The Gender (maybe a tiny bit of) Disappointment Thread - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 7 Old 07-14-2011, 10:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
APToddlerMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,130
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

So we found out we're having another boy, and I guess I have to say it out loud....I am a tiny bit disappointed.  Tiny bit as in I was able to hold myself together just long enough to get to the bathroom after the ultrasound before I started crying.  I am doing fine now and actually really truly excited about having another boy, but I can't help feeling this huge sense of loss that I will never have a daughter.  This is almost definitely my last pregnancy due to all the issues I've had in both pregnancies. I don't think I'd feel as sad if I knew I might still have a daughter.  It is super shallow but I was really looking forward to buying all those cute clothes and bows and PINK.  Yes, pink.  I said it.  I can't even believe I am being this shallow as I have definitely judged in the past when people have complained about being disappointed about the gender.  I know I should just be happy this baby seems to be healthy and I am still carrying as I have had a lot of scares, but in my heart I just really wanted a little girl. 

 

So share with me mamas... Are any of you a tiny little bit disappointed as well? 

APToddlerMama is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 7 Old 07-14-2011, 11:04 AM
 
Sasha's Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 233
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I could have written your exact post! I started BAWLING when I got to the bathroom after our appointment! I was crying almost all day and asked my husband what is wrong with him that he only gives us boy babies. redface.gif

 

I was totally fine by that evening when we told the two other boys because they were SO excited to be having another brother, and my three brothers are super excited to have another nephew, so I realized that I was kind of beind dramatic. This will be our third boy. I really am fine about it now, and it's kind of weird when I tell other people that we're having another boy because they look at me weird and say something like "Oh...ok..." Uhm.. What's with that?! Other people don't get to be dissapointed in the sex of my baby! haha

 

Another poster wrote something that felt really true, that it's not that you're upset about having a son, it's that you're mourning the loss of a daughter you'll never have.

Sasha's Mama is offline  
#3 of 7 Old 07-14-2011, 11:09 AM
 
Right of Passage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The abyss of grief
Posts: 2,313
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

:Hugs mama DDCC I've been there. I have 3 amazing boys and I love them for who the are, but never having that experience of the daughter I so longed for meant a lot of tears shed. It's about the baby dreampt of and longed for, not the baby blessed with who is perfect in so many ways. Sending love and congrats on your precious new son!


bf.jpg Sami brokenheart.gif, wife to jammin.gif, mama to reading.gif Tate 10/14/05, moon.gifKaleb 12/17/07, angel.gifcandleflicker2.gif Bram 3/13/10-11/17/12, mischievous.gif Alden 2/1/12, pos.gif October 2014
 homeschool.gifvbac.gifuc.jpg 

Right of Passage is offline  
#4 of 7 Old 07-14-2011, 12:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
APToddlerMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,130
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sasha's Mama View Post

 I really am fine about it now, and it's kind of weird when I tell other people that we're having another boy because they look at me weird and say something like "Oh...ok..." Uhm.. What's with that?! Other people don't get to be dissapointed in the sex of my baby! haha

 

Another poster wrote something that felt really true, that it's not that you're upset about having a son, it's that you're mourning the loss of a daughter you'll never have.



THAT is so weird to me too.  We've gotten plenty of disappointment from others like I think they feel sorry for me which kind of makes me want to punch them (okay, not really punch, but it makes me aggravated). 

 

Thanks to you too RightOfPassage--I think that is what it is...It is the baby girl I have dreamed about, and like you said too Sasha's Mama  mourning the loss of a daughter I'll never have :(.  I know I'll be okay and it isn't that I am upset about having a son.  I'm excited, but it is nice to be able to talk about the sense of loss too.  I'm sure my feelings are amplified by the fact that I am super emotional when I'm pregnant. 

 

APToddlerMama is offline  
#5 of 7 Old 07-14-2011, 04:56 PM
 
Czarena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Eugene, OR
Posts: 171
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

yeah, when we found out our 3rd was another (3rd) boy, DH had to have a little pity party and mourn. I do think that he would be crushed if this was our fourth boy, but all my friends that are never wrong say girl. But I'm definately going to do a gender check in September so we can get the wondering over with.

 

Hugs to you, I only kinda know what you feel - we've not declared any pregnancy our last.

Czarena is offline  
#6 of 7 Old 07-14-2011, 07:10 PM
 
mammamo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Marion, Ohio
Posts: 331
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm kinda worried about feeling like that too, only about having three girls, and my DH doesn't want to find out sooooo....guess we will wait....


Melissa-Mama to Allyson carrot.gif 1-22-07 and Katelyn homebirth.jpg 5-14-09 and Paul 1-2-12 my 10 lb 6oz. homebirthed baby boy.

mammamo is offline  
#7 of 7 Old 07-14-2011, 08:50 PM
 
fnpmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 127
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

hey there - guess we have this is common too.  3rd boy for us here and given the complications in my last pg and this one, we are pretty sure it is our last.  so yes i am there with you just a twinge of disappointment.


Mama of 3 little boys - DS1 4/08, DS2 4/09, DS3 12/11

fnpmama is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off