Should I tell them I'm pregnant? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 07:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey all, quick question...

I got a call back for a second interview from an employer at the first interview I didn't tell them I was pregnant (which I think was about a month ago now..yeah don't ask why the long wait..lol) but now I'm 5 months along and I'm not sure if I should use this 2nd interview to tell them..so any opinions would be appreciated. I partially feel like if I don't tell them in the interviewing process and then a week later after getting the job being like 'oh hey by the way I'm 5 months pregnant' I don't want them to feel cheated...but I also don't want to lose out on the job either..


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#2 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 07:46 AM
 
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If it's not obvious, I wouldn't mention it until I got (and accepted; so after negotiations are complete) an offer.  I worked in HR for a lot of years and I can tell you that right or wrong, legal or not, A LOT of hiring managers would find a reason to hire someone else if they found out you were pregnant.  It's unfortunate, but the way the business world works.  So I would suggest keeping it to yourself throughout the interview process smile.gif

 

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#3 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 07:58 AM
 
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See I would tell them, but that is just me. I think if you omit telling them it makes you look like you are starting out on a bad foot already. At my work I help schedule and fill in for people when they take a leave and if they truly think you are the best person for the job they will still hire you. But I think its impoertant to let your employer know what is going on, especially if its a job you want to stay at for a long period of time.

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#4 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 08:27 AM
 
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Congrats on your call-back!  That's really exciting.

 

I was/am still in the same position and decided to keep it to myself during the interview (I wasn't showing), but bring it up when they offered the job.  This is because (1) the jobs have a 6 month probationary period that will still be in effect when I'm due, (2) you have to work for an employer for 1 year before qualifying for FMLA and that's something that I definitely want, (3) I'll only have 2 days of sick leave when I'm due and no annual leave, and (4) I'd like to be able to go part time for a while after leave.  Technically, (and I think especially if we started off on the wrong foot) they could just get rid of me within my probationary period even if I accepted their offer.

 

Telling them when they make the offer means we can negotiate on this stuff and I can get in writing that they will honor my leave.  I also don't have to feel like I'm hiding something from my new employer or feel like I'm leaving them in a tight spot when the time comes.  By law, you don't have to tell them and they can't make hiring decisions based on your pregnancy so I don't think you should feel bad if you decide not to.  It's awkward, isn't it?  The good news is that I have revealed my pregnancy twice and in both cases was able to negotiate concessions - so in my career area at least this strategy works.  In both cases I decided the jobs weren't a good enough reason to not stay at home, but I'm still looking for the right job.  I expect it will get harder and harder the closer December/January gets.

 

Good luck!

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#5 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 12:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know you've all been waiting in suspense (; I told her..and she didn't even bat an eye. She said in a very lighthearted way 'at least you aren't 16 (as if to comfort my situation..lol)' and also said that it's no big deal, I have my foot in the door and regardless of how much time I want off after the baby gets here I'll still have my job. The pay sucks but I'm pretty sure that totally just made up for it. What a relief! They're willing to work around a school AND baby schedule..thank GOD for that! Thanks for all the advice I really appreciate it! Oh and it's sooo close to..like literally 2 miles down the road close.

 

16 or not I still feel totally unprepared but I can't even imagine being pregnant at 16 now..I'm 21 and still can't believe it's happening lmbo. 


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#6 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 12:48 PM
 
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Good for you, Kaitlyn! What sort of job is it?

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#7 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 12:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh my it's nothing special, I'll be starting out as a cashier at a discount grocery store. But it's something, and it's really something they are willing to work around my doctor's appointments, school schedule, and time off after the baby gets here and that really really counts to me and takes a big load off my shoulders. My overhead (gas to get there and back) will be low and they aren't open very late so if I do get stuck working at night it won't be too late. (: So I'm most definitely grateful for that. 


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#8 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 01:02 PM
 
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The fact that they're working with your schedule and baby speaks volumes. smile.gif

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#9 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 01:38 PM
 
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Congrats! It sounds like a good setup for you.


Dreamer, writer, wife, and mom to little guy baby.gif & my spirit babe candle.gif 

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#10 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 06:10 PM
 
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I have to admit I wouldn't say a word until I had a signed job offer.  It's illegal for them to discriminate on the basis of pregnancy but that doesn't mean they can't just blow it off as "well we had many qualified applicants blah blah blah."  It's a tough enough job market out there, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the potential job offer.  I would definitely feel really bad about it though and really sympathize with your dilemma, it's not an easy spot to be in.

 

 

ETA I didn't see your update, I'm glad it went really well and that it doesn't seem to be a problem. What a great boss!


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#11 of 11 Old 08-24-2011, 07:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeanSprout Mama View Post

I have to admit I wouldn't say a word until I had a signed job offer.  It's illegal for them to discriminate on the basis of pregnancy but that doesn't mean they can't just blow it off as "well we had many qualified applicants blah blah blah."  It's a tough enough job market out there, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the potential job offer.  I would definitely feel really bad about it though and really sympathize with your dilemma, it's not an easy spot to be in.

 

 

Same here...but I think I became cynical after working in HR in the corporate world for so many years!  eyesroll.gif

 

Glad it worked out, Kaitlyn!
 

 

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