Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) January 2012 - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-27-2011, 12:02 PM
 
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Kindermam and mariacm that is wonderful news!!!! Oh congratulations on those ultrasounds. I know it's not proof positive of anything but it must feel so great!

Dana....would love to hear how your scan went as well. Sending positive thoughts your way.

So next week is our big week huh Leah? My ultrasound is fri and I must admit it's getting harder to forget about it. I'm moving more into the obsess mode. How am I going to pass these next 7 days arrrrrrgg?! Plus I'm still sick sick sick with this terrible cold so it's not like I have even work to distract me. Deep breath!

Sandra + Jeremy keepin' it real with Adelaide (2005) and Watson (2008)
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Old 05-27-2011, 09:12 PM
 
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Hi ladies-- I had a great ultrasound!  Our little bean is 2 cm long with a heartbeat of 160.  Yeah!  I'm feeling pretty good about this and I'm finally starting to think into the future.  We still haven't made the big announcement yet, though.

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Old 05-27-2011, 11:29 PM
 
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Loving the ultrasound updates :)

 

I had a nine week miscarriage in late march and I am now 7-8 weeks. So I am hoping to keep myself busy but relaxed the next couple of weeks. I am  not planning on getting am ultrasound until 12 weeks.

 

I feel very well. I'm eating lots of eggs which I think is helping keep my progesterone levels up as I'm very bloated. I'm nervous but optimistic but have a strange urge to buy some maternity clothes. I'm not planning on telling friends and family until its obvious but I'm so bloated ......

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Old 05-29-2011, 07:36 AM
 
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Hi everyone!

 

I'm Stephanie. I had an early loss due to a blighted ovum January of this year. My due date is right around the time I had my loss, so it might help me get through that day.

 

I also am having trouble feeling attached. We had an ultrasound on Thursday that showed a baby measuring perfectly with a great heartbeat, but I still just don't believe everything is ok. I think I am being so negative so if anything does go wrong I won't be as crushed as I was last time. I never realized how much I took for granted my other healthy pregnancies. Now I'm thankful for every day I have nausea or no spotting. I have another ultrasound on June 15 and I am already anxious-hoping that we hear that heartbeat again.


Stephanie, Mama to five beautiful kids, wife to J
 
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Old 05-29-2011, 10:19 AM
 
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Welcome Stephanie and congratulations on your ultrasound! How far along are you? I know exactly what you mean by protecting yourself. It makes perfect sense to me. June 15th will hopefully be here before you know it.

I'm still having trouble being patient and calm until Friday when I'll have my first ultrasound. I'll be 6 weeks 3 days then and I hope against hope to see a little heartbeat. I must say I'm feeling a little down about it today because I haven't had any nausea yet and usually that starts the middle of the fifth week for me. *sigh*

Sandra + Jeremy keepin' it real with Adelaide (2005) and Watson (2008)
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Old 05-29-2011, 08:52 PM
 
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(Downer alert)

 

There are just no guarantees in life.  The older I get the more I realize that.  Now that I'm finally starting to feel more excited about this pregnancy, I just learned that a friend of mine lost her baby at term.  She was due any day and her baby died unexpectedly.  I think for myself, getting past the date of my previous miscarriage was a big accomplishment and I felt relieved afterward.  But this just goes to show how precious and fragile human life is.  There is no magic "safe point," which is why I worry about my toddler all the time, too, and even my husband.  My thoughts and prayers go out to my friend.  And I hope our stories have happy endings!

 

(If anyone who's experienced a late loss has any advice on how I can be a good friend now, I'd appreciate some suggestions.)

 

--Dana

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Old 05-29-2011, 09:11 PM
 
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I am so sorry for her loss.  Mine was at 24 weeks, so not as late but still in the 'stillbirth ' range.  You are so right.  I will feel better when I get to 25 weeks, partly because if I feel like something is wrong, baby would have a chance on the outside, but it is no guarantee that I will take a baby home.

 

A friend sent me an angel from this organization, it meant a lot to me.  If they are not religious, or don't like angels, you can send a butterfly or a smile.  http://www.angelsforhope.org/

 

Letting her talk if she needs to and just being there is good.  I didn't like receiving flowers much, because when they died I had to throw them away and that was upsetting.  I did receive a flowering plant, and I loved that because it was alive :D


Meghan~~ Mommy to 4 kiddos with feet and one with a halo.  ribbonpb.gif Our rainbow1284.gif is due January 2012~
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Old 06-02-2011, 04:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by danamichele View Post

(Downer alert)

 

There are just no guarantees in life.  The older I get the more I realize that.  Now that I'm finally starting to feel more excited about this pregnancy, I just learned that a friend of mine lost her baby at term.  She was due any day and her baby died unexpectedly.  I think for myself, getting past the date of my previous miscarriage was a big accomplishment and I felt relieved afterward.  But this just goes to show how precious and fragile human life is.  There is no magic "safe point," which is why I worry about my toddler all the time, too, and even my husband.  My thoughts and prayers go out to my friend.  And I hope our stories have happy endings!

 

(If anyone who's experienced a late loss has any advice on how I can be a good friend now, I'd appreciate some suggestions.)

 

--Dana


I'm so sorry for your friend's loss.  Ugh.  I think bringing over food is really helpful... I didn't want to cook or eat for a while, but I had a husband and kid who needed fed.  My best friend came over and hung out with me a lot after my husband went back to work, just to keep me company and kind of help take my mind off things and help with basic stuff...I really wasn't functioning too well for a while.  Don't be afraid afraid to bring up her baby and talk about him or her.  Realize she might want to distance herself from you just because you're pg (sorry, I was like that.  I hated and resented all pg people.)  Don't ever say "everything happens for a reason" even when talking about something completely unrelated.  Ummmm, remember baby's birthday and send her a card or even a phone call on that day forever.  Because no one else probably will. 
 


Leah mom to Delilah 9/00, angel Stephen lost 5/25/09 at 40 weeks, and twins Gus and Cash 1/10

Expecting a miracle January 2012

 

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Old 06-02-2011, 05:04 PM
 
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This website is very helpful for those dealing with the death of baby, whether their own or someone else's: www.babylosscomfort.com/what-do-i-say 

 

Leah, how was your u/s?

 

had my ultrasound last friday and it went well, fortunately. The ultrasound machine looked like the first one ever made, so could hardly see anything, but we did see a heart beating, so that was enough for me.

 

 


Milly, stumbling horribly on God's path, married to my amazing Superhero, and mama to my 3 awesome boys, and my amazing rainbow baby girl!  Missing our Little One, lost 11/09, and our son, stillborn 11/10

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Old 06-02-2011, 10:09 PM
 
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Thanks, ladies, for the helpful advice.  And I'm so sorry that you have experienced such losses as well.  :(  Yes, I was afraid that being pregnant might put some distance between us.  And from my own miscarriage, which I'm sure is a very different experience from a stillbirth/infant death (I still don't know what happened exactly), I sure know that a lot of people say the WRONG things!  It will be helpful to have some good words.  Oh, and I agree on the flowers thing, too.  When I miscarried I got (myself) an orchid plant to remember by rather than fresh flowers for that very reason.

 

I recently found out who is organizing meal support for her, so I'm glad I can help with that, at least, until she's ready to face the world again.  I suspect that once things settle down she may feel really alone and perhaps I can help at that time (unless the pregnancy thing gets in the way). 
 

Thanks again for some great resources and great ideas!  I like Angels for Hope idea as well.  She would appreciate that.

 

On another note, I had my first real doctor's appointment (which I put up on an Appointment Updates thread in case people want to update there) and things are looking good here.  I wasn't expecting to hear the heartbeat yet (9w3d then), but we did.  It was so wonderful!  Way more uplifting for me than the ultrasound, even (but Milly, we must have had the same machine!).  I'm starting to get excited and think more into the future now.  I'm really looking forward to that first movement and a little baby bump!

 

--Dana

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Old 06-10-2011, 10:29 PM
 
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I posted earlier in this thread, but it was a while ago.....

I lost a baby a 15 weeks in October and got pregnant again the next cycle after his due date passed in April.  Now I'm due, like you all, with a baby in January.  This will be my second.  It seems like from the get go my body has been plagued with some or another kind of illness.  Just after I found out I was pregnant, my son and I came down with whooping cough.  This was the beginning of May and we are STILL dealing with it... it lasts forever!  With the whooping cough and the morning sickness (all day sickness!) I have been, until fairly recently, thoroughly exhausted and cranky. 

Then Monday morning I came down with a UTI.  For 5 days I tried to fight it off with water and cranberry juice and d-mannose and it seemed to only get worse.  After I talked with my midwife I went to a clinic and got a prescription for macrobid... just in case it was to turn into a kidney infection over the weekend when the only thing open is urgent care.  With that as a back up plan I continued to try to treat it on my own, but this morning woke up with pain in my kidneys!  I felt like I had no choice but to take the medication and started it today.  I HATE medication.  I'm fairly chemical-phobic... and the idea of putting an antibiotic into my body when I have a tiny baby growing and developing inside me is making me ill.  I feel like I am poisoning myself and my unborn child and am struggling to see a different perspective.  I know that kidney infections are no good and it is probably the best course of action... but I can't help feeling defeated, like I should have been able to kick it on my own.  I feel like if I miscarry again, I will have something to blame it on... and I don't want that. 

I thought I'd share my feelings here because the women on this particular forum would understand what it is like to have lost a baby and be scared that something will happen again.. and there also might be many of you who share my distaste for "healing" with pharmaceuticals.  I feel like many don't quite understand because medications are so common no one thinks twice.... and if the doctor prescribes it, why worry...   I just don't trust doctors or western medical ideology for that matter.  Now I'm struggling with the coalescence of my natural healing ideology and my need to use this drug so I don't end up in the hospital!!  Any been there/done that words of wisdom???  I sure could use a different perspective.

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