Birth "Control"/Baby Spacing Plans for After This Baby? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 47 Old 10-27-2011, 11:47 AM
 
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I suppose I could try the copper IUD... the Mirena was a train wreck for me (as was the pill and even the mini-pill) I wonder if the midwives could do that? Azadehhast... I started trying to temp before my cycle got regular between DS & DD... I didn't do the whole charting thing, just put temps on the calendar. It didn't actually help for TTC, but I knew I hadn't had a temp shift so I wasn't pregnant... and then that I had... and then that my temp wasn't going back down, so I'd better get a test! I had 2 cycles between the kids and it wasn't regular... they kept asking for my LMP (July) and DD was conceived in September.


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#32 of 47 Old 10-27-2011, 12:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Azadehhast View Post

How do you do this with NFP? You can't chart an ovulation you don't know you've had, and it could be 6 weeks to a year before AF returns!

There is probably a better answer than this, and this answer is definitely TMI, but I didn't get a period for over a year after DS and breastfeeding made me so so dry that I was pretty much 100% certain there was no ovulating going on.  I suppose some women do ovulate without obvious signs but I was fairly confident nothing was going to survive that environment.  Regardless, we used withdrawal faithfully as well and everything turned out fine.  I think part of that depends though on how "okay" you'd be with an unplanned pregnancy or not. I wouldn't have been thrilled, but knew we wanted more kids so it would have been okay.  If you want to "purge", you could always go back on the IUD right away and then take it out and wait a month or two before TTC the next baby. 

 

 

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#33 of 47 Old 10-27-2011, 01:48 PM
 
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Right now we say we are done, but we will get nothing permanent until this little guy is about 5. Our daughter is almost five and for us this is good spacing out of children. At one time we wanted three but now we are thinking two will be plenty. I will probably do the mirena or some other birth control ASAP, even though it is probably not necessary since I have a hard time conceiving. But it would be my luck that we don't use bcontrol and I will spontaneously get pregnant.


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#34 of 47 Old 10-28-2011, 01:12 PM
 
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There is little doubt that 4 kiddos is the maximum this ADD Mama is able to take on.  I'm ready to say this is my last pregnancy.  That said, I don't feel comfortable with the side effects of hormonal birth control or implants.  The pills I tried disrupted my emotional state and intensified PMS symptoms.  I have heard stories about painful cysts, etc. due to implants. 

DP is willing to have a V, but I'm not convinced it won't disrupt our sex life.  If there is the slightest chance it could make the act painful for DP or decrease his libido, it's OUT!  I already have a much higher sex drive than DP, and I think that would be torture for me.

 

In the mean time, here is our plan:

After this babe is born, I'll be breastfeeding on demand.  I will be slowly and carefully introducing solids, starting no sooner than 6 months old once the babe shows interest,  and going by the guidelines from our holistic pediatrician.  (This is a different topic:  It deserves a thread of its own!!)

 

Once babe starts letting more than 4 hours elapse between breastfeeding sessions, I'll be vigilant for signs of AF returning.  That has been around 16 months PP for dd2 & dd3.  I introduced solids earlier with dd#1 and my AF returned within two months of dd1 eating solids.

 

I have a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility ( http://www.tcoyf.com/ ) and we plan to follow NFP, like several others have posted.  I will be signing up for the NFP thread!!!  We should start it now over in the Dec 2011 DDC social group!thumb.gif


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#35 of 47 Old 11-18-2011, 05:07 AM
 
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ddc crashing to say i applaud those of  you refusing to take bc or have your dh/dp have a vas.

 

i am factor v leiden hetero (a blood clotting disorder) and there is NO way of knowing if you have this or another clotting disorder unless you get tested.  in my family it is an inherited disorder.  my cousin has factor v leiden homo (the bad kind) and my uncle had a blood clot in his calf but has never been tested.  my partner (also female) has factor v leiden hetero also.

 

I had a post partum blood clot and that is why i was tested.  the hematologist said i shouldn't have gotten one since fvl hetero only slightly increases the chances of a blood clot - so i was "unlucky". 

 

being on bc if you have a blood clotting disorder makes you more at risk to get a blood clot.  smoking is also a risk.  IMO if an ob is going to prescribe you bc, they should be expected to offer a blood test for clotting disorders.

 

as far as vas goes - someone in my family had one and experienced impotence.  this is a common side effect.

 

i hope those of you going back on bc will consider what i wrote above.  somehow in my post partum nursing haze i was able to realize that the charlie horse in my calf wasn't normal and called my ob.  blood clots are extremely dangerous and very scary.  i had to inject myself with lovenox for 5 days and then be on coumadin for 6 months.  :(

 

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#36 of 47 Old 11-18-2011, 08:40 AM
 
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indigoscot~ my sister had blood clots in her arm, but I can't remember what caused them. They are very scary! Testing before prescribing sounds like a good idea to me... the attitude I've come across regarding birth control is that women should just put up with all these nasty side effects. If they don't use hormones and accidentally get pregnant, it's because they weren't trying hard enough to prevent it. And their husbands/boyfriends are seen as victims or something. There are a lot of women that the pill works fantastic for, so the assumption is that it's right for everyone... I really resent that! I don't know much about vasectomies... but it seems like the side effects of so many things are downplayed or dismissed by care givers. 


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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#37 of 47 Old 11-19-2011, 08:16 AM
 
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While I can appreciate the concern for complications and side effects, and support individuals being informed about their health care choices, I suppose it really all comes down to acceptable risk for the individual.

 

Some women continue to smoke while on the BCP despite knowing it increases their risk of blood clots. That is a personal choice based on risk assessment (and predictable addiction behaviors).

 

I will happily return to the Mirena because my chance of a blood clot or other major complication is significantly lower than my chance of being unreliable or unprepared with other methods of birth control. I consider unplanned pregnancy a side effect of unreliable birth control, so I'm weighing one risk against the other. ;) (However I have been looking at Essure as a more permanent/secondary birth control method to the vas, since they are imperfect also.)

 

Impotence and vasectomy are vaguely linked, but I don't know that I would call it a "common" side effect. Post-vasectomy pain syndrome is common, effecting 1 in every 10-30 men according to some studies. Interestingly enough, research indicates ED may be a factor of poor vasectomy acceptance (rather than the vasectomy itself, per se), and suggests that the strength of the partner relationship may influence this to some degree (Buchholz et al., 1994, Post-vasectomy erectile dysfunction, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7877130). Now that's pretty amazing stuff! Such problems are usually resolved via a reversal. (Hell, since it's psychological, such problems would likely be resolved by just TELLING the man there was a reversal, LOL!) However, there is no research to validate the statement that vasectomy increases the risk of physically-based ED (although it does have an identifiable effect on libido, orgasm response, etc). But, much like there is no substantive research to validate the statement that vaccinations increase risk of autism, or the Vitamin K shot increases risk of childhood leukemia, people will continue to believe whatever they wish. ;)

 

@Mummoth, caregivers do have a tendency to downplay risks, but IMO that's because risk levels are generally pretty low. If you had a 1:5000 chance of having a severe allergic reaction to bananas, would you eat a banana? What if it was 1:1000? 1:100? 1:10? There will always be that one person who won't eat a banana at any risk level, and there will always be that one person who'd eat a banana at a 1:5 risk level, but that's really up to you to decide. You are given the information you need to make that decision before undergoing any procedure or ingesting any medication (yay informed consent laws)... it's just that most people don't actually read it thoroughly. And in caregiver's experiences, the risk is low, so they present it as low.

 

Homebirthers downplay the risks of homebirth, despite knowing they exist. Hospital birthers downplay the risks of hospital birth, despite knowing they exist. I think that's a pretty common human phenomenon, to downplay the risks of something you support... after all, that helps to validate your own support of it, doesn't it? =)

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#38 of 47 Old 11-20-2011, 11:59 AM
 
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DP and I have been having an on-going discussion on this subject for 12 years ...  For us, the answer just hasn't been easy.  With the exception of times that we've been open to pregnancy, we have used condoms and they have been effective. However, I am allergic to latex - sometimes I have some discomfort due to that, and I find the intense rubbery smell unpleasant and distracting while DTD.

I still haven't researched the vasectomy.   The diaphragm would be a nice option for us, but DP has a painful reaction to spermicide.  yikes2.gif

 

Aeterna -- It is interesting to learn that a possible link has been found between libido/impotence/pain and the V, though.  I'll be looking into that.  Could you send a link to this info or book title/study/article info?  (For our family, that would be a deal-breaker.  In our twenties, I was lucky to DTD once a month.  Once we started having children, DP's libido has gotten better, but 2-3 weeks celibate can still pass without his noticing.  A decrease in my DP's libido would likely remove the sexual aspect of our relationship entirely, and I hate to consider what that might do to our marriage.  greensad.gif)


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#39 of 47 Old 11-21-2011, 08:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BennyPai View Post

Aeterna -- It is interesting to learn that a possible link has been found between libido/impotence/pain and the V, though.  I'll be looking into that.  Could you send a link to this info or book title/study/article info?  (For our family, that would be a deal-breaker.  In our twenties, I was lucky to DTD once a month.  Once we started having children, DP's libido has gotten better, but 2-3 weeks celibate can still pass without his noticing.  A decrease in my DP's libido would likely remove the sexual aspect of our relationship entirely, and I hate to consider what that might do to our marriage.  greensad.gif)



You bet! =D 

 

The first study I read gave the incidence rate of 1:10--30 (1). Other studies reference polar opposite incident rates of 1:1000 (2). The difference may lie in definition of "chronic," or an underreporting of issues, or anywhere in between (opinions vary). 

 

The article I linked in that first post (3) discusses some of the other side effects (reduced libido, changes in orgasm, fewer/weaker erections etc). I do find it fascinating that the men who blame their vas (rightly or wrongly) for their sexual dysfunction report a significantly higher rate of pretty much any possible complication, in addition to the underlying psychological basis for the findings, supported by the data that the men with these complaints had no such issues during masturbation, only during partner encounters. The psychology of ED is just. so. cool. xD

 

(For real-life purposes, I'd encourage your DH to explore his feelings on vasectomies before pursuing it as an option; if he secretly believes it will emasculate him, it probably will. For me, I think I'll let DH decide if that's something he wants to pursue; if he's doing it just to make me happy, I'd rather pursue something else and continue to have a generally enjoyable sex life!)

 

 

 

References

 

1. Potts, J.M. (2008). Post Vasectomy Pain Syndrome. Genitourinary pain and inflammation. Current Clinical Urology, 201–209. doi:10.1007/978-1-60327-126-4_13. (Can be found here.)
2. Tandon, S., & Sabanegh Jr., E. (2008, July). Chronic pain after vasectomy: A diagnostic and treatment dilemma. BJU International, 102(2), 166-169. doi:10.1111/j.1464-410X.2008.07602.x
3. Buchholz, N.P., Weuste, R., Mattarelli, G., Woessmer, B., & Langewitz, W. (1994, October). Post-vasectomy erectile dysfunction. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 38(7), 759-762.


Just a homegrown heretic hopelessly in love with her amazing DH, 2.5 year old Eli, and now expecting a new arrival April 2015.
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#40 of 47 Old 11-22-2011, 03:00 PM
 
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Thanks, aeterna!thumb.gif

Psychology in general is fascinating! 

I wonder, too, if there is any info out there about spermicides and the intact VS circ'ed man... I sometimes wonder if my DP has increased sensitivity to spermicide for that reason and whether there is some gentle spermicide out there I haven't heard of... I've never looked into it before.


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#41 of 47 Old 11-23-2011, 12:32 PM
 
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Well, I am really done.  I am 38 and #4 and #5 were a surprise.  (Feel extremely lucky, however . . .can't imagine life without my beautiful #4.)  I was NOT charting this time but I am pretty good at it . . .really, based on everything I know, #5 has been pretty much a miracle conception. 

 

I am not sure what to do.  I am thinking of Essure.  My MW recommends it and she is very much in line with natural living (practices what she preaches) so I will probably go that route.

 

If ever I wanted to have another child, I would consider myself very lucky to adopt, so that would be my next step.

 


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#42 of 47 Old 11-23-2011, 03:47 PM
 
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i will not post a horror story but please please be aware of the side effects that have been mentioned such as blood clots and variables that can make your risk higher with BCP.

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#43 of 47 Old 11-24-2011, 08:53 AM
 
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Finally, we have made a decision on this subject!joy.gif

 

I've been re-reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility as part of preparing myself for baby's birth and bringing awareness to my body, and I'm leaning toward NFP as a permanent BC.  With three daughters, I think charting and paying attention to my body is a good example for me to set for them, and it is in line with my personal lifestyle choices.  DP also gets involved with the charting, especially taking my waking temp and it makes me feel more connected to him.

 

I should clarify for those that haven't read TCOYF or learned about NFP using the FAM:   NFP charting involves much more than simply taking your waking temperature, and I don't see it as a risky form of birth control when done properly.  In learning your body's unique cycle, ovulation days can be anticipated and a birth control method or abstinence can be used during fertile days.  There are a number of signs to watch for prior to ovulation, so charting is a reliable tool to recognize the return of AF after childbirth. 

 

Even if you're using another form of birth control, charting can increase its effectiveness. 

 

It can take a number of cycles paying attention to all of these cues to recognize and confidently rely on them, but it is worth the effort.  I feel that it is a worthwhile experience just to understand more about my body.

 

At least for the first 6 months, I expect to have no ovulation as I breastfeed on cue day and night.  *For most (not all) mothers, exclusive breastfeeding at least every 2-4 hours "on-cue" or "on demand" (not trying to put baby on a feeding or sleep schedule) prevents ovulation from returning for at least the first 6 months.  We have always co-slept and practiced attachment parenting, so this was automatically part of our parenting.  After the births of my first three children, AF did not return until:  *11mos, 16mos, and 15mos.   Each time, I recognized my body's ovulation signs before the first AF.  (To me, they felt like early pregnancy symptoms ...) *When AP returned at 11months, I had introduced solids to my DD at 5 months and increased the amount of solids in her diet when she was 9 months.  I exclusively breastfed longer with my 2nd and 3rd.

 

I have said before that this pregnancy wasn't specifically planned, but also I have not gotten pregnant while trying to avoid pregnancy.  I was not even charting when this baby was conceived -- DP and I were flirting with the idea of growing our family.  The only BC I relied on between my second and third children was charting, and we waited until we were ready before TTC.  When we were ready, we conceived the first month of trying, and there were a comfortable 3.5 years between #2 and #3.


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#44 of 47 Old 11-27-2011, 01:24 PM
 
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I will definitely be purchasing TCOYF. BennyPai - thanks for the details.  I have never read it, but unknowingly followed the basics while first married (didn't start having children until we were married 4-5 yrs).  We conceived the first try we were open to the idea of getting pregnant.  Since then we have used breastfeeding as our birth control  :)  AF returned 13 mo PP with DS and 12.5 mo PP with DD . We were open to the idea of a new baby each time, but not specifically "planned".  We are not sure we can continue having more children slightly less than 2 yrs apart for the next 10-15 yrs though (at the rate we're going) LOL.  Body awareness is never a bad thing...so it's NFP for us!  


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#45 of 47 Old 11-28-2011, 11:20 PM
 
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We will be doing a mix of condoms, no sex and NFP.... basically the same we've done almost our entire marriage. We used birth control for like, two months but I bled so much that it was horrible.. I felt at that time God was pulling on my heart not to use hormonal birth control..

 

I hate condoms, and so does DH, so I'm guessing it will be more based on NFP and avoiding sex during certain times. Now that I know for sure I ovulate on a different date than normal (two pregnancies now that were planned, but had issues with dating in the begining because of it) I need to make sure I get on to charting.


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#46 of 47 Old 12-22-2011, 06:33 PM
 
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At this point it's looking more and more like "No sex until DH mans up for a Vasectomy". 

 

There are NO options for me that are as low risk as that is for him. And I'm 100% not willing to get pregnant again, ever. Period.

 

Now, if I god forbid end up with a cesarean, they can do a tubal at the same time. Or hell, take the whole dang thing out and stomp on it, I'm DONE.

 

This was a planned pregnancy. And we used NFP/FAM for years, successfully, but I find it an unsatisfactory method because it GUARANTEES that when I want to have sex, we can't, and when I am "safe", I don't feel like it. So basically, I won't WANT to have sex again while there is a risk of pregnancy. 


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#47 of 47 Old 12-23-2011, 08:33 AM
 
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I am getting the Tubal Ligation myself. I am due with my DS2 Dec 31st and I think 2 kids is enough for us.

I love feeling baby's movements and am extremely greatful I can be pregnant and carry a baby etc. But I do not enjoy my body feeling like its falling apart. lol


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