This is going to sound easy. Sometimes it's not (AHHHH! THREE babies AT THE SAME FRICKING TIME?!!! AHHHHH!!!), but considering the chaos that I anticipated, life is very, very good. I should also say that when I was a first time mama with dd, I was depressed, exhausted, and generally not doing so well with it all. I struggled terribly the first time, so I'm pretty excited that it could go this well the second time -- and with three! It's 2:45 a.m., I just woke up after 6 hours of straight sleep and am taking over for my husband (who sleeps until 8:30 a.m., getting his 6 hours). I'm pumping milk now while babies are sleeping. They're still waking every 3 hours at night to eat, but they're pretty much on the same schedule as each other. We have "hands-free" bottles to feed them so eating takes about 20 minutes for all three -- they lie and eat and look into my eyes, stopping to smile and coo, so I try not to worry too much about lost intimacy with not breastfeeding (all three breastfeed as well for snacks and comfort in between meals -- and to help me up my supply). They also get formula (about 50-50). They have their first awake period around 6 a.m. (I doze and sleep until then, usually alternating a baby to sleep with, sneaking in another hour or two of sleep to add to my 6) then we have tummy time and take turns chatting with mom one-on-one. Then it's feeding, napping, playing the rest of the day. The only time it really feels tricky is changing diapers and clothes when you just get done with one poopy blow-out and there're two more right away. From 3 - 5 p.m., we get a woman from the municipality (Sweden is generous with support for families that need it) come and help wash baby bottles, do light cleaning, food shop, fold laundry, and hang out with the babies while I go get my daughter from daycare. She can also make dinner if needed, but I love to cook, so I plan and look forward to that most days. It's gone amazingly well so far. I attribute it to having big healthy babies at birth (just luck, and a little care with my 4000-calorie-a-day diet while pregnant), living in a country which understands true family values and supports that, having a partner who takes full responsibility and can take care of three babies plus little girl by himself in a way that I can sleep completely relaxed, and having lucked out with no colicky babies. Also, I have very low expectations for what to get done. Sometimes we get a walk, usually not. Babies get a bath once a week (though we wash them under the sink when they poo, and wipe warm cloths around necks and faces). We also get help from my husbands awesome parents. Thanks for asking, Kindermama, it was fun to write down! Now it's 3 a.m., time to scoop up one lucky baby and hit the sack for a little bit.
(35) Teacher, mother to DD '08 + triplets (identical boys and a girl) born at 36 weeks gestation in ´11. Passions: gardening, cooking, painting, fishing, wild food gathering, reading, kayaking and more.
Wow! I'm so impressed! You seemed to be doing it all with such grace! You're my hero right now. I love the system you and your DH have. Your babies are blessed!
I'm having a hard time with my one little guy (plus 4 older kiddos ages 5-13). I'd love for this thread to take off because I want to hear what everyone else's routine too!
Let's see, we wake around 6:45am. Change diaper, dress for the day and then E plays with one of us (whoever isn't helping the bigs off to school) for an hour before crashing again for a 2 hour nap (usually 8-10am). DH takes the bigs to school. At 10am, he wakes up, gets a diaper change, plays or sits in chair while I get as much done as I can in 15-20 minutes. I sing and talk to him most of the time he's in the chair. About 1.5-1.75 hours later, he's signaling for a nap again! Usually naps 12-2pm. Wakes at 2, same thing, naps again from 4-6pm. Same thing between sleeps. Bedtime around 8pm. He wakes frequently at night. I never get more than 2 hours between wakings (except for a fluke one night where he slept 5 hours in my arms). I nurse on my side and so he basically suckles off and on ALL night. He has gotten better about popping off and sleeping with the boob near his face but not in his mouth.
I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Since his birth, he has only been out of arms for sleep 4 times. I can literally count on one hand--I'm not exaggerating! He has only slept 30-40 minutes each of those times before waking up crying. This just started two weeks ago...prior to that, he was never out of one of our arms SINCE BIRTH! He's in a sling or baby wrap for all naps. Only recently did we get side-lying nursing down.
Why won't he sleep by himself? He's not colicky. I suspect allergies for sure (DH had major allergies as breastfed newborn--to the point that his mom had to stop bf'ing and order special formula for him--they didn't do elimination diets back then) I have eliminated dairy, gluten/wheat, soy, eggs, shellfish, chocolate, cruciferous veggies and tomatoes/eggplant/other nightshades. It is helping! He's no longer waking every 10 minutes but still he's not sleeping soundly for very long either unless he's in the sling. He's a chubster at 12+lbs so no issue with my supply that I can tell. He's not gassy for the most part.
I feel like all my babies are like this.....what am I doing wrong? I always see pictures of babies sleeping out of arms all swaddled up and cozy....not my little guy! Any advice? I just ordered the No Cry Sleep Solution to reread--it's been years. I just feel like a failure. With him in the sling or in arms all day, I hardly get anything done and what I do get done, I have to do slowly, fairly quiet and with white noise in the background so I don't startle him awake and have to start all over again. You should see me try to pick up stuff from the floor...imagine the slowest, sloth-like squat you can imagine! Man I'm outta shape..LOL It's not that I tip-toe around because most of the time, he actually sleeps better with all the chaotic noises in the house but I can't bang stuff around, do dishes, tidy up quickly and things like that without waking him up. I also can't just hop in the car to get the bigs from school so right now I'm relying on DH or a sitter to help me.
Emaya - you're simply amazing. Seriously. That's a lot of babies to manage at once!
Kindermama - you're not doing anything wrong. Q will only sleep not Moby'd or not suckling all night long if I nurse her for like an hour while laying right next to her in our bed. I can't dare move an inch until she's in the world's deepest sleep or else she's up for good. Most of the time it's easiest to just Moby her and get on with my life. And, honestly, this only works if she's tired the same time my 2 y/o sleeps *and* I don't have a million other things to do.
I could write up my "routine" but none of it is with Q. We haven't developed anything yet. I was just thinking today how great it will be when we get into the three nap system, but she's not ready for that. So, right now, I can say we get out of bed around 7am and go to bed around 8:30pm...the rest is in the air.
Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
Yeah, I will say the 3 nap thing didn't kick in until 7.5 weeks old. It suddenly dawned on me that his naps were becoming predictable. It literally started one day and it's been that way ever since. Thanks for sharing your experience. It helps to hear about other babies who prefer to be held 24/7
Is it 7.5 weeks for it to kick in? (I really can't remember with my others) She's just at 6 weeks now...and I'll be on cloud nine if it's only 1.5 weeks away!!
Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
All you mommas are amazing! Kindermama - my first son was like that. He had to be held 24-7, only slept in 45 minute increments (and never alone), nursed all night. You aren't doing anything wrong...you are doing everything right and giving him exactly what he needs. You'll get through it!
Emaya - I'm SOOOO impressed!
We don't really have a strict routine....just go with the flow during the day. At night we go to bed between 10-11:30 depending on when Eli decides to go to sleep. He sleeps in his co-sleeper right beside me in 1-3 hour increments so I nurse and change him when he wakes up. After 3 AM, my husband takes him downstairs and gives him a pumped bottle of milk so I can get a little more sleep. He brings him back to me between 6:30-7:30 AM. In the morning, my husband gets my older son ready and gives him breakfast while I nurse Eli, feed the dogs, pump, medicate my heart failure dog, try to fit in my own breakfast, etc. Eli will usually take his first nap around 9ish and I'll shower and dress then. We usually run errands in the AM after Eli wakes from his first nap. He usually sleeps in the sling while we are out and about. Some days we'll meet a friend for lunch, go to the zoo or library, or walk to the park. 2 days a week my older son goes to daycare/preschool so those days I can get some sewing done while Eli sleeps or sometimes take a nap! The afternoons really depend on what mood my older son is in. Sometimes we go out again, or today we stayed home and did sticker art while Eli napped. My older son is pretty good and will play independently for a while so I can do dishes, laundry, make dinner, etc. After dinner, my husband and I trade days getting the big boy to sleep (it's a 1-2 hour bedtime process!) vs. comforting fussy Eli who is always fussy after dinner! We might get an hour or two of relaxation before bed. Right now Eli is sleeping in his moby with me, and my husband is STILL trying to get DS1 to sleep (this is the kid who never slept alone as a baby....I guess the battle never really ends!) and it's 9:45 PM. I prepare the bottle for Eli that my husband gives, medicate the dog again, feed the cats, get myself ready for bed, sometimes pump, and try to clean up before I can go to bed. Overall, it's all so much easier since Eli will sleep in his swing or in a carrier (sling, moby, or ergo) for good periods of time so I can get stuff done or play with the big boy. A lot of days we just need to leave the house so I don't go crazy trying to entertain DS1!
Here's our routine:
Wake up 6:30am (Z. is our new alarm clock). Feed him, change diaper, drop off hubby at work (we only have one car), get groceries (when necessary). Come back home, feed again and try to have breakfast myself. We then go for a walk with Z in the Moby and he falls asleep for about 2 hours while I clean around the house and have lunch. Then he wakes up and I feed him and change him, and then it's tummy time (which he still hates), and then I put him out in the sun from the waist down (no diaper) for 10-15 minutes. Later we listen to music and he spends the afternoon (4-6pm) nursing and sleeping in my arms. Then daddy comes home and I hand Z. over so I can make dinner, do laundry, etc. We have dinner while Z. nurses and then he spends some more time with daddy while I clean up. Then he nurses again while we watch something on the iPad and he falls asleep in my arms around 9pm and I put him in his bed around 9:30pm. He sleeps until 2:30am, and then goes back to sleep around 3:30am after nursing. He wakes up at 6:30am and we repeat the whole thing...
Your day sounded a lot like mine until this part.....man oh man, I'm jealous!
Yep, it's a huge blessing, which i attribute to the fact that we don't cosleep anymore. Our rooms are joined by a sliding door but since moving him there his schedule has been great!