When to tell everyone the big news! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 06-02-2011, 07:56 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm almost 23, I've been married for over a year, and my husband and I are almost 6 weeks pregnant with our first baby! It was kind of a surprise, and my husband just lost his job... so it's been a rough few weeks. Due to our situation we are not able to tell any of our family because we know what their responses might be. It's unfortunate because I want to tell everyone! When did everyone else tell their friends/family?? Anyone else wait to tell, was it because of a possible miscarriage or anyone experience similar judgements from family??
Just curious! Congrats to all of the January moms to be!!

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#2 of 11 Old 06-02-2011, 08:48 PM
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We were married over nine years before we had kids, having experienced years of questions/nagging during that time.  So family judgments were never in the picture for us, except maybe on the other end of the spectrum!


We have always been so excited when we found out that we could hardly contain our news.  We told people really early.  With our daughter everything worked out fine.  After that we miscarried and had to "untell" people.  I don't regret that at all.  It helped to have people's support, and I'm glad others shared in the celebration of that life while it existed.  


This pregnancy, after the miscarriage, has been different.  We have told people as we see them or feel like it, but the excitement isn't the same.  It's not that we're afraid we'll have to untell people again, but just that we're more tentative about the whole experience, and at the beginning it even brought back the sadness of the miscarriage along with the new hopefulness.  We just haven't been bubbling over the same way.


We're looking forward to making our big announcement, probably when we send out the invitation to our annual Fourth of July party.  We'll be about 11 weeks along then and we invite pretty much everyone we know, so then we'll tell our extended network of family and friends.


I'm sorry you're facing judgment from your family.  That would make it a lot harder to tell people.  I'm glad you're excited, though, and of course everything will work out!  I agree with the saying that it's never the "right time" to have kids, even if you've been married a long time and finances are in order.  ;)  Congratulations, and I'm sure you'll think of a great way to tell people when you're ready!




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#3 of 11 Old 06-03-2011, 11:57 AM
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We are 9 weeks and a couple days now and have been just slowly telling people as we see them!  I did make the mistake and told my MIL on wednesday and she pretty much ripped me a new one (asking if we could afford a baby, was it the right thing to do.... ) basically she will not be talked to for a long time (she called me a b@tch)  but everyone else has been so happy....WE ARE SO HAPPY AND OUR SON IS SO HAPPY to be a big brother.


Good luck and don't worry about not telling your family, they will find out when the time is right.  but I bet you have a lot of friends who will be over joyed with your wonderful news.


mama to ds 4/08 and expecting 1/4/12

With DH since 2003

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#4 of 11 Old 06-06-2011, 10:04 AM
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We are 6w6d today and have not really told people, except for two: my sister and my best friend with whom we were pregnant together when I was expecting DD. It seems fine this way for now, not to tell others. With our first pregnancy, my whole family knew at 6 weeks. I think it's very typical that 1st pregnancies are announced earlier.

I'm also hesitant to tell my mom because she is so set against homebirths, and that's exactly what we want. DD was also born at home, but then we lived far away from my family so my mom could not talk my ear off and was happy things ended up going smoothly. You think she'd be a believer the second time around, but no. So that's my big thing to deal with.

stillheart.gifwife to M (36), mommy to M Zs (May 2009) and B D (Oct 2013)angel1.gif 4.5wks Feb 2011, angel1.gif 9.5wks June 2011, angel1.gif 9.5wks Nov 2011, angel1.gif 7.5wks Oct 2012.

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#5 of 11 Old 06-07-2011, 11:13 AM
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We are 10 weeks, and have only told my best friends and my brother.  My future mother-in-law is coming to visit today, for a week, and I look 4 months pregnant, so I have a sneaking suspicion she's going to ask.  (I'm hoping that she'll have a hard time determining if I'm just fat, and asks my fiancee instead!) 


We're not married yet, and have always said that we were eloping and not telling anyone when we got married.  (So when she has asked, we've always said, "Well, we might already be married!")  We got pregnant on purpose, knowing that we weren't getting married until at least July, but she's old fashioned like that...

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#6 of 11 Old 06-07-2011, 05:23 PM
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I think I'm 7 1/2 wks, but we'll be waiting to tell family until I hear a heartbeat. So probably the middle of July. I should be around 13 wks or so. I've had two miscarriages and to me it's not fun to tell and then untell. I'd rather just tell ppl if I miscarry after it's over.

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#7 of 11 Old 06-12-2011, 09:59 AM
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Well I told everyone today, it's my birthday..so I kind of got that birthday vibe going on and just wanted to yell something back at people as they yell at me happy birthday! haha...plus I just can't wait any longer! I mean I am 10+5...so I almost made it to 12. ;)

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#8 of 11 Old 06-12-2011, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by kelseywhitney View Post

Well I told everyone today, it's my birthday..so I kind of got that birthday vibe going on and just wanted to yell something back at people as they yell at me happy birthday! haha...plus I just can't wait any longer! I mean I am 10+5...so I almost made it to 12. ;)

Happy birthday, kelseywhitney!!!  Enjoy your day!

Me (38), DH (47) and big Z (2 1/2)
m/c 07/14 and Baby EDD: 5/24/15! Stick, baby, stick!

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#9 of 11 Old 06-12-2011, 10:16 AM
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Uh... I am 25, pregnant with my 4th and still haven't told my parents.  I have told a few friends (the ones I trust to keep their mouths shut) but I am avoiding telling my parents because they will be... less than enthused.  We live across the country from them so whatever.  Maybe after my 12 week u/s I'll say something.

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#10 of 11 Old 06-12-2011, 11:51 PM
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I'm about 10 weeks now. I've told  twitter & a couple people I know RL on Facebook. And dh told his dad. I haven't worked up the courage to tell my mother. She is going to freak. I didn't tell her about ds3 until I was about 25 weeks. I really don't know when I'm going to tell her. Or if. lol My oldest thinks I should hide the baby when she comes in.

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#11 of 11 Old 06-13-2011, 09:11 AM
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Well, our cat got let out of the bag this weekend.  My DH got a little tipsy and decided to announce the big news to all of our friends at a gathering.  I was not in the room at the time, so when I came in, everyone came at me at once.  I'm sure I sounded less than happy, but I was caught off-guard (especially since we had discussed not telling anyone until we hear a heartbeat at 12 weeks).  I'm sure my friends all think I'm not enthused about having another baby now.



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