I received my training and license in Washington State, so I'm speaking from that perspective, ok?
Wow, you're in a tough spot. Your midwife probably has either legal or "standards of care" criteria involved in your situation; that is, after a certain point is reached (in your case, your hemoglobin and platelet count)that is considered to be "high risk", a midwife is on very shaky ground attending someone in that category. On a philosophical level, is she willing to put her license on the line to accomodate your desires for a homebirth in the event something goes awry? You may not hold her accountable, but other people would.
I've seen comments on these boards to the effect that too much training raises the possibility of midwives not trusting women and or/birth - it's true, once you've experienced bad things you tend not to want them to happen again. And midwives can go too far in trusting technology and "science" etc. But unfortunately, in your case,
your anemia *does* put you at a greater risk of hemorrhage, and means for stopping hemorrage *are* more available in a setting (hospital) where they're used more, than at home. I don't know what you've been able to do in terms of iron therapy, or alfalfa tablets, or herbs to raise your counts. Have you been this anemic throughout your pregnancy?
I guess the bottom line is how willing are you to take responsibility for your life and the life of your child. This is not meant to be scary - there was a really wonderful thread about unassisted birth where the writer really really examined what that meant - and concluded that for her, that total responsibility was what she wanted and needed; any of us could be "hit by a bus" tomorrow - life is uncertain.
If you and your family decide that you truly accept the potential risk of massive ('cause that's the big concern) hemorrhage by not being at a location where help could be immediate, then that's *your choice*.
But again, if your midwife will attend you at home only by insisting (or being legally required to) call 911 at crowning, is that kind of potential circus atmosphere worth it to stay home for most everything? If it's possible to have the EMT's wait outside your house in case that's needed, I suppose that's the best case situation; but honestly, not that many EMT's are that respectful of women who choose to birth at home.
I personally had an unexpected bad outcome with the birth of my first child, that experience didn't change my trust and belief in the innate normality of birth, it did teach me that you can't control everything in the awesome process of giving life.
I think I've written a book here - sorry it's so long, but those are the issues that come up for me when thinking of being a midwife to someone "out of the range of normal"
Good luck! Please let me know how things go. Bottom line is, try to be in a place where you won't end up with "what ifs" - what if I had stayed home??? or what if I hadn't gone to the hospital??? that can really weigh you down.