My baby was kidnapped to the NICU for 7 days for no reason - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-08-2007, 04:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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He is 9 months old now, and I still can't seem to "get over it".

Jackson was born on November 30, 2006 at 9:36 am after only 5 hours of labor. I wasn't nearly as enlightened about things then as I am now; I was induced, but at my request, as I had a feeling that he needed to come, and I was already a week past my due date, which I knew was correct since I had been charting when I got pregnant.

They broke my water in the hospital and at that time told me that since there was meconium present, NICU would be at the delivery for suctioning and assessing him. He was born vaginally and whisked quickly to the corner of the room where I'm sure he was very aggressively suctioned, etc. His Apgars were 8 and 9. He was totally fine, and they gave him to me soon after. He never left the room, and everything seemed completely normal for the first day of his life...until the nurses started hounding me about giving him formula. I had planned to breastfeed, of course, but they were really pushing the formula, saying he would dehydrate, etc. Well, Jackson had other plans...he refused to drink the formula. ANytime he swallowed any he spit it right back up. He was latching on to me quite well and getting some colostrum. They took him for an x-ray to see if he had any obstruction becuase he kept spitting up the nasty formula. Finally the pediatrician when he came in said for them to stop pushing the formula on him and leave him alone. He also said we could be dc'd the next day, or stay...it was up to me. I decided to stay...but I wish so much I would have just taken my baby and left. On the night of December 1, Jackson was really sleepy and wasn't waking up to nurse. I kept trying to wake him up to nurse but he just wanted to sleep. The nurses kept harassing me and making me strip off his clothes, etc., to try to to nurse him. He was having tons of poops but he had only had a couple of pees. Finally the morning of December 2 the nurse was telling me that she was having a bad feeling about him and that she thought he was getting dehydrated. Another pediatrician came and then they told me they were taking him to the NICU so that he could get IV fluids to rehydrate him so he wouldn't be so sleepy and would nurse, etc. They made it sound like he'd just be gone a couple of hours at the most. They took him away from me and admitted him to the NICU, and dc'd me from the hospital.

The next day they were saying that the results of a blood culture they had taken on him on Dec. 2 had come back positive, but that "luckily" they had already started him on IV antibiotics as was "protocol" before they even had the results of the blood cx back. Then they said there was a quesiton as to if the blood culture was contaminated because of what it was growing, and they took another one, which never grew anything. Also of note, the blood culture that was drawn on 11/30 was negative. They said they would need to keep him for the whole 7 days of antibiotics anyway because they couldn't say for sure whether the positive culture had been contaminated, even though it was quite likely that it had been. THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY BABY. He had never showed any signs of a blood infection! I asked them wouldn't he have had a fever or something other than just spitting up formula. They said no. He was a 7-lb perfectly healthy baby who just didn't want to drink formula. They did a million tests and x-rays on him during those 7 days, and there was nothing wrong with him. They washed out his stomach, they kept sticking tubes down his throat and sucking out his stomach acid. Then they put him under bili lights even though his levels weren't high enough to warrant it on its own, but since he was "already there" they did it anyway. At no time did they ever ask my consent for anything they did to him. I guess once your baby is admitted to NICU they don't have to ask? It breaks my heart writing these words and remembering yet again that my healthy baby was kept in the NICU to sleep in a glass bed away from his mama for those 7 days and nights. I was there as much as I could be but there was no where in the NICU for us to stay, so we would leave at like midnight and come back the next morning. They finally let us take him home on December 9, after torturing him for an entire week for absolutely no erason.
I just wish so much I hadn't been such a scared first time mom and had just taken him home. I was so scared, and once they took him my mom kept telling me to just take him out AMA but one nurse told me they would call CPS and he would be taken from my custody if I tried to take him.

Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to rent a hospital grade pump, and I pumped like crazy until he figured out BF (since he got used to being bottle fed in the NICU, they said he had to be bottle fed EBM so they could make sure how much he was drinking) and now at 9 months old he is a booby fiend who refuses anything and everything except the boob. So that's one thing I did right.

I have such feelings of guilt and powerlessness left over from this experience. Thinking about my newborn baby, laying there scared and confused and crying in that glass bed...everyone tells me I need to just forget it and get over it but I can't. And the hospital and neonatologist who was responsible for holding him hostage there keep sending me ridiculously expensive bills on top of it. I told DH I will never pay them for kidnapping my baby from me. Maybe that is wrong but I don't have the money anyway!

Mama to 2 sweet gorgeous children, a 4-year-old DS and a 1-year-old DD.
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Old 09-08-2007, 12:15 PM
 
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I'm so sorry this happened to you. It IS traumatic and memorable (not in a good way).

I felt traumatized that they took my completely healthy newborn for four hours after she was born -- for NO reason!!! I can truly imagine the anger and sadness and distrust you must feel after being separated for SEVEN WHOLE DAYS!!

My goodness, and you know what attracted me to this thread? That you called it a kidnapping, because that's what it felt like to me as well...

Do we as mothers not have any rights in a hospital? What is wrong with the world that we feel we have to kowtow to their whims because of the fear of having CPS called on us? ARGH!!!!

I recently wrote a post-partum wishlist of sorts on my blog. I was very angry about the post-partum period, for many reasons, which I'm sure you'll be able to figure out if you read it. I felt so much better after writing it. Maybe you can blog about your own experience, let it out in your own way, allow yourself to feel angry over it. Coming here is a great start, and I hope it's helped so far.
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Old 09-08-2007, 12:23 PM
 
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My son was taken for 4.5 days... never asked, never consulted on anything... I was okay with the couple of hours for observation... but you know first hand how that goes...

I am not over it... and I didn't pay either. I could. But I just couldn't do it and I let it go to collections.

My child was taken and I wasn't allowed to hold my breathing, tube free (other than IV) baby until he was 16 hours old.

How do we deal? I don't even know how to begin.

Mother to a wonderful 4 year old boy born March 2007 who was once fuzmalesling.gifbfolderchild.gifdiaper.gif and still familybed1.gif

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Old 09-08-2007, 12:37 PM
 
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I am so very sorry for anyone who has experienced this. It's one reason that hospital birth scares me so much. So much power and so much difference in philosophy.
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:29 PM
 
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I couldn't read these posts and not respond. Many heartfelt to everyone who's gone through this, esp the OP. OMG, I am so, so sorry you and your babe had to go through that, and that you're feeling so much pain. Hats off to those with positive hossy experiences, but those of us who've had not-so-positive to downright horrifying experiences, I can tell you from experience it may take quite some time to heal. It took me right into my most recent pregnancy to forgive myself for my ds's treatment when he was born (hence the well-researched UC). Try and be gentle with yourself, OP, and hug your dc tight. You did the best you could at the time. We all did. You can only change what happens down the line, so know that now and in the future, you know some things that'll help you make sure things go down differently next time. PM me if you need someone to vent to anytime. Peace and healing to you,

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Old 09-08-2007, 01:38 PM
 
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:57 PM
 
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Something similar happened with my daughter when she was born. I still can't totally forgive myself for not protecting her from people who should have been more cautious.
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Old 09-08-2007, 03:11 PM
 
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My daughter needed the NICU, for 23 days, but it was still traumatic. It isn't a natural feeling to be separated from your baby moments after birth and not be allowed to hold her or feed her the way you want. I'm so sorry that it happened to you mama, especially when your son didn't need to be there.

There is a NICU/Preemie forum here at MDC, and I know many moms there have gone through those same feelings. If you have PPD after your birth, the NICU can certainly contribute to it or worsen it. Some parents get PTSD as well from the horrible stresses associated with NICU care.

People who tell you to "get over it" most likely have never BTDT and really don't get it. I think there isn't really a way to deeply understand unless it has happened to you. I hope you can get the support you need here and IRL. For me, talking with a counselor really helped me deal with some of my birth trauma and NICU issues surrounding my youngest daughter's birth.
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Old 09-08-2007, 03:18 PM
 
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mama...it's been 3.5 years since out ordeal and I'm still not over it either!!

They did the same thing to us...with the Abx...we refused them and they went for a court order...we ended up having to get a court order to get DD out of the hospital after they kidnapped her to NICU.

D*mn hospitals think they own your baby!!

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Old 09-08-2007, 04:15 PM
 
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I have found craniosacral therapy to be wonderfully healing, for both me and my daughter (you can search for a practitioner here if you're interested). I'm so sorry this happened to you. s

Mama to M (7/05) and S (5/08) my surprise !!!
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Old 09-09-2007, 12:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lousli View Post
There is a NICU/Preemie forum here at MDC, and I know many moms there have gone through those same feelings. If you have PPD after your birth, the NICU can certainly contribute to it or worsen it. Some parents get PTSD as well from the horrible stresses associated with NICU care.

People who tell you to "get over it" most likely have never BTDT and really don't get it. I think there isn't really a way to deeply understand unless it has happened to you. I hope you can get the support you need here and IRL. For me, talking with a counselor really helped me deal with some of my birth trauma and NICU issues surrounding my youngest daughter's birth.
Thank you to all who replied. I used to have horrible nightmares of standing by the sink in the doorway to the NICU...there was one doorway, that led to a room with a sink and the soap scrub brushes, and then another locked door that they had to buzz you in to...I would have nightmares about scrubbing with those soap brushes, standing there waiting what seemed like an eternity for them to unlock the door so I could see my baby...I always felt so terrified in those moments before the door opened and I could see he was still there.

I wanted to mention too that no one at the hospital gave me any BF support after he was taken, and even before he was taken their "help" consisted of roughly shoving his head into my breast. WHen they took him and dc'd me...not a word about that I should pump, not a word about telling me where the hospital's pumps were...nothing. I went as soon as I was dc'd to buy a PIS, but it didn't work, so the next day at the hospital I asked the NICU nurse about pumping and she gave me the kit to use with the hospital's pumps and then a list of where I could rent hospital-grade pumps for home. But I HAD TO HUNT SOMEONE DOWN AND ASK. You'd think they would have given me this info as a matter of course, they should for any mom with a baby in NICU but obviously, they don't care.

They also kept telling me that I was visiting too much, I should take advantage of not having my baby with me and go home and sleep. Like I could sleep without him? Whenever I was home I just cried...and you all who have experienced this probably know that "cried" does not describe the sounds you make when you are separated from your newborn baby...

Mama to 2 sweet gorgeous children, a 4-year-old DS and a 1-year-old DD.
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Old 09-10-2007, 01:38 PM
 
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DS was taken to the step-down nursery for three days because he was grunting. That's it. Just a little grunting. They put him under an Oxihood even those his blood oxygen came out fine. Plust they had him hooked up to a bunch of monitors and gave him an IV of antibiotics WITHOUT asking me and WITHOUT symptoms. Before I could get out of bed (C-section) I pumped and XH took the colostrum to be cup-fed to DS. After cup-feeding him the colostrum, the nurses then decided to fill him up with formula from a cup, necessitating one solid week of pumping and cup feeding before I could get him to consistently latch because he'd gotten used to being cup fed and was so full he wouldn't wake to nurse. I didn't even find out about the formula until he was over a year old and I got the hospital records. :

Mandy, )O(  Proud mommy of Taylor (1/6/05) jammin.gifand Abigail (4/21/11) slinggirl.gif
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Old 09-10-2007, 05:10 PM
 
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I am so so sorry for what you went through.

Mommy to THREE sweet boys & ONE sweet girl + a newb due in February!  I need a nap. 
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Old 09-10-2007, 06:17 PM
 
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When I was pg w/DS1, a family I knew had twins at 28 or 29 weeks. I took a turn driving the mom to the hospital & visited with her babies with her a couple of times. Those babies would not have survived w/out NICU and I still thought that it was my idea of h*ll on earth. People who tell you to get over it are trying to tell you the sky is green, not blue. Your feelings are right. The sky is blue. It is horrible that your healthy child had to spend a week in that environment and that you were treated with disregard by your "care" providers.

DH remembers being in an isolette after he was born and feeling that he was looking down on himself from above and wanting not to be there. Without discussing his private issues, I do think that experience has affected him his whole life.

Craniosacral therapy could be a very helpful modality for both of you

Blessings.

Here as mama to W (2/04), R (5/06), D (7/09), and J (12/9/12!), co-parenting with my DH

I WOH part-time, am a doula & childbirth educator, home/unschool, and hope we are nearing the center of chaos


 
  

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Old 09-10-2007, 09:53 PM
 
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Oh mama, I am so terribly sorry. I cannot imagine, not for one second, what you went through.

Babies need to be with their mamas, PERIOD. If they also need the NICU, then so be it, but mama should always be number one.

I am appalled at how they treated you.
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Old 09-11-2007, 03:49 AM
 
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I'm so sorry that they did that to you and your baby. I wish there was some way to hold those people accountable for what was truly assault disguised as "care".

~Stephanie )O(

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Old 09-11-2007, 11:55 PM
 
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This is so sad! I am sorry that you and your son had to go though this.

Unschooling Mommy of 3: Lilith (14), Panda (6), and Fox (4)
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Old 09-13-2007, 02:40 AM
 
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I am so very sorry! The very people we are supposed to be able to trust to take care of us are the one takeing advantage of us. It is awefull!

Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

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Old 09-13-2007, 12:31 PM
 
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Oh, I am so sorry. My dd2 - whom we later found out had reflux - also became kind of lethargic two days after the birth. Then, they started threatening formula and bloodwork and tests and immediately I signed up all the papers and was instantly gone from the stupid pediatrician and hospital. But I would not have done that had she been my first, because I would have trusted the doctors. The second time around I trusted my own feelings, that she was somehow uncomfortable and not well there in the hospital and needed some quiet time home with mommy. It is OK to grief and to mourn your babymoon which was spoiled this way. And I hope you have someone to talk this out with as much as you need.
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Old 09-14-2007, 06:10 PM
 
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Aw, I feel for you. My girl was in the NICU for 3-4 days. It was torture and Chris and I often relive it (in our minds) and get saddened. I dont think as a parent you really ever get over the fact your baby had a traumatic experience. Its a hard thing to go through on both sides. hugs to you!
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Old 09-14-2007, 06:49 PM
 
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I'm so sorry! I had a similar thing happen. DD was induced 2 weeks before her due date, and came out with fluid in her lungs. Because I wasn't ready to deliver it took a long time with lots of medical interventions, I ended up spiking a fever. They forced us to send her to the NICU for ABX and fluids. We knew within a day that she was fine and nothing was growing in her culture, but they still wouldn't let her out for the whole course.

Of course we had issues with my milk not coming in, and the thing that breaks my heart is that once before I was discharged, the nicu nurses phoned up to the post partum floor that DD was crying and they would like me to go down. The Nurses NEVER got me. She cried herself to sleep by by herself in a little cold bassinet. And I wonder why she didn't sleep anywhere but on my lap until she was a year old...

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Old 09-15-2007, 08:16 PM
 
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I just posted my birth story and my little girl was perfectly healthy and kidnapped by the NICU as well. I understand how powerless it can make you feel. Fortunately for us, they only kept her there for the 5 days that I was in the hospital recovering from the c-sec. It was also so upsetting for me when they tried to force me to feed my baby formula to "top off" what I was able to pump for her, even though she ate voraciously at my breast each time she was fed and had to be forced to finish the 1 oz bottle b/c the breast had satisfied her so completely. Continue to heal and enjoy little Jackson.
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Old 09-15-2007, 08:25 PM
 
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The title of this thread caught my eye in new posts. I'm so sorry for the mamas who had these experiences.

I'll tell you what...if this ever happens to me, after reading this, I will try demanding my baby be returned to me, but I already know from reading these stories how that will go. My second step will be to tell them "Fine. But be aware that you are now keeping my DC without my consent, and I will not pay one dime for anything you do from this moment forward. Take me to collections, I don't care." I bet that will get their attention.
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Old 09-15-2007, 08:27 PM
 
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I'm so sorry Mama!:

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Originally Posted by MamaBear1976 View Post


My goodness, and you know what attracted me to this thread? That you called it a kidnapping, because that's what it felt like to me as well...

Do we as mothers not have any rights in a hospital? What is wrong with the world that we feel we have to kowtow to their whims because of the fear of having CPS called on us? ARGH!!!!
Exactly my thoughts. And my son was only stolen from me for 2 or so hours, but it was most definitely a "kidnapping', it was unwarranted, and it sent me into depression. Something has got to change, and soon.:

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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Old 09-15-2007, 08:32 PM
 
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The title of this thread caught my eye in new posts. I'm so sorry for the mamas who had these experiences.

I'll tell you what...if this ever happens to me, after reading this, I will try demanding my baby be returned to me, but I already know from reading these stories how that will go. My second step will be to tell them "Fine. But be aware that you are now keeping my DC without my consent, and I will not pay one dime for anything you do from this moment forward. Take me to collections, I don't care." I bet that will get their attention.
They won't care...it is now their baby and if you refuse treatment they will just get a court order for it. (and call CPS) We had to go to court to get our DD released from NICU.

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Old 09-21-2007, 11:34 AM
 
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over 3 yrs later and I still have sad sad feelings about my baby's stay in the special care nursery too:

She was born and healthy pink but after an hour nurses noticed that she had a tiny bit of "sucking" with her chest and said they just needed to bring her to the nursery for a bit to ck things out...
3 hrs later I finally heard back from the nurses that she was put under 100% oxygen and stayed for over 5 days on oxygen because she got dependent on it (duh...take a fresh newborn just getting the knack of breathing 30%O2 room air and stick her under 100%O2 I guess she WOULD have trouble comming back off it )
I wasn't able to nurse her till 5 days PP and the nurses made a big point to tell me that she probably would not latch very well
Well she not only latched PERFECTLY but she drained me so fast that it made her O2 levels drop enough that they made us unlatch for a bit
She's been perfect ever since and we had a beautiful 2yr nursing relationship:

I really HATE how the nicu acts like they OWN our babies and we feel like an outsider needing permission to even SEE our babies
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Old 09-21-2007, 11:46 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your experience. I "almost" had the same thing happen. It wasn't quite as extreme but ds wasn't latching and they were worried he was dehydrated and wouldn't let us leave until they were satisfied he was ok. It was just 1 extra day at the hospital but we felt like we were in jail. I couldn't believe how alarmist they were about everything. The funny thing is that as soon as we got home he latched and everything started going fine.

We had a homebirth the next time and I can't tell you how much better it was. A friend of mine had a very negative exp, then had a homebirth and it was very healing for her. I think she finally got over the negative experience she had the first time around.

The book "Birthing From Within" has exercises how to do art therapy to get over bad birth experiences. I know a lot of people feel very robbed and traumatized from it.

"We shape the clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want" Lao Tzu
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Old 11-03-2007, 01:43 PM
 
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Gosh I am so sorry.

Is there a way to avoid this type of behavior with a birth plan?
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Old 11-03-2007, 02:43 PM
 
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Gosh I am so sorry.

Is there a way to avoid this type of behavior with a birth plan?
No...birth plans are routinely ignored so they can do their protocols. They have yu in a vulnerable position and take full advantage of it.

I think most (not all) L&D nurses and OBs go into another room to laugh about birth plans.

Victim of Birth Rape & Coerced ribboncesarean.gifUnnecesareanribboncesarean.gif What makes people think they can cut up someone else's genitals? nocirc.gif
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Old 11-03-2007, 02:57 PM
 
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I would most certainly need therapy after that kind of experience. "Kidnapped" is a very appropriate term : .

milk donation : mother to Ryan (6), AJ (5), Nate (2), Maia (1) all born at home, I have a kid-friendly food & bento blog, : :
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