November Chat Thread - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-06-2011, 05:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
writinglove's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 642
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hey all, I'm taking the plunge and starting the November chat. This is a place where you can talk about anything and everything that is on your mind.

 

We are on the homestretch. What are your thoughts turning to these days?


Dreamer, writer, wife, and mom to little guy baby.gif & my spirit babe candle.gif 

namaste.gif treehugger.gif goorganic.jpg whale.gifdog2.gifcat.gif

writinglove is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-06-2011, 05:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
writinglove's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 642
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My in-laws were in town for the weekend, and can I just say that it is good to be back in the 21st century with you lot. I was getting really tired of 1970s child rearing advice. Ugh.

 

I know it takes all kinds to make the world turn, but some days it is nice to be surrounded by like minds. thumb.gif


Dreamer, writer, wife, and mom to little guy baby.gif & my spirit babe candle.gif 

namaste.gif treehugger.gif goorganic.jpg whale.gifdog2.gifcat.gif

writinglove is offline  
Old 11-06-2011, 08:15 PM
 
cedarwoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Vancouver Island
Posts: 339
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Lol I hear ya! I don't have the energy right now to explain my choices to anyone really, so there's a lot of smiling and nodding going on (especially with strangers). I've been poking around mothering.com an awful lot these days

 

I don't have the energy for much lately... I'm feeling 'psychically' tired, like I although I *could* car about this and that I just really don't want to make the effort. Hasn't been great for the rest of life, but damn am I full of answers now when it come to cloth diapers!

 

My maternity clothes are starting not to fit (the pants are too tight and the shirts don't quite cover my belly) so the humbling of my former self who enjoyed clothing continues... and my shoes are starting *just* not to fit, so I've been wearing my rubber boots a lot with a 1970s ankle length wool coat, the only thing keeping me even reasonably warm. I'm proud to say that I'm pulling it off ;)

 

I've stopped one job (this is a good thing) with another coming off the agenda mid-November... then school ends December 1st. I don't have any close friends here and right now I am really not called to socialize, paradoxically, so I guess that is not helping! I kind of want to have one person at a time over for tea, but on the other hand don't really want to talk to anyone either. I do like being alone but I guess sometimes it's a fine line between 'alone' and 'lonely'. Half the problem is that I often need to use my free time to nap so I cancel social engagements for that. 

 

Still having a lot of BH contractions, trying not to worry... but thinking of getting a cervical check at my next mw appt just to put my mind at ease! Now they are starting to make my belly form into all these weird bumps (I guess baby parts sometimes) which is adding to my feeling oh-so-not-sexy. DH isn't even going for it in my dreams these days :P

 

 

 

 

 


Weaving, knitting mama of one beautiful daughter born at home,  reading.gif and yoga teacher namaste.gif planning a homebirth.jpg with our second, due mid-january. Trying to crochetsmilie.gif & sewmachine.gif & notes.gif more... We like to fly-by-nursing1.giffamilybed1.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

cedarwoman is offline  
Old 11-06-2011, 08:16 PM
 
cedarwoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Vancouver Island
Posts: 339
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm trying to feel all 'earth-mama-goddess' here and it's not going overly well! 


Weaving, knitting mama of one beautiful daughter born at home,  reading.gif and yoga teacher namaste.gif planning a homebirth.jpg with our second, due mid-january. Trying to crochetsmilie.gif & sewmachine.gif & notes.gif more... We like to fly-by-nursing1.giffamilybed1.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

cedarwoman is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 07:11 AM
 
wombjuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,775
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Well, I suppose I may as well vent a little...gotta get it out sometime, eh? orngtongue.gif

 

So my baby shower party thingie is this weekend, and we registered on Amazon because, well, there's really nothing that we want in any other stores.  Now, I'm not all that concerned because we've got everything we really 'need' for the baby (breasts, clothes, blankets, car seat, sling/wrap)...but it took me a long time to make that registry and I put a lot of thought and care into it.  It's mostly lots of books (we're trying to start a little kid's library for our future family), some kid's lullabies and CD's, and some wooden and organic toys.  The website link to the registry was in our emailed invitations, so everybody that got invited knew about it.

 

Anyway, like I said, the party is this weekend, and nobody has bought ANYTHING from our baby registry. greensad.gif  I'm trying not to be so sad about it, but I can't help it.  I know what's going to happen...people have waited til the last minute, they're gonna be all "Oh crap!  Her baby shower is Saturday!  Need to run to Wal-Mart/Target/BabiesRUs to get [this thing that they don't want or need but I think it's cute so I'll buy it anyway]!!"  I'm really upset about this.  Especially because if they do remember to give gift receipts, I'll only be able to use it for store credit, and there's literally nothing at these major stores that we want/need for the baby.

 

So yeah...that's my vent for the day.  It could be worse, I guess...but it's still making me feel like crap. gloomy.gif


Sprat , Certified Professional Midwife, loved very much by Sprig , the most open-minded, loving, gentle man in the world, little Sprout and now someone new! on begins with .
wombjuice is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 07:32 AM
 
softlysinging's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 169
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

they sell kids' books at all of those major retailers.  and if all you have on your registry is books and wooden toys, it doesn't sound like there's a lot that you "need" for the baby on it anyway?  buy other things at those stores if you end up getting store credit there.

 

people do wait until the last minute, but they could also look at the amazon registry and then go to barnes & noble or target or wherever, and still find things you have registered for.  

softlysinging is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 07:33 AM
 
coldandsleepy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
Posts: 763
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

It's so funny to me how different this pregnancy is from my first one.  By this time around last time, I had SO many physical complaints.  I felt like I was descending into the inner circles of physical hell.  :P 

 

This time?  I still feel overall really good.  I am still having trouble with pulling muscles in my pelvis constantly, and had horrible leg cramps in the middle of the night the other night.  I think this little guy hasn't found a position he's 100% happy with yet because he still flops around pretty dramatically and on some days he's in this horrible position that totally crushes my stomach and makes me spit up acid all day.  He spent most of this weekend in what felt like an almost diagonal position... jabbing my hip bone on one side and ramming my rib cage on the other side at the same time.  I guess I have an idea of exactly how long he is, heh.

 

Anyway, I don't have much in the way of physical complaints.  Mentally, I just can't even really think about the reality of having a second baby yet.  I keep thinking I need to pull out the boxes of my older son's baby clothes and sort through them, make sure the 0-3 stuff is together and easily accessible and not musty smelling, etc... maybe strip the diapers just in case they have old residue on them... etc.  But I feel so tired just thinking about it that I keep putting it off. 


Mother of two great little guys, G (9/28/09) and W (1/20/12)

coldandsleepy is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 07:34 AM
 
lactatinggirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Roy, Utah
Posts: 940
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombjuice View Post

Well, I suppose I may as well vent a little...gotta get it out sometime, eh? orngtongue.gif

 

So my baby shower party thingie is this weekend, and we registered on Amazon because, well, there's really nothing that we want in any other stores.  Now, I'm not all that concerned because we've got everything we really 'need' for the baby (breasts, clothes, blankets, car seat, sling/wrap)...but it took me a long time to make that registry and I put a lot of thought and care into it.  It's mostly lots of books (we're trying to start a little kid's library for our future family), some kid's lullabies and CD's, and some wooden and organic toys.  The website link to the registry was in our emailed invitations, so everybody that got invited knew about it.

 

Anyway, like I said, the party is this weekend, and nobody has bought ANYTHING from our baby registry. greensad.gif  I'm trying not to be so sad about it, but I can't help it.  I know what's going to happen...people have waited til the last minute, they're gonna be all "Oh crap!  Her baby shower is Saturday!  Need to run to Wal-Mart/Target/BabiesRUs to get [this thing that they don't want or need but I think it's cute so I'll buy it anyway]!!"  I'm really upset about this.  Especially because if they do remember to give gift receipts, I'll only be able to use it for store credit, and there's literally nothing at these major stores that we want/need for the baby.

 

So yeah...that's my vent for the day.  It could be worse, I guess...but it's still making me feel like crap. gloomy.gif


Even having done my baby registry at one of those big box stores last time around, people still mostly bought what they wanted. You'd hope that they'd at least LOOK at the registry and see what kind of stuff you'd like, but people are silly. I didn't register for a single item of clothing because I figured people will buy what they want anyway and, oh my goodness, I was right. I think we got about 6 0-3 months dresses! Seriously, what 0-3 month girl is going to wear that many dresses? And poofy ones too!


Superherolactivist.gif and mother to Peanut (03/20/09) and Twig (01/20/2012). Fighting for the rights of mothers out there who winner.jpg selectivevax.gif fly-by-nursing2.giffemalesling.GIFfamilybed1.gifhomebirth.jpg and much more! mdcblog5.gif 
 
 
 
    

lactatinggirl is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 07:39 AM
 
lactatinggirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Roy, Utah
Posts: 940
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Forgot to post my own stuff. :-P

 

Feeling incredibly tired lately. I'm often picking up my daughter from preschool early so I can take her home and nap with her, then I end up going to bed at 9 or 10 too. It's alright though because I know that it's what my body needs right now.

 

I'm also finding it difficult to even get out of the house. My daughter goes to preschool five days a week and I have class 3 of those days. I did this on purpose so that I would have time to study on the other two days. I'm finding it really difficult to even get her to preschool on the two days that I don't have class and I've skipped my last class to pick her up early (re previous paragraph) more than once. I just can't get myself to stay in the school mindset. Too tired and huge and I just don't want to anymore. Luckily once this semester is over I'm not going on campus for school for a year and a half.

 

I also feel like I have forever to go in the pregnancy. Yeah, I'm in the third trimester. Everyone keeps saying "oh you only have a couple of months left!", but for me that couple of months is finishing school and Thanksgiving and Christmas. It just feels like it's far away. Part of me is ready for the baby to be here (not literally, of course, because I'm only 30 weeks) and part of me feels like it's so much easier when they're inside so it should stay there!


Superherolactivist.gif and mother to Peanut (03/20/09) and Twig (01/20/2012). Fighting for the rights of mothers out there who winner.jpg selectivevax.gif fly-by-nursing2.giffemalesling.GIFfamilybed1.gifhomebirth.jpg and much more! mdcblog5.gif 
 
 
 
    

lactatinggirl is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 08:40 AM
 
montessorimama1's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 787
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)

It's comforting to see that many of us are going through the same things! 

 

cedarwoman - I'm so glad you slowed down your work load, your baby will thank you!  Ahhh, the shoes... My shoes don't fit either, so now I am sporting my uber-sexy Merell fur-lined clogs everywhere I go (did I mention they're three years old and majorly scuffed?).  And the shirts that won't go over the tummy are such a hot look this year, according to me!  None of my workout gear fits anymore (perhaps a sign that I should stop working out, haha). 

 

wombjuice - I feel exactly the same way you do regarding the registry... I've consoled myself by thinking that I can use the store credit for when it's time to give a baby shower or birthday present to someone who is more mainstream.  We still have $60 of store credit at Babies R' Us, which is where my godmother took me (against my will) to get everything she thought the baby would need, and which I ended up returning for store credit.  We also haven't received any gifts for the baby, and I KNOW it's because they're waiting to find out the baby's gender and then they're going to get me horrible pink crap!!  Argh!!

 

AFM, not sleeping sucks, and nobody told this baby (or my husband or dogs for that matter) that changing the clock back one hour means I still get to sleep until 7am, not wake up at 6am (which was the old 7).  6am on the dot, wham!  Major kicking starts... I guess I shouldn't be complaining, it's kind of cute to feel a foot sticking out the side of my belly.

 

On the out-of-town visitor front, we have visitors every weekend: my MIL coming this weekend, my parents the following weekend, friends from Italy for Thanksgiving, and my SIL (the nice one) the first weekend of December.  What the...???  I guess everyone got the memo that I don't want to see them after the baby comes, so they're all lining up to visit now!  The last time I vacuumed and mopped for visitors I threw out my back and limped around for two days.  I wish I had the money to hire a maid... Let the dog hair tumbleweeds float around the house, is what I say.

 

Here's a question: Anybody else find it difficult to get intimate with their husband while baby is kicking away inside?  I'm as open-minded as the next girl, but it throws me for a loop and dampens what little libido I have left.  It's bad enough that I don't want to be touched anywhere that DH is interested in touching... One more thing nobody told me about pregnancy.  grrr...

 

 


Me (38), DH (47) and big Z (2 1/2)
m/c 07/14 and Baby EDD: 5/24/15! Stick, baby, stick!

montessorimama1 is online now  
Old 11-07-2011, 08:51 AM
 
AfricanQueen99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,651
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I wouldn't worry about getting stuff from BRU/Target/Walmart/etc.  You will be able to use the store credit.  Things just pop up that you'll need and then it's free which is a total bonus.  Carseats, bottles so you can leave the babe with someone to run to an appointment, books, etc.

 

AFM - I'm trying to get my house in order (moving the office to the first floor so that room can be a nursery, getting my kitchen all together so it will make me happy to use it, organizing my kids' clothes so I don't have to worry about it later, washing up the car seat stuff, wrapping the "sibling gifts" - in our life the babe gives siblings a gift when they first meet - etc).  I'm also putting together our Disney trip (taking our five year old for the first time as just a "three of us" trip with the little man at home) - we leave in less than two weeks!

 

Not baby related, but I'd like to say that I freaking want to seriously hurt the person that invented daylight savings time.  Yesterday might have been one of the worst days of my life and it all stemmed from too little sleep and two exhausted kids.  Blah!  I actually put both kids to bed last night at 6:30p!...which is hours before their usual time.


Angela
Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
AfricanQueen99 is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 10:55 AM
 
rtjunker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 187
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I understand about the baby registry, but I bit the bullet and just registered at BRU because I couldn't foresee most of the people I know ordering gifts via amazon. My family and DH's family are more the run to the store a few days or the day of the party kind of people.The problem is most of the items I would use from BRU can only be ordered online, which is something I'm not sure people will do, so I figure lots of returns for store credit to buy some of the larger items I want, like the dark brown ergo carrier.

 

Luckily I also have a large natural parenting group of mom friends, though it's only in the past few years we've gone from arty crafty friends to moms. These women have made me feel so lucky in the past few months, offering support and hand me downs. Yesterday I went to a baby clothes swap, I had nothing to swap except a bottle of wine I'd bought pre-pregnancy. I left with two carriers, a Moby wrap, and a really nice ring sling, dozens of newborn prefolds, several diaper covers, some fitted diapers, and enough clothes to last a year. Plus the promise of a carseat, a crib, and future hand me downs of cloth diapers and almost anything else I need. And the sense of community from spending an afternoon with amazing women who offer so much encouragement and support for the parenting choices I plan to make, or am unsure of. I'm amazed at the generosity of people. I've spent almost no money, but have much of what I need. I'm feeling blessed today.

 

 

rtjunker is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 11:40 AM
 
wombjuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,775
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Unfortunately, the books I have registered for are definitely not sold at Wal-Mart, Target, or Babies R Us...they may be at the bigger bookstores...I didn't think about that.  I am very particular about children's books and the messages they convey, so the books I've registered for have very peaceful/gentle messages and no "Timmy learned his lesson the hard way." stuff.  It's just our personal preference.

 

No, there's not a lot of stuff we "need" for the baby...like I said in my post above, I've already got everything we truly need (breasts, used clothes that friends gave me, a carseat, and a wrap/sling), but since my  husband and I are both students living strictly off of student loans, it would be nice to have some toys for when the baby gets a bit older, since we won't be able to afford to buy them ourselves.

 

The problem with store credit is that we simply do not shop at places like Wal-Mart and Target.  I refuse to support that kind of capitalism.  Obviously, I'm not going to just throw things away and will definitely return the items we don't want...but it sucks that I'll have no choice other than to support those ginormous conglomerate businesses.

 

And really...I just wanted to vent a little and thought some of the ladies here would understand.  It's probably just the pregnancy hormones. *shrug*
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by softlysinging View Post

they sell kids' books at all of those major retailers.  and if all you have on your registry is books and wooden toys, it doesn't sound like there's a lot that you "need" for the baby on it anyway?  buy other things at those stores if you end up getting store credit there.

 

people do wait until the last minute, but they could also look at the amazon registry and then go to barnes & noble or target or wherever, and still find things you have registered for.  



 


Sprat , Certified Professional Midwife, loved very much by Sprig , the most open-minded, loving, gentle man in the world, little Sprout and now someone new! on begins with .
wombjuice is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 11:42 AM
 
wombjuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,775
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

This is so awesome!!!  What a great community!! love.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by rtjunker View Post
Luckily I also have a large natural parenting group of mom friends, though it's only in the past few years we've gone from arty crafty friends to moms. These women have made me feel so lucky in the past few months, offering support and hand me downs. Yesterday I went to a baby clothes swap, I had nothing to swap except a bottle of wine I'd bought pre-pregnancy. I left with two carriers, a Moby wrap, and a really nice ring sling, dozens of newborn prefolds, several diaper covers, some fitted diapers, and enough clothes to last a year. Plus the promise of a carseat, a crib, and future hand me downs of cloth diapers and almost anything else I need. And the sense of community from spending an afternoon with amazing women who offer so much encouragement and support for the parenting choices I plan to make, or am unsure of. I'm amazed at the generosity of people. I've spent almost no money, but have much of what I need. I'm feeling blessed today.

 

 



 


Sprat , Certified Professional Midwife, loved very much by Sprig , the most open-minded, loving, gentle man in the world, little Sprout and now someone new! on begins with .
wombjuice is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 12:59 PM
 
futuremamaheather's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 561
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I understand where you're coming from. I have the amazon list of stuff we really want and need (lots of it was added via the universal add button from other websites) and the BRU list that has fewer items - mostly duplicates from the amazon list - because that store simply doesn't carry the types of items we are interested in. But crib sized flannel sheets can come from anywhere, as can burp cloths, so that's what I registered for at BRU. It's frustrating to know that people aren't going to pay attention to what you want and need - my step mother got us a 9-12 month snowsuit, and is all excited about baby using it when we visit them in Maine sometime this winter. headscratch.gif She swears that is what size her kids were wearing when they popped out. Ummmmmm... MAYBE it will fit next year, if we're lucky? I"m guessing it'll fit sometime over the summer/fall though. Oh well. There is no arguing with her, so we just said thank you graciously, and if it doesn't fit we'll give it to someone who can use it.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wombjuice View Post

Unfortunately, the books I have registered for are definitely not sold at Wal-Mart, Target, or Babies R Us...they may be at the bigger bookstores...I didn't think about that.  I am very particular about children's books and the messages they convey, so the books I've registered for have very peaceful/gentle messages and no "Timmy learned his lesson the hard way." stuff.  It's just our personal preference.

 

No, there's not a lot of stuff we "need" for the baby...like I said in my post above, I've already got everything we truly need (breasts, used clothes that friends gave me, a carseat, and a wrap/sling), but since my  husband and I are both students living strictly off of student loans, it would be nice to have some toys for when the baby gets a bit older, since we won't be able to afford to buy them ourselves.

 

The problem with store credit is that we simply do not shop at places like Wal-Mart and Target.  I refuse to support that kind of capitalism.  Obviously, I'm not going to just throw things away and will definitely return the items we don't want...but it sucks that I'll have no choice other than to support those ginormous conglomerate businesses.

 

And really...I just wanted to vent a little and thought some of the ladies here would understand.  It's probably just the pregnancy hormones. *shrug*
 



 



 


I'm Heather, newly married (12/5/10) to James! partners.gif
We are currently "mama" and "papa" to Maisy cat.gif and soon... parents to BABY NEW YEAR 2012!! babyf.gifWe're happily planning a h20homebirth.gif and intend to femalesling.GIFbfinfant.gifdiaper.gif

futuremamaheather is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 03:52 PM
 
softlysinging's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 169
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Then don't have a shower, or tell people to come celebrate the baby and not bring gifts at all.  I'm sorry, you can vent all you want but I think it sounds extremely ungrateful and a bit holier-than-thou.  Maybe that is just MY pregnancy hormones.  And you went from "there's nothing at these mainstream stores we want" to "we don't support conglomerate stores" - bit of a change of tune.  It's not you supporting them either, it's the people who cared enough to come to your shower and buy you the gifts.

softlysinging is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 04:32 PM
 
wombjuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,775
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I'm really not sure what to say in response to you.  I prefaced my first post with "I need to vent."  I've never vented about anything here in our DDC before, so I thought it would be a safe place to do so.

 

This has nothing to do with being ungrateful.  I stated in our invitations that we'd only accept used baby clothes, that we did not want any plastic toys, and that our registry is through Amazon.  I do not feel the need for a crib, a playpen, a stroller, or a diaper-changing table, so the things we've registered for were very inexpensive.  I have been practicing HypnoBabies throughout this pregnancy, and one of our affirmations is something like "I clearly state what I want and need, and accept help when it is given."  As someone who has previously always struggled with accepting gifts or asking for help, I've tried to change that throughout this pregnancy.

 

These mainstream stores do not have what we want nor do my husband and I support conglomerates.  Both are true...how is that a "change of tune"?

 

And what on earth did I do to offend you enough for you to judge and attack my venting?  I'm quite confused here...
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by softlysinging View Post

Then don't have a shower, or tell people to come celebrate the baby and not bring gifts at all.  I'm sorry, you can vent all you want but I think it sounds extremely ungrateful and a bit holier-than-thou.  Maybe that is just MY pregnancy hormones.  And you went from "there's nothing at these mainstream stores we want" to "we don't support conglomerate stores" - bit of a change of tune.  It's not you supporting them either, it's the people who cared enough to come to your shower and buy you the gifts.



 


Sprat , Certified Professional Midwife, loved very much by Sprig , the most open-minded, loving, gentle man in the world, little Sprout and now someone new! on begins with .
wombjuice is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 04:52 PM
 
softlysinging's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 169
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I guess I am not one of those people who thinks the words "I need to vent" mean you can say any old thing you want and not expect other people to share their feelings on it. What you posted rubbed me the wrong way.  And I am pregnant too, so when stuff rubs me the wrong way I don't tend to hold back.  

softlysinging is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 05:02 PM
 
wombjuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,775
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Okay. Rainbow.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by softlysinging View Post

I guess I am not one of those people who thinks the words "I need to vent" mean you can say any old thing you want and not expect other people to share their feelings on it. What you posted rubbed me the wrong way.  And I am pregnant too, so when stuff rubs me the wrong way I don't tend to hold back.  



 


Sprat , Certified Professional Midwife, loved very much by Sprig , the most open-minded, loving, gentle man in the world, little Sprout and now someone new! on begins with .
wombjuice is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 05:49 PM
 
imakecutebabies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: nyc
Posts: 145
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Crap, we're having another baby! 

 

 

That's how I'm feeling this month. lol. Panic has set it. I went to buy a crib at Ikea and realized something I already knew - we still don't have room until we move. Yep. The rest of november & december will go by super quick since we are celebrating a lot of birthdays. I'm so not mentally ready for a baby... but I know everything will work its way out when he gets here. My kids, who I thought were so easy before getting pregnant, seem to have turned into little rowdy, mischievous monsters... but no one else seems to think so. I guess I'm just insanely irritable and preg-nuts. I just really want nothing but peace and quiet everyday from now until the baby is born.... Is that ok? :) I'm dreaming of candle-lit yoga and massages and ice cream and my feet in the sand~~~

imakecutebabies is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 05:57 PM
 
rtjunker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 187
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by wombjuice View Post

This is so awesome!!!  What a great community!! love.gif
 



 



I have no idea how I got so lucky, though telling my Mom about all the baby stuff I scored yesterday made her oddly defensive, as she assured me that she had tons of stuff she's been collecting to give me. Moms.

rtjunker is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 06:10 PM
 
cedarwoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Vancouver Island
Posts: 339
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by imakecutebabies View Post
I guess I'm just insanely irritable and preg-nuts. I just really want nothing but peace and quiet everyday from now until the baby is born.... Is that ok? :) I'm dreaming of candle-lit yoga and massages and ice cream and my feet in the sand~~~


Candlelit yoga sounds amazing. That's going on my December list of "Nice things I'm going to do for myself". And I may have to petition the Oxford folks to add "preg-nuts" to the dictionary!

 


Weaving, knitting mama of one beautiful daughter born at home,  reading.gif and yoga teacher namaste.gif planning a homebirth.jpg with our second, due mid-january. Trying to crochetsmilie.gif & sewmachine.gif & notes.gif more... We like to fly-by-nursing1.giffamilybed1.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

cedarwoman is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 07:29 PM
 
thorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Posts: 2,375
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have been getting massages every other week and it is like heaven. I have to try hard not to moan and groan though it, lol

I had one on Sunday and I fell asleep for part of it!

Christine, mom to C(7.5) - E(5) - J(3) - B(10 mos)

Doula, childbirth educator, Co-leader of ICAN of Atlanta

 

"Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it." ~Anonymous

thorn is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 07:32 PM
 
juneboymum's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Parkville, MD
Posts: 332
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Things are chugging along here.  Although I still puke a few times a week, I've been thinking that this past week is probably the best I've ever felt during pregnancy EVER.  Hope it continues!  If only I'd known about the chiro with preg #1!

 

I've also started to feel a little guilty about how little we've done to prepare for this baby.  With my older son, so much time was spent researching gear, cloth diapers, registering for stuff, etc.  We saved everything so we really don't *need* much....it was just a huge part of my first pregnancy and it seems weird to not have that aspect of pregnancy/preparation....and I feel sort of like this baby is getting jipped.  We also set up a wonderful nursery for our older son (although he didn't use it for at least 18 months) and this baby doesn't even have a designated space in the house.  I did just get a used dresser off freecycle this weekend so I'd have somewhere to put the cloth diapers and clothes, however, it's currently sitting in the middle of the dining room.  I know the baby will never "remember" that he didn't have his own room, new stuff, etc and that all he needs is our love and nurturing....of which there is plenty!  I'm also a little sad that there is no shower/celebration planned (again, we don't need gifts) - I just feel guilty that the same level of acknowledgement doesn't seem to be there.  Even my husband has made comments about how he's barely had time to think about this pregnancy.  I think this is somewhat common with subsequent pregnancies...and I know we had a big discussion about throwing your own celebration of life party on another thread....just have to find the time....and it still seems a little different when it's not offered by a loved one.  You know what I mean???  Does anyone one else feel like this with #2? 

 

Overall, I know that NONE of this is really important.  I'm soooo grateful to have another healthy, uneventful pregnancy and that's really all that should matter.  My younger sister (who is 18 months younger than me) STILL makes comments about how she was "jipped" being the second born...even 32 years later....so that is probably partially why I have some of these feelings.  Oh well.

juneboymum is offline  
Old 11-07-2011, 11:59 PM
 
sarah_bella1050's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: California
Posts: 2,029
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I definitely feel you on the whole baby shower front.  I asked my mom to specify no gifts on the invite and of course that didn't happen.  Thank God we don't know the gender otherwise we would be getting tons of puppies and baseballs or pink bows.  Whatever you can't return you can take to a baby consignment shop.  They sell blankets, lanolin, breastpads and clothing at all those mega stores you'll be able to find simple stuff you need I'm sure.

 

I can't really complain to much about this pregnancy, I still feel really good.  I'm still going to the gym 4x a week for 1-1.5 hours, keeping up the kids and really just living life as normal.  Doesn't really seem as though I have any choice with dh gone most of the the time.  Occasionally I get overtired and just break down and cry, but usually it only takes me a day of resting and minimal activity to feel like zooming off again to do it "all". 


Sarah knit.gif married to Micah, mama to dd1 (9), dd2 (7) and ds (2). We love to homeschool.gif h20homebirth.gif goorganic.jpgchicken3.gif
sarah_bella1050 is offline  
Old 11-08-2011, 06:18 AM
 
lactatinggirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Roy, Utah
Posts: 940
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by montessorimama1 View Post

 

Here's a question: Anybody else find it difficult to get intimate with their husband while baby is kicking away inside?  I'm as open-minded as the next girl, but it throws me for a loop and dampens what little libido I have left.  It's bad enough that I don't want to be touched anywhere that DH is interested in touching... One more thing nobody told me about pregnancy.  grrr...

 

 


It's definitely super distracting to get kicked when you're trying to heat things up. Personally, I just try to keep convincing myself I'm "in the mood" until I actually get in the mood. The whole fake it til you make it concept. I never actually regret the act in the end. :-P


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wombjuice View Post

 

The problem with store credit is that we simply do not shop at places like Wal-Mart and Target.  I refuse to support that kind of capitalism.  Obviously, I'm not going to just throw things away and will definitely return the items we don't want...but it sucks that I'll have no choice other than to support those ginormous conglomerate businesses.

 

And really...I just wanted to vent a little and thought some of the ladies here would understand.  It's probably just the pregnancy hormones. *shrug*
 


I'm not sure what kind of stuff you received, but I was able to sell a lot of our unwanted baby stuff online (a site around here that's similar to Craig's List, but more frequented for our area) and through kid consignment stores. For the bigger items you can get more for if you sell them directly to the buyer. Smaller things (like clothes) I just sell to the consignment stores because it's easier and you can get rid of all the bulk at once. The kid's consignment store around here gives you more money if you do it in credit, so we always do that. I shop there anyway (I can't believe how much they expect you to pay for clothes new!) so it's great to have the credit.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by juneboymum View Post

I've also started to feel a little guilty about how little we've done to prepare for this baby.  With my older son, so much time was spent researching gear, cloth diapers, registering for stuff, etc.  We saved everything so we really don't *need* much....it was just a huge part of my first pregnancy and it seems weird to not have that aspect of pregnancy/preparation....and I feel sort of like this baby is getting jipped.  We also set up a wonderful nursery for our older son (although he didn't use it for at least 18 months) and this baby doesn't even have a designated space in the house.  I did just get a used dresser off freecycle this weekend so I'd have somewhere to put the cloth diapers and clothes, however, it's currently sitting in the middle of the dining room.  I know the baby will never "remember" that he didn't have his own room, new stuff, etc and that all he needs is our love and nurturing....of which there is plenty!  I'm also a little sad that there is no shower/celebration planned (again, we don't need gifts) - I just feel guilty that the same level of acknowledgement doesn't seem to be there.  Even my husband has made comments about how he's barely had time to think about this pregnancy.  I think this is somewhat common with subsequent pregnancies...and I know we had a big discussion about throwing your own celebration of life party on another thread....just have to find the time....and it still seems a little different when it's not offered by a loved one.  You know what I mean???  Does anyone one else feel like this with #2? 

 

Overall, I know that NONE of this is really important.  I'm soooo grateful to have another healthy, uneventful pregnancy and that's really all that should matter.  My younger sister (who is 18 months younger than me) STILL makes comments about how she was "jipped" being the second born...even 32 years later....so that is probably partially why I have some of these feelings.  Oh well.

 

I'm feeling kind of similar. At every midwife appointment she asks if I have questions and up until now (because I've started thinking about birth things and she wasn't my provider with my first, so I want to know how she handles certain situations), I never had anything to ask. I did a ton of research my last pregnancy, so it's been really surreal for me to just not be wondering anything.

 

Have you thought about having a mother's blessing? I think there was a mothering magazine article about it a few months before they stopped doing the magazine. I also don't want to have a shower because I don't need gifts (we have the few things I really decided that we needed kept from my daughter's baby years), but the mother's blessing is more about celebrating the new life coming into the world and giving you good vibes for your future birth. :-D
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah_bella1050 View Post

I definitely feel you on the whole baby shower front.  I asked my mom to specify no gifts on the invite and of course that didn't happen.  Thank God we don't know the gender otherwise we would be getting tons of puppies and baseballs or pink bows.  Whatever you can't return you can take to a baby consignment shop.  They sell blankets, lanolin, breastpads and clothing at all those mega stores you'll be able to find simple stuff you need I'm sure.

 


With my baby shower with my first I got SO MUCH pink. We literally got 6 different poofy dresses in the 0-3 month size! What 0-3 month old needs even one poofy dress, let alone SIX?!? That alone made me regret finding out the sex. Now I'm basking in the greens and yellows we're going to receive (like from my mother-in-law who makes matching burp rags and blankets for each grandchild).


Superherolactivist.gif and mother to Peanut (03/20/09) and Twig (01/20/2012). Fighting for the rights of mothers out there who winner.jpg selectivevax.gif fly-by-nursing2.giffemalesling.GIFfamilybed1.gifhomebirth.jpg and much more! mdcblog5.gif 
 
 
 
    

lactatinggirl is offline  
Old 11-08-2011, 07:53 AM
 
coldandsleepy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
Posts: 763
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Juneboymum... I hear you.  I also just haven't done a lot for this baby yet, and have some guilt about that.  The one thing I've really done/am doing for him is making him a baby quilt-- something I wanted to do for my older son but didn't get around to.  It's nice to have one special little thing for him.  That's really it so far.  :P

 

I don't worry a whole lot about him being scarred for life or anything though.  I'm the third out of five kids and had lots of reasons I could have felt ripped off as a kid-- I never got new clothing, just my sister's hand-me-downs, mostly had used toys, didn't get to take music lessons or anything because the money had run out by then, etc, etc-- but I really didn't.  (Maybe it helps to have a sibling even younger than you though, so that you can clearly see that it's not JUST you that's getting ripped off.  Hmmm...)

 

So my plan from day 1 has been to work basically until I go into labor.  I recently discovered that I can take up to 4 weeks off *before* I have my baby and receive short-term disability for that time.  (Yay California.)  So now I'm thinking, maybe I should just plan to start leave on Jan 1st, as I'm due the 14th/15th.  I think my boss would be happy to have a set date that he will need to have other coverage starting on, and doesn't it sound nice to just have the winter holiday extend out into the beginning of the month?  On the other hand, I was *so* bored in the last couple of weeks before my older son was born, and he was born past his due date.  Maybe I ought to just push through and keep the distraction of work going as long as I can...


Mother of two great little guys, G (9/28/09) and W (1/20/12)

coldandsleepy is offline  
Old 11-08-2011, 08:00 AM
 
codymari3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I don't post here to often but.....i need to vent...

I'm pregnant, hormonal, and _TIRED_. The worst combination possible for me...
I don't know if it is this very negative combination of circumstances or my husband truly being a pain in the you know what!

He's 35y/o but i swear sometimes i married a 14y/o little boy. He plays Lineage 2 (similar to World of Warcraft) _A_LOT_! Because of a crumby situation (to long of a story to type) he is home full time with my two older children (ages 2 and 4.5), i can only guess what goes on during the day but those poor kids never leave our apartment during the day. They get to go outside on a 3x5 enclosed patio if the weather is nice but that is it! I mean seriously i can see the playground from that patio so it isn't that far! I know he has his own health issues but this just isn't fair to our kids!
Then yesterday, as usual he's on the computer when i get home (about 4), gets off long enough to eat a bowl of cereal with us for dinner (i was to tired to cook after working an 8hr day outside of the house on very little sleep) then goes back to playing his game till sometime around 3am! He woke my 2y/o up with his talking, she then refused to go to sleep for over an hour and also insisted in sleeping on top of me so that meant no sleep for me....and i can guarantee that he will complain about being tired, not feeling well and the kids being a pain all day when i get home tonight.....
ARG!!!!!!!!!
I honestly don't care if he plays the game some but seriously....
All i ask for is balance, is that to much?

codymari3 is offline  
Old 11-08-2011, 09:25 AM
 
HardCoreMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in the woods of NW CT
Posts: 933
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

well, THAT sucked.  i've been MIA around here for the last 10 days because we're now just FINALLY getting power restored after that huge snowstorm hit the Northeast (US).  on october 29, we got 23 inches of snow here, which would be no problem in january, but in october, brought down our forests (and power lines!) like dominoes.  it was amazing destruction.

 

we were without power, heat, and water (including flushing toilets).  low temps in the 20s (F).  it was super hard, and on day 4, we finally had to find other shelter.  we moved in with my ILs, out-of-state, and drove back twice a day (5 hours) to take care of our dogs, cat, and chickens.  SUCK-OH!

 

anyway, i'm back!  it's amazing how little you can think about being 7 months pregnant when you're just trying to help your family get through the day.  i'm so thankful to be home!


HCM- gentle, all-natural, unconditional mama to three boys (8,6,4) and new baby girl! baby.gif  goorganic.jpg bfinfant.gifhomeschool.gif

 

HardCoreMom is offline  
Old 11-08-2011, 10:19 AM
 
rtjunker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 187
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by codymari3 View Post

I don't post here to often but.....i need to vent...

I'm pregnant, hormonal, and _TIRED_. The worst combination possible for me...
I don't know if it is this very negative combination of circumstances or my husband truly being a pain in the you know what!

He's 35y/o but i swear sometimes i married a 14y/o little boy. He plays Lineage 2 (similar to World of Warcraft) _A_LOT_! Because of a crumby situation (to long of a story to type) he is home full time with my two older children (ages 2 and 4.5), i can only guess what goes on during the day but those poor kids never leave our apartment during the day. They get to go outside on a 3x5 enclosed patio if the weather is nice but that is it! I mean seriously i can see the playground from that patio so it isn't that far! I know he has his own health issues but this just isn't fair to our kids!
Then yesterday, as usual he's on the computer when i get home (about 4), gets off long enough to eat a bowl of cereal with us for dinner (i was to tired to cook after working an 8hr day outside of the house on very little sleep) then goes back to playing his game till sometime around 3am! He woke my 2y/o up with his talking, she then refused to go to sleep for over an hour and also insisted in sleeping on top of me so that meant no sleep for me....and i can guarantee that he will complain about being tired, not feeling well and the kids being a pain all day when i get home tonight.....
ARG!!!!!!!!!
I honestly don't care if he plays the game some but seriously....
All i ask for is balance, is that to much?


It sounds like you're in a tough situation, and not feeling very supported. I was wondering if you could get your husband to help out more by giving him specific tasks to accomplish while you're working. He may just not "think" to take the kids to the park, or to make supper because he's not used to being home during the day, and he's likely dealing with his own frustration at the situation that's left him home full time and feeling useless.

 

Would he be willing to work with you to figure out where he can help? If you asked him to take the kids to the park or library at 2:00 for a playdate would he? or would he feel harassed? If he were responsible for making a few simple meals for the family each week, could he do that? I hope you can work something out to ease your burdens.

rtjunker is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off