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#1 of 13 Old 11-19-2011, 08:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Does anyone else want to kill their toddlers? Or other children in general for that matter?

 

Of course, I'm not really going to kill her. She's just MAJORLY on my nerves lately. I feel like I'm tantruming more at her than she is at me! What's worse is that when I'm in a bad mood with her, it makes DH in a bad mood with her too (rather than taking up the slack), so she's just surrounded by people who are yelling at her for doing normal toddler things. Normally I try to be really patient and understanding because she IS just a toddler, but now it's like everything she does is getting on my nerves. Any suggestions for getting me to calm down with her?

 

 


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#2 of 13 Old 11-19-2011, 08:17 AM
 
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No suggestions, and I don't have a toddler, but yesterday I had to put my dogs in their crates for about two hours because I could not put up with their barking anymore and I was afraid I would drop-kick them across the room.  The anger I felt was terrifying, and I can't imagine what it would be like when dealing with a toddler.

 

So yeah, I feel for you... Perhaps mommy needs a time-out?  Hugs!


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#3 of 13 Old 11-19-2011, 10:14 AM
 
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No.  Just my cat.  Who acts like a whiney toddler.

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#4 of 13 Old 11-19-2011, 10:31 AM
 
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Make sure you are getting enough sleep.  Seriously that is the #1 difference between me being Angry Pregnant Mama and just Slightly-More-Impatient-Mama.  too bad it took me until my 4th pregnancy to figure this out, but at least my kids have benefited from it this time.

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#5 of 13 Old 11-19-2011, 01:13 PM
 
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Definitely watch your sleep and talk to her about how you are feeling. My girls are really understanding when I explain what is going on, why I'm so tired or achy. We just implemented a few new rules in the house this past month to help keep everyone happy. It's so easy to lose the structure in your house when you're pregnant & exhausted. 

 

I found that I've been very short with my kids (3 &6) during this pregancy because like it or not they are going to have to step it up when the baby is born. I hate it when my husband is frustrated with them too so I know you mean. He seems to just follow my lead, so if I'm grumpy at them he thinks he should be too. 

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#6 of 13 Old 11-19-2011, 02:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lactatinggirl View Post

Does anyone else want to kill their toddlers? Or other children in general for that matter?

 

Of course, I'm not really going to kill her. She's just MAJORLY on my nerves lately. I feel like I'm tantruming more at her than she is at me! What's worse is that when I'm in a bad mood with her, it makes DH in a bad mood with her too (rather than taking up the slack), so she's just surrounded by people who are yelling at her for doing normal toddler things. Normally I try to be really patient and understanding because she IS just a toddler, but now it's like everything she does is getting on my nerves. Any suggestions for getting me to calm down with her?

 

 


I'm right there with you!  I've had such a short fuse with my 2.5 yr old and I think he's sick of me.  This week I know I didn't get down on the floor and play with him as much because I'm so huge and uncomfortable.  I also have NO patience when we're trying to get out the door and he insists on putting his shoes on himself, won't potty or brush his teeth, or just doesn't want to stop playing, etc which may take 30-40 minutes and several meltdowns if he can't get them on or if I even get close to helping him (he'll take them off and start over)!  I started feeling really bad when he says he doesn't want around...he'll say "you go to work and daddy stays home with me!" or "No!  Not you!!" when I offer to help him with something.  Yesterday I really made an effort to be REALLY patient and play with him a lot.  It was a better day.
 

 

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#7 of 13 Old 11-19-2011, 03:58 PM
 
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I always get more impatient/angry when pregnant. And lack of sleep definitely doesn't help. And I haven't gotten more than 7 hours a night in months (I'm normally a 9 or 10 hour a night kind of person).

 

There's a hashtag on twitter that occasionally gets used...#pregnancyrageisreal


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#8 of 13 Old 11-19-2011, 07:39 PM
 
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I absolutely understand your frustration. I have a five year old and am 32 weeks along with our second. Most days, I find my patience wearing thin before my feet even hit the floor. Why does she have to talk so much? Can't she just eat her breakfast without wearing it? Do her toys really have to fly through the kitchen and knock over everything? Grrrrr! I'm also normally a very patient person, but these days I just can't seem to avoid an outburst at her childish foibles. The only thing I find that helps is to "practice opposites." When I feel like screaming, I whisper. When I want to hit her, I kiss her hand. When I grind my teeth, I take a deep breath and relax my jaw. Can't say it always works or that I always remember to do it, but reminding myself that the child inside me feels my anger as acutely as my daughter does helps bring me back down to Earth. Making time for the two of us to play, read, or go for walks helps, as well as asking family members take her for afternoons and having friends over who have other kids for her to play with. Good luck with your growing family. We all need a bit of luck and alot of patience, but it's well worth it. :)

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#9 of 13 Old 11-20-2011, 08:04 AM
 
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Yes! I just try to take DD (2.5 years) out for several hours every day to play with friends, so I don't have to be alone with her.  I'm completely irrationally grumpy with her.  Her cute little voice is driving me crazy, and I want to tell her to "shut up!"  I think I'm doing a good job of not acting out, and she seems unaware of my grumpiness.  I do have the same thoughts, though.  Only suggestion I can give is to find activities so you can get a break from her.  Try to keep in mind that the better you behave, the better she will behave.  Maybe you can take control and break the tantrum cycle.

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#10 of 13 Old 11-21-2011, 09:37 AM
 
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The last month, I've been embarrassingly lax on my rule enforcement with my 2.5 y/o, just because I don't have the energy to fight with her and deal with her crying.  So she's been eating more meals on the couch, sleeping in our bed and getting easier meals that are quick for me to heat up.  I feel bad, but I just can't deal with the crying and whining right now.


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#11 of 13 Old 11-22-2011, 02:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by softlysinging View Post

Make sure you are getting enough sleep.  Seriously that is the #1 difference between me being Angry Pregnant Mama and just Slightly-More-Impatient-Mama.  too bad it took me until my 4th pregnancy to figure this out, but at least my kids have benefited from it this time.


I have actually been sleeping A TON. Like so much that my husband complains he never sees me. It's not great sleep though. Constantly tossing and turning. I do feel better on days where I get a nap (like today) though, so I should probably try to nap more often.

 

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Originally Posted by imakecutebabies View Post

Definitely watch your sleep and talk to her about how you are feeling. My girls are really understanding when I explain what is going on, why I'm so tired or achy. We just implemented a few new rules in the house this past month to help keep everyone happy. It's so easy to lose the structure in your house when you're pregnant & exhausted. 

 

I found that I've been very short with my kids (3 &6) during this pregancy because like it or not they are going to have to step it up when the baby is born. I hate it when my husband is frustrated with them too so I know you mean. He seems to just follow my lead, so if I'm grumpy at them he thinks he should be too. 


What kinds of new rules did you implement?
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Devaskyla View Post

I always get more impatient/angry when pregnant. And lack of sleep definitely doesn't help. And I haven't gotten more than 7 hours a night in months (I'm normally a 9 or 10 hour a night kind of person).

 

There's a hashtag on twitter that occasionally gets used...#pregnancyrageisreal

 

That's a funny hashtag!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by juneboymum View Post


I'm right there with you!  I've had such a short fuse with my 2.5 yr old and I think he's sick of me.  This week I know I didn't get down on the floor and play with him as much because I'm so huge and uncomfortable.  I also have NO patience when we're trying to get out the door and he insists on putting his shoes on himself, won't potty or brush his teeth, or just doesn't want to stop playing, etc which may take 30-40 minutes and several meltdowns if he can't get them on or if I even get close to helping him (he'll take them off and start over)!  I started feeling really bad when he says he doesn't want around...he'll say "you go to work and daddy stays home with me!" or "No!  Not you!!" when I offer to help him with something.  Yesterday I really made an effort to be REALLY patient and play with him a lot.  It was a better day.

 

I think part of my problem is that DD is doing the exact opposite. She doesn't want daddy at all most days. She wants me to be the one that plays with her, she wants me to read her her books before bed, she wants to nurse ALL THE TIME. Some days I feel like I didn't actually get a moment to myself, even when she went to preschool for 3 hours.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by nononsensemom View Post

I absolutely understand your frustration. I have a five year old and am 32 weeks along with our second. Most days, I find my patience wearing thin before my feet even hit the floor. Why does she have to talk so much? Can't she just eat her breakfast without wearing it? Do her toys really have to fly through the kitchen and knock over everything? Grrrrr! I'm also normally a very patient person, but these days I just can't seem to avoid an outburst at her childish foibles. The only thing I find that helps is to "practice opposites." When I feel like screaming, I whisper. When I want to hit her, I kiss her hand. When I grind my teeth, I take a deep breath and relax my jaw. Can't say it always works or that I always remember to do it, but reminding myself that the child inside me feels my anger as acutely as my daughter does helps bring me back down to Earth. Making time for the two of us to play, read, or go for walks helps, as well as asking family members take her for afternoons and having friends over who have other kids for her to play with. Good luck with your growing family. We all need a bit of luck and alot of patience, but it's well worth it. :)


I'm definitely going to try that! Thanks! I have been forcing myself to relax my jaw when I start grinding my teeth (that counts as labor relaxation, right? :-P), but I like the idea of whispering when I feel like yelling. Maybe it'll help me calm down more rather than yelling which makes me get more and more upset.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by maptome View Post

Yes! I just try to take DD (2.5 years) out for several hours every day to play with friends, so I don't have to be alone with her.  I'm completely irrationally grumpy with her.  Her cute little voice is driving me crazy, and I want to tell her to "shut up!"  I think I'm doing a good job of not acting out, and she seems unaware of my grumpiness.  I do have the same thoughts, though.  Only suggestion I can give is to find activities so you can get a break from her.  Try to keep in mind that the better you behave, the better she will behave.  Maybe you can take control and break the tantrum cycle.


I like the "so I don't have to be alone with her" part. I've been known to do that myself! The only problem is that I have had an intense urge to just be at home for the last couple of months. Not that we don't leave the house, but I just feel happier when I don't have to get out the door at all. Maybe I can invite people over?

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Conchobhar View Post

The last month, I've been embarrassingly lax on my rule enforcement with my 2.5 y/o, just because I don't have the energy to fight with her and deal with her crying.  So she's been eating more meals on the couch, sleeping in our bed and getting easier meals that are quick for me to heat up.  I feel bad, but I just can't deal with the crying and whining right now.


Oh I wish I could get my toddler back out of my bed some nights! (others it's a blessing because I just don't have the energy to deal with her when she's in a different room) I think she's back in because she's coping with the new baby coming, but ugh she needs to stop kicking me!

 

I've been much more relaxed in general too though. She's getting more TV time, when she's making a mess (and being happy) I often just let her do it, she's not getting healthy meals most of the time because I just don't have the energy to cook, that kind of stuff. I think I stress myself out more though because I'm not doing things "right", but I think I need to learn to just let go and realize this is temporary.


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#12 of 13 Old 11-22-2011, 06:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nononsensemom View Post

The only thing I find that helps is to "practice opposites." When I feel like screaming, I whisper. When I want to hit her, I kiss her hand. When I grind my teeth, I take a deep breath and relax my jaw. 


I really like this tip too!

 

..........

 

 

 

 

Here are my new rules (or rather same rules, more enforcement):

 

-No sleeping in mom & dads bed. They earn one sticker a night by going to bed in their rooms. I printed out Chuck E Cheese behavior charts ( http://www.chuckecheese.com/promotions/rewards-calendars.php ) that give them 10 free tokens. 

 

-IF/THEN guidelines for not listening, hitting, etc. "IF this happens, THEN this is the consequence." It's basically a reminder sheet to keep my husband and I consistent with discipline but we post it in the office so the kids know what to expect. We've been very strict about it & it has really helped. Some problems have natural consequences, some have time outs, some are positive for good behavior. We also bought this: http://www.amazon.com/Time-Out-Pad-HD015-Blue/dp/B001IMG5WG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1322013614&sr=8-2 which has actually been really good. 

 

-No toys in the car, 10 minute time out (when we get home) for fighting in the car. You probably don't have this problem but my kids fight over everything while I'm driving so that's my solution. 

 

-Toy Organization. This is just for my sanity, but they also play better because of it... I went through all of their toys and sorted them into different large bins. So each bin has like 2 puzzles, 2 stuffed animals, 2 ponies, etc and they only have one bin in their room at a time. I've swapped them out every week and a half or so to keep them fresh. It took me about 4 hours to do.

 

-New kitchen system. Everyone in the family now gets 1 bowl, 1 cup, and 1 plate to use everyday. This has cut down on my dishes SO MUCH. I'm the worst offender of using 5 cups a day. If it doesn't get put in the sink, it doesn't get washed. 

 

I'm a very unstructured person and have pretty wild, free-spirited kids but with #3 otw I've been feeling like I might not survive in this house without cracking down. We've had some of these rules before but I just get lax from time to time. 

 

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#13 of 13 Old 11-23-2011, 06:17 AM
 
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I've kind of done the opposite with my preschooler.  I'm usually really strict about screen time and the house being clean and I've let that go quite a bit.  I'm trying to pick my battles and if that means she watches 2 hours of pbs shows in a day but doesn't get yelled at, then I'm okay with it.  


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