Being a midwife with young children and/or homeschooling? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 37 Old 01-24-2010, 06:06 PM
 
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I have dissolved in tears more than once at the seeming futility of trying to be myself outside of my responsibility for my children and relationship to DH. Simple things like reading a book, or using the bathroom are out of my reach, what makes me think I could actually have a *life* and *career*, especially something as high demand as midwifery? DH asks something like, "What are you going to do then? Give up? Work at Wal-Mart after the kids move out, just for the social interaction?"
Of course not! Doesn't that sound ridiculous? I don't know when I'll get this ball rolling, but I solidly intend to be the little old lady attending births and teaching young moms about breastfeeding and birth control. Like Dr. Ruth with a bunch of herbs and a medical kit!!

Mom of 4 aspiring midwife "Friend"ly seeker
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#32 of 37 Old 01-25-2010, 11:24 PM
 
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For those who feel the time might never come: Just wanted to reassure you. You won't always have children at home. I was hoping to be actively practicing by the time I was 50(as a CNM). But, single parenthood became a reality, and I switched majors(I went back to school at age 40). Got my AAS and eventual BS in Computer information systems(couldn't support the family while doing RN rotations- they wouldn't let us) so my actual formal education for midwifery didn't even start til I was 50! I have now finished my PEP process for NARM,and am studying to take the exam in Feb. I started on this midwifery road as childbirth educator and doula in 1984! so, it's never too late, but if i had it to do over again, I would do just what I did, homeschool(begun in 1983), homebirth, and when the kids are older and can fend for themselves(or are grown) then do the apprenticeship. I was a single parent from 1986-88, and 1993-2002 as well. ITA with the "seasons of life" comment. Midwifery is doable, while you homeschool, but for me it was most necessary that the kids had safety and security(given my personal situation). I had no family around at all. It will come in time, if it's meant to be...
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#33 of 37 Old 01-27-2010, 08:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cathicog View Post
For those who feel the time might never come: Just wanted to reassure you. You won't always have children at home. I was hoping to be actively practicing by the time I was 50(as a CNM). But, single parenthood became a reality, and I switched majors(I went back to school at age 40). Got my AAS and eventual BS in Computer information systems(couldn't support the family while doing RN rotations- they wouldn't let us) so my actual formal education for midwifery didn't even start til I was 50! I have now finished my PEP process for NARM,and am studying to take the exam in Feb. I started on this midwifery road as childbirth educator and doula in 1984! so, it's never too late, but if i had it to do over again, I would do just what I did, homeschool(begun in 1983), homebirth, and when the kids are older and can fend for themselves(or are grown) then do the apprenticeship. I was a single parent from 1986-88, and 1993-2002 as well. ITA with the "seasons of life" comment. Midwifery is doable, while you homeschool, but for me it was most necessary that the kids had safety and security(given my personal situation). I had no family around at all. It will come in time, if it's meant to be...
Thank you for this!
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#34 of 37 Old 01-27-2010, 02:01 PM
 
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cathicog- thank you for your beautiful post! It was very reassuring and just what I needed to read.

I have 4 young children and I homeschool them. I love the life we have and I also am finding it hard to balance my needs verses the needs of my children and husband. I am doing midwifery self study right now and I plan to take a CPR class next month and in March Karen Strange is coming to my state. I am hoping I can work things out so that I can attend her NRP class. I am taking baby steps and someday I will be able to more fully immerse myself in midwifery study.

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#35 of 37 Old 01-29-2010, 04:43 PM
 
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Update on me: I recently decided to stop apprenticing because I didn't have time for my family and other interests. As much as I love midwifery and want to be a midwife, I'm hugely relieved. I am continuing with school -- slowly! -- and hope that when the time is right for my family and me, I will find another apprenticeship. I imagine it will be several years.

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#36 of 37 Old 01-30-2010, 05:33 PM
 
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If you have young children and an apprenticeship just isn't in the cards right now, the best thing to do if you plan on continuing with midwifery, is to READ and keep up with current info! There are so many books out there...I know there is a list somewhere on this board. You can attend Birth Network meetings (or start one!) Midwifery Today magazines are a great place to get information too. Apprenticing is just one aspect of midwifery but it does require a good base of learned bookwork as well. I'm just saying that midwifery doesn't have to be an all -or- nothing thing. Midwives are constantly learning from many different sources....and as someone else said, your kids won't be little forever! Use this time to self study. Give yourself assignments like 20 vocab words per week....or explain in detail the ways to resolve a shoulder dystocia... how to recognize a postpartum hemmorhage and what to do about it. Pick up a neonatal resuscitation book and study that too. Sometimes, when you're apprenticing, it's hard to find the time or energy to do this kind of study so it's good to do it now. (Being up all night with an infant or toddler can compare to being up all night at a birth!)

There are a lot of students and a lot of apprentices right now (more so than when I started!)....those students and apprentices will have their own practice in a couple years...just waiting for you to come along with all the book smarts, eager for some hands on experience. You never know what's waiting for you.

Jen Burnett, DEM
Homeschooling mom to my 3 kids (10, 9 and 8)
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#37 of 37 Old 02-08-2010, 04:17 AM
 
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I finished my apprenticeship, book work, and passed the NARM this past 6 months. It's been a long road for me. I first became interested in midwifery after my second child was born in 1992. Since then I've had seven more children and I'm currently expecting number ten.

I believe there is a time and a season and that as we live our lives we gain valuable experience to bring to our clients when the time is right. I have been blessed with an amazing husband. All the successful midwives/moms I know have great husbands! Four years ago the time was finally right for me. I did a number of things that have helped me. I homeschool. I don't know how I could have made it through my apprenticeship without it. My older children have pulled a lot of weight. They cook, clean, teach, babysit, whatever needed to be done.

I also worked with a number of midwives who had slower practices in my area. This gave me the opportunity to see how different midwives do things and allowed me to stay around 2-3 births a month. I found that more than this was too much for my family. Clinic was one day a week. More than two was also tough.

I had the opportunity to spend a couple of weeks several different times over the four years working at busy birthcenters where I could do a lot of births in a short amount of time. These opportunities were away from home so I wan't distracted by my family. One of these was at CASA in El Paso, TX. This experience allowed me to build hands on skills that the homebirth midwives I worked with didn't use a lot.

A blessing for my family was having schedules. I'm pretty laid back and we kind of unschool, but we needed chore charts, meal charts, weekly schedules, etc to keep things running. Our home is NEVER spotless. I've picked my battles. Freezer meals is a wonderful tool! And having a second driver is priceless! Sadly, my two oldest have left home (we're excited for them to begin their own lives, just sad to see them go) and my next oldest won't be 16 until August.

Goodluck to all of you with young children, realize that time brings wonderful experiences that will add to your practice and make you a better midwife. In the past four years I've had a baby that came along to births and clinic. I had another baby with a serious heart defect that required my full attention and a break from midwifery. Now I'm expecting again and I'm starting my own practice! Now I get to decide how many births a month, when to schedule time off, what days work best for clinic. It's a process. One that enriches you and your family's lives. If midwifery is a career you intend to retire from then maybe there is a hurry. If not, enjoy the ride!

Tammy

Tammy, wife to Todd, mom to ten wonderful kiddos!
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