A couple of questions... re: co-sleeping and birth control. - Mothering Forums
January 2012 > A couple of questions... re: co-sleeping and birth control.
bentlaj11's Avatar bentlaj11 01:13 PM 02-07-2012

With DS1 we room-shared but didn't bedshare. I remember waking up for every peep; just in general being very aware of him/ even checking on him when I didn't hear anything. DS2 and I bedshare (DH has been sleepin w/ DS1 to give me a break at night). I don't feel like I have the same awareness. I only wake up when he stirs... and wants to eat. Is that because I'm more comfortable w/ him sleeping right next to me, or is that a sign I shouldn't bed share? I keep the covers/pillow away from him, and when I know he's good and asleep (sometimes I nurse him in bed), I back away from him some. I keep my legs curled below him, but back my upper body away. I don't feel like I'm sleeping too heavy that I would roll onto him, but I don't have the same up at every sound feeling that I had w/ DS1. Does this make sense?


Question 2: What do you guys do for BC while BF? I got a prescription for micronor, but I don't want to take anything hormonal, etc. I'd really like to do more natural family planning. But, with the difficulties I had nursing while pg and now tandem nursing...it scares me silly to think about being pg again until after DS2 weans. As much as I would love to just have children when nature's ready for it to happen, I'm not sure I can handle it again. I didn't get a pp period until DS1 was 15 mo., but I know that that has no bearing on how soon it will happen this time around. So, how does one do NFP without knowing when your cycle will regulate? FWIW, I haven't given a pacifier and don't plan on giving bottles (trying to do ecological? BF).

Devaskyla's Avatar Devaskyla 05:28 PM 02-07-2012

I sleep right next to them. I'm more concerned about being close enough to sense breathing than worrying about rolling over on a baby. I really don't think a breastfeeding mother who isn't inebriated in some fashion could roll on the baby. I tend to wake up even when he's not stirring, but he stopped breathing a couple times his first night, so I'm paranoid. I also have a toddler in the bed next to me who disturbs me sometimes.  With my first 2, I only woke just as they started to wake to eat.  IMO, that's one of the benefits of co-sleeping, your sleep cycles are in tune with your baby's & you only wake when they do or when you sense something wrong.


For birth control, I don't know what we're doing this time. We can not have another kid, but every method has issues. I've never gotten AF back before 10 months, so with the others, we didn't worry about anything until after 6 months and then just used condoms. Need to figure out something better this time. Dh has not had good luck with recovery from surgeries, so we're reluctant for him to have a vasectomy.

adorabelle's Avatar adorabelle 11:46 AM 02-09-2012

We co sleep as well.  I've wondered the same thing because I've been getting awesome sleep.  I don't move at all while she's next to me. 

bentlaj11's Avatar bentlaj11 01:01 PM 02-09-2012

Thanks, Devaskyla! That makes sense about the sleep cycles being in tune. Since DS1 was in a crib at the foot of the bed, we probably never got "in tune", thus I had to wake up to make sure everything was o.k. I do love how much better we all sleep, but I miss DH and DS1! Hopefully when DS1 weans we can all co-sleep again. As for the BC, I guess DH will just have to "suffer" and use condoms after DS2 starts solids (or if he sleeps long stretches regularly).. at least until my cycle comes back and is regular. I wish there was an easy way to know when your fertility returns while BF!!

freestylemama's Avatar freestylemama 02:05 PM 02-13-2012

another vote for condoms

AlwaysPraying's Avatar AlwaysPraying 01:21 AM 02-14-2012

i'll go for condoms and then non hormonal iud

lactatinggirl's Avatar lactatinggirl 02:50 PM 02-14-2012

I'd say you're fine on co-sleeping. You're just a more relaxed mama now that it's not your first. I've been the same way with this one. Actually freaks me out sometimes when I don't realize I've moved a bit away and she's rolled on her belly to get towards me. I just roll her back onto her side and we're good. I'd prefer to not wake to every little sound though. More sleep!


As for birth control, I'm planning on doing ecological breastfeeding as much as possible to delay the return of fertility. Here's a book I've been reading on it: http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Standards-Ecological-Breastfeeding-Frequency/dp/1435746228/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1329255987&sr=8-1


Taking Charge of Your Fertility has a section on FAM during breastfeeding too. Basically you just find out your infertile pattern (dry, sticky, or a combination of both) by tracking for two weeks, then every day that it continues you're still infertile. Most breastfeeding women (or women who have not ovulated for some time, regardless of the cause) take some time to "gear up" to ovulating again. So maybe you'll have a few days of more-fertile mucus and it'll go away, then a few weeks later you have some more more-fertile mucus that goes away, and on and on until you actually ovulate (which you'd have to be temping to tell if you did). So you'd abstain or use a barrier method during periods of more-fertile mucus, but most likely you won't ovulate the first time. My general plan is to start temping when I start getting more-fertile mucus (which hopefully the ecological breastfeeding will keep away for a while).