A thread for older moms... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 07:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm 39, turning 40 in July.  Any other mamas in their late 30's or 40's?   

 

I would love to hear some BTDT advice!


Me (42) DH (43), Catholic Mom to DD (11), DS (6), DS (1)

Expecting #4 in May 2014

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#2 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 08:44 AM
 
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I'm 36! I don't have any btdt advice, but I'll be following this thread as well. What are you planning on doing as far as testing and everything???

Leah mom to Delilah 9/00, angel Stephen lost 5/25/09 at 40 weeks, and twins Gus and Cash 1/10

Expecting a miracle January 2012

 

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#3 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 10:54 AM
 
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That would be me. I'm fairly certain I will be the oldest of the bunch. I just turned 45 and this pregnancy was a surprise. I have 2 older children who are 21 and 17. They were both born to Midwives, BF and co-sleepers, etc.

 

I am still in awe and amazed to be pregnant, truly. We read that the odds of getting pregnant naturally at my age are less than 1%. Clearly this bean wants to be here. My SO is younger than me, he's 38, and has no kids of his own.

 

My first visit to the Midwifery Clinic is on 6.1.11 and I will also be getting an u/s that day. I'd like to do things low-tech but given my age, not sure that I will be able to stick to that as much I'd like. I do want to have this baby in a birth center or at home.

 

Are either of you doing the triple screen? I will be doing the NT u/s, blood work, and not sure if we will go with CVS or amnio.

 


Mama to AJS - 22, CRS -17 and forever in my heart GHAB 8/5/11/(18 weeks) angel2.gif

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#4 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 11:55 AM
 
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I'm 35. All of this is new to me. I don't even know what BTDT means. 


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#5 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 12:49 PM
 
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 BTDT = been there done that

 

Glad to have you here


Mama to AJS - 22, CRS -17 and forever in my heart GHAB 8/5/11/(18 weeks) angel2.gif

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#6 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 01:39 PM
 
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I'm 36 and I feel much older (less energy, etc) than when I had my first 6 years ago. I'm trying to figure out testing too, because the only way my husband said yes to a third baby was if we did prenatal testing. He's super scared of a baby with major anomalies. I'd like to do CVS but it sounds kinda scary. I need to talk with the midwives at my first appointment. I'd love to hear more about your decisions!

Music mama I think you're right about being the oldest! I work with pregnant women and I think the mom's in their 40's often have their shit together in a way that younger mom's don't. Now that is a super big generalization and of course it doesn't always work that way, but there's something about knowing yourself that comes with age. I will never know what kinda of mom I would have been in my 20's but I like to think that waiting a bit has given me time to grow in positive ways smile.gif

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#7 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 01:46 PM
 
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I am 34, will be 35 before I deliver so I might get that AMA label :(

 

I have been thinking about doing the nuchal translucency because of how my last pregnancy ended.  Other wise I will skip the other screenings if I can.


Meghan~~ Mommy to 4 kiddos with feet and one with a halo.  ribbonpb.gif Our rainbow1284.gif is due January 2012~
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#8 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 02:28 PM
 
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I'm 35 and will be 36 (just) when this baby comes.  Although I often imagine that I would have had much more energy for this in my 20s, I never was pg or a mom then, so who knows. Had my first baby at 33, pretty easy pg and delivery.  I hope/expect this to be the same, although I am already much more tired than last time.  But I've not had an un-interupted night's sleep since ds was born, so I'm, sure that has something to do with it!

 

We did the first tri screening (the blood test along with the NT u/s) with my last pg and plan to do it again.  Although I am 99% certain I would refuse anything invasive such as the amnio or CVS.  I know that being 35 or older automatically gives you higher risk factor according to the screen, but as long as the u/s looks good, then I will feel pretty confident that all is well.

 

I don't expect to get treated any differently for my age with this pg, but in the area I live lots of mamas are 30 and 40+.  Neither the ObGyn I am with now, (nor, I can only assume the HB MW that I hope to find) will pressure me for more testing b/c of my age.  I know that isn't always the case though.

 

I think if you will be 35 at time of delivery you automatically get the "advanced maternal age" label. Bah.


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#9 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 02:46 PM
 
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I still feel like such a kid. It's hard to believe I am considered AMA. I just bought my first book by Penny Simkin and am looking forward to learning more about the kinds of test available, etc.

 

I know that I may not have the energy I had when I was in my '20s, but I know I will be a much better mom in my '30s. 

 

Glad to "meet" some other AMA mammas. 


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#10 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 04:02 PM
 
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I know that where I will lack in energy, I will make up for it in patience and not worrying about every little thing. I never imagined I have a baby at this age, I'm still taking it in.

 

I think the term, AMA, is just so foolish. Who came up with it anyway? Pppffft. I'm young at heart and no one ever thinks I am 45 when they meet me.

 

 


Mama to AJS - 22, CRS -17 and forever in my heart GHAB 8/5/11/(18 weeks) angel2.gif

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#11 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 04:32 PM
 
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Ugh, I don't feel old either and I think the AMA label is a load of crap.  That said, I do plan on doing the NT scan and blood work and a level 2 ultrasound at 20 wks, but I am pretty sure I won't do CVS or amnio.  My midwife (CNM) said that she will do as much or as little testing and whatnot as I like.  I am leaning towards more testing, but for me that's due more to previous losses than age.  


Leah mom to Delilah 9/00, angel Stephen lost 5/25/09 at 40 weeks, and twins Gus and Cash 1/10

Expecting a miracle January 2012

 

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#12 of 37 Old 05-19-2011, 06:47 PM
 
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I am 38 and will be when baby is born.  For tests, I am just doing the 2O week scan and that is about it.  I guess I feel like whatever God has in His plan for me, he does.  This is pregnancy/ baby 8 for me, and I feel better now then I have in previous pregnancies.  Age CAN BE another excuse to intervine... thankfully my midwife said i'm still a "baby" for having babies... she thinks AMA is crap and has expecting FIRST time moms into thier 4Oies!  I'm still planning a homebirth with this baby. 

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#13 of 37 Old 05-20-2011, 11:36 AM
 
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I am 38 and will be 39 when baby is born. I have a daughter who was born when I was 36.  I will do CVS because it will ease my mind. I have a high needs, disabled nephew and am very sensitive to that topic.  I am planning an HBAC this time (last time was emergency c-section due to fetal distress).  I definitely feel that I am a better mother now than I would have been in my 20s or early 30s. I'm much more patient, calmer, and just overall am more together. My biggest issue is figuring out work/life balance. I am the main breadwinner in my family and my career has always been the focus of my life. It was a hard transition when I had my daughter and I still struggle with it.  I would love to work part-time but it just isn't feasible at the moment.

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#14 of 37 Old 05-20-2011, 11:55 AM
 
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OH do I qualify as older??  I'm only 34, will be 35 when the babe is born.  I was planning on doing the bloodwork and the anatomy u/s around 20 weeks but nothing extra unless there is a need.  This will be my 4th HB and I tend to not get any testing done but because this was an "oops" I am concerned that I wasn't taking such great care of myself.  


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#15 of 37 Old 05-20-2011, 12:29 PM
 
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I'm 34, turning 35 by the time this baby is due. But just barely! I turn 35 on December 28, and the baby is due January 2! I just had a healthy baby boy almost six months ago. This time around, my MW is having me do some initial bloodwork to look at progesterone levels. Not sure why though.

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#16 of 37 Old 05-20-2011, 12:50 PM
 
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NO ADIVCE JUST YET BUT WANTED TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. IM 44. I HAD DS2 AT 41 AND DS1 AT 38. I DECLINED THE TESTS BOTH TIMES. IF I MAKE IT THAT FAR THIS TIME, IM STILL UNDECIDED ABOUT WHAT TO DO...

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#17 of 37 Old 05-20-2011, 01:43 PM
 
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Hi contactmaya...someone is giving me a run for my money in the age department ;)  Glad to see you here.


Mama to AJS - 22, CRS -17 and forever in my heart GHAB 8/5/11/(18 weeks) angel2.gif

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#18 of 37 Old 05-21-2011, 02:00 PM
 
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38 here!  I don't think I will do an amnio or the more invasive testing unless warranted.  I do feel it would help to be mentally prepared but since i would not take any action if I had a positive test, I don't think being mentally prepared is a good enough reason to undergo the risks.  My 2 cents!  It's nice to meet some older moms!

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#19 of 37 Old 05-21-2011, 03:06 PM
 
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Hi!  I am 38, 39 when this baby is born.  I am considering the NTS b/w and u/s, mostly just to see the bean again.  Other than that, the 20 week u/s and I may have to take P17 shots due to preterm labor with my 7 year old, but, I am planning a homebirth with a midwife, so, as low tech as possible.


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#20 of 37 Old 05-22-2011, 10:30 AM
 
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Hi!  I'm 35 and expecting my first... I read Mothering's "Having a Baby Naturally" and I felt so reassured when I saw that research shows that there are fewer risks for 35-40 yr old moms than what doctors would like us to think, when you adjust the studies for socio-economic level, health, etc.  Ever since we decided we wanted to have children, I've been talking to awesome "older moms" who had their children at 35+ and they've given me a lot of reassurance.  We may not have the energy of a 25 year old, but we have the wisdom and patience that will make us amazing moms!  Let's stay healthy and celebrate our age!joy.gif


Happy housewife and mom to big Z, born at home 1/2012. m/c 07/14 @ 5w and happy to get back to trying!  
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#21 of 37 Old 05-28-2011, 03:17 PM
 
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Hi! I'm 39. I'm depending on the fact that despite all of the increased risks, chances are everything will be fine. I have a friend who just had a baby (HB) at 42, and everything was great. I will do the 20 week ultrasound, because it would be helpful to have an idea if something is wrong to be prepared (though those aren't foolproof!). I was pregnant with my son when I was 34-35 and that was no problem. I love how my MWs are very cool with this kind of thing and don't get bent out of shape about pretty much anything!


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#22 of 37 Old 05-28-2011, 11:00 PM
 
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Hi L'lee!  I love hearing about people like your friend and you!  Thanks for sharing your positive experiences!


Happy housewife and mom to big Z, born at home 1/2012. m/c 07/14 @ 5w and happy to get back to trying!  
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#23 of 37 Old 05-29-2011, 06:39 AM
 
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I'll be 38 when I deliver. We are doing the quad screening and the 20 week scan. After that we will see what happens...

Angela
Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
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#24 of 37 Old 05-29-2011, 04:41 PM
 
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Thanks montessorimama! I'm trying to stay positive because I think there's way too much (generally unwarranted) fear related to pregnancy and birth. 


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#25 of 37 Old 05-31-2011, 04:07 AM
 
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I'll be 38 and was 35 with my last baby.  I have been an easy birther in the past and expect everything to go smoothly with this baby as well.  

 

I do have some nerves about getting pressured to induce.  My midwife/OB both started pushing for induction last time at 37 weeks and I had to fight them off.  I went on to deliver a 7 pound healthy baby naturally at 41 weeks.  I am so glad I resisted the induction.  

 

I have not been to the OB yet and when I do go, I am tempted to fudge the date of my last period.  Just to give me an extra week of breathing room at the end of the pregnancy.  I don't know.  


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#26 of 37 Old 05-31-2011, 04:27 AM
 
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Hi all - i am 41 - had my last LO at 40.  I also have a DD who is 16 and a DS who is 13.  So far the worst thing about having a baby at this age was having to spend 4 hours at the DMV with my daughter who turned 16, and an 8 month old strapped to my back! 

Its been great being calm, knowing when to panic and when not to, knowing - REALLY understanding the phrase "this too, shall pass"    - I can remember so clearly when my older kids were this age...and in a blink of an eye - they were teenagers.  So i think i really can appreciate every moment with this new one...even the ones that drive me crazy! 

I had the 12 week 'quad screen' and  that was it as far as testing ...if that test had shown any abnormalities, i would have further tests, probably the CVS. 


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#27 of 37 Old 05-31-2011, 06:37 PM
 
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I will be 39 when this babe is born...planning a home birth with a midwife, like my last two.

We will take testing as it comes, research each, and probably go with what is least invasive.

If I can offer any advice to moms...i would say, do yourself a favor and get lots and lots of exercise. Walk, do core exercises, yoga, swim, do weights, whatever you can...but get out there and move every day, even when you feel like crap. You will make a healthier baby and you will have a easier pregnancy and birth. The difference between my third and fourth child as far as pregnancy and birth went was night and day, thanks to exercise and diet. I think these become more essential as we age.
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#28 of 37 Old 06-03-2011, 09:04 PM
 
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I'm 37. Assuming baby stays put until after my birthday (due a week after it) I'll be 38. I'm only planning an ultrasound at this point.  I was 35 when I had ds3.


mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#29 of 37 Old 06-07-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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You're not the oldest. I'm also 45, expecting my 5th and totally blown away by this pregnancy. I was so glad to see someone else in a similar situation. Good luck!

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#30 of 37 Old 06-07-2011, 07:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jgallagher66 View Post

You're not the oldest. I'm also 45, expecting my 5th and totally blown away by this pregnancy. I was so glad to see someone else in a similar situation. Good luck!



Glad to see you here. How are you feeling? How old are your other children?


Mama to AJS - 22, CRS -17 and forever in my heart GHAB 8/5/11/(18 weeks) angel2.gif

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