I had a hard time with this with my first baby, seven years ago. Now I am (finally) pregnant again, and I'm looking for advice about tapping into your pregnant-mama self, and getting out of the pregnant health care provider head space. I'm due in December (23wks now), trying to wrap my head around the idea of embracing all the unknowable weeks to come. Maybe it's the blessing/curse of "knowing too much" about all the things that can go wrong. (Most of the folks I know who have had these things happen are friends/coworkers/classmates--not clients, as one might guess.) It seems that many of us who work in pregnancy and birth have a little mental partition, trying not to count too much on everything turning out well, even though we know rationally that usually, it does. I don't want those fears to eat away at the pleasure of being pregnant, growing a big belly, feeling (and seeing) the baby move.
Any advice for pregnancy and birth preparation? I had a long, tough labor with my son. He was born direct OP after pushing for almost 5 hours. I am working to prevent a repeat of the dreaded OP labor, but I kind of think that my worry that he would *be* OP made him OP.
Trying to remember to tell myself positive mantras, "my baby is growing just as she should", etc.
I don't have any good advice, but just wanted to say that I am going through the same thing. I am 18 weeks along with my 4th baby. This is the first one that I have been a midwife during. My last pregnancy I was a new student and still at the point where I thought all births were magical and wonderful and perfect (you know, new students....). Now, I have to remind myself that it would be highly unlikely for me to get every complication that I have seen and chances are good that things will be quite normal in my pregnancy/birth.
Erika, mama to three beautiful kids (plus one gestating), and wife to one fantastic man.
I had a baby smack in the middle of my busy apprenticeship. The pregnancy was awful but the birth was heavenly (and he was even posterior with a nuchal hand). You will be fine just make sure you talk to your midwife and remember that you may know a lot but you are still a client and need support as such.
Homeschooling, midwifery mom to 4 beautiful blessings(8,6,4,1)
Have you considered Hypnobabies? I am a midwifery student almost done with school and pregnant with my first baby. I am completing the Hypnobabies home study course and I can't tell you 100% if it's Hypnobabies or just my own trust in this process, but while progressing through the course, I am finding it exceptionally easy to differentiate MY pregnancy and MY future birth from any other pregnancies and births that I have attended in the past or am attending in the present.
I always do my best not to bring any birth baggage with me to any births. Each birth is it's own...no two births are EVER the same. The outcome of each birth and postpartum is directly influenced by so much: the mother's emotional well-being, the physical health of mother and baby, the birth philosophy of the midwife/care-provider, the intervention level of the midwife/care-provider/doula/etc, you know all of this already, but reminders never hurt.
Try your very best to be 'just mama' during your pregnancy and birth...not 'midwife'. You are many mothers' midwife, but this baby's only mama, ya know?
Anyway, I really do recommend Hypnobabies. Not only does it teach you incredible tools for self-hypnosis and deep relaxation, but it reaffirms (again and again and again) that YOUR pregnancy and YOUR birth is unique and beautiful and has nothing to do with any other births you may have heard about (or in your case, attended) in the past.
Sprat , Certified Professional Midwife, loved very much by Sprig , the most open-minded, loving, gentle man in the world, and now Sprout walking, talking, how on earth is she this big?! on begins with .
I had a similar birth to yours with my first while in midwifery school and then gave birth to my second almost 5 years later. A book and CD I can recommended is: "25 Ways to Awaken Your Birth Power" bu Danette Watson. It helped me get into my pregnancy and birth space and focus joyfully on this moment. Part (short) meditations, part flowing line drawings- really beautiful book. I would often pick it up and open it and read that entry and it was often just what I needed. Best wishes.
Hi Junebug, first time momma, edd early Dec. and newly graduated midwife here. At first I did try to hand over everything about my care to my midwives. And while for the most part I have continued along that avenue, part of me has also really accepted that this knowledge base is something I bring to the table. I think there is power in allowing yourself to be as knowledgeable as you are, but don't hold back asking for help/advice from either professionals or moms. Just the other day, I woke up with this pressure in my chest-doing a once over myself, I *knew* it wasn't likely a warning sign for anything serious, but because I don't want to risk downplaying something that is a warning sign I texted a friend of mine who triaged me and when all was said and done, I felt like I had my "mothering the mother" needs met because of doing so.
I've also been luxuriating in the random things patients of mine have done over the years, picking and choosing what I want to do. For instance- really making time for prenatal yoga and an aqua-aerobics class. You may want to find a group birthy class to take too.