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#1 of 8 Old 03-25-2012, 10:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey I'm guessing I'm not the only one of us with PPD, so I decided to start a thread. It's great to just be able to talk about it. 

 

Who else has PPD? How have you been feeling? What have you been doing it to manage it? 

 

Obviously I'll start. Mine has mostly been exhibiting itself as rage. Intense rage. Sadly, it's mostly been directed at DD1 (3 years), but since I figured out what it was a couple of weeks after birth, I've been keeping it mostly in check. I just have to keep reminding myself that she's just being a child and yelling at her is not appropriate. Thank goodness I've never had any urges to take it further than yelling. 

 

I took raw placenta in smoothies for about a week after birth. When I ran out of that it started getting bad, then I started taking the encapsulated placenta and that helped a lot. I really have to make sure I get my placenta pill or it's a hard day. I've also been seeing a therapist and that helps. DH is also helping me by making me realize when I'm getting out of line and helping me to do things that keep me sane (like keeping the house very clean). 


Superherolactivist.gif and mother to Peanut (03/20/09) and Twig (01/20/2012). Fighting for the rights of mothers out there who winner.jpg selectivevax.gif fly-by-nursing2.giffemalesling.GIFfamilybed1.gifhomebirth.jpg and much more! mdcblog5.gif 
 
 
 
    

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#2 of 8 Old 03-26-2012, 06:39 AM
 
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Hey lactatinggirl!  So sorry you are going through this.

 

I have been in counseling for a long time with depression.  I never wanted to take medication (I don't even like taking tylenol) so I've struggled with mild depression all my life.  My counselor was concerned that I would get PPD because I already had depression and she was right. At first it was crying when I was trying to get into the shower because I was in pain and needed help (but maybe that was normal) but then it escalated to thinking that my daughter would be better without me and thinking about leaving my family, though I wouldn't have gone through with it.

 

DD had trouble nursing in the beginning and ended up not getting enough to eat and consequently sleeping a lot which cycled back to not eating enough.  I was unable to see that she needed help and was just focusing on the fact that I couldn't feed my child and how that made me a failure.  Thank god my husband had the sound mind to insist we call the pediatrician.  Everything got better as far as her weight gain and health from there but I was still struggling.

 

Like I said, I felt like she would be better off without me.  I also didn't feel very happy being around her and preferred pumping to BFing her (which seems insane now because pumping is such a hassle).  Basically I wasn't bonding with her as well as I should have.  

 

Then one day I was feeling so depressed that I couldn't get myself out of bed to feed my screaming daughter even with my husband begging me to, I realized I needed help so I reluctantly decided to go on zoloft.  It was like a miracle.  I now feel happier and less overwhelmed but more importantly I feel much closer to my dd and can't imagine leaving her (and actually choose to take her with me places even when she could stay home with dad)

 

I know my situation is a bit different than yours since I've actually struggled with depression my whole life and not just PPD and I also don't mean to say you (or anyone) should go on meds, but I wanted to share my story so you know that you aren't alone. sometimes it's hard to see how bad things really are until you aren't feeling that way anymore, which is why depression and PPD are so difficult.

 

I hope things get better for you.  It's great that you are seeing a therapist. Counseling is a great tool for depression and can still be helpful with the life transition of having a new baby even if you dont have PPD.

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#3 of 8 Old 03-27-2012, 03:07 PM
 
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LG I don't have anything to add but to say I'm here for you if you ever need to chat.  Get and accept as much help as you can possibly get.  Hugs mama, you will make it through this.


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#4 of 8 Old 03-28-2012, 07:07 PM
 
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I'm still taking my raw prenatals three times a day. If I miss one, I can tell. I get tired and cranky fast. I also feel like shit and treat everyone accordingly if I don't eat enough. It's hard to get enough calories while b/fing. Drinking smoothies while I nurse helps a lot, but I have to stay on top of it and do it everyday otherwise I start slipping quickly. I feel like crap today because we haven't had much food in the house (because my husband has been guilt-tripping everytime I want to go get groceries and leave the kids with him grr). I let the baby cry for a few mins in his swing at bedtime until dad came to get him because I literally just couldn't bring myself to get up. Three kids who all need something all day long is draining and no one is here to help fill my spirits back up, it sucks. 

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#5 of 8 Old 03-28-2012, 07:12 PM
 
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Quote:

DH is also helping me by making me realize when I'm getting out of line and helping me to do things that keep me sane (like keeping the house very clean). 



Literally just skipping the dishes one day sets me into anxiety mode. 

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#6 of 8 Old 03-29-2012, 10:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marinwoo View Post

 

I know my situation is a bit different than yours since I've actually struggled with depression my whole life and not just PPD and I also don't mean to say you (or anyone) should go on meds, but I wanted to share my story so you know that you aren't alone. sometimes it's hard to see how bad things really are until you aren't feeling that way anymore, which is why depression and PPD are so difficult.

 

I hope things get better for you.  It's great that you are seeing a therapist. Counseling is a great tool for depression and can still be helpful with the life transition of having a new baby even if you dont have PPD.


Actually I've had depression off and on my whole life too. I really expected to get PPD with DD1, but weirdly it's like having her made all of my mental problems disappear. All depression and anxiety left me entirely. You can imagine my surprise when I got PPD this time after feeling so great for 3 years. 

 

I agree that therapy is great even if nothing is "wrong" with your life. Life in general is just stressful and I like having someone there that I can talk to that's not involved in the situation. Not trying to fix it or being biased, just listening. It's a great tool. 

 


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#7 of 8 Old 03-29-2012, 10:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imakecutebabies View Post

I'm still taking my raw prenatals three times a day. If I miss one, I can tell. I get tired and cranky fast. I also feel like shit and treat everyone accordingly if I don't eat enough. It's hard to get enough calories while b/fing. Drinking smoothies while I nurse helps a lot, but I have to stay on top of it and do it everyday otherwise I start slipping quickly. I feel like crap today because we haven't had much food in the house (because my husband has been guilt-tripping everytime I want to go get groceries and leave the kids with him grr). I let the baby cry for a few mins in his swing at bedtime until dad came to get him because I literally just couldn't bring myself to get up. Three kids who all need something all day long is draining and no one is here to help fill my spirits back up, it sucks. 


 

At first I thought you said raw placenta pills and I was going to say "holy crap! You take 3?!?" What are raw prenatals?


Superherolactivist.gif and mother to Peanut (03/20/09) and Twig (01/20/2012). Fighting for the rights of mothers out there who winner.jpg selectivevax.gif fly-by-nursing2.giffemalesling.GIFfamilybed1.gifhomebirth.jpg and much more! mdcblog5.gif 
 
 
 
    

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#8 of 8 Old 04-06-2012, 09:46 AM
 
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I'm so sorry. I also have been having PPD and trying to deal with it. I get such anxiety and started having panic attacks that I decided it was best to go on Zoloft. Thankfully it seems to be helping.

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