The rude/inappropriate comments thread - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-19-2011, 12:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Triniity View Post

A nurse at the hospital : So, now you are going to be scum, right? 

 



 

.....Say WHAT?

 

I would have filed a complaint with Every. Single. Person. who outranked that nurse at that hospital. O.O


Just a homegrown heretic hopelessly in love with her amazing DH, 2.5 year old Eli, and now expecting a new arrival April 2015.
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Old 06-20-2011, 08:51 AM
 
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In defense of some (but not all) of the people who have been asked "Were you trying?", I asked my sister that when I was single (she was married) and announced that she was pregnant.  I wasn't trying to pry or be rude, but most of my friends who had gotten pregnant had done so by accident, and a different kind of support is needed in that sort of situation...  On the other hand, that was my sister, not a total stranger or a mere acquaintance.  But I could tell she thought it was a weird thing to say.

 

But seriously, I don't think you can win on that.  My last pregnancy (ended in miscarriage) was not intentional, and it sort of annoyed me that my parents assumed that it had been planned.  But this one, my DH's grandmother said something along the lines of "It wasn't planned, of course", just assuming that since we've already got two children, we wouldn't do this intentionally or something?

 

I guess it's just the assumptions that bother me.  But then, it could be that I'm cranky because of hormones.

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Old 06-20-2011, 11:10 AM
 
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I said "On purpose?" when my mom told me that someone we know was pregnant... it was my initial reaction because she doesn't seem happy after her first child. I sort of assumed she was done! I can't picture myself saying that to her face, but it sure flew on out of my big mouth to mom, so who knows? 


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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Old 06-20-2011, 02:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triniity View Post

I got a couple of real bad ones. My granny (I mean: my granny!) said something like: You are tempting God! You have two healthy children, now you are asking for trouble! 

My MIL: Will you terminate if something is wrong with the baby? (Even before any Congrats or anything like this.

My mom was not happy, she was like: You are going to break down soon. 

A nurse at the hospital : So, now you are going to be scum, right? 

 

Mmmh. I am happy! :) I was especially hurt by the God tempting one. In my belief He loves all his children!



What?!?  To all of those.  What is wrong with all of those people?  I'd be filing a written complaint with both the hospital that nurse works with and with the department of regulation and licensing.  Unreal!  Hang in there, mama. 

 

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Old 06-30-2011, 10:52 AM
 
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DH and I are just now making the announcement. Our due date is Dec. 30, and we have gotten a surprising number of comments that we timed it just in time for a tax break. That hadn't even crossed our minds! When the first person said it, we were like, oh, I guess it could be.. but now everyone is saying and even suggesting that we should induce in time to make the cutoff! Uh!


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Old 07-01-2011, 04:56 PM
 
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My rudest/most inappropriate comments have come from my mother. I see her once a year. Pregnant or not, she always comments on my weight. Usually first thing, like at the airport when I'm picking her up. And I am normal weight.

When DS was 3 mos old, I flew alone with him across the country to visit my family. My mother told me that I needed to do some crunches to get my abdomen in shape. I had hyperemesis during that preg and had lost a bunch of weight.

Then next time when I picked her up at the airport she goes "looks like you put on a few pounds". WTH? This was at the baggage claim while we were waiting for her luggage.

Last summer, at the airport when I picked her up, I was holding DS on one hip and the parking ticket machine with the other hand. She actually grabbed my abdomen and said "what's this, are you preg?" UGH. I wasn't pregnant. thanks mom.

So now I am preg, and she's coming in 2 weeks and I am dreading the comments. Plus we plan to go to the beach. Which means swim suit. I started out this preg 10# heavier but still I'm normal weight.

She's like the food police too, always judging (and commenting about) what other people are eating/buying at the grocery store/etc. I think that she has an eating disorder. And the times when I visited and noticed that she had gained weight, I never said any thing. So rude!

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Old 07-01-2011, 07:27 PM
 
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What if you totally gave it back to her... wait until she says something, because it sounds certain that she will, and then just slip in a casual "oh I was going to ask you the same thing... you look like you've put on a couple pounds..." Let her know how it feels. It's a bit underhanded, but maybe it'll make her think twice next time. 


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Old 07-02-2011, 12:06 PM
 
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"Oh you are gaining sympathy weight! Oh sweet!"

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Old 07-02-2011, 07:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Czarena View Post

"Oh you are gaining sympathy weight! Oh sweet!"


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Old 07-05-2011, 11:56 AM
 
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We've gotten several more, "You are done after this, right?"

and people don't seem to mind telling us that we are crazy.  We have three girls, so many  folks assume we're "trying for a boy."  I tend to remind these folks that I come from a family with 7 girls.  I don't like the idea of having children in the way I might play yahtzee.orngtongue.gif


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Old 07-05-2011, 12:47 PM
 
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This wasn't said directly to me, but my mom was kind enough to pass it on: "Oh, she'll probably bottle feed since she's not very maternal".  Gaaaaaah!!!  

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Old 07-06-2011, 02:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We've gotten more too.  My grandma said "I hope you're not going to give this one a name like ____ (DS's name)"  Yeah.  We are. Thanks.  My mom is also commenting on my weight, asking things like "how much are you supposed to gain??!?" inferring I'm gaining too fast.  I told her my doctor said 50 pounds was perfect, lol.  My OB and I haven't discussed it at all. 

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Old 07-07-2011, 02:00 AM
 
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I think I have met the passive aggressive version of the rude comment -- stoney silence.  My in-laws are perfectly silent about this pregnancy.  Nothing.  Absolutely no acknowledgement of any kind.  

 

We went to a family wedding this weekend and while the rest of the family was happy and excited and chatty about our pregnancy, my in-laws stood in the corner still as statues.  I don't get it.  

 

We ask nothing of them -- we have never asked for money, for babysitting, for a night off, nothing.  Our kids didn't even get Christmas presents this year from them.   

 

My dh and I are older people, professional jobs, decent money.  Our kids are happy and well-cared for.  We have a safe home, a good life.  I don't see why another child would make make anyone upset.  We have the perfect set up for kids and family.  

 

Maybe it is better that I don't know what they are thinking.  It is hard for me to understand though.  My family is loud and out-spoken and while they may be rude, at least I know where I stand. 

 

Dh's dad and his wife are simply silent and brooding.  And they seem angry.  I have no idea why.  


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Old 07-07-2011, 12:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthiegirl View Post

I think I have met the passive aggressive version of the rude comment -- stoney silence.  My in-laws are perfectly silent about this pregnancy.  Nothing.  Absolutely no acknowledgement of any kind.  

 

We went to a family wedding this weekend and while the rest of the family was happy and excited and chatty about our pregnancy, my in-laws stood in the corner still as statues.  I don't get it.  

 

We ask nothing of them -- we have never asked for money, for babysitting, for a night off, nothing.  Our kids didn't even get Christmas presents this year from them.   

 

My dh and I are older people, professional jobs, decent money.  Our kids are happy and well-cared for.  We have a safe home, a good life.  I don't see why another child would make make anyone upset.  We have the perfect set up for kids and family.  

 

Maybe it is better that I don't know what they are thinking.  It is hard for me to understand though.  My family is loud and out-spoken and while they may be rude, at least I know where I stand. 

 

Dh's dad and his wife are simply silent and brooding.  And they seem angry.  I have no idea why.  



This is my in-laws too!  No congratulations.  No "how are you doing?"  This is only our second so I know it isn't that they think our family is too big, not that it would make their silence any more acceptable. We also don't ask them for an.y.thing and financially and otherwise are in a great place to welcome another person our family.  I don't get it either... ... 

 

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Old 07-07-2011, 02:18 PM
 
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Silence would BUG me, too. If you aren't happy about it,  PRETEND! It's not very often that people see the baby and are still upset, so they won't have to pretend for long.

 

My MIL isn't exactly rude, but she's obnoxious. In early pregnancy, she asked hows the morning sickness and I told her I don't have any... her response was to sort-of grunt, like she was disappointed. The only thing I can think of is that she was sick with her pregnancies, but that was 30+ years ago, get over it! SO told me that when he told her DS had chicken pox, and we were a little worried about me getting it, she said he had mumps when she was pregnant with his brother and thats WAAAAY worse... I'm sorry, is it a contest? Maybe I should call her more often, I'd have A LOT more to contribute here!!


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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