Sad news... (but new, happy update #129) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 11:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I lost one of the twins two days ago...  brokenheart.gif

 

DH, DS, and DSS and I were on vacation with my mother.  We'd rented a cottage near Lake Michigan and were just planning on sitting on the beach, eating good food, and chilling out for a few days.  I'd still been spotting and having weird pains, but I talked to the nurse practitioner at my midwife practice before I left, and she had said there's really no reason not to go; we weren't sure why I was having complications, but I'm so early that there's not much to be done anyways in the event of problems.  I figured a little R&R would be a good thing, and hopefully I'd get rested up and start to feel a little better.  I just haven't felt good since I had that flu about 2 weeks ago.

 

We got there, and everything was pretty much business as usual til the second day.  I had a big gush of fluid at about 6 pm.  Looking back, it was amniotic fluid, but I'd been having so much discharge that I sort of dismissed that thought.  But later that night I started bleeding more and had two small contractions.  I passed Baby A at about 2:30 am on the 19th.  

 

We went to the hospital and took the baby with us.  They checked to see if they could determine gender, but he (I'm just going to call it a he) was so small that they couldn't be sure.  They took little impressions of his feet and photos for us and put it all together in a memory box.

 

I had an ultrasound there, and Baby B appeared to be doing fine.  There was still a heartbeat and plenty of amniotic fluid.  My cervix was also closed, which was a good thing.  I didn't appear to be in imminent danger of losing the other baby, but the doctor said that the prognosis just isn't good.  I guess when you lose one and actually give birth to it, the chances for having a successful pregnancy with the second baby go way down.  I'd heard of vanishing twin syndrome (and was oddly worried about it since finding out I was pregnant with twins), but I've not really heard of losing and birthing one but not the other.

 

I'm on my way home now.  We have an appointment with my midwife and ob tomorrow, then they'll decide whether or not they still want me to keep my specialist appointment that I had already scheduled.  When I spoke to the nurse practitioner on the phone, she said that she has heard of a successful, full-term pregnancy after the loss of one baby, but we just have to be very careful about infection.  I'm also worried because the hospital doc said I wasn't likely to lose the placenta until after I gave birth to the other baby (whether that be sooner or later), but I'm pretty sure I lost one piece on each of the past two nights...

 

I feel so strange.  I'm so sad about losing Baby A, but grateful that Baby B seems ok.  But I don't want to get my hopes up.  Even if everything still looks okay at the appointment tomorrow, I know I'll spend the rest of the pregnancy paranoid.  My weird pains are gone, but there was really no pain at all from the birthing process - not at all like my first miscarriage.  I'm still spotting, too.  It's like just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  *sigh*  I hate being pregnant...  I wish there was some way to know if my other baby will be okay.

 

Sorry this turned out so long...  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

 

 


Married to my loving hubby, proud mama to Ethan thumbsuck.gif (9/09) and Rowyn (7/12)slinggirl.gif  and aspiring homesteader chicken3.gif

Missing my twins, Owen and Sophia, born too soon, July 2011 angel2.gifangel3.gif

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#2 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 11:35 AM
 
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Oh, mama, I'm so so sorry to hear this.

 

So many warm, squishy, loving hugs to you.

 

Have you given Baby A a name?


Angela
Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
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#3 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 11:37 AM
 
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You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry :(


aj- married to JA and mami to Bug (11/09) and Critter (1/12)!

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#4 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 11:39 AM
 
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oh diana, i am holding you and all of your babies so closely in my heart.

 

i am so sorry.

 

stay put, baby b.  please be ok.

 

love to you, mama.


HCM- gentle, all-natural, unconditional mama to three boys (8,6,4) and new baby girl! baby.gif  goorganic.jpg bfinfant.gifhomeschool.gif

 

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#5 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 12:42 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss and will certainly keep you in my thoughts and prayers for health of you and the 2nd baby.


Erika, mama to three beautiful kids (plus one gestating), and wife to one fantastic man.

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#6 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 12:44 PM
 
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Oh no! I am on tears reading this update. greensad.gif. I am sending you healing vibes and lots of healthy stay put vibes for baby b. So, so sorry for your loss mama.

g

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
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#7 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 01:07 PM
 
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I am so very sorry, that's devastating. Praying for Baby B to stay healthy!


Kaitlyn - 21, single mother to an adorable baby girl born 1/18/2012 (:

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#8 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 01:57 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.  :(  You're in my thoughts.


Wife to Phil, Mom to Saoirse (3/09), and Niamh (1/12)  waterbirth.jpg.crochetsmilie.gif
 

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#9 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 01:58 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of one of your babies, mama.  greensad.gif    We will certainly keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

 

Take care my dear  hug.gif

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#10 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 04:54 PM
 
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I can't even imagine the pain and loss you are feeling, hugs and prayers for you and yours.


Sarah knit.gif married to Micah, mama to dd1 (9), dd2 (7) and ds (2). We love to homeschool.gif h20homebirth.gif goorganic.jpgchicken3.gif
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#11 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 05:27 PM
 
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You are in my thoughts and prayers, Diana. I am so sorry that happened to you. grouphug.gif


Dreamer, writer, wife, and mom to little guy baby.gif & my spirit babe candle.gif 

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#12 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 06:25 PM
 
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 Sending love and positive thoughts to baby B. I hope you and your family are doing alright.


Mama to AJS - 22, CRS -17 and forever in my heart GHAB 8/5/11/(18 weeks) angel2.gif

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#13 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 06:36 PM
 
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Oh no. I'm so sorry for your loss. How special that the hospital honored your baby's life in that way. I do know of one story---my friend was a twin and her mother lost her twin sister in the 2nd trimester and she went on to be born perfectly healthy. Hoping and praying for this outcome for baby B. hug2.gif


Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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#14 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 06:42 PM
 
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I saw this post from the front page, and feel like I'm crashing but here we go.

 

I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you must be feeling. But I do have a friend who was actually a triplet, and her mother lost one of the babies in the 2nd tri, and the other two went on just fine. Praying for you and Baby B. hug2.gif


, birth-working wife to   (06/2010).
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, July 2012. Waiting for our  sometime very soon.
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#15 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 06:43 PM
 
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I'm so sorry diana :(

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#16 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 08:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone. We are doing as well as can be expected, under the circumstances. I'm cautiously optimistic that Baby B will make it. Even though I'm still bleeding, it's nowhere near as much as a period or miscarriage, and I just felt the baby move a minute ago. Pray for a sticky baby!

Married to my loving hubby, proud mama to Ethan thumbsuck.gif (9/09) and Rowyn (7/12)slinggirl.gif  and aspiring homesteader chicken3.gif

Missing my twins, Owen and Sophia, born too soon, July 2011 angel2.gifangel3.gif

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#17 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 09:51 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. I'll be keeping your family & especially Baby B in my thoughts.


mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#18 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 10:01 PM
 
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.

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#19 of 162 Old 07-21-2011, 10:02 PM
 
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I am so sorry for you and your family. It is so difficult when you don't know...the pain of going through all the possible scenarios over and over is mind-numbing. I will pray for you, your family and the two little souls you created.

Thank you as well for the honour of allowing all of us to share in your journey. Even though I don't know you, there is something so special about being pregnant amongst a group of pregnant women.. So I sincerely hope and pray for the best possible outcome.

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#20 of 162 Old 07-22-2011, 06:19 AM
 
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Diana I'm so sorry.  I hope baby B and you stay strong and healthy and have a long pregnancy ahead of you. I'm sorry for the loss of your little baby boy.candle.gif


wife to my  love.gif, mom toenergy.gif, blahblah.gif, jog.gif, and 3rdtri.gif ! a person is a person, no matter how small.

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#21 of 162 Old 07-22-2011, 12:43 PM
 
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Diana I am so sorry for your loss.  I am sending serious "hang in there baby" thoughts to Baby B.  hug2.gif


Happy Wife Since '05 and NEW MOM! in '12

Om'ing to Peace

Blogging Now Too! Visit my Blog

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#22 of 162 Old 07-22-2011, 04:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay.  I saw both my OB and a maternal fetal medicine specialist this morning.  They just checked for a heartbeat at my OB appointment, and asked general questions about how I was doing, are we coping okay, etc.  He did find a heatbeat, though the baby was squirming so much that we couldn't get an accurate reading.

 

At the specialist, we had a very detailed ultrasound.  She checked the placenta, my cervix, the amniotic sac, and all major anatomy.  The placenta has blood flow to the entire organ, and my cervix appears to be closed.  They usually use a transvaginal ultrasound to check cervical stuff, but because of the risk of infection, just used the abdominal one.  Baby B is doing just fine, is still measuring about a week ahead, and shows no signs of being in any distress.   And, from what the tech saw, she is just about positive that Baby B is a little girl.  love.gif

 

The not-so-good news is that I could still miscarry at any time.  The specialist said that in 30 years of practice, he has seen this happen 5 times.  In one, the mother miscarried both twins 5 days apart at a little over 20 weeks.  I didn't ask what happened to the other 4.  He did say that if Baby B stays in there for 2 weeks after the birth of Baby A, he sees no reason why I couldn't and wouldn't carry til the baby is full term.  Basically, the longer the baby is in there, the less we can worry.  Right now it's just day by day.  There is still a significant risk of infection, but he doesn't want to suppress my immune system by arbitrarily ordering antibiotics.  He also said that everything looks nearly perfect physically, and that if he hadn't known I'd just miscarried a baby, there would be no indications that anything had happened.

 

So I guess it's about as good as it can be.  I'll take it.  Please, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  Stay in there Baby Girl!  praying.gif  fingersx.gif


Married to my loving hubby, proud mama to Ethan thumbsuck.gif (9/09) and Rowyn (7/12)slinggirl.gif  and aspiring homesteader chicken3.gif

Missing my twins, Owen and Sophia, born too soon, July 2011 angel2.gifangel3.gif

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#23 of 162 Old 07-22-2011, 04:21 PM
 
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diana, i have been thinking of you so very much these past days, and i will continue to hold you close in my heart.  i'm hoping with you, in each new day, that baby b stays healthy and sound.  i know you'll keep us posted.  grouphug.gif


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#24 of 162 Old 07-22-2011, 05:42 PM
 
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Great news that everything looks healthy and normal for Baby B!!! 


Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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#25 of 162 Old 07-22-2011, 06:27 PM
 
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Diana, I'm keeping you and your baby in my thoughts... Stay strong!!!


Happy housewife and mom to big Z, born at home 1/2012. m/c 07/14 @ 5w and happy to get back to trying!  
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#26 of 162 Old 07-22-2011, 07:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I love coming here to talk to you ladies...  grouphug.gif  I know I have my family and a few close friends, but coming here is like an instant support group.  And I don't have to repeat myself 18 times in order to tell 18 people, ykwim?  Talking to people IRL is difficult right now, because it seems like so many people are focused on the loss of one of the babies.  While I'm obviously really sad, I don't want to focus on that right now.  I'd much rather save my energy and stay positive to help my baby girl.  I'll mourn more later.  If I can just get through the next two weeks...  


Married to my loving hubby, proud mama to Ethan thumbsuck.gif (9/09) and Rowyn (7/12)slinggirl.gif  and aspiring homesteader chicken3.gif

Missing my twins, Owen and Sophia, born too soon, July 2011 angel2.gifangel3.gif

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#27 of 162 Old 07-22-2011, 07:38 PM
 
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Diana, all my thoughts are with you and my fingers are crossed. 


Wife to Phil, Mom to Saoirse (3/09), and Niamh (1/12)  waterbirth.jpg.crochetsmilie.gif
 

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#28 of 162 Old 07-22-2011, 08:20 PM
 
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So sorry to hear about the loss Diana, my heart breaks.  I only have one in my tummy and I am constantly worried (for no good reason) that something will happen. I can't imagine how much worse it is in your case and I am sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.

 

Hopefully Baby B has made herself nice and comfortable and isn't going anywhere!

 

If its any consolation, my brother in law was a twin.  His mother lost his brother unexpectedly when she was about four months along, but he hung tight in there until 40 weeks.

 

Happy thoughts your way!


Mother of one hyperactive little boy bouncy.gif(9/07) and expecting baby number 2 (Henry Magnus!) on January 25th.

 

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#29 of 162 Old 07-22-2011, 09:52 PM
 
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Diana--oh no, mama. I am so sorry! I hadn't been on mdc in a few days. . .I am so saddened to hear about this. But I am rooting for you and your little girl/Baby B.  I'll be thinking of you!  *hugs*


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#30 of 162 Old 07-23-2011, 06:23 AM
 
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I'm very sorry for your loss. 


Healthcare is a human right!
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