It is very important to me to know how my care was received by families! I actually provide a postpartum client opinion survey at the 6wk visit, which allows them to rate me on a scale of 1-5 on various matters pertaining to prenatal, birth and pp services. It also has room for general comments. When I hand them the survey, I let ppl know that while we might simply have to agree to disagree on some points because the way I do some things is not much open to change, well--I hope to be growing and evolving and also to have some general flexibility that allows me to fit better with as many clients as possible. So, any/all comments help to some degree--praise, criticism and suggestions are *wanted* and helpful to me.
Yes, there is most always some face-to-face discussion, before the 6wk visit, btwn me and moms about the birth/all care. But I give them the survey and ask that they get around to sending it back *someday*, emphasizing that there is no need to do it immediately. I have heard some mws say that it may well be better to ask fams to wait a few months before doing the survey (or not to give it to them until later)--to let the whole experience settle in, as it were, time for clients to gain some perspective. A mom who feels she had a fantastic birth may be too 'high' to mention anything 'negative'; a mom who had a disappointing experience (even if that had little/nothing to do w/the mw's care) may have a hard time saying anything 'positive'. If this makes sense.
In any event, do try to let her know--mws need to know how they are doing and how they might need to change. I agree that 'I statements' are the way to go....'I wish that...' 'I felt abc when you did xyz'...Also, you might want to start by saying, early in the visit, that you would like the opportunity to give her some feedback, and ask if she has the time at this visit. This first of all gives her a bit of a head's up, always appreciated. Secondly, if she doesn't have the time that day, you can either set another app't to talk, or perhaps she would prefer you wrote a letter. Most people accept critique more readily (if they're the type to accept it at all!) if they have a bit of prep time, and if it arrives in a form they are comfortable receiving. And yes, yes, yes, do include specific comments on what you appreciated along with the critique.
good luck! btw, I personally feel that pp care can be every bit as important as prenatal and birth care, to the health and well being of mom and baby (tho some motherbabies need pp care less than others, for sure). And while many other mws feel the same way, I do know some who don't. Those mws need feedback from clients to help them adjust their thinking and services, IMO.