I just want to cry! (Overdue) - Mothering Forums
January 2012 > I just want to cry! (Overdue)
DayDreamer2's Avatar DayDreamer2 06:36 AM 01-16-2012

I was "due" Dec 30. As of today I am 42w3d and I feel like I'm about to lose it.  This is my fourth baby.


DD1 was an induced hospital birth at 41w1d. DS1 was an all natural home birth at 40w6d. DS2 was a natural hospital birth at 42w3d. So as of today I am passing my "record". 

 

I'm planning another home birth. The only reason DS2 was a hospital birth is I lived in a state where home birth MW's were not legal and there were no practicing MW's in a reasonable distance to me. I'm back in the state I lived in with DS1 so going for a home birth again. 

 

I am just getting so depressed. IRL I stay positive. EVERYONE is bugging me about inducing and I am constantly defending why I'm not inducing so I don't even hint at how I'm feeling emotionally because I feel that's just more to add to their argument of why I should induce. 

 

I have been pretty healthy this entire pregnancy. I've gained 25lbs. I was borderline GD and tested my blood sugars 4x a day and kept them in normal levels through a very strict diet. Since my history of going past my due date my MW had me start taking this Gentle Birth Formula starting at 35 weeks. I took it religiously. All three previous babies have been born posterior, which can lead to late births. This time I was able to get this baby LOA since about 36 weeks and he's stayed there.  My MW doesn't do routine cervical checks, but I begged her to at 40 weeks and I was 1cm and 20%. Very soft and my cervix was in the right position.  I haven't been checked since. I have NO feelings of going into labor anytime soon. I have BH, but other than my belly getting rock hard, I can't feel them.  I've lost pieces of my plug here and there, nothing major.  My MW had me take Master Gland Formula starting Friday, taking it every hour for 48 hrs. I took it religiously... NOTHING!

 

So now, if I do not have this baby by Wed I have to go for a Biophysical Profile ultrasound. I don't want the u/s. I feel the baby is fine. He moves like crazy! He has a good heart rate. But my MW will only continue my care if I have this u/s.  I have tried all the "safe" ways to get things going... nipple stimulation, contributions from DP, eating pineapple, EPO,  spicy food, bumpy car rides, walking, acupressure, etc. I haven't tried acupuncture only because it's expensive and if it doesn't work I can't afford to pay for the acupuncture and turn around and pay for this BPP I have to have done. 

 

I know they say that since this is my fourth baby I can just all of a sudden go into labor with no signs leading up to it. I hope that happens. I'm just getting tired and at this point I feel like all I am doing is waiting for labor to start. I try to do things to take my mind off of it, but it's there in the back of my mind bothering me. Even in my sleep I dream about waking up and being in labor. 

 

Sorry this is so long, but I need to get it out. I just need to know this baby is coming SOON! Oh, BTW, my DD was 8lb 9oz, DS1 was 9lb 6oz and DS2 was 10lb 11oz.  So I'm a little scared about how big this baby is going to be the longer I stay pregnant! Guess the u/s will tell me something on Wed...



AfricanQueen99's Avatar AfricanQueen99 06:56 AM 01-16-2012

Oh, man, I'm sorry.  The thought of an induction scares me so much so hearing it from laypeople would annoy the crap out of me!


Kaitlyn811's Avatar Kaitlyn811 07:39 AM 01-16-2012

Oh mama..I'm so sorry. I can understand your frustration. I'm at 41w2d..this is my first baby and it's just scaring the hell out of me thinking about an induction.

 

Maybe our uterus' are just too comfy? Our babies just don't want to leave us..

 

Sending some labor vibes your way..fingers crossed.


Greenlea's Avatar Greenlea 07:53 AM 01-16-2012

Could it be possible that your due date is off?  My first was born at 38wk3d and my second was born at 41wk4d, so each baby is different.  And I've heard that with more babies, they usually stay in longer.  However, are you worried about him getting too big?  Were your other kids big?  I would wait until at least 3 wks past due to induce personally.


DayDreamer2's Avatar DayDreamer2 09:23 AM 01-16-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenlea View Post

Could it be possible that your due date is off?  My first was born at 38wk3d and my second was born at 41wk4d, so each baby is different.  And I've heard that with more babies, they usually stay in longer.  However, are you worried about him getting too big?  Were your other kids big?  I would wait until at least 3 wks past due to induce personally.


I had an u/s at 23 weeks and it was right on track with my due date. I'm not really worried about him being too big, but my last baby was 10lb 110z and I worry that my MW will think he's getting too big. I don't prefer to have a 10-11lb baby but I know I can.  I don't plan on inducing, but after 43 weeks I'll probably start thinking about it. Gonna wait and see what the biophysical profile shows. I'm just need some emotional support to get through these last few days. I can't talk to anyone about my pregnancy IRL because all they say is induce, induce, induce. And my DP, he just says chill out and don't worry about it. He is so calm.

 


montessorimama1's Avatar montessorimama1 09:29 AM 01-16-2012

I can't offer any advice but I just want to let you know that I would feel the same way you do, and I'm impressed by how you're willing to fight to protect yourself and your little one from an induction.  Keep us posted, my thoughts are with you!


amberbirthdoula's Avatar amberbirthdoula 09:45 AM 01-16-2012

I'm sorry :( it's tough playing the waiting game. I'm glad to hear your DH is so calm and supportive! I know it's always in the back of your mind, but I'd recommend planning a hot date with your hubby! Get a sitter for the kids, and go out to dinner and a movie and make a rule: no talking about labor ;) or maybe have a family game night with your kiddos. No worries, your body knows what it's doing, this little one will come out when he/she's ready.

Sending you lots of hugs and good vibes!


lisamarie1081's Avatar lisamarie1081 10:14 AM 01-16-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by DayDreamer2 View Post


I had an u/s at 23 weeks and it was right on track with my due date. I'm not really worried about him being too big, but my last baby was 10lb 110z and I worry that my MW will think he's getting too big. I don't prefer to have a 10-11lb baby but I know I can.  I don't plan on inducing, but after 43 weeks I'll probably start thinking about it. Gonna wait and see what the biophysical profile shows. I'm just need some emotional support to get through these last few days. I can't talk to anyone about my pregnancy IRL because all they say is induce, induce, induce. And my DP, he just says chill out and don't worry about it. He is so calm.

 



I don't know alot about ultrasound or what these measurements of my belly mean to the doctors ... but I could tell you that I had sex ONLY TWICE in April.  Once was on the 17th, which would give me a due date of 1/8 and once on the 20th, giving me a due date of 1/11.  The initial ultrasound told gave us an EDD of 1/7.  But, three to four days is a BIG difference when it comes to this time in the pregnancy ... the mental expectation and anticipation that goes along with a date .... the physical trials ... dealing with everyone else's expectations and opinions. 

 

So, I could be 41w+2days OR I could be 40w+4d. 

 

I feel like next time I get pregnant I'm going to tell them during that initial ultrasound that the baby will come when it will come and I just won't be going by whatever crazy due date they come up with (even though, it could be very valid).

 

Know what's funny?  I went to school for 10 years to be a scientist ... I was a scientist ... things happened in my life along the way to make me see that EVERYTHING is not about science.  Nature has the upper hand most of the time.  :)   So hard to stick with it, but you can do it! 

 


joyfulgrrrl's Avatar joyfulgrrrl 10:41 AM 01-16-2012

I'm so sorry you're going through this, mama. It sounds stressful, and it's so ironic that the stress makes it harder for your body to go into labour naturally. I hope today is the day :)

 

 


Kindermama's Avatar Kindermama 01:35 PM 01-16-2012

Oh man, I feel for you! I was going nuts around 38 weeks with prodromal labor that kept petering out. I can't imagine being in your position. In my case, sex actually started my labor for good. Have you tried making love to your DH? I know, I know, last thing you want to do but sometimes the oxytocin from love-making gets things going!  I do agree if you are stressed than the hormones needed to begin labor get put on the back burner. Use these last few days to really connect with your inner self......baths, meditation, move slowly, eat well, make love....just relax. Your baby *has* to come out....you can do this! Your baby is going to be just the right size and you will have the home birth you intend to have. Stay positive. Big hugs to you! Can't wait to hear your birth story! 


Devaskyla's Avatar Devaskyla 05:35 PM 01-16-2012

Hugs to you. You're doing so great keeping your baby safe & giving him/her the best start you can.

 

At 23 weeks, dating on ultrasounds can be off by 2 weeks or more, so it is possible that your dates are off. As someone else said, even just a few days can make such a big difference.

 

Do you think that maybe the stress could be contributing to the lack of labour? I used to think that wasn't likely, until I saw it in action with a friend. She was stressing and worrying constantly about her baby being over due and finally she set aside a whole day to do things that relaxed her and to not think about it at all. She turned off the phone, got offline and just relaxed. She went into labour the day after that. And even if it doesn't, a whole day to relax is still worthwhile for itself.


Up