Advice on supporting my friend in her labour and delivery... - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 03-27-2012, 09:45 AM - Thread Starter
AndreaJay's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 41
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My best friend will be giving birth and she really wants me to be one of her support people in her experience, and sort of stand in as a doula. Though I'd never begin to think I have the knowledge or ability of an experienced doula, I do plan to work toward becoming a doula down the road (right now I'm too busy playing with my baby- twins to delve too much into something new.), and I at least have the experience of giving birth to take some of the nerves out of the whole scene. I had a doula myself, and she was the glue that held my labouring experience together by times. I'm honored to have the opportunity to be so supportive of my friend, though I recognize being a support person is a new experience for me, so I want to be as informed and ready for this as I can be.

I hands down recommend getting an experienced doula in on the birth scene- I myself would never give birth without one, though I believe finances are playing into my friend's decision to go without all together. Meaning it will be her husband and I with her.

Words of wisdom? Advice?


"Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you."

AndreaJay is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 6 Old 03-27-2012, 11:57 AM
starrlamia's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 533
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

read Birth Partner by Penny Simkin, depending on how much time you have you can also look at the recommended reading for doula training courses, here is DONA's list

Aspiring Midwife applying to University for fall 2011!
starrlamia is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 03-27-2012, 12:40 PM
BMDoula's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 5
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

How long do you have till your friend's due date? There are many books and videos to give yourself a crash course on doula support. 


Also, if you're not comfortable being the main doula-type support, and your friend is concerned about money, maybe you can find a newly trained doula in your area who is willing to work for free or a reduced fee? 


Books I suggest:


This is a great overview of labor and pushing positions:


This video has some techniques for massage and pain relief in labor:



This video is a great childbirth ed. crash course, and it has some wonderful visuals for labor and pushing positions:



The best of luck to you and your friend on this journey! 

BMDoula is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 03-27-2012, 08:31 PM
SilaMarila's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: CA
Posts: 1,883
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Many newly trained doulas may be willing to forgo charging or charge very little in order to get births toward their certification. Perhaps see if there are any doula training courses in your area or a DONA contact where you could find a newly trained doula.


Otherwise, I second the recommendation for the Birth Partner. It is written with doulas and dad's in mind as the birth parters and is a great reference. I keep it in my doula bag! There are also drawings of different positions that you will find helpful.

Married to my love stillheart.gif, Mommy to W ('09) homebirth.jpg and Doula.

 brokenheart.gifbrokenheart.gif God has answered our prayers & we welcomed our baby girl earth side 11/24/13 h20homebirth.gif

SilaMarila is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 03-28-2012, 02:10 PM
pokeyac's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 4,724
Mentioned: 58 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 121 Post(s)

If all you do is be there for your friend, it could make all the difference.  Don't feel like you need to read a bunch of books or learn a bunch of new skills.  They did a study where the labor support/doula did nothing but sit in the room while the woman was in labor and answer questions if she was asked.   She didn't touch the woman at all.  And the study showed that women had better outcomes just by a supportive knowledgeable person being in the room.  Your friend asked you to be there for a reason.  Maybe she finds your presence calming, or you've been there through tough times with her in the past.  Talk to her about what kind of birth she would like to have, practice some comfort measures with her and see what you can do to support here.  Good luck!

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Married to a wonderful woman
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Check out our
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
pokeyac is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 04-03-2012, 08:45 AM
eabbmom's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 207
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I suggest any of the Ina May Gaskin books and just making sure you protect the birth space and support her husband. Some people at a birth don't realize the little things that can throw a mom off so just be in tune to what she needs.


eabbmom is offline  

Doula , Doula Students

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 14,814

20 members and 14,794 guests
Deborah , emmy526 , girlspn , HomerFish , jamesmorrow , JElaineB , KassandraS , katelove , Katherine73 , Lucee , Lydia08 , Michele123 , moominmamma , RollerCoasterMama , rubelin , Springshowers , sren , transpecos , Turquesa
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.