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Old 04-23-2011, 10:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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any other young mamas out there, im worried about the flack im going to get and was wondering if anyone else is experiencing the same thing?  i was brought up in a very independent women kinda household where having a baby under 30 seems shunned.  because i dont want to be  neuroscientist, or career women, i must be throwing my life out the window.  i am old fashioned in a funny way, i want to raise a healthy happy medium sized family i want to play music and live in the country, i also want to start now!!

 

 

anyone else under 25, and jumping into mamahood ready excited and informed?!?

 

 

 

im due dec23  so very happy!


 heartbeat.gifMomma to baby boy Ember.babyf.gifborn at home 12/22/11.  Madly loving his daddy Thimble guitar.gif since 6/26/09. 

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Old 04-24-2011, 07:48 AM
 
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Welcome! I had my first at 19. My second at almost 22. I am now 28 and on my way to birthing number 6. I also get looks, comments and people are horrified that I am not going to collage i dont have a "career" I dont "work"

 

Ummm I do have a job and I do work. lol 24/7! I love my kids and I love what I do. The key is to just pass the bean dip and move on. If we were all the same and we all did the same things we would all be very boring!

 

I think its awesome that you know what you want and that is all matters! Congrats on the little one!


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Old 04-24-2011, 09:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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haha! thanks for the pass the bean dip idea, funny way to put it : )    making me hungry! salt is about the only thing i can think of without nausea chasing after me 


 heartbeat.gifMomma to baby boy Ember.babyf.gifborn at home 12/22/11.  Madly loving his daddy Thimble guitar.gif since 6/26/09. 

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Old 04-24-2011, 09:45 AM
 
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I'm 23 and this is number two I always think its weird when people say I'm so young it used to be 30 was old to be having your first . I'm also a Strong person and have a growing independent business . I just got in a argument with a Friend about this she called me white trash for being on number two I think being a loving mom is the best thing in the world and that should be celebrated not shunned. just dont be the strotype young mom that spends alot  of time not paenting her kids be the loveing commited young mom

 

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Old 04-24-2011, 10:57 AM
 
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There is a horrible stero type about women in general. No matter what age we have children its wrong. No matter how many kids we have its wrong. Married, not married, married in a bad relationship.... there is always something wrong. The key is to just not let it get to you. Easier said then done some days. Tink of a standard answer and then move on. People LOVE to ask my husband and I if we know how our chidlren get here, my fav awnser is yep! I am pretty good at it... leaves them feeling slightly shocked lol.

 

Enjoy being a mama and being pregnant and ignore the nay sayers. People who call you white trash and put you down for being a mama arent real friends!


Navy wife, mama of 3 girls, 3 boys, 2 kitties and wanting more. No vax, no circ, trying to live as natural as  we can. We are working on it
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Old 04-24-2011, 11:15 AM
 
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Thank almost6 I really need to sit down and talk to her about how that felt becuse it really hurts Im raseing healthy happy kids and thats what matters

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Old 04-24-2011, 11:47 AM
 
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I dont think people realize that their words can hurt or what they are saying is just not acceptable. I hope you get a chance to talk it over with her and she didnt mean it as it sounded.


Navy wife, mama of 3 girls, 3 boys, 2 kitties and wanting more. No vax, no circ, trying to live as natural as  we can. We are working on it
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Old 04-24-2011, 07:12 PM
 
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Hi!

I totally understand how you feel. I had my first at 19, my second at 21, and I'm pregnant with my third at 25. The thing is, many will always judge on age, regardless if it's people being too old, too young, whatever. My biggest suggestion is to take yourself seriously. Take what you do seriously and others won't question it. I'm a stay at home mom. I went to college, I did that stuff, and I'm chosing NOT to be a career woman. There's nothing wrong with that route, it's just not the way I'm going about my life. I take being a mom SERIOUSLY! I think others respect that I'm not just a teen mom or something, but a strong, family minded woman.


creative crunchy christian wife to J stillheart.gif, Mama to three boys and one baby on the way!  chicken3.gif  doula in training love.gif

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Old 04-24-2011, 07:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i relate with the being confident and strong in my own decision, it sucks when so many people want to do battle with you!  i love just walking away.  im 20 and pregnant with my first little one!  it was planned and took awhile and is very much going in the direction i want! 


 heartbeat.gifMomma to baby boy Ember.babyf.gifborn at home 12/22/11.  Madly loving his daddy Thimble guitar.gif since 6/26/09. 

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Old 04-25-2011, 12:55 PM
 
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Isn't it so annoying that people always think they get to manage our lives? I agree, being strong in the face of *everyone saying it's too soon or your life isn't want they'd prefer, this and that and whatever, is really daunting, frustrating, and hard on the self-esteem. 

I am 26, so not exactly in the young camp anymore, and DH and I have been married for nearly 3 years, but still everyone around me is making their opinions known: we should have a car, we should "own" a house, I ought to have a normal job, we should wait until we're citizens here, we should wait until we have health care coverage, on and on and on. I went to college, like I was "supposed" to, and it took a long time to realize that that regular equation of working for money to buy things just doesn't fit for me. But people just can't understand that.

Anyway, the heart of it is that having babies is right for us, the way we live our lives is right for us, and it's not anyone's business to tell us we're not valuable because we have children (at whatever age) or care for them or live our lives the way we want to. Our lives are for us to live! Power to the mamas!


Maker-mama, joyously loving my boy, Winter Rhys, born 12/2011, and our twins, Wren and Forest, born 4/2014.
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Old 04-25-2011, 02:27 PM
 
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i'm 26 now but I was 20 with my first, 22 with my second, 25 with my 3rd and will be 27 when this one is due.

 

If I go shopping with my youngest only people always assume he is my first. I have had people look when I am out with all 3.Ive had comments " are the all yours?! Your so young"

 

With my second a student midwfe inferred that my kids had different dads.Cuss.gif

Cant wait to be out with 4 ( hopefully)

 


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Old 04-25-2011, 06:35 PM
 
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I'm not in that bracket now...but, I was 23 with DS1 and 25 with DS2 I'll be turning 28 a bit before this one is born though. It's funny because where I live it is normal for "natives" to have babies VERY young, but, those who are moving here from surrounding areas (and my friends from the nearby area I grew up in) have children much later...so I have friends in their early 20's with more kids than me and friends in their 30's who have less than me! Haha!

 

I did hear some of that (with our first) but, it got less and less after he was born and people saw how well we handled things...I think people just get so used to their norms, without realizing things can be done other ways and come out very well!

 

Sometimes I even second guess myself in the fact that all our ducks aren't in a row yet (for example I went through college with babies and now I am trying to start a career with babies and we have no house of our own etc etc) but, I don't really care...our kids can watch us grown and mature and maybe it will be a learning experience - and we are happy! :-)

 

I am happy about the fact that we are going to be young as our kids grow up and get to "keep up" with them more, and then we will have lots of life ahead once they are grown to do our own thing and also enjoy our grandbabies hopefully!

 

 

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Old 05-06-2011, 01:50 PM
 
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I'm 24 with my first and I definitely got some vibes from my dad that he wasn't too sure how he felt.  That was a really awkward phone call.  Everyone else seemed excited.  I haven't told my extended family and I've only told one friend.  She was very excited.  I've been married for 1.5 years.  I have a good job.  I'm excited to be a younger mom.  I'll have more energy.  Labor and the pregnancy will be easier and less risky than if I were older.  


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Old 05-06-2011, 03:23 PM
 
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I was 18 when I had my first and 23 when I had my second.  I will be 27 when this one is born.

 

Being young does NOT mean you don't know how to be a responsible, good mother.  I have met terrible mothers who are 35, and some of the best mothers who were just teenagers.  Not to say that owning a house and having health insurance and a steady income doesn't help you lead a way less stressful life with your child- but it in no way has to affect the way you parent, or the person you will become.   Everyone looks back on their first parenting experiences and can see some things they should have done different, and that has nothing to do with age.


 
 
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Old 05-10-2011, 06:57 AM
 
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I am 26 and on baby #4 :)


~Ashley~ Happily married to my high school sweetheart. Lucky to be a SAHM to M 1/07, M 5/08 & J 12/09 with someone new coming late fall. I'm a homebirthing, intactivist, extended breastfeeding, baby wearing, anti vaccines, cloth diapering, bed sharing kind of mommy.
 
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Old 05-10-2011, 08:45 AM
 
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I'm 23 on my 4th pregnancy (but one was a m/c). My first was born when I was 20, dd was born when I was 22, and this one I'll be 24 when he/she is born.

 

I was out with my dd the other day and she was in undies (she is potty learning) and someone started lecturing me about how she is WAY too young for it and it was never going to work blah blah blah and I just smiled sweetly and said, "well, it worked fine for my first! he was in underwear at 15 months!" and watched their jaws drop. People always assume that she is my only because I look so young.

 

I personally am glad that I started young. Even if I keep having kids for several more years, I'll be done with the nitty gritty of childraising by the time I'm in my  mid-40's, leaving me plenty of time to do what I like.

 

When people tell me I "threw away" my good years I like to tell them that no, I just put 'em on layaway. lol.


Very blessed mama to one bouncin' boy bouncy.gif (12/07) one angel3.gif who didn't get to stay (6/09), one potty learning, mess making divaenergy.gif(4/10), and one cheerful milk monster. aabfwoman.gif (12/11) Happy partner to the love of my lifedp_malesling.GIF.  

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Old 05-11-2011, 09:47 PM
 
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waiting2bemommy-hahaha thats exactly as I would put it

 

I was pregnant with DD when I was 21, had her at 22.  I had already graduated college and was traveling around the world and having fun doing my own thing...engaged to my husband who was 11 years older than I was, so we were pretty settled in life.  I remember when I went to like a 28 or 30-something week ultrasound my husband was booked for the day and I brought my mother, who had actually never seen an ultrasound before. It was like the scene right out of Juno or something, the ultrasound tech treated me like I was something out of 16 and pregnant and I let every comment slide throughout the whole appointment, held myself like a lady, and my mother and I shot looks to each other the whole time because we could not believe how unprofessional this woman was. I really wanted to just focus on the baby and letting my mum get to see an ultrasound... and the tech would not stop interrogating me and oh heavens, when she got to the birth plans....ugh.

 

Even some friends of ours who are older criticize the amount of children I'd like to one day have and many of them had their first in their late 30s or early 40s, and refuse to even have a second child. I'll be sending my youngest off to college at that time, god willing, and perhaps my career will begin that decade. Or maybe I'll be a stay at home mum. Who knows?

I really like being a young mother and though the first time I was pregnant it was a complete surprise I'm really glad life turned out the way it did. winky.gif


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Old 08-13-2011, 08:13 AM
 
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I'll be 25 when our first baby is born. We have been married for 2 years, moved across the world to Indonesia and once we got pregnant decided to move back to the States. Actually most people have been really supportive. My family are excited and so are his. First grandchild for everyone. I think that it helped that are very independent and strong willed. Everyone has their own idea of what is right and what is wrong but as long as you know what you're doing is right for your family you'll be fine! thumbsup.gif

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Old 08-16-2011, 10:33 AM
 
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I'm 18 and pregnant with my first child. My boyfriend is 26. I've lost the majority friends because of the fact I'm pregnant at such a young age. My friends want to go out, party and have fun. But I guess they see it as I'd be holding them back from that. Sigh. I'm hoping once I start birthing classes I make friends with pregnant girls around my age. (:


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Old 08-16-2011, 11:07 AM
 
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I am 26 and having my third baby. They are all 2 years (almost exactly) apart. We get horrible comments from strangers and family members alike. Apparently, we are just young, dumb, and ignorant. Despite the fact that my DH has an amazing job where he makes more than most dual income families, I say at home, we eat very healthy, garden, homeschool, homebirth, etc... It's just a stigma. The culture we are living in has been brainwashed to believe a certain thing and it's sad. Truly sad. I don't know why people feel inclined to make comments or talk about others when they are not the ones paying our bills or taking care of our children! I guess, maybe they are just convicted about something they are not doing or think they wouldn't be able to do and it offends them or guilts them. I don't know! But I am a proud "young" mama! I love having my children and will keep having them until I can't or am unable to! I just have learned to tune everyone else out because they are just ignorant!

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Old 08-16-2011, 11:10 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tristis View Post

I'm 18 and pregnant with my first child. My boyfriend is 26. I've lost the majority friends because of the fact I'm pregnant at such a young age. My friends want to go out, party and have fun. But I guess they see it as I'd be holding them back from that. Sigh. I'm hoping once I start birthing classes I make friends with pregnant girls around my age. (:



Friends older than you will become a sincere asset in your life! Because my DH and I are young at 27 and 26, all of our friends are above 35 and have families and they are the most invaluable resource we have! Some of them have grown children, some have a combo, some just young, but we all share parenthood in common and automatically, you become friends just on that! Age doesn't matters so much in the realm of life! One day, you will be the invaluable resource to those who have written you off for some so-called "better" life!

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Old 08-16-2011, 03:26 PM
 
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I'm not young (29) but I so would have had kids younger if it had been up to me! God apparently had other plans for me, though, and I'm just thrilled that I get to start my family so soon after getting married (I conceived 4 months after the wedding).

 

However, I can relate to people not respecting your choices. Why is it, in a culture where we're taught that women can do whatever they want, that it's not okay to want to be a stay-at-home mom? It drives me crazy! "Follow your dreams... but only if they're career dreams." Ugh. I want to be the best wife and mom in the world. That's my dream, and I'm going to keep chasing it regardless of what others think!

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Old 08-22-2011, 08:37 PM
 
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I was 23 when my first daughter was born.  DP and I had been together 4 years and we were just ready to start growing a family.  He felt the need to present the pregnancy as a surprise to his family, though.  I think that had more to do with our financial situation than age, reflecting on it.  I was the youngest of the 40ish members of the Moms group I joined, and I often felt I wasn't taken seriously.  DD2 came when I was 25 and we definitely got the "you know how this happens" talk.  Oh well.  Didn't stop us from trying for #3 when I was 28 and more silly responses from others followed, of course. 

 

We've  just celebrated 12 years together and DP has now started to show signs that he is over 30, including silver in his hair and whiskers, but people still push their opinions.  My FIL recommended DP go and visit a particular Dr. for a vasectomy when DP shared the news that our 4th is on the way.  After we visited FIL a month later and he was impressed with DP's and my parenting, FIL phoned DP and told him that he was proud of us and sometimes he wished he had done things differently when DP was growing up.

 

I'm 31 now and very happy that our family is almost complete.  I like to think that DP and I are young, patient, energetic parents and ten years from now that will still be true.

I agree with a pp that we should embrace our differences.  We all have our strengths!grouphug.gif


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Old 08-23-2011, 07:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jkseawell View Post





Friends older than you will become a sincere asset in your life! Because my DH and I are young at 27 and 26, all of our friends are above 35 and have families and they are the most invaluable resource we have! Some of them have grown children, some have a combo, some just young, but we all share parenthood in common and automatically, you become friends just on that! Age doesn't matters so much in the realm of life! One day, you will be the invaluable resource to those who have written you off for some so-called "better" life!


I didn't look at it quite like that. Thanks for the advice. I'm sure I'll make new friends along the way and my old ones will one day realize how silly they were being.

 


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Old 08-25-2011, 06:45 AM
 
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I was 21 when my first was born, and VERY informed. She's 18 now, and I'm having my third. :)


Jenrose, Mama to DD1, born 1993, DD2, born 2005, and DS1, Jan. 2012. Babywearing, cosleeping, homebirthing mom with fibromyalgia and hashimotos.  DD2 has a rare chromosome disorder. 

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