Around 9:15 September 7th I woke up gushing... odd – I sort of suspected that today would be the day... strange how we just know these things... I can still hardly believe it myself... especially after the last few weeks!
Rebecca is coming over later to massage me and I still feel pretty good – I know I’d be moving faster if I was up and walking a bit but until I know Mary Ann is at least on her way I’m gonna keep things slowed down a bit.. Just so I know it’s all ok.
Noon: Mary Ann is on her way here. Good too – that way I can get up and get moving around – every time I do that these contractions get much harder and closer – gravity works! But I don’t’ want them to move TOO fast for her to get here – it IS a two hour drive!
Mary Ann arrived around 4ish – Rebecca soon after…. Lisa has been her for a while and Beverly is coming later on... still waiting to call Teri and Patti until a bit later – they have families after all…
Things intensifying but no closer. I know they are working harder but they are being easy on me so I don’t’ mind too much – this is a piece of cake compared to Lili’s birth – but then -you are cooperating and are not in an evil position!
Well it’s 12:04am. You are still not here yet but you are moving right along at getting here... thanks for not hurting me too much now. You may have made it hard throughout the last few months but I’ll trade that for this beautiful gentle labor.
The pool isn’t yet filled and Beverly has come and gone but she will be back – as will Rebecca. Patti and Teri are out chatting and getting sweaters (I’m freezing them out!)
So far so good though….
3:55 am; Napped a bit.. feeling better.. but these have intensified a LOT Hurting more and feeling well – almost ready…
Daddy is filling the pool and the Altar candles are all lit now – I feel this so much more – I can’t believe you will really be here soon…
6:55 am: the sky is lightening, I’m obviously not at school, and Mommy is in the pool. The contractions are more intense, and since she’s in the water, they must REALLY be more intense. Mary Ann is still asleep, as is Lisa. Cindy, Patti, and Teri are all up with the candles lit and coffee in hand. It’s like “The View” all over again. No, it’s more like “Strong Medicine”, with me being the Buddhist male in scrubs. Or maybe it’s like “Scrubs”….no, wait, it’s more like “Strong Medicine”.
Well, its 9:36pm on the 8th, you STILL aren’t here. I get the distinct feeling you needed me to sleep – I have – I even ate and I do feel much better. We all want so badly to see you sweetie – your sister misses being home too. We love you and we want so much for you to be here – I know all is well with you but now we really would like to see your smiling precious face…. You are very dear to us and we are eagerly awaiting your arrival.
Hoping so much to see you soon…………..
It is 3:32 am 9-9-03: You woke me up at 3:06 with contractions loud enough for Mommy to make noise. She’s been moaning ever since, a little bit louder now. She woke up around 2:30 from them. Now she’s in the pool, rocking herself.
At 4:53, Mommy is moaning louder and longer than before. The contractions aren’t any closer together, there is still a nice rest period between, but this is MUCH more productive than before. Mary Ann finally woke up! We didn’t want her to miss out on the fun. I say baby by breakfast (our time, being 10:00-11:00 a.m.).
Oh, wait, you’re here! 10:27 a.m., 9/9/03. 8 lbs. 11 oz., 19 inches long.
Well you are here now and I can hardly believe it… It seems like it took SOOO long for you to get here! Ok it did.
I have to be honest there were times I didn’t think I’d make it due to the length of time you were taking to arrive. It was hard.. SO hard, not because it hurt but because I was so drained of strength by the time you got here.. 49 hours is a long time, even longer when you have had about 10 hours of sleep in a 5 day period. At least I was able to eat until I wanted NOT to eat… if not I would have seriously crashed.
By the time membranes ruptured I had lost 6 pounds all told through the PG. Still finding that hard to believe. Now – who knows – Even just the fluid loss feels like I’ve dropped 20-30 more in the last two days .
Ok gotta go I’ll write more later sweetie – you want to eat – AGAIN!
Wow – it’s already the end of your second full day here.. you are off to slumberland and I am quick to follow – maybe tomorrow I’ll get to the rest of your story….
Well – now for the rest of the story….
Strange how different this was… Membranes ruptured Sunday morning waking me up, like I said before – I wasn’t’ really shocked about this – what DID shock me was the amount of time between that happening and you finally getting here. I never imagined in my wildest imagination that it would take 49 more hours from hat point to get you here…
Between Beverly and Rebecca (massage therapists) “early” labor was more than manageable. It was almost like a party erhe really – with them, Patti and Teri (energy workers/reiki masters), Lisa (our Doula) and Cindy taking pictures.
Monday night I finally realized/decided that you just weren’t’ going to get here with me being so exhausted (I hadn’t slept well Saturday night or even Sunday night) so Daddy and I crashed around 6ish until 9:30 or so, I then got tired again around 11 so crashed again. I woke up (rather you woke me up) around 2:30ish and told Daddy to get the pool ready around 3, I couldn’t stay quiet through the contractions anymore and they were coming on MUCH stronger. I could tell they were more productive and I knew that once I got into that pool I wasn’t getting out unless you were in my arms instead of my belly.
The contractions never really did get to the point where they were “on top of” each other like they had with both Lili and Bobby’s births – ahh the miracle of NOT having pitocin in transition!
At one point Mary Ann suggested that I lift my belly during the contractions as that would help you move down move – I didn’t’ even realize that was where the most intensity was until she suggested it and WOW! Did it feel better to do that! I admit that after an hour of that I was at the point of giving up. I was pissed off at everything, I had lost my voice several hours earlier and could no longer even try to moan as was so productive for me before. I was weaker than I have ever been and no longer had any physical strength left in my muscles or bones. Or so I thought…. Patti and Teri are both such gifted healers – they hear me giving up, they could feel that I was almost over the edge but just needed help to get over that point where I was feeling defeated. They both began to work their majic, healing my muscles and releasing all that I didn’t’ need to complete this miraculous journey. It worked – It had to have – I had no idea what if anything they were doing all I know is that I felt as if the strength of everyone in that room had somehow lifted me above all that I thought I could no longer do and before I knew it Mary Ann informed me that there was only just a tiny anterior lip left on my cervix. BLESSED MOTHER! They were all right! I could do it! That was when I knew I had to switch to all fours position I knew that would eliminate whatever tiny lip was there – even if it didn’t it would feel better and get you out. It was. The next contraction Pushed.. I didn’t’ stop pushing... There was no crowning, no head, then shoulders then body.. there was just you.. in one great heave of strength. Mary Ann told me to stop one moment as the cord was wrapped around you. YOU, not your neck as is most common. It went up and behind your neck and then down under your right arm… What an odd contortion you managed. We figure it was like that because you were OP for so long.
You are so tiny! And perfect… Everything I knew you would be. I don’t even know how to begin describing the way I feel now – and it’s 3 days later. I know inside me that you are the reason that we had a homebirth, and you are the reason it was a water birth… I don’t know why exactly but I believe that you do and someday you will tell me. You affected so many people with your journey and arrival here. Everyone that was here for you is not only singing your praises but it seems is profoundly moved and enamored of you.
You were named for two great Goddesses, I’m sure you know that – you are the one that told us who you are. I think you are quite a balance in the combination – you are Morrigan – the 3 faced Goddess of the Celts you are War, you are magic you are change. You are Brigid – yet another triple aspected Goddess – you are the midwife, you are the bringer of life and you are the Lady of the hearth. I already see all these things in you. In your tiny size and fragile appearance there hides a great strength – One that is never suspected when first seen. The scale said you were 8#11oz at your birth – I don’t’ see it- I have yet to figure out where you have hidden it on your birdlike little body but I feel it in there – hiding in the shadows surprising all of us with its very existence.
You are really just amazing.. I have a much greater appreciation for this entire journey than I knew I could… After losing you once then your return to us after secondary infertility – there were times I doubted you would ever get here… especially once you had decided you were going to get here – once my water broke! In any case.. the journey has been long and sometimes very hard but nonetheless, you are here and ALL of us are lifted up in joy, in strength and in love at your arrival.
I’m sure that there is more to this story… There always is with things like this but meantime… this is all – If more happens to com to mind I will add it….. Until then – you are sleeping peacefully and your sister is playing , not-so-peacefully…
Sleep well my little bird….
This picture was taken by our friend Cindy - the photographer - to me it is a testament to the amount of energy in the room when Morrigan was on her way here. FTR - cindy was standing still andthe flash WAS on - it should have stilled and focused any movement in the area due to the flash and autofocus features on this model of digital camera - fro some reason this is how the pic turned out....
THe image can be found at: http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/4...158c0000001610
And of course a pic of my beautiful girls too.... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/4...c00b0000001610
A link to all of the birth photo's is here:Morrigan's Birth Photo's http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/4...c00b0000001610