needs to do.

Moral of the story-- I think there's not much than can be done when membranes rupture in early labor. I don't think you made any mistakes in what you did.
I learned about the Bradley Method using the book by Susan McCucheon called "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way." In that book, she says that ruptured membranes are NOT a reason to rush to a hospital. According to that book, you have no serious risk for infection unless someone sticks instruments or fingers up your vagina to examine you.

That book recommends that you don't go to the hospital when your water breaks. Stay home, don't stick ANYTHING up your vagina, and labor there until your contractions are 4 minutes apart, 60 seconds long. Then go to the hospital. She says some women take DAYS before their contractions are 4min/60sec. All the women she coached did not suffer from any infections after their membranes ruptured because none of them were exposed to any foreign objects in the vagina after the ruptured membranes.

I'm only 24 weeks along with my first pregnancy, so hopefully my plans for natural childbirth go well. The first poster's experience with the midwife and the threats of imminent fatality if pitocin were not given just make me so mad.
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#48 of 59 Old 01-25-2012, 10:06 PM
 
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I am so sorry to hear that your outcome was not at all what you expected. I had two Bradley births and both were amazingly successful. After reading ur entire story, I would definitely say that it is imperative to take the classes and not just read the book. There is so much to learn. I read Dr. Bradleys book twice and still took the classes...twice. also, after the bag of waters has ruptured, you MUST NOT have vaginal exams. This introduces bacteria. And the antibiotics u were on may not have been effective on the bacteria introduced. It's all a crap shoot when it comea to that stuff...like the flu shot. Anyway....Congrats on ur babies.
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#49 of 59 Old 01-25-2012, 10:10 PM
 
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Yes, please change the title. Bradley is amazing and should be required education for all pregnant women
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#50 of 59 Old 07-21-2012, 08:35 PM
 
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There are many factors to consider here. Just because the fetal heart rate decreases to 120 does not mean fetal distress. normal fetal heart rate is 110-160. If the heart rate drops after a contraction that is very worrisome. So it is not just the fetal heart rate but the situation that it happens in. Yes having a c section stinks but the end result is you have a healthy baby. If you refused to have the c section who knows what the outcome would have been.

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#51 of 59 Old 07-21-2012, 08:36 PM
 
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There are many factors to consider here. Just because the fetal heart rate decreases to 120 does not mean fetal distress. normal fetal heart rate is 110-160. If the heart rate drops after a contraction that is very worrisome. So it is not just the fetal heart rate but the situation that it happens in. Yes having a c section stinks but the end result is you have a healthy baby. If you refused to have the c section who knows what the outcome would have been.

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#52 of 59 Old 07-21-2012, 08:42 PM
 
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There are many more factors to consider when your water breaks early. The cord can fall out of the vagina if the baby's head is not well applied to the cervix. This is bad news for the baby and you will not have time to make it to the hospital w/ a live baby. Hospitals have become more cautious over the years because we have become a sue happy society and they have to cover their butts. Doctors and nurses go into the practice to help people not harm.

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#53 of 59 Old 08-27-2012, 06:19 PM
 
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WOW! While I totally unerstand why hospital births can be daunting, un-natural and may not go as planned, I REALLY dont think the solution is for every nervous woman to have their baby at home! In certain situations home births can be dangerous to mother and baby and may end FAR worse than the stories here. Safety first ladies...birth can cause an enormous amount of stress, especially when the right support and guidence is missing or when things go wrong but losing a baby at home I am sure would be far worse. While home births are a great option for some, hospital births with the right dr/midwife/doula can be a wonderful experience too! Avoiding hospitals is NOT the way to tackle this problem...education, support and advocacy is!

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#54 of 59 Old 12-09-2012, 06:55 PM
 
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I tell my students to bring an I phone to the hospital with them and then "google" anything the Dr. tells you. That way you can get the facts. Here are a few examples:

 

Student told baby was in the 5% in growth and had UGR. Mom had high blood pressure and some abnormal blood tests. No protein in urine. So the OB gave them the "dead baby scare" Said her placenta wasn't working because of the hypertension.

So they opted for the c-section (baby was breach too) his weight was in the normal range or 50%. Huge difference. Her placenta came back "normal" from pathology.

Here are some other "excuses" for induction or c-sections

1. The baby wasn't awake enough (middle of the night?) so he wasn't getting enough oxygen?? duh, right.

2. You have low amniotic fluid? (so what?) u/s are not accurate in measuring amniotic fluid.

3. Said to a mom a week before her due date "your placenta is showing signs of calcification" We have to induce you right now!

 

And in this case here: The midwife basically lied to her because the baby hadn't even entered the birth canal. It's the trip down the canal that can cause the baby to contract the GBS. Your research was correct.

It's always up to the parents to decide ... but any use of drugs or interventions.. changes the course of labor...

Using this backup mode to gather info is not second guessing your health team... It's just that they need to FULLY DISCLOSE ALL THE FACTS and not just the info that builds there case (for intervention) We are fortunate that we live in this day and age when access to information is available.. on the internet. And we can access it from almost anywhere!

I am sorry that you had such a traumatic experience. Glad it worked out with your second birth.

Carolyn Gall AAHCC

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#55 of 59 Old 06-10-2013, 07:54 PM
 
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It certainly is important to make preferences known ahead of time and educate yourself. My understanding is that it is the standard of care for CNMs to start IV antibiotics for GBS positive moms when their water breaks or they enter active labor. Not after 18 hrs, or if there are Signs of infection. Since it is something you find out about at 36-ish weeks, there is time to ask questions if you know to ask, make a plan, etc. People often describe a baby as being "sleepy" when they have a non-reactive heart rate on the monitor. Which,yes, can be a sleep cycle for up to 20 min but after that can be a "non reassuring" fetal heart rate. Low amniotic fluid and a calcified placenta are sort of classic, standard, non-reassuring findings. Of course, most of those babies will be fine, but in some it is a sign of low oxygen/distress and the CNM or OB can't always tell which babies will be pink at their c/s and which will be blue and limp. But if you don't want to buy into the OB/CNM standard of care, then don't see an OB or CNM. Of course, every one deserves to be informed, respected, a member of the decision-making team. And also has the responsibility thus to seek out some education of what to expect. But, if you don't buy into the philosophy of fetal monitoring or ultrasound or interventions that, yes, in retrospect may have not been needed, then don't go to providers who DO believe in those things. All through pregnancy you are making decisions with your provider-- ideally, that is the time to determine if they are a good match and being truthful, respectful, etc. The though of googling in labor sounds stressful, defensive, and a bad situation to be in. It's unfortunate that for some women that is all the have, the support of Dr. Google. I guess I feel pretty Blessed to live in a place where I would imagine it wouldn't come to that.
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#56 of 59 Old 01-15-2014, 02:02 AM
 
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Hello,
I hope you do not get offended by what I will say, it is my honest opinion.
I think you have to focus on keeping yourself and your baby healthy, and let the professionals do their job. You should be happy with a good outcome, and take the time to choose your doctor ahead of time or beginning of pregnancy, and then be confident in them. It is your body and your child, but you will never have the experience of the people who studied and have taken care of hundreds of deliveries. I think this method hurts you by raising the bar so high, that if your delivery is not story book perfect, you are dissapointed, and think it is the drs fault. You very well know that no two people are alike, and delivering a baby is not like baking a cake. It is the method, and the pressure you are creating on yourself that causes that depression. I had one delivery with no anesstesia, and for the next two, i ordered it in advance! Why suffer? Would you let the dentist pull your tooth without anestesia?
My second and third child are as perfect as the first one, however, I enjoyed the delivery, smiled a lot, and was able to see the delivery with a mirror instead of suffering in pain.
Every child is different, and every delivery is different. And drs and midwives are not in this job to trick you, but to help you have a healthy baby, and keep you healthy as well.
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#57 of 59 Old 05-21-2014, 07:45 PM
 
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i get it! I'm 55 years old and had a Bradley Class with my first pregnancy. I was a healthy 22 year old happy mom to be. I lived in Gainesville Florida and went to a teaching hospital for my birth. That was my first mistake I had a fight at every turn before it was over I had a 42 hour labor and every intervention they could do. Well they almost killed me I went into shock went code blue! Well I did survive ! And my baby boy perfect! I understand the ...why did they??.. Why did I?? I did have another baby 3 years later. Then I did the best thing ever!! I taught the Bradley Method for 10 years! I was able to help young parents learn about their options! With every couple and every childbirth experience the process of labor and birth was associated with joy! The sadness I felt when reading your letter brought back pain reminding me that it was a mourning process. What we mourn is what we PICTURED in our minds an experience where it was controlled and perfect. I learned with teaching childbirth classes that every birth was different. Most important when the couple left the hospital with a healthy baby it was perfect. Please feel to contact me,I would love to help you heal with a motherly I've been there.I understand. No one will ever tell you anything that will ever make you feel great about what happened to you. Just know time heals and as you watch your baby grow being a mother will bring you peace. Feeling your pain. Cathy
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#58 of 59 Old 05-21-2014, 09:14 PM
 
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I am sorry for your awful experience!  But congrats to your healthy new addition, he is a couple of weeks older than my 2nd, a boy, born Jan 28th! 

 

You need to quit beating yourself up.  It was not your fault, and unless you are a dr, or midwife yourself, how are we supposed to know everything!  We put ourselves in the hands of these people, and expect them to help guide us in the right direction.  There is nothing you can do now, live and learn.  Take a deep breath, and move on.  I believe firmly in the power of our minds (no not jedi stuff ;))    We, too used the Bradley method, and before I conceived, I was adamant that it would be natural.  Im a farmer, I see the animals do it, so can we.  Pigs have 10+!!  They go into a trance, highly focused.  That is what I based my births on, crazily enough...laugh it up, I know you are :)

 

Luckily, both of my births were very easy, fast and natural.  You bet it hurt.  My first I was strep B +, but we did not know as the test was lost before labor, and because I was not in pain when my water broke at midnight, we did not go in until 9AM that morning after chores, I had to go on antibiotics a few hrs later, as the new test came back.  I had no idea of the implications of this...but our daughter was born at before 7PM.  Then the trouble started...long story short, she was very sick.  Luckily, after our transfer, we were well taken care of, and a week of hard antibiotics and she pulled through.  I was very scared to have another after that.  With my second, I was home alone, hubby was working away.  When I woke up, I knew baby was coming that day.  my grandma was here to help me out with my first, and inside stuff, though.  I did chores, slowly in the morning, then headed to my Dr apt at noon, we're 25 min from town.  I was overdue, so she was ready to induce, so when I got there, and told her babe was coming, she checked, and said don't go home, you're 6 cm!  But, we had to come back, and get our stuff, as my toddler, and gram were staying at the MIL in town.  And, I called hubby and told him, too.  Well, by the time we were back in town, the contractions were pretty strong, so I called my friend to come get me and bring me in, they were like, 5-6 min apart.  We got to the hospital at I think just before 3, and at 3:31, my second was born.  I was strep - this time, but still drilled the doc, and actually asked for antibiotics just incase...

 

The point to my rambling, is we are not our past experiences.  We can move on, if we let ourselves.  Just psyche yourself up for a second, natural birth.  Don't dwell on the should have, would have, could have, of the first.  It ended positively, baby is healthy, you are healthy.  When you catch yourself reliving the past, give your head a shake, take a deep breath, and visualize a second, painfully beautiful vaginal birth!!  You can do it!  Women are strong, (could you imagine if the husbands had to give birth...?!)  Good luck, and congratulations again!

applejuice likes this.

Lucky to be a stay at home mom to 2 babies; Passionate organic farmer, gardener, beekeeper.  Happily teaching our organic kids where food really comes from.  eat.gif
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#59 of 59 Old 05-29-2014, 10:09 PM
 
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Mama, your birth was almost identical to mine with my first except that we had prepared with hypnobabies instead of Bradley. As others have said, you didn't do anything wrong. Their policies were restrictive and pushy. As encouragement, I had a great VBAC two years later with a different group at a different hospital. I labored out of hospital with a doula for SEVEN HOURS (no ROM, no GBS+) ... I'm just a slow laborer. Happy thoughts to you.

Dr-Mom and SAHD extraordinnaire. DD1 (5), DD2 (3), MMC 04/10.
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