Who have you told/ When will you tell? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 46 Old 06-26-2011, 05:11 PM
 
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we told the majority of my immediate family on father's day! before that only my dh and best friend knew.  we were dying to tell everyone in the family as soon as we found out i was pregnant so it's felt like an eternity.  half of my fam was on vacation for a while and we wanted to have everyone together when we announced it. we had put it at the end of my dad's father's day card and had him read it out loud.  he was having trouble reading my writing and my husband and i were going crazy waiting for him to get to the end of the card.  at one point my brother offered to read it for him and we had to intercept the card exchange.  after what felt like an eternity, my dad read it out loud and all the women in my family went berserk!  tears, screaming, hugging, jumping up and down- it was all that we hoped it would be and more.  we got on the phone and called my MIL in San Diego and told her- I'm sure her neighbors heard her scream! 1st grandchild on my husband's side so it is a huge deal for my MIL.  we had to tell my sister over the phone also, she congratulated us but i could tell she's having a tough time with it.  she went through several rounds of ivf and had all sorts of difficulties and obstacles trying to conceive- she had to terminate the one pregnancy she had due to a rare heart abnormality in 1997. i almost feel guilty about my pregnancy when i think of all she's been through.  i know she's happy for me but i'm sure it brings up all kinds of memories and emotions for her.  i don't know what i can do. greensad.gif

 

 

other than the family, we'll wait to tell everyone else at the end of the 1st trimester.

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#32 of 46 Old 06-27-2011, 04:38 PM
 
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That would be really frustrating!! Poor thing. As long as you, DH, and DD are happy..then that's that! She'll come around though..

It's exciting for your DD to have a baby sibling...my sister and I are 2 years apart and are the best of friends.

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Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

Well, DH told MIL last night. See the OP for what happened last time.

She didnt say congratulations, she wasnt excited, and she said, "Well, I was really hoping that DD would have some more time to have all of the attention on her." And probably various other things that would make me hate her but I told DH he couldnt tell me anything else. She sent me an email today about what time she is coming to pick DD up tomorrow, and she didnt mention ONE WORD about it (Dh told her when I wasnt present). It would absolutely KILL her to say congratulations. I hate hate hate that she makes everything about how she feels about it. I AM THE ONE HAVING THE BABY. I HAVE TO CARE FOR THEM BOTH. NOT HER. Ugghh....Ok Im done smile.gif


 

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#33 of 46 Old 06-28-2011, 10:44 AM
 
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I have told a RL friend who is pregnant with her first and due early March, and I've told a couple of FB friends but asked them not to mention it on my Wall so that family doesn't see. We're going to wait till closer to 2nd trimester to tell family due to the miscarriage we had back in '09, and also because they don't understand our "open to life" mentality and will worry that we're getting in over our heads. Several of them (mother, grandmother, aunts...) have made comments since our youngest was born like, "Y'all are done now, right? Y'all don't need any more kids." Wow, way to live our lives for us. irked.gif

However, we are moving out of our house early next month and will be in limbo until the end of July and the kids and I will be staying with my parents for those couple of weeks. I don't know if I can hide it that long being in such close proximity all the time. We'll see...


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#34 of 46 Old 06-28-2011, 12:06 PM
 
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Told my parents, my midwife, my dentist (had to explain why I wasn't getting my fillings done for 2 months), and my boards.  I'll tell my siblings and DH's sister in a couple of weeks.  I'll tell a few friends soon.  Probably the rest will wait until 2nd trimester, including DH's mom who has spilled enough of our beans in the past. 


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#35 of 46 Old 07-26-2011, 07:47 AM
 
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Bumping this thread to say that we shared the news with our extended families over the weekend and told several friends last night!  It was exciting. 

I'm actually feeling even more excited now that everyone knows, and a bit relieved too.  Now I just have to tell my supervisor, but I might wait a bit still.

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#36 of 46 Old 07-26-2011, 08:59 AM
 
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We're still keeping hush on things now.  We *may* tell our parents this weekend, but I haven't decided.  I really want some more confirmation that everything is ok.  We had an u/s at 7 weeks, but I am still worried something has happened/gone wrong since.  I have a doppler (yes, I know the controversy), and am hoping that just maybe I'll be able to hear the hb at 10 weeks (which will be at the end of this week).  I am a private person, so I do not want to risk sharing the news to only later find out I lost the baby.  I do not want that kind of attention drawn to me- I wouldn't find it supportive, just intrusive.  So, I don't know.  I guess if I can find the hb, then I'll share, figuring most likely all is well, if not, I'll wait til I get my NT scan (not yet scheduled).  


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#37 of 46 Old 07-26-2011, 09:26 AM
 
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We're still keeping it a secret too.  I've told a few close friends who we don't see in person and one of my sisters (the one that will be taking care of DD when I'm in labor and the one that is our only babysitter) but that's it for now. 

 

I am dying to tell my daughter.  It's so hard keeping this a secret from her!  Our plan was to wait until 13 weeks to tell her because we wanted confirmation that all was well and we also wanted to reduce the amount of time she'd have to wait.  But, it's getting so hard to not share this big news with her. 

 

My nuchal screening in 8/4 so I'm thinking we'll get to tell her shortly after that.  I'm then going to let her tell her grandparents (if she wants to).  Figured it would be a good way for her to get excited and feel some ownership over the news.


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#38 of 46 Old 07-27-2011, 12:13 PM
 
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I have Hyperemesis so I had to tell people a lot sooner than I wanted to. My daughter was visiting her Grandparents in another state and was waiting for her little brother and I to fly out and stay for two weeks before coming home. I had to call her and tell her that I couldn't fly out because I was so sick, then I had to tell her the news over the phone. I wanted to tell her in person a little later on in the pregancy. She is 10 and a big worrywart. I also had to tell all of my friends back home why I wasn't flying out any longer. Another friend heard that I was sick and posted it on FB so a lot more people know now.

I teach a weekly craft class for Children but since I have been  so sick I had to find subs for the last 6 weeks. My boss sent a huge mass e-mail about my early pregancy complications to everyone who is part of the co-op which is over 250 people.

When you are dealing with a major illness it is hard to keep it a secret. Most people are like" Gee, I am sorry you are so sick, but congratulations!!"


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#39 of 46 Old 07-27-2011, 07:37 PM
 
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Well, one of my good friends was there when I took the pregnancy test so she has known since like 2.5 weeks....husband and bff knew a few days later.  My husband told his twin brother and sister at like 4 weeks as he felt he needed the support due to a prior miscarriage.  We then waited to tell my parents until 10 weeks, as well as my two bosses.  I have now just starting telling people, and will be telling his parents when we see them next in August.  It has not been as easy task hiding the nausea and low energy level!  I feel very grateful for the ladies I work with, cuz now I just get a sympathetic nod whenever I have my "this sucks right now" look on my face.

 

All of this is so exciting, and I would just like to say how exciting it is to share it with other mothers especially on MDC.  So thank you all for sharing your stories as well!


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#40 of 46 Old 07-31-2011, 04:53 AM
 
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My husband knew first and then my girls figured it out.  I was in the shower and both came in to ask about going outside to play and my little one said "mommy your boobs are bigger"  they looked at each other and smiled really big and then asked me if there was a baby in my tummy.  I didn't want to tell them yet since they took it so hard when we m/c'd.  However how can I keep it a secret if they're going to be checking out everything about for changes... geez! 

 

Told my brother and sister 2 weeks ago but I guess my sister knew because my 8 year old texted her and told her.  My dad was pretty upset with me about it.  He thinks we shouldn't be having more.  My husband stays home and is the worst house wife but the best daddy.  My dad also thinks there is no way I can make enough for us to survive... News flash daddy, your little girl make more than enough.  But I would never tell him that. 

 

My work already knows, My bosses are women and my good friends so they so excited they're turning carwheels.  They're discussing bringing baby to work for the first week I'm back... for me of course not because they want baby time!

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#41 of 46 Old 08-05-2011, 06:37 AM
 
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I told DD yesterday!  At first she cried but she's coming around and keeps saying the cutest things-- listing things that won't change and then also listing things she can do with the baby when it comes out.  Before bed last night she yelled into my tummy "baby are you really in there?"  And, she's decided that we'll name it "arugala" :)

 

Now we're going to start telling our family.  And, I'm going to tell my work soon as well.  I'm feeling really worried about telling both family and work but I don't think with family there is anything to worry about.  (Work really will be bad.)  It's just weird keeping this big news secret so long that it doesn't even feel like news by the time you tell it! 

 

I think I'm going to have DD call my parents this afternoon to tell them; pretty sure they will be thrilled at least. 


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#42 of 46 Old 08-05-2011, 06:51 AM
 
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@parsley... since I think you mentioned you are an academic, why do you think work will be bad?  I'm a postdoc, so I am just starting on this academic track, and am very nervous about the reactions of the faculty and graduate students.  I have already told my supervisor, since we're talking about grants etc for next year, and he was extremely excited and supportive (much to my relief, I was extremely nervous!).

 

 


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#43 of 46 Old 08-05-2011, 07:39 AM
 
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@ Parsley..."arugala" ROTFLMAO.gifso cute!

 

 

Last weekend we told our parents and son.  My dh also told his sister who is also preggy.  

 

When I told my son, he said "Thanks Mom!!!"  He was sooo excited.  So far he seems very happy with the idea, though I'm sure there will be adjustment once the baby comes.  

 

I will wait til the end of the 1T to make the "big" announcement.  I am nervous about telling work.  I work with young adults with disabilities and am starting in a new location this school year.  New boss....yikes.  I also worry about the parents/guardians...they may not be too happy that their children are going to have another change...


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#44 of 46 Old 08-05-2011, 08:33 AM
 
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I'm 14 wks today and we still haven't told anyone. My boys came with to the first midwife appointment, but it didn't register what was happening and they didn't even tell older sister where we went. Today the doula is coming for a getting to know you visit at our house though. I'm hoping we can still talk while the kids play without my kids finding out. :) It's just a wait and see game. Next friday I'm actually going to see a new midwife and will need to bring all the kids, so I'm expecting the news to get out either today or next friday. When the kids find out I'll let them tell the grandparents. 


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#45 of 46 Old 08-05-2011, 02:57 PM
 
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TeamGR - With regard to work, I'm certain that a few people will be happy for me, but I've also found that there is a VERY strong idea among sr. faculty (at my institution and elsewhere in my social sciences field) that women should wait until tenure before starting to have a family.  This will be my second and I'm an assistant prof.  Some people will be concerned for me and my career.  Others will decide that I've "picked" family over career and write me off as a serious scholar.  Fortunately my institution has some good policies so I'm not quite as doomed as that...  Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about any of this in more detail. 

 

On a happier note, we told my parents and sisters today and everyone was so thrilled and also surprised.  I'm glad we told.  We'll tell DHs family this weekend and start telling local friends as well.  Maybe then I can stop worrying about whether or not I'm showing...

 

DD has picked a new name today-- Chrysanthemum Jane Banks or Chrysanthemum Michael Banks.  I kind of love Chrysanthemum Jane but DH had previously vetoed Chrysanthemum as not a real name :) 

 

(Perhaps I should explain that DD has a plant name and LOVES the book Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes and we just finished reading Mary Poppins by P.L. Travers). 


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#46 of 46 Old 08-05-2011, 05:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I finally told my employers this week. They are in their 90's and I cook for them twice a day. They were shocked and pretty silent about it. I think they are worried about what will happen after I have the baby (I will need time off, and they cant cook for themselves, so they will have to find someone for the 6 weeks Im going to request.


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