Routine 16 week appt....no heartbeat found. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 08:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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2 days ago, July 27 my dh and I went to our midwife for our routine 16 week appt.  To our complete shock, she could not find a heartbeat.  We did hear one at 12 weeks, so we felt safe that this baby was going to stick around.  She sent us to the hospital right away for ultrasound but it only confirmed our worst fears.  Our baby had died.  It seems it happened sometime in the past few days, as I was still measuring close to dates.  

 

Since I'm not having any spotting or cramping we decided to go home and absorb the news and help our children through the grief.  We're waiting the weekend and then revisit the idea of inducing next week.  

 

 

If anyone has any btdt advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.  I dont know what to expect or where to go from here.  It's hell.   

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#2 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 08:49 AM
 
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Oh my god.  I literally felt my heart hurting while reading this.  I'm so so sorry, mama.

 

I don't have any BTDT advice on this, but there is the "Pregnancy and Birth Loss" forum that should have others in your position.  Maybe posting there can help?

 

Much love to you.


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Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
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#3 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 08:51 AM
 
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Hugs to you and your family.  I can't imagine...


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#4 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 08:52 AM
 
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ddcc

that is heartbreaking.  i am so sorry for your loss.  hug2.gif 

i've only ever had early losses, so no btdt advice except that if you can still do a d & e at this point, it's really not horrible. 

i hope your recovery is swift.  best to you and your family.


Is it getting lonely in the echo chamber yet?

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#5 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 09:15 AM
 
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I am so sorry hug2.gif I can't imagine how much you are hurting.


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#6 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 09:30 AM
 
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my heart truly goes out to you.  i am so sorry.  no BTDT advice, but angela's recommendation to check out the P&BL forum is a good one.

 

i am so, so very sorry.


HCM- gentle, all-natural, unconditional mama to three boys (8,6,4) and new baby girl! baby.gif  goorganic.jpg bfinfant.gifhomeschool.gif

 

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#7 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 09:30 AM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you. grouphug.gif


Dreamer, writer, wife, and mom to little guy baby.gif & my spirit babe candle.gif 

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#8 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 09:36 AM
 
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candle.gifOh no! I'm so sorry you are going through the loss of your baby. It is hell to lose a child at any stage or age.  My only advice is homeopathic Ignatia would be really helpful for you. My miscarriage didn't complete until I took a dose of Ignatia (I was going on almost a month of spotting and still getting dark +HPTs). Within 2 days of the Ignatia, I passed everything and 2 days later had a -HPT (and got pregnant again the next week!). PM me for more info (I practice homeopathy). Big hugs and lots of love to you. May you find comfort in your partner, children, family and friends during this time. 


Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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#9 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 11:32 AM
 
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Praying for you, dear mama, and your family. hug2.gif


aj- married to JA and mami to Bug (11/09) and Critter (1/12)!

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#10 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 11:52 AM
 
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DDCC... I saw this on the main page and my heart sunk. I am SO sorry greensad.gif

 

When you feel ready, please do check out the loss forum. It was an amazing source of support for me during the worst time in my life. I could not have gotten by without those ladies.

 

 

Quote:
If anyone has any btdt advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.  I dont know what to expect or where to go from here.  It's hell.  

 

 

The same thing happened to me with my daughter at 17 weeks. We had heard the heartbeat at 13 weeks, felt good because we were in the "safe zone", went in for a routine check at 17w, and she was just gone. Time stopped. It was... hell. exactly.

 

I was given the option of d&c or induction, and I chose to be induced a day after we found out, and birthed her the day after that. I am so glad I chose to go that route because we got to hold her and spend precious time with her... She was beautiful; fit perfectly in the palm of our hands. We got pictures, her height and weight, footprints, & other keepsakes. We were also able to have her cremated at that point, and get a beautiful, tiny urn as well as necklaces that hold a bit of her ashes. It was very healing for me during that time.

 

 I don't want to overwhelm you with details right now. I know how hard it is to even be in your head at a time like this... so if you need anything... have questions of any kind... feel free to PM me, ask here, anything!!

 

Sending you much healing and peace grouphug.gif

 


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#11 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 02:34 PM
 
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Oh my gosh..I am so so so so sorry to read this. This makes me all the more worried. ): I can't imagine how you feel and have no words of advice..just prayers for you and hope that you find peace somewhere ): So sorry..


Kaitlyn - 21, single mother to an adorable baby girl born 1/18/2012 (:

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#12 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 02:39 PM
 
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I am so sorry to hear this.  My prayers are with you and your family. hug2.gif


Happy Wife Since '05 and NEW MOM! in '12

Om'ing to Peace

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#13 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 02:44 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss.


mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#14 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 02:53 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss :(.  Wishing you peace and healing...

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#15 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 04:28 PM
 
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I am so, so sorry.... It's just awful to have this happen after you feel so confident that things will be okay.  I lost a baby in October at 16 weeks.  The baby made it a little past 12 weeks.  I decided to have a natural miscarriage at home.  It was also very healing for me... to go through the labor, to see him, to bury him.  It was painful, but so, so helpful.  I feel okay about things now and I feel like it is completely due to having to go through the process then.  I feel like I grieved it head on and then when it was over I had more peace about it.  The D&C would have left me confused, I feel, so to go through the natural experience of it was the best option for me.

I think it is important to take time and be patient with yourself.  Know that you are strong and feel whatever you need to feel.  Again, I am so sorry for your loss and am sending healing thoughts your way.

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#16 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 06:07 PM
 
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Oh no! I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice, I wish I did. I think you did the right thing, not rushing into a decision.

My thoughts are with you and your angel.
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#17 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 08:04 PM
 
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I am so so very sorry for your loss!!  This is one of my greatest fears this pregnancy and to know that you are going through it breaks my heart.  No words I can express can be comfort enough.  Thoughts and prayers are with you!


Mother of one hyperactive little boy bouncy.gif(9/07) and expecting baby number 2 (Henry Magnus!) on January 25th.

 

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#18 of 43 Old 07-29-2011, 08:43 PM
 
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I am so so sorry for your loss... I know you must be devastated.

 

I had a miscarriage in February at 14 weeks, baby had died around 10. I had a natural miscarriage at home, but it did take 4 weeks after the baby died for it to start. It was hard because my OB really didn't tell me what to expect, and I ended up passing the placenta one week and the baby a week after that. It was definitely very healing to be able to bury my baby though.

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#19 of 43 Old 07-30-2011, 01:03 PM
 
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Oh I am so sorry hun. I have no words of btdt but wanted to express my condolences and offer support and hugs.


Navy wife, mama of 3 girls, 3 boys, 2 kitties and wanting more. No vax, no circ, trying to live as natural as  we can. We are working on it
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#20 of 43 Old 07-30-2011, 02:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vermillion View Post

I was given the option of d&c or induction, and I chose to be induced a day after we found out, and birthed her the day after that. I am so glad I chose to go that route because we got to hold her and spend precious time with her... She was beautiful; fit perfectly in the palm of our hands. We got pictures, her height and weight, footprints, & other keepsakes. We were also able to have her cremated at that point, and get a beautiful, tiny urn as well as necklaces that hold a bit of her ashes. It was very healing for me during that time.

 

 I don't want to overwhelm you with details right now. I know how hard it is to even be in your head at a time like this... so if you need anything... have questions of any kind... feel free to PM me, ask here, anything!!

 

Sending you much healing and peace grouphug.gif

 


This.  I just lost twins, one at 16 weeks and the other 10 days later.  It is hell.  But I birthed both babies, and even thought that was its own type of misery, I think it's therapeutic as well.  Letting my body feel the pain of birth helps me to externalize the pain I feel inside.  Part of me wanted to have a D&C just to be done, but I'm glad I chose to give birth.  It's also nice to have the hospital keepsakes.  We had family in to see and hold our baby girl, and it helps me to know that everyone knows I had a baby not "just a miscarriage".  We also have photos, casts of both babies' hand and footprints, actual footprints, and other little mementos.  We're also having both babies cremated (many funeral homes will do this for free) and will scatter their ashes in a small family ceremony.  

 

If you do chose to have a D&C, I've heard that you can still have the baby's remains sent to be cremated.  Talk to your doc or midwife about this.

 

I'm so very sorry that you are going through this.  I hope you can eventually find healing and peace.  hug2.gif

 

ETA: As far as what to expect physically, if you're induced, it's basically a mini-labor.  You'll have contractions, and your cervix will need to dilate to a 4 or 5 to allow baby and placenta to come out.  I was induced with Cytotec.  It took about 4 hours, though I'd started miscarrying on my own before that.  My midwife warned me before induction that it may take several doses (they are administered 4 hrs apart).  Afterwards, there was very little pain or bleeding.  As far as I know, you can take Cytotec at home.  I was in the hospital for other complications, but if my situation had been different, I may have chosen to birth privately or with just my midwife in attendance.

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#21 of 43 Old 07-31-2011, 10:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for taking the time to respond and lend support and information.  Especially to those of you who have recently suffered your own losses.  The women on this board never cease to amaze me with the strength and courage and support thats available for virtual strangers.  It makes me cry, but in a very great way. grouphug.gif

 

 

I'd like to wait for my body to go naturally, but I dont think i can emotionally take much more waiting.  My body seems to be starting, I've had some light pink spotting and the occasional dark brown/red stuff (more discharge than bleeding) and some lower backaches.  I could feel my cervix 2 days ago and it was slightly open, but today its nowhere to be found.  (I'm hoping this isnt tmi?) I just dont think I can do weeks of this.  I may go in to be induced as early as tomorrow.  I'll have to see where my head is at.  My dh is not ready at all, he'd rather wait until tuesday, but respects my emotional needs.  The meds the midwife mentioned started with "M", it wasnt cytotec.  Any Canadians know what we use?  I suppose I could call and ask, but I'd rather not yet.  

 

I do really want to be able to hold my baby.  Dh as well.  And let the kids as well (if they feel up to it).   I've knitted a wee hat, and sewed a wee blanket.  I've heard the hospitals usually supply them, but I feel like since I make things for my kids, things shouldnt be any different for this one.  

 

Thanks again to everyone. grouphug.gif  

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#22 of 43 Old 07-31-2011, 12:15 PM
 
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Was it misoprostol? If so, that is cytotec.

 

Your little hat and blanket sound so sweet. Wishing you much peace and healing in whichever path you decide to take hug2.gif


Liz om.gif Lovin' DH partners.gif DS (12) coolshine.gif and forever missing DD angel3.gif (12/02/07) ribbonpb.gif
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#23 of 43 Old 07-31-2011, 03:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yep, misoprostol.  I guess just different names?  

 

Thanks again.  :)

 

 

 

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#24 of 43 Old 07-31-2011, 07:02 PM
 
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Your knitted pieces sound really lovely for your babe.  If you feel like sharing, I'd love to know the name you pick for him or her.

 

Wishing you love during this time.


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Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
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#25 of 43 Old 07-31-2011, 07:27 PM
 
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i think that cytotec is the retail name of the drug, and misoprostol is the name of the pharmaceutical itself- like tylenol is the name we know for acetaminophen.  but it's not really important.

 

i am thinking of you, and i am so sorry you're having to make a decision like this.  please feel the support of so many people here.  i wish you peace, when the time is right for that, and strength to birth your baby.


HCM- gentle, all-natural, unconditional mama to three boys (8,6,4) and new baby girl! baby.gif  goorganic.jpg bfinfant.gifhomeschool.gif

 

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#26 of 43 Old 07-31-2011, 07:38 PM
 
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My heart goes out to you and your family. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.


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#27 of 43 Old 07-31-2011, 09:09 PM
 
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You might be relieved to hear that the birth of the baby I lost was not long after spotting and cramping similar to what you are describing.  Hopefully, you won't have to wait much longer and you can begin to heal.  I know the awful pain of waiting.  For me it was just like labor with my son, only shorter. Contractions lasted about 6 hours.  It was awful but I agree wholeheartedly with Diana about the external pain giving validity to the internal pain.  It was important to my healing.  I hope it comes quickly for you... and I hope you are surrounded by loving caring people willing to help.  You will need the help for the recovery. 

Feel free to ask or send me a message if you have any questions or are wondering anything about the process.  Feel free to ask anything at all... I felt as though I was desperate for information about this painful, horrible thing I was inevitably in store for and was coming up short.  We need to share these stories with each other and give support.  Many of us have been through this even though many don't want to talk about it. 

You are strong and you will make it through. I am sending you thoughts of healing and hope you quickly find peace.

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#28 of 43 Old 07-31-2011, 10:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonSnail View Post

You might be relieved to hear that the birth of the baby I lost was not long after spotting and cramping similar to what you are describing.  Hopefully, you won't have to wait much longer and you can begin to heal.  I know the awful pain of waiting.  For me it was just like labor with my son, only shorter. Contractions lasted about 6 hours.  It was awful but I agree wholeheartedly with Diana about the external pain giving validity to the internal pain.  It was important to my healing.  I hope it comes quickly for you... and I hope you are surrounded by loving caring people willing to help.  You will need the help for the recovery. 

Feel free to ask or send me a message if you have any questions or are wondering anything about the process.  Feel free to ask anything at all... I felt as though I was desperate for information about this painful, horrible thing I was inevitably in store for and was coming up short.  We need to share these stories with each other and give support.  Many of us have been through this even though many don't want to talk about it. 

You are strong and you will make it through. I am sending you thoughts of healing and hope you quickly find peace.


I guess I do have a btdt, I had a loss at 14 weeks. I was 24 and it was a molar pregnancy. I honestly did not want to see the remains and I had a lot of fear surrounding that experience. I had a d +c as soon as I could, and requested a general so I would not hear anything. . I'm 38 now and I still don't know what I would do now. It is an extremely and intimately personal decision and you should allow yourself to follow your instincts as to what is best for you.
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#29 of 43 Old 08-01-2011, 08:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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MoonSnail, thank you, yes, that does give me hope and makes me feel better.  I'll be sending you a pm shortly if you dont mind, your post said everything thats been going thru my mind right now.  

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#30 of 43 Old 08-01-2011, 10:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonSnail View Post

Feel free to ask or send me a message if you have any questions or are wondering anything about the process.  Feel free to ask anything at all... I felt as though I was desperate for information about this painful, horrible thing I was inevitably in store for and was coming up short.  We need to share these stories with each other and give support.  Many of us have been through this even though many don't want to talk about it.



Same goes for me.  If you need someone to talk to before, during, or after, please shoot me a PM.  It seems that most of the information out there is for early loss.  A second trimester loss is a completely different thing, or at least it was for me.


Married to my loving hubby, proud mama to Ethan thumbsuck.gif (9/09) and Rowyn (7/12)slinggirl.gif  and aspiring homesteader chicken3.gif

Missing my twins, Owen and Sophia, born too soon, July 2011 angel2.gifangel3.gif

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