How is Daddy Handling Things? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 12 Old 06-10-2011, 08:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Is reality setting in now that our bumps are growing?

 

We have outside issues not related to the pregnancy that are causing marriage problems and extra stress in our lives right now. We don't even discuss the baby or the pregnancy except when I am complaining of nausea. He asks me how I feel about once a week, which, for him, is thoughtful. ;)

 

This has been rough for us, no doubt!

 

 

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#2 of 12 Old 06-10-2011, 08:39 AM
 
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Well, my DF has been gone for a month (coming home tonight!!), so he hasn't seen my bump yet, beside pictures I post on facebook. But, he has gone to 2 ultrasound appointments with me while he was here, and we talk about the pregnancy every time we talk. He and I aren't having any problems.. all my problems come from my ex-H.


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#3 of 12 Old 06-10-2011, 05:16 PM
 
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My DH... well.. he seems more cautious this time around. i think it stems from him having cancer, and this being our first child since he's been declared clean.. so I think he's nervous something is wrong or something.. I'm not.. but I do get where he's coming from.


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#4 of 12 Old 06-11-2011, 06:01 AM
 
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i conceived 1 or 2 weeks before he left us, so i wasn't expecting anything. you know how if you don't expect anything, then anything is a good surprise? when i contacted him with the news, he went on and on about himself, then got really nasty about me. it was like talking to a complete stranger. i can't discuss it. it's just too painful. but i've been a single mama since 2006, so i guess that's my path. it's just so damn sad, though.


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#5 of 12 Old 06-13-2011, 07:52 AM
 
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DP is handling things much better than me.  I guess he's a seasoned pro, now with 3 pregnancies under his belt.  He had to do absolutely everything for the girls and me yesterday while I was lying down with nausea & migraines.  He is more connected to this pregnancy than I am and seems to be certain we have a boy on the way. 

 

I feel guilty about my disconnection from this pregnancy and all the work DP has been stuck with the past month+ while I'm feeling drained & crappy.  :(


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#6 of 12 Old 06-13-2011, 08:42 AM
 
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He is in a different place since he is working there while I tie up loose ends here as we move- so with over 1000 miles between us I know he worries and wants to do more to help.  I think he felt guilty that I really had no support throughout the first trimester while I was SO sick and SO tired and miserable, and still parenting all the kids alone. 

 

Other than that- he is excited.  Probably more excited than I am. We planned the pregnancy, but when I became so ill this time I really fell into a pretty meh kind of place about it.  I know it will get better as time passes and things get closer, but I have very little connection at this point, and I'm letting DH plan all the baby stuff on his end.  I'd worry more, but this is #4, and I wasn't super attached to the concept of #3 while I was pregnant either.  I think I'm just not one of those glowing/pregnant moms.  He makes up for it by being a glowing dad. 

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#7 of 12 Old 06-14-2011, 02:51 PM
 
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Since our losses, DH is always more worried than I am, and more worried than he lets on. I still have moments of worry, but since we've heard the heartbeat, I feel emotionally much more calm. He is, however, still nervous, and probably will be the whole time. He also worries more about the existing kids and how they'll adjust, etc., than I do.
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#8 of 12 Old 06-14-2011, 03:42 PM
 
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oh, my poor husband is stressed.  STRESSED.  he's self-employed and the sole-provider (i do a bit of consulting here and there, but mostly i focus on the kiddos), and keeps saying... "i'm going to be supporting 5 people, besides myself."  plus, we just bought a new house last year and financially things got really tight with the move.  i'm lucky that even still he's very thoughtful and supportive, and is always offering to do more so i can take a break.  he's going through a lot though, and i'm worried about how he's dealing...


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#9 of 12 Old 06-15-2011, 03:10 AM
 
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he doesn't know he's just friend.
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#10 of 12 Old 06-15-2011, 04:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by albafan15 View Post

he doesn't know he's just friend.


Oh, that can makes things complicated.  Do you have family or friends who are supportive?  Pregnancy is a bit of a marathon -- lots of time between now and December and having supportive people can be such a help.   How are you feeling?  


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#11 of 12 Old 06-15-2011, 08:35 AM
 
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ok and my parents know so I guess ok. I've noy had any syptoms I gueess average.....
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#12 of 12 Old 06-15-2011, 09:14 AM
 
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He's really excited! We don't talk about it constantly, but it comes up daily. He complained the other day that every time he thinks up a good name he's driving a bus so he can't write it down. He jokes that he's eating sushi for three now. Anytime I want a rest, he makes sure the kids leave me alone (although he did that before too) and he's been extra helpful. Our DD had her 7th birthday party on the weekend, and when he got up in the morning, the first thing he asked was "What do you need done for the party?" He unloaded the dishwasher, washed the pots I'd forgotten in the sink and set up the tent with the kids (so they were out of my hair) He went with one of the moms during the party and came back with a truckload (literally) of baby stuff! When he finished unloading it all he asked "Does it seem more real now?" I guess it does for him! There's a swing with a remote, which he wants to put batteries in and try... he's a bit of a tech junkie, so I think it appeals to him because of that... he has a remote for the car radio. Seriously.


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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