I'm having a hard time with this - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 06-08-2011, 12:44 PM - Thread Starter
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I am excited to be pregnant. I can't wait for my first appt to hear the baby's heartbeat.  DP and I are really happy about our new addition.


BUT, I am miserable.  I'm 9 weeks, and starting at 5 weeks, I've had pretty debilitating morning sickness, every possible digestive issue, headaches, and insomnia.  We just gave up on nightweaning my 22 month old DD after 2 weeks of progressively less and less sleep for both her and me.  I'm scared to drive because I'm so tired.  I feel so guilty about how poorly I'm taking care of my child.  We pretty much stay at home all day.  I watch TV on the sofa like a loser.  DP and I got pregnant about a week after we decided to "not not try" with expectations that it would take longer, and now I'm feeling like we didn't wait long enough.  We're also in the process of getting our house ready to put on the market, which is energy consuming but not stressful.  We have a weeklong trip planned when I'll be 13 weeks along, and I'm just dreading having to fly while feeling like this and take care of my child who does not travel well.


I know things will get better the second trimester, but it's been really hard for me physically and emotionally.  I'm mostly just really really really tired.  I've been averaging about 4 hours of really interrupted sleep, like 15 minute increments.  I feel like there isn't anyone IRL that I can lean on or who can help me.  My husband is wonderful.  He makes me sandwiches at 3 am, cleans the kitchen while I nap, takes DD to the playground for me, etc.


Anyone else feel happy but really miserable?

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#2 of 9 Old 06-08-2011, 01:50 PM
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Hugs mama!  I don't think I'm finding it as tough as you are, but I totally relate. I am so ready for the first tri to be over!


I have a 20mo and have also been working on some night weaning, but I'm soooo tired as it is that don't even have the energy to commit to the night weaning.  And I too sometimes wonder if I should have waited longer to get pg. . .my son is such a mamas boy still.  I think the worst for me has been to feel grumpy all the time. The sickness and the tiredness haven't been as bad as the crankiness for me. . .and it makes me feel so guilty when I am cranky to ds (and DH, but less so cuz he's an adult and knows that I am a hormonal mess right now).  It makes me feel awful to not have the joy of parenting right now and see DS reacting to that.


But I know it will get better for both of us!

photosmile2.gif Me= crunchy mama to one rambunctious toddler, born on October 1, 2009. And one sweet little baby born January 19, 2012. heartbeat.gif

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#3 of 9 Old 06-08-2011, 03:59 PM
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Me too. This is very, very much a wanted and tried for pregnancy, so I feel guilty about how absolutely miserable I am feeling and behaving. I have 17 month old twins and a 10 year old DD who just starred summer break and I do not want to leave the couch! I feel nauseous all day, I am so exhausted all I want to do is sleep, it is 95 degrees and my central air is broken, and DH is never, home. Yeah, I'm a total pity party and I feel like crap about it. I'm just praying the 2nd tri will be better!


Leah mom to Delilah 9/00, angel Stephen lost 5/25/09 at 40 weeks, and twins Gus and Cash 1/10

Expecting a miracle January 2012


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#4 of 9 Old 06-08-2011, 04:13 PM
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Yes! Since 4 weeks, I've been nauseous almost all day (it's getting better, now it's just a few hours a day). I spent about 4 weeks in bed for the most part. I couldn't do much at all and I kept thinking to myself "why did we do this??" "am I nuts" "I am nuts!". I've been telling people I'm terrified about our new baby coming this winter....which is not actually how I want to feel but I just feel so overwhelmed with being sick all day long that I can't feel excited yet. This is the sickest I've felt in any previous pregnancy so it's not like I knew what to expect this time. The fatigue was unbearable for over a month but I'm getting bits of energy here and there and I can do some basic things like vacuum and tidy a little bit. 


Unlike previous pregnancies, my DH has been a total saint this time around. He's pampered me and has yet to make me feel an ounce of guilt. That does help a lot because I'm already beating myself up a ton for not being productive, not exercising and not being able to eat or feed my family healthy meals, etc. 


That all said, I cannot imagine doing this while nursing and caring for a little one. I did it in the past but I wasn't this sick. I was tired but not nauseous. I can't imagine how much harder that would be for me. 


Just a few more weeks....that's what I keep telling myself! 



Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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#5 of 9 Old 06-08-2011, 04:34 PM
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I'm 9 weeks along based on my first ultrasound yesterday, LMP dating had me further along at 10w, I'm finally starting to recover from all day nausea, along with every stomach complaint imaginable, constipation, bloating, heartburn. I can sympathize some, though this is my first pregnancy. In the first months of my pregnancy I was nanny to a two year old, and I could barely care for him. Along with my exhaustion and nausea, his behavior changed, becoming more clingy toward me, throwing tantrums. His parents were in the process of separating. He ended up watching a lot of pbs. He started Daycare at the beginning of June and it was such a relief. I can't imagine having to care full-time for another child. I'm sure you're doing the best you can.

Suddenly the past few days, I've felt better. I have energy. My nausea, though still triggered by certain smells, has eased considerably. I'm hoping as the next few weeks pass, I only feel better. So here's holding out hope for the 2nd trimester. I hope your symptoms give you relief soon.

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#6 of 9 Old 06-08-2011, 04:39 PM
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Sorry to hear you're feeling so sick. Try Vitamin B6. I know it sounds simplistic but it really can help. I've seen it make a big difference. Hugs to you.


Amy Hanson

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#7 of 9 Old 06-09-2011, 07:30 AM
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I felt very much the same way when I was pregnant with my DD. I had terrible m/s, could not work or keep up with all my classes. I hit 12 weeks and felt SO much better and what a difference it made mentally. Try the unisom/b6 combo if you can, it has helped me tremendously! I hope you feel better very soon.

Mama to AJS - 22, CRS -17 and forever in my heart GHAB 8/5/11/(18 weeks) angel2.gif

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#8 of 9 Old 06-09-2011, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
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OP here. Thanks everyone.  I nursed DD all night long last night, about every 45 minutes or so.  I actually ended up getting more sleep and feel much better today.  I was really in a state of despair from lack of sleep, but I can see that if I get a little more sleep, the days are more manageable.  I'm going to check out the unisom and B6.  Thanks again.

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#9 of 9 Old 06-11-2011, 03:42 AM
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I was reading my journal from my last pregnancy and discovered that it was right around 9 weeks that I thought I was going to lose it.  I felt awful, was so tired of feeling awful, couldn't believe it was going to last another 4-6 weeks, etc.  Of course I'm about 9 weeks now and I'm feeling pretty much the same way (so much for that every pg is different philosophy).  My son is 3 so at least I'm not dealing with the nursing at night, but he does end up in our bed most nights, thrashing around.  Between him, the cat and the dog last night I thought I was going to go sleep outside!  One of them was always making noise, moving around, scratching, crying, etc. all night long.  Then of course as soon as I wake up, I have to get up to pee, then get something to eat.  Hence I'm up an hour earlier than I would like to be this morn because I had to get up to eat!

I will say though that how fabulous I once the tides turned in the second trimester is something to look forward to!  Here's hoping for a speedy 1st trimester for us all!

treehugger.gifAP mama to lovable, energetic DS born 4/9/08, expecting #2 mid Jan 2012, wife to German Professor, friend to many. namaste.gif

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