4 year old behaviors - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 04-02-2013, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello Dr. Sears,
I have a very bright 4 year old boy who we've been having a lot of trouble with for over 6 months. He's even having difficulty in his new pre-school. I am very concerned and need some assistance.

For about 6 months we've had problems with general obstinate behavior (I can't pick up my toys! I'm broken!), hitting, meanness and not listening. At first we thought it was typical "3" stuff but now he's 4 (as of March 13) and it's getting worse, not better. Twice in one month the teacher at school told us he was having a hard time with hitting, not making eye contact when being disciplined and overall meanness.

We tend to be an attachment, positive discipline family. We've done many things to try to help him with these behaviors. Lots of hands are not for hitting, holding, connecting before correcting, redirection as well as time out. Nothing seems to be helping. I'm wondering if there isn't something more serious at play?

Well meaning family just tell me to by authoritarian and shout and be mean etc. Not the way I am willing to go. Hello, let's model the behavior we'd like shall we?

At any rate, I've read that oftentimes very bright children are very high needs/high maintenance. Is this true? What else can I do to make peace at home and school? Do I need to get him evaluated for a food sensitivity/intolerance or behavioral issue?

Thank you....
Alyson

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#2 of 2 Old 04-24-2013, 01:09 PM
 
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I agree with your idea about this possibly being a food intolerance issue. This is way too complicated for me to be able to give you some guidance here though. Often these issues aren't just behavioral, and trying to try different parenting approaches might not solve it if it's medical/nutritional. I'd encourage you to seek out help in the area of nutritional/allergic causes of behavioral challenges.

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