I was a midwife before I had children. Has my perspective changed? In spades. But, I was still a good midwife back then.
I personally prefer child-less providers, because I feel like their attention is more focused on me during birth. Selfish, I know, but it is what it is. I feel like a mother might be distracted by the goings-on at home, and a child-less provider less likely to be so. That sounds terrible to say out loud, but it really is how I feel.
I came into the birth world pretty young (22 I was holding the birth space). Im struggling through infertility. I'm working forwards being a MW.
Will I be a better MW postpartum? Don't know. I can only be what I am now. Will I not get hired? Sure. It hurts sometimes but that is okay.
I don't plan on hiring a mw at all. As for doula, it is no concern to me if she has birthed herself or not. I don't need her story - I need her experience as a birth professional and to know her way around a camera.
We are all coming from different places. Isnt it beautiful?
So lovely! I bet by now you have a.... 12-14 month old?! How exciting!
I am now 14 weeks pregnant , and I can also say that my perspective is now rather different. I do not think that it would have/will change my ability to be an effective birth pro, but I guess there will be a new component of empathy through which I can relate to those moms more than ever before.
Even so, I think that passionate & dedicated people are capable of anything. Period.
Mother-to-be and full-time dreamer. Love to snuggle my DH , and my pup and kitties!
"Embrace this moment, remember we are eternal beings, all pain is an illusion."
Someone who hasn't given birth can absolutely be a great doula or midwife. I don't think it would affect my decision regarding which doula or midwife I chose, that will have much more to do with how well we click, how they make me feel, etc. In some ways I can see it being easier for someone who hasn't experienced childbirth to minimize the discomfort, pain, and so forth - like a male doctor who has never had menstrual cramps, poo-pooing about how they aren't so bad or its just psychological. But even people who have experienced childbirth can be dismissive assholes, so I do not consider the experience of childbirth to be the main determining factor for who makes a great birth attendant. Qualities I want - someone who is supportive of me and my decisions, respectful, patient, warm, a kind touch, confident, knowledgeable, strong, empathetic, with a good sense of humor, fun, positive, and enthusiastic.... Perhaps experiencing birth themselves has helped them attain these qualities, but perhaps not.
Katie - Married to Mike 06/02/01, Mom to Sydney Anne born 11/21/09 and Alice Maeryn & Oliver Thomas born 04/24/13
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