cosleeping/bedsharing with your current kid? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-21-2011, 01:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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argh i need to get this baby into her own bed.  we're doing better, she's starting the night off in her own room, and i'm just getting her and bringing her in with us when she wakes up around 11, but...

i have to get up to pee now and it makes her either scream or decide it's wakey wakey time.  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. 

how's everybody else doing?  is anyone planning to keep sharing with the new one and the old one too? 


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Old 06-21-2011, 01:58 PM
 
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M is 5, and we aren't really co-sleeping, but he comes into bed nearly every night.  We are planning on adding a twin bed (we have a plethora of spare beds in the house at the moment) to our queen bed.  We used to have two queen beds-- that was SOOO nice!!

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Old 06-21-2011, 02:02 PM
 
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I'm still co-sleeping with my 2.5 year old (L). I hope I can just bring the new baby to bed with us too, so we can all snuggle together, but I'll probably have to get up more at night with the baby to avoid waking up L. We'll have plenty of room on a king mattress. (Husband sleeps on the couch b/c he snores too loud for me to be able to sleep. :() How we are all going to get to sleep is another question...

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Old 06-21-2011, 02:04 PM
 
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Oh, no, it might sound bad, as DS in only 14m, but I want him out! I admire ppl that love and cosleep well, but that's not us:( DS wakes all night long to nurse so that's why we co-sleep. DH can't sleep w/us anymore and that makes me sad (he sleeps in the living room-we're in a 1 bed apt!). We are both restless, but I've learned not to be b/c the slightest movement from me can wake ds up. He tosses and turns and usually ends up in the middle, so I'm stuck practically falling off the bed:( It sucks and I would love my space back.

I put him down in his crib and he wakes when I come to bed and I bring him in. I'm hoping when we move in the next couple months it will be better. In the meantime, I've decided I might need to try to night wean. I hate to do it to him, but I also hate for him to have a tired, cranky mama!


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Old 06-21-2011, 02:05 PM
 
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We moved DS to his own room when I found out I was pregnant. We put a queen size mattress/boxspring with bedrails on the floor for his bed and if he wakes up at night we have the option of one of us going in there to finish the night with him if he wakes up and doesn't go back to sleep right away. Works great because I can make DH do it :D  We let him him decorate his room with those removable applique thingies, and he LOVES it. He has actually been doing very well in there and has slept through the night a few times for like the first time ever.

 

I however am having a harder time adjusting to it. I already struggle with insomnia and I can't fall asleep waiting for him to wake up, worrying I won't hear him, if I use the monitor it keeps me awake, etc etc. Hard to get used to him not being in bed with me for the first time in almost three and a half years! I miss it too :( But he was getting increasingly restless at night. I kept getting feet in the stomach, face, or knees in the back. I'd wake him if I was restless... Hubby was also getting tired of sleeping in one of the guest rooms. So it was time. But it's still sad!


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Old 06-21-2011, 03:09 PM
 
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We plan to continue bedsharing with DS and baby #2. DS will just stay between DH and me and baby will stay between me and the safety rail. We have a queen next to a twin xl. We might add another twin xl to the mix for DS so that I can be more comfortable with baby#2. DS is definitely not ready to sleep in his own room. We will just be working on him sleeping through the night and allowing DH to do nighttime parenting, of which neither he currently does or allows without significant protest. 


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Old 06-21-2011, 03:25 PM
 
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This is a major issue at our house right now.  Ds is 13 months and has always slept with us.  It's just not working any more.  We keep waking each other up and no one is getting a good night sleep.  DS is sick, so no one is getting any sleep right now, but even before he was sick it was a problem.  We just set up a twin bed in our room and are working on getting ds to sleep in it with dh.  It is working ok, but ds can climb out of the twin and into my bed so that usually happens in the middle of the night.  I feel so guilty for wanting him out of our bed, but I'm so tired, I need my sleep!  Hopefully we can find a solution that works for everyone.


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Old 06-21-2011, 05:16 PM
 
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We still co-sleep whenever my youngest needs it. He turned 3 in May. He slept in bed with DH and I until he was nearing 2, and now comes in whenever he wakes up or needs snuggles. Or if my oldest son has a sleepover, he's happy to give up his bed to sleep with us. I wasn't planning on getting him out and still letting him sleep in bed with us whenever he wanted. I was planning on buying an Arms Reach Co-Sleeper or making something like it, so baby can be on the outside and my toddler can be in the middle. 

 

But although this is working for us now, I remember bed sharing every single night until he was almost 2 ish. He would marathon nurse. I couldn't get any sleep. He would push me (unknowingly) until I was clutching the sheets trying not to fall off. I hated every second of it. We just bought a fancy new frame for our bed, so there was no way we were going to size-up. I actually just transitioned him straight to a toddler bed into his brother's room. Now they have bunk beds (although we have always had a 3 bdrm house) and he sleeps on a twin. He's happy most nights in his bed, but sometimes he wants us. After we transitioned him into his own bed, he stopped night time nursing as much. He was literally JUST doing it out of easy access. I mean, sometimes it was 8x at night. I was a working mom at the time (working 10 hr shifts until 11pm) and it just wasn't ideal for us. 

 

I was firm at first that he needed to start the night in his own bed. I would lay in there with him and run my fingers through his hair or rub his back to sleep, then sneak out when he drifted off. Of course if he woke up, I'd let him come in. Or if he was happy, I'd lay down in his bed until he fell asleep again. Now I'd say once a week MAYBE he comes in. I think because it's not "off limits", he doesn't "abuse" the right to mommy cuddle time. He also started sleeping better, too. I think gradual and with love is the key.

 

Edited to add: he also doesn't go to sleep on his own. Probably because I've always either nursed or rocked him to sleep. But to be honest, I don't really care. I'd rather him fall asleep with me rocking him and carry his 35lb butt to bed than sleep train him. love.gif


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Old 06-21-2011, 09:11 PM
 
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Nope. She is gettin' the boot smile.gif

DD has coslept with us since birth, but for the past six months I try to start her out in her own bed (montessori floor bed next to ours). Im really going to start cracking down (on myself) on where to lay her down next month. We are going on a week long vacation in August and we plan to paint her (their) new bedroom right before we leave. When we return we are going to start transitioning her into that room (its a little room off of ours, so its not far).

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Old 06-22-2011, 04:44 AM
 
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We booted DD about, um, 2 weeks before I got pregnant?  Not a coincidence or anything.  :)

 

My mom was here, and she helped us clean and set up DD's new room.  I don't know if she sprinkled grandmother magic in there or what, but DD (15 mo at the time) loved it right away and has never looked back.  I tried bringing her into our room in the middle of the night once and she cried and pointed at her own door!

 

 

She sleeps on a twin mattress on the floor.  Sometimes I spend part of the night there too.  When she's tired or wants to nurse, she goes in there and calls for me from her bed.  

 

She didn't start magically sleeping through the night or anything, but I was surprised and pleased at how much she likes her own room.  I struggle a little with getting up in the night now that I'm so tired, but I haven't had the heart to night wean her yet.  :/  


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Old 06-23-2011, 07:22 AM
 
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I've been so lucky with my boys.  The first year with them is rough - waking to nurse every hour.  When DS2 was born, DS1 was still sleeping with us.  This lasted for roughly 6 months before DS1 started pushing us away throughout the night, and mumbling, "no."  We moved our unused crib mattress to the floor in our room, and pretty much from that night on, DS1 has slept on his own.  He'll crawl into bed with us every once in awhile, but for the most part stays where he falls asleep.  Two months after being on the crib mattress, we moved him into his own room in a twin bed with a lower frame.  He loves it, and stays there all night, only waking rarely.  I figure we'll do the same with DS2.  DS2 tends to be a little clinger, so we'll see how it goes.


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Old 06-23-2011, 07:51 AM
 
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My oldest DD was co-sleeping with us since birth.When I found out I was pregnant with my second DD we began to transition oldest one out of our bed and into her own room. What a horror that was--she would wake up crying, screaming and basically both DH and I dreaded bed time like our worst nightmare. Eventually she won and we gave up trying to transition her. I bought bassinet for our new baby (who by the way hated it and ended up in our bed soon after birth, what a waste!) and continued co-sleeping. It was hard, uncomfortable and exhausting for all of us.

 

Once the baby transitioned into our bed there was literally no room, so my DH ended up migrating to our oldest DD's room and sleeping in her twin bed every night. I felt so bad but I was comforted by knowing that my babies were happy and comfy snuggling with me every night. Then a miracle happened--around the time my youngest DD turned 3 months my oldest was done. She was tired of constantly waking up to baby's crying, she was hot and uncomfortable with all of us piling up together and one day she just went to sleep to her own bed and never came back! Well, almost never, now that our youngest is no longer a baby and doesn't usually wake up crying and demanding to nurse the older one sometimes wonders back in, but that happens very rarely.

 

I guess with this new baby I am hoping for the same scenario to happen. We now have bunk beds set up and giving youngest one an option to sleep in her own bed with her big sister. Sometimes she stays there until 11pm or so, sometimes she is reluctant to go there at all. Overall I am taking it easy and hoping things will work themselves out--to be completely honest I'm too tired to worry about it right now:)

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Old 06-24-2011, 11:53 AM
 
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DD (2.5) has always slept with us. I love cosleeping with her, but there is no way dh would be able to sleep with her in between us and the new baby on the outside. So, she will have to be transitioned :-( Her toddler day bed in her room makes a great place to sit and read, but I need to get a real mattress in there so if someone needs to lay down with her they can. I'm not sure if I should move her to a bed in her own room or a mattress on the floor in ours. I guess I will ask her which she prefers. I will miss snuggling her! She still wakes to nurse at night once or twice, and I'd hate to have to get up for that so I'm not too enthusiastic about moving her. Also, we are in a cape cod,so the master bedroom is upstairs and all the others are downstairs, which sucks! She'll be so far away :-( But our house is small, I'm sure I'll still hear her if the doors are open. I suppose I should order that mattress soon and start working on the transition this summer. Ugh.

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