Who have you told/ When will you tell? - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-31-2011, 07:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've told:
My three best friends
The owner of our local AP store- also a friend
A fellow MDCer that I know IRL- also a friend
And a random lady at the pool- IDK why I did this. She had a newborn, and I just couldnt resist

DH is telling his mom and sister next week. His sister is coming home from an international trip and he is picking her up from the airport that is 5 hours away.

Im nervous about MIL's reaction. Ive chosen not to be present because I still hold her reaction to me being pregnant with DD against her. She said "Are you serious? Youre joking! What? You dont even have health insurance. You can not have a child if you dont have insurance."- Thanks, way to kill the excitement. Way to be excited about your very first grandchild. Then she said numerous times throughout my pregnancy that she thought for sure that she would at least have her child out of the house before her son started having kids. She shouldnt have expected that since she had kids 10 years apart and her daughter got held back a grade. 28 is really not "early" to have a child. So needless to say, Im a little paranoid about what she will say this time. She has made so may comments about how awesome it was to have kids so far apart (they hated each other until SIL was almost 16 and could tell us stuff she couldnt tell her mom) every time we have said anything like, "Well, one day, when DD has a little sister...".

Im super excited to tell my Dad and Stepmom and my neighbors (who are really close friends). My stepmom squealed so loud last time and dropped the phone, so she had to call me back smile.gif She and my dad want lots and lots of grandkids, so they'll be happy.

Anyway, who have you told?
Are you waiting? Who are you most excited to tell? Who are you nervous to tell?

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Old 06-01-2011, 04:58 AM
 
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I've told:  my doctor and my personal trainer.    My three best friends (1 here in Amsterdam, 1 in Maryland, 1 in NYC).  I cannot WAIT to tell our families but want to do so in person.  So June 11th to my side of the family (we are all going on vacation together!) and July 9th to DH's family (we will be visiting the USA).   My parents are here with me right now and I keep almost blurting it out but I really think it will be more fun to tell them with the whole group, all sisters and partners, in attendance.

 

Also, EDD is my mom's birthday!  :)

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Old 06-01-2011, 06:30 PM
 
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My husband and I had a long talk about this one...I work giving anesthesia and work in many places where I could be exposed to radation such as the cardiac cath lab, orthopedics as well as MRI so we had to tell my work people so I wouldn't be scheduled in those areas. It felt really funny not telling our family so we have slowly been telling the close family and my best friends. My husband is from Australia so we were on skype today with his parents which was AWESOME!!!!

 

It's all been very exciting!!!

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Old 06-02-2011, 04:39 AM
 
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I have told DH of course, my Mom, and 3 of my closest IRL friends.  I have also told my DDC from Lily (we have our own off board) and we are planning on telling DHs parents tonight.  In a couple of weeks we will go visit my family and I will tell my brothers in person.  Otherwise, we are going to wait until the end of the first trimester. 


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Old 06-02-2011, 05:43 AM
 
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Well my DH knows, of course. Then there's that one friend who I always happen to run into the day after I get a bfp. Then I told that random neighbor (why did I do that again?). 

 

I'm planning to call my mw in about 2 more weeks.

 

We'll tell family and close friends at around 12 weeks.

 

ETA: Our reason for waiting is just to keep it to ourselves for a little while. We have a huge family and all the questions, fuss, etc. can sometimes be too much of a good thing :)

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Old 06-02-2011, 07:05 AM
 
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I just read this blog post, essentially about not waiting to tell, that this is BIG NEWS :)  http://pacingthepanicroom.blogspot.com/2008/10/put-out-those-cigarettes.html  

 

Made me tear up a bit!

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Old 06-02-2011, 08:15 AM
 
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I did the exact opposite as we did with DD. We just told everyone! It may not have been the wisest thing to do but we were so excited. With DD we waited until the 2T.

 

I guess I just figured that, if we experience a loss, I will need support. So, as hard as it will be to share the unhappy news, I will be thankful that I can be open about it.

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Old 06-02-2011, 08:43 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by montanamama1 View Post

I guess I just figured that, if we experience a loss, I will need support. So, as hard as it will be to share the unhappy news, I will be thankful that I can be open about it.


Yeah that! 

 

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Old 06-02-2011, 02:32 PM
 
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I am not announcing any time soon because I had losses, but that doesn't mean I've kept my mouth completely shut. I told my 3 best friends at work, DH (obviously), my midwife, one of my SIL's, and my son's teacher/workout buddy. Wow I really need to stop telling people! love.gif

 

We will probably "officially" announce well into the 2nd trimester or when it is pretty much inevitable. 


Jesse, mama to my three wonderful boys, our newest born at home late Jan 2012 luxlove.gif

 

 

 

 

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Old 06-02-2011, 05:41 PM
 
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We won't officially annouce until I can't hide it anymore, lol. We told everyone and their sister last time and it ended in a miscarriage. That was rough, having everyone at work know, and having to delete comments and send people messages on Facebook. Having to post a miscarriage annoucement on Facebook because we had annouce the pregnancy on there we pretty tough. I think I'll tell my mum and family at 14 weeks, until then just close a few close friends know. I love my mum but she can't keep her mouth shut so I'll wait a few weeks.


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Old 06-02-2011, 11:07 PM
 
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I've told my bff and another friend. James is wanting to hold back telling people until further along due to the miscarriages. I feel ok with the people that knew through the mc and it was really good to be supported. So I don't know. We have no grand plans, just wait and see at this point.


Jennifer, mama to two beautiful blessings (ds 3/2000 and dd 9/2002) who are growing and amazing me every day and hoping for another!
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Old 06-03-2011, 04:43 PM
 
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This is an IVF baby and since all our friends and family knew we were doing the IVF cycle, we figured it would be futile to try to hide the BFP. So there are about 30 people that know already. I hope I haven't jinxed myself... but I can never keep my mouth shut about anything anyway.


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Old 06-04-2011, 01:28 AM
 
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I haven't told anyone yet.  I haven't decided when I want to either.  DP is dying to tell everyone, and keeps bugging me to spill the beans.  This is my first pregnancy though, and somehow I don't feel comfortable telling everyone yet.  

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Old 06-04-2011, 08:44 PM
 
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We've told immediate family and close friends. We'll wait a little longer to make it known to the rest of the world. Maybe after the first ultrasound in a couple of weeks if all goes well. It was an IVF cycle so the ultrasound will probably be around 6 weeks if I recall correctly from the first time around.


Cynthia

Wife to Matt. Mom to Alex (2/8/08). Expecting our second (2/6/12).

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Old 06-05-2011, 05:34 PM
 
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oh man. I'm having so much trouble keeping my mouth shut! I've told too many people already. I just found out Saturday AM and I've already told so many of my good friends, my parents, etc. This is my first time-- it's a HUGE deal!


Happily married for 5 years. Tried for our first baby 6/2011, got preg right away, and miscarried. Took a 4 month break, and then had nothing but infertility & a few early miscarriages until 12/2012 when we learned I had a lumpy edge in my uterus. Doc removed it and now we are trying again....

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Old 06-06-2011, 10:37 AM
 
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I've only told DH and my sister (I wasn't planning to tell her, it just slipped out yesterday. I was too excited!)....we just moved to a new area and are living with my parents until we find a place, so I'll have to tell them soon because my mom will figure it out...the morning sickness and exhaustion has started and we're visiting a few midwives, etc.

 

But this was a surprise pg and I am THRILLED, but there are a lot of details we need to figure out...insurance, we don't know exactly where we will be living, DH just started a new job, I am in the process of figuring out if I will work or start a home business or SAH...and I'm just not ready to deal with all the questions.  We want to figure a few things out ourselves before we tell people.,


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Old 06-07-2011, 02:30 PM
 
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I was tempted to try and wait until the weekend and Father's Day to tell DH but I figured he'd ask me before then (he's aware of my cycles too) so had to tell him last night. Honestly I couldn't have kept it a secret anyway!!

 

I did want it to be a bit of a surprise though, so this is what I did:

I went to the bakery and got some buns. I put one in the oven and told him when he got home that there was a special surprise in the oven for him, and he'd better check on it. He totally didn't get it until he  asked me out loud "I don't get it. There's a ...bun..in the oven?!" Realizing as he spoke what it meant. It was fabulous!

Other people I've told so far: the chiropractor and a FB friend who I need to help me figure out carseats. Yes, it's crazy early but I've got a small car (Honda Civic) that needs to fit a 3yo, a 1yo and a newborn and I do NOT want to be messing about with carseats in the middle of a freezing Canadian winter!

 

Otherwise we're planning on waiting a few more weeks before telling the rest of the family. My mom and step-dad are having a huge party with a bunch of extended family on July 15, so we might even wait unil then. Although, again, I'm not sure I can last that long, keeping such an exciting secret is VERY hard for me!!!


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Old 06-10-2011, 06:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, DH told MIL last night. See the OP for what happened last time.

She didnt say congratulations, she wasnt excited, and she said, "Well, I was really hoping that DD would have some more time to have all of the attention on her." And probably various other things that would make me hate her but I told DH he couldnt tell me anything else. She sent me an email today about what time she is coming to pick DD up tomorrow, and she didnt mention ONE WORD about it (Dh told her when I wasnt present). It would absolutely KILL her to say congratulations. I hate hate hate that she makes everything about how she feels about it. I AM THE ONE HAVING THE BABY. I HAVE TO CARE FOR THEM BOTH. NOT HER. Ugghh....Ok Im done smile.gif

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Old 06-10-2011, 07:40 PM
 
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Everyone I have told, I told the day I got my BFP. :) I told my DH, of course. Other than that, my sister, my parents, my brother, 1 girl friend who has been trying, too and a group of girls whom i have been friends with since high school- we have a small group on google that is all baby and mama stuff. It's funny though, I didn't tell anyone in person. Texts with pics, emails and phone calls. Sometimes I have such a hard time when people openly make a fuss about me, so, this was easier.

I will let everyone else know some time in the second trimester.


Michele married to Dh since Dec 2000 and happily sharing a home with 3 kitties, 1 doggy, DS R born 8/25/09 into the arms of his mama, and DS E born 2/25/2012

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Old 06-11-2011, 08:46 AM
 
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Of course, DH knows though we had to have a discussion about him not telling people until BOTH of us were ready to share. I told my best mommy friend who has a DS the same age as mine, b/c we tell each other everything. Plus, I know she can keep a secret. I also told my SIL, b/c she told me she was and her EDD. We're both due in February so I couldn't keep it a secret. 

 

We're waiting until Father's Day at the earliest but most likely the 4th of July before telling family. Since I won't be getting an ultrasound until at least 20 weeks and maybe later, I wanted to wait until I know the baby is far enough along to have a heartbeat. I would wait longer closer to 13-16 weeks if it wouldn't be torture to DH. 


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Old 06-23-2011, 03:56 PM
 
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I've told my best friend, my OB and my naturopath, and that's it until I'm absolutely busting out and can't hide it with loose clothes anymore.  Just how I prefer it to be given our losses.


Mama to one big wild wonderful girl (9), one beautiful big boy in heaven brokenheart.gif (4), one sweet feisty little rainbow1284.gif girl (3), angel.gif Jan '11, angel.gif May '11, angel.gif July '11 and expecting a rainbow1284.gif again 14/9/12.  Wow!  Another precious boy!

 

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Old 06-23-2011, 04:09 PM
 
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I have told hubby, mom, my two good IRL friends, and then my message boards:)


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DD (10/05/06) my spirited pixie, who weaned at 3 yrs 10 months
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Old 06-23-2011, 11:44 PM
 
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I found out the Friday before I was to leave to help my mom recover from surgery.  I felt like I needed to explain why I was napping in the middle of the day, getting nauseus from her nightly popcorn, etc.  Other than my mom, my brother (who lives with her) my son and DH, I have told my friend who was my doula last time (she was the first one I told last time) and her hubby.  i have told my boards, and that's it :p.

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Old 06-24-2011, 12:25 AM
 
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I told my three closest friends, my closest sister, DH (of course), and he told his sister ('cause he wants her baby clothes if we have a girl lol). We're waiting to tell everyone else when we hit the second trimester. We didn't tell anyone at all with DS until then. We've had some losses in the family and it's been really hard. We never want to be treated differently about children the way they are. It's kind, but I just couldn't stand it. Even though both ladies have gone on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies and births and now have beautiful babies on their hips, that elephant is always in the room. Maybe it's just the way my family is..

 

Anyway, I can't wait to tell more people! I'm dying to shout it out (and I'm living vicariously through those of you who are!).

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Old 06-24-2011, 11:21 AM
 
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I've told DH (of course), my best friend, my mom and sister, and another friend who I'm closer to.

That's it so far.  I'm only 5 weeks, and we've had 2 prior miscarriages, so I am kind of hesitant...

 


SAHM to our 2 blessings through adoption!  DD 2 1/2 and DS 2.

 

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Old 06-24-2011, 09:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by montanamama1 View Post

I guess I just figured that, if we experience a loss, I will need support. So, as hard as it will be to share the unhappy news, I will be thankful that I can be open about it.



See, I'm kind of in the opposite camp. I don't want everyone to know because I don't want the constant calls and prayer requests and whatnot if something bad happens. But that's because my family (and to an extent, my fiance's family) can be a bit overbearing at times.

 

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Old 06-24-2011, 09:28 PM
 
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Well, of course my fiance. His parents know, as do mine. My dear mother opened her big mouth to my even bigger-mouthed aunt, and since she couldn't keep it under wraps at the Father's Day dinner we had last weekend, now my sister knows too.

 

The girls at work know because two of them are pregnant as well and one has had a lot of experience with infertility and such.

 

My good friend Eleanor knows because I'm in her wedding in December and I had to discuss the possibility of finding a more appropriate bridesmaid's dress (clearly this was not planned).

 

Ummm... I think that's pretty much it. We have to tread very lightly because my fiance's sister has experienced quite a bit of loss in the pregnancy department and his parents are being EXTREMELY cautious about how to tell her (almost to the point of being obsessive, but maybe that's a topic for another thread).

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Old 06-25-2011, 11:26 AM
 
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I've told 5 people. 4 of them were happy for me.

I'm really nervous about telling family. The in-laws are having a really difficult time, mostly health problems, and I don't know if they could be happy for us if they wanted to. My mom wasn't excited the last 2 times, not expecting much this time. Makes me really sad that I can't be excited yet. mecry.gif


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Old 06-25-2011, 02:18 PM
 
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I've now told my entire family. Everyone has been very excited. BIL & SIL know as well since they are also due in February, and my poor SIL has hyperemesis. We're trying to hold off on telling MIL & FIL, and we are planning on telling them with BIL & SIL by wearing "Due in February" shirts together. Hopefully, SIL won't be so sick that they find out earlier than planned. I'm not looking forward to telling them as I'm sure we'll get some snarky comments. Once MIL & FIL know, I'll probably announce on FB. I posted earlier that I planned on waiting longer, but we're too excited. I think telling later has just as many possible problems as telling early. I'm staying hopeful so telling seems hopeful. 


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Old 06-25-2011, 03:03 PM
 
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We haven't told anyone yet. I think we'll be telling MIL and FIL on Monday though. I'm so excited to share the news with them because they're pretty awesome. I guess I'll tell my family pretty soon, but I don't see them as much. I'm nervous about telling my boss. I really hope there will be some way to go part time after the baby is born, but I might need to find something else :( I love my job, but I just cant bear the thought of putting an infant in daycare. I stayed home with my dd for 3 years, and loved it.


Happily married to my soul mate, and a mommy of two girls + another baby due in June!

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