I've never done it before.... do you trust me? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 37 Old 06-17-2011, 10:26 AM
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I was a midwife before I had children.  Has my perspective changed?  In spades.  But, I was still a good midwife back then.


I personally prefer child-less providers, because I feel like their attention is more focused on me during birth.  Selfish, I know, but it is what it is.  I feel like a mother might be distracted by the goings-on at home, and a child-less provider less likely to be so.  That sounds terrible to say out loud, but it really is how I feel.

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#32 of 37 Old 07-29-2011, 06:31 PM
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I'm a childless birth pro. (doula. Apprenticed as a MW for a time). I've been not hired for being childless. I've also been hired for being childless!

I came into the birth world pretty young (22 I was holding the birth space). Im struggling through infertility. I'm working forwards being a MW.

Will I be a better MW postpartum? Don't know. I can only be what I am now. Will I not get hired? Sure. It hurts sometimes but that is okay.

I don't plan on hiring a mw at all. As for doula, it is no concern to me if she has birthed herself or not. I don't need her story - I need her experience as a birth professional and to know her way around a camera. smile.gif

We are all coming from different places. Isnt it beautiful?

Birth Attendant. Placenta Encapsulator. Reiki Practitioner. Vegan. Aspiring Midwife. Breastfeeding Educator Student. Two years of trying for our love child.
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#33 of 37 Old 04-01-2013, 06:48 PM - Thread Starter
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So lovely! I bet by now you have a.... 12-14 month old?! How exciting!


I am now 14 weeks pregnant stork-suprise.gif, and I can also say that my perspective is now rather different. I do not think that it would have/will change my ability to be an effective birth pro, but I guess there will be a new component of empathy through which I can relate to those moms more than ever before.


Even so, I think that passionate & dedicated people are capable of anything. Period.

Mother-to-be and full-time dreamer. Love to snuggle my stillheart.gifDH stillheart.gif, and my pup and kitties! hearts.gif


rainbow1284.gif "Embrace this moment, remember we are eternal beings, all pain is an illusion." rainbow1284.gif

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#34 of 37 Old 04-02-2013, 12:13 PM
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Someone who hasn't given birth can absolutely be a great doula or midwife. I don't think it would affect my decision regarding which doula or midwife I chose, that will have much more to do with how well we click, how they make me feel, etc. In some ways I can see it being easier for someone who hasn't experienced childbirth to minimize the discomfort, pain, and so forth - like a male doctor who has never had menstrual cramps, poo-pooing about how they aren't so bad or its just psychological. But even people who have experienced childbirth can be dismissive assholes, so I do not consider the experience of childbirth to be the main determining factor for who makes a great birth attendant. Qualities I want  - someone who is supportive of me and my decisions, respectful, patient, warm, a kind touch, confident, knowledgeable, strong, empathetic, with a good sense of humor, fun, positive, and enthusiastic.... Perhaps experiencing birth themselves has helped them attain these qualities, but perhaps not. 

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#35 of 37 Old 04-03-2013, 07:10 AM
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Chuzzie- Congrads!!!


To the question. For me I want a doula that has given birth. MIDWIFE- I don't care 

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#36 of 37 Old 04-05-2013, 10:54 AM
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I would want to know if the doula had given birth or not and if she had given birth how that birth(s) went, but it would only be a small factor and I wouldn't turn away a doula because she had not given birth, I just want to know where people are coming from. I too would be more interested in her actual doula experience, to make sure she had plenty of experience and tools to be able to deal with a wide variety of situations.

Katie trekkie.gif - Married to Mike 06/02/01, Mom to Sydney Anne born 11/21/09 and Alice Maeryn & Oliver Thomas born 04/24/13  hug.gif 



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#37 of 37 Old 04-05-2013, 12:21 PM
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One of the midwives I hired had never given birth. I don't know if it was her experience or the fact she had never given birth that made her terrible. She ate stinky food in my house (never do that to a laboring woman), tool loud phone calls (broke my concentration), was more concerned about me leaking on the floor than helping with walking(she chased me wth a chux instead) and left me at the hospital in the middle of a contraction. I think if you haven't given birth it is really important to think about the state of mind laboring women are in. That being said, I think women that haven't given birth can do a great job.
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