Stillborn unassisted birth story of Micah Zachary - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 12:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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posted to my blog on April 15th. Micah was born on April 12th.

Saturday morning @ 2:15 I got up to go to the bathroom, like all
previous days for a month. contractions woke me. went back to bed and
breathed through a bunch. Finally got up @ 4. Walked around house,
made some RRL tea. Tried to wake Albert up unsuccessfully. Tried to
find heartbeat with fetoscope. no luck. But it was hard to get a good
position and such as contractions were only 3 minutes apart pretty much
from the get-go. I tried to check dilation, could not get in there far
enough.

backing up, I did have a mw appt on Thursday morning. With mw #2 shall
we say (mw #1 is a personal friend and very talented) and she
thought she felt head up as did I. I declined the doppler and she was
unsuccessful finding the heartbeat her stethoscope. This was the 2nd
time though so didn't really think much of it. Then she asked about
movement and I stopped in my tracks and said, "The baby hasn't moved
much for a day or two" still didn't think much about it cuz that
sometimes happens at the end of a pregnancy. I declined the U/S and
made appt with mw #1 for the following Tuesday (today actually).

back to the birth,
water broke @ 5ish. TONS of water. never seen that much water. and
all diarrhea colored. Colton was a meconium baby and his was like pea
soup. That's what everyone says about mec water. This was not. AND
the mucus (this is the first time I've said this) also was rather
orangish and not pink or red stained. I'm guess this is because Micah
died a few days before and released his bowels and that what it does as
it ages?

back to the birth again
contractions started feeling pushy, but not great pushing. I kept
saying to myself, "do not actively push, WAIT for your body to do it so
that you KNOW it's at the right time" Well that never happened.
Pushing was really bad. The baby was breech. No hard head to push
against. Contractions kept petering out. Pushing was just NOT good, at
all. Pushed hard as I could from 7-8. Pushing the head (with the arms
both up against it) took three pushes. Albert caught up and put him on
the floor. He did not move at all. He is blue. He really is
BEAUTIFUL. I pick him up and rub his back. James (age 12) puts down
the camera and calls 911. We flick Micah's feet. I blow in his mouth.
I hear gurgling in the lungs. I get the fetoscope, I can not find the
heartbeat. My neighbor (a volunteer EMT) comes over @ 8:06 AM (Micah
born @ 8:00) and tries everything. a few minutes later the ambulance
arrives. They try and try to get him to come around. They load me on
the gurney @ 8:15 or so and put Micah on me. I grab his wrists to find
a pulse. It was a LONG and very painful ride to hospital. Neighbor
stayed in ambulance with me and did chest compression on baby the entire
way. I'm still contracting and am on very bumpy roads. They cut the
cord in ambulance. When we get there they take Micah and wheel me into
ER where they are inserting IV's and crap. Albert stayed @ home for
just a few minutes to clean up the birth mess then gets in van (other
neighbor took all the kids and they ended up scattered throughout the
town of Dannebrog) and ends up with a police escort to hospital @ over
80 mph. While they are still hooking me up to stuff the NICU nurse
comes in and says the were unable to get the baby to breathe. Seconds
later my husband comes in with Micah. It was TERRIBLE. worse moment of
my life. I held it together really well. I *knew* from the moment I
saw him that he was gone. Albert took it harder @ this moment. I never
want him to have to go through this ever! Micah was starting to look
purple and splotchy. I didn't like that. He was so beautiful when he
was blue.

Albert handed him over to a nurse. The dr on call (my mws are in
another city) was putting traction on the cord. I told her to quit it.
"Is it detached?" "no, not yet" "then quit pulling on it!" so I pushed,
hard to get it out. I had just heard about a mom whom this happened to
and she ended up with an inverted uterus and lost half her blood supply!

I never shed a tear until I heard Albert calling the funeral home. That
was about noonish on Saturday. Not been the same since. We are having
Micah cremated. Memorial service is tomorrow @ 10:30. I sure do hope
the county attorney signs the stinkin death certificate. No dr will
since none were here. He (the attorney) could cause a stink and order
an autopsy which we do not want.

Today I have to go to the hospital to get the placenta and the picture
that they took.

My breasts are engorged and I'm emotional.

Micah had curly strawberry hair. I look forward to the resurrection so
I can raise him and nurse him and see how his hair turns out

wife since 1992; mom to: J 7-95; H 5-98; C 2-03; S 4-05; Micah Zachary born still UC 4-08; UM 9-08; due June 2010
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#2 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 12:49 AM
 
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My UC baby was stillborn as well. You can PM me if you need someone t talk to.

I'm a modifiedartist.gif DH is a reading.gif we have 2 angel.gifs, and DS is a rainbow1284.gif baby.gif
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#3 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 12:52 AM
 
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He sounds like a truly beautiful baby. I am so sorry.

Micah Zachary

Wife to a wonderful dh and mom to four beautiful kiddos, dd (3/04):, ds1 (1/06), ds2 (10/08), and ds3 (7/10)
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#4 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 12:56 AM
 
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i am so sorry for your loss mama, i wish you healing and stregth.

Living DAIRY AND GLUTEN FREE for my SPD and Aspergers Little Man.
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#5 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 01:01 AM
 
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*formerly apecaut*, Mom to A, Calliope (stillborn 40 weeks 6/22/07), A and O
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#6 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 01:38 AM
 
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I am so sorry.
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#7 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 01:46 AM
 
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I am so sorry this happened to you. s.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#8 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 01:56 AM
 
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jst sending a big i'm so sorry for your loss.
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#9 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 01:57 AM
 
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Hugs Mama

Micah

Midwifery Student and Mama to 2 daughters and 3 sons.     
ribboncesarean.gif vbac.gifhomebirth.jpg I have given birth a variety of ways and I am thankful for what each one has taught me.

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#10 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 02:02 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss.

Growing babies, fruits, veges, and chickens on our little urban homestead in the frozen north
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#11 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 02:21 AM
 
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I am so sorry for the your and your family's loss. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I wish you strength and healing through all you go through.

Lisa~Was Aspiring Midwife~Now-AAMI Midwifery Student #2020~Mama to Zackery 3/29/96, Drake 9/22/01, and Selina 10/26/03...and here was the link to my new blog
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#12 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 02:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you all. I need them. so tough.

I can't believe that his weight is not in there. 10 pounds 10 ounces.

wife since 1992; mom to: J 7-95; H 5-98; C 2-03; S 4-05; Micah Zachary born still UC 4-08; UM 9-08; due June 2010
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#13 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 03:39 AM
 
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Micah sounds like he was a beautiful and healthy baby. I am very sorry for your loss. Hope you heal and feel better soon

Pari, Student, Job Seeker and mom to K (2006) and A(2011)
 

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#14 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 03:50 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers! May the Lord bring you peace and strength.
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#15 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 09:31 AM
 
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Your family is in my prayers.
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#16 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 10:33 AM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss. :

Mom to DD#1 8/04, nursed 43 months, DD#2 8/06, nursed 21 months and DD#3 9/08, still nursing strong
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#17 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 10:34 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
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#18 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 10:41 AM
 
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o mama I am sorry
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#19 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 10:52 AM
 
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So sorry for your loss mama. He sounds like a beautiful child.

Laura wife to Chris proud mommy to our lil monkey (c-section 6-10-06), our other lil monkey (HBAC 3-08-09) Our next and last son (due by HBAC mid July 2011) and our angel (10-03-04). My middle son has many severe food allergies.

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#20 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 11:10 AM
 
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I am very sorry for your family's loss.
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#21 of 54 Old 06-19-2008, 02:17 PM
 
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Rev. 21:3, 4

I'm so so so so sorry about this. How heartbreaking this must be for you.

fambedsingle2.gifnovaxnocirc.gifHappy to be a mommy and teacher to D fencing.gif, born 1-17-06 via waterbirth.jpg  and A  blahblah.gif, born 10-6-08 with a homebirth.jpghomeschool.gif

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#22 of 54 Old 06-20-2008, 04:23 PM
 
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Micah

Reneé, 34 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 and Arianna 9/06  (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 .  
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#23 of 54 Old 06-20-2008, 04:29 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss.

DS - 5! - adopted at birth after infertility, IUI, and IVF; DD - 4! - surprise pregnancy discovered when DS was 8 months old ; Hoping for another soon (actively TTC ~ 2 years)
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#24 of 54 Old 06-20-2008, 08:32 PM
 
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Healing wishes to you and your family. I'm so sorry.
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#25 of 54 Old 06-20-2008, 10:07 PM
 
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Sending you love, light and courage.

There's a homeopathic remedy for grief and shock called Ignatia/Iamara 30. If and when you're ready, you and anyone who needs it can dissolve 4 pellets under the tongue, 3 times a day, just for a little stabilizing. It has no contraindications, and can just take the edge off without side effects.

Blessings to you, dear one.
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#26 of 54 Old 06-20-2008, 10:18 PM
 
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Sending some light to you and your family.

Happily married and unschooling 5 kiddos Oct. 2004, July, 2007, July, 2009, Oct. 2010, Nov. 2012 uc.jpg

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#27 of 54 Old 06-21-2008, 01:15 AM
 
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He sounds like a stunningly beautiful baby. Handome little angel.

You and your family are in my prayers.
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#28 of 54 Old 06-21-2008, 08:01 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. You chose such a beautiful name. May you find comfort in Him.
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#29 of 54 Old 06-26-2008, 09:01 PM
 
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There are no words.

I'm so very sorry.

We think greenearth.gif  Gentle mama to 3 amazing kiddos. Rainbow.gif Recovering from religion. heartbeat.gif

 

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#30 of 54 Old 06-27-2008, 01:28 AM
 
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Oh I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how hard that must be. Hugs to you mama...

Mama to Nell (11/15/06) and Maggie (10/9/10) . AFTER 2.5 YEARS, I AM AN AUNTIE!!! joy.gifHOORAY TEAR78 and welcome Anika and Brand New Baby Boy!!!!  Circumcision: the more you know, the worse it is; please leave the decision up to your son!

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