Relationships - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 10 Old 07-09-2011, 11:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
thecountrymouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 428
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

 


 

Married to the man of my dreams since June 2000.  We are blessed with two magical children, a daughter born in the caul on June 2005 and a  rainbow1284.gifson born under water on June 2012.  

  

thecountrymouse is offline  
#2 of 10 Old 07-09-2011, 12:31 PM
 
jmd5294's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: US
Posts: 32
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I was clear with my DH from the beginning-- I told him I needed his support more than ever, and he would need to step it up and do stuff that I normally took care of.  My hubby does well with clear expectations. 

He has been way more helpful since I had that talk with him (at around 5 weeks pregnant).  He understands now that I am just exhausted, and I simply cannot do all the stuff I used to do.  That (hopefully) will change in the next few months, but right now, I am completely exhausted all the time, and can barely keep up with the kids, let alone the housework!


SAHM to our 2 blessings through adoption!  DD 2 1/2 and DS 2.

 

jmd5294 is offline  
#3 of 10 Old 07-11-2011, 09:46 AM
 
Adaline'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 4,757
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH and I have been pretty good lately. One thing that I really hate is that he works manual labor, so pretty much every time I say "I'm tired" he chuckles and has an attitude that is like "pssht...youre tired? Ive been working for the past 14 hours". It gets old.

Holly and David partners.gif

Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

Adaline'sMama is offline  
#4 of 10 Old 07-11-2011, 10:12 AM
 
hildare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: in-the-sticks-off-a-dirt-road, GA
Posts: 2,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

things around our house would be a whole lot better if i felt like DTD.  

even though i am trying very hard to pretend like i would not rather fall asleep at 8.  poor dh, he spends all day with a demanding screaming toddler and then i don't even want to hang out with him (well, i do want to, but i'd rather sleep) much less do it.


Is it getting lonely in the echo chamber yet?

hildare is offline  
#5 of 10 Old 07-11-2011, 12:29 PM
 
mamanoish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: On the beach in sunny Florida
Posts: 270
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My DH sounds similar to yours. We aren't really the kind of couple who sits down and discusses our feelings, marriage or future. It's just NOT us. I don't think it makes us a bad couple, I think we just found eachother and are really similarly non-emotional people. But with that said, I am pretty much also a "manwife" (with less demand than you living in the city, but more than the average wife), and had to be pretty clear with him that I NEEDED help. I tried to give him hints, let him know I was struggling, it didn't help. I had to sit down and say "I feel awful. I can't do this alone. Either help me, or I'm going to nag you to death." redface.gif He got the point. 

 

The next day he let me sleep at 6 pm until 7 the next day, put both boys to bed (so MY job), got up in the morning, made them breakfast... which is a lot in our house! Don't get me wrong, he's a great dad, but I'm kind of a control freak and would rather do things my way. Going on baby #3, that needs to change. 


Jesse, mama to my three wonderful boys, our newest born at home late Jan 2012 luxlove.gif

 

 

 

 

mamanoish is offline  
#6 of 10 Old 07-12-2011, 08:05 AM
 
memz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In lala land....
Posts: 664
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by hildare View Post

things around our house would be a whole lot better if i felt like DTD.

even though i am trying very hard to pretend like i would not rather fall asleep at 8. poor dh, he spends all day with a demanding screaming toddler and then i don't even want to hang out with him (well, i do want to, but i'd rather sleep) much less do it.

This is also my situation... And I feel bad but I'd really rather sleep!!!!

Memz, with mylove.gif and mommy  of babygirl.gif born 01/17/10 and 3 cat.gif familybed1.gifsaynovax.giffly-by-nursing1.gif

***4** *8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36**stork-boy.gif40

 

 

memz is offline  
#7 of 10 Old 07-12-2011, 10:32 AM
 
FrannieM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Amsterdam, NL
Posts: 330
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

yeah, sex has not been on the menu here, which has made DH antsy and I feel bad but I just don't feel sexy!

 

I am more irritable now so I did tell DH I need him to be the bigger person and take my irritations in stride (in stead of responding in kind!) and he is understanding of that.


Also, he is incredibly happy with this pregnancy (we essentially did this at his request) so he is being EXTREMELY loving towards me, which is so nice.  I mean, he usually is anyway but he has stepped it up.

 

But yeah, I don't feel like a great wife really, with my volatile emotions and my exhaustion.

FrannieM is offline  
#8 of 10 Old 07-12-2011, 12:36 PM
 
libabean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 34
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

DH and I have been pretty good lately. One thing that I really hate is that he works manual labor, so pretty much every time I say "I'm tired" he chuckles and has an attitude that is like "pssht...youre tired? Ive been working for the past 14 hours". It gets old.


My DH does that sometimes too, even though he doesn't even do manual labor.  I just tell him to talk to me about being tired after his body has built a human being from scratch.

libabean is offline  
#9 of 10 Old 07-12-2011, 03:57 PM
 
RayN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 55
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

DH and I are close, and always have been. We started out as a long distance relationship, and our first year of friendship was over the phone, then when we started dating we only saw each other once a month or every other month, so we've always been talkers. We are both really excited about having a baby, and we'd decided to try so, it was expected. We rarely ever fight, I have issues with yelling so even out fights aren't what most people call a fight. We talk things out, and he is very understanding. I consider myself very lucky. I'm close like that with my entire family too, it's stronger with DH, but I come from a very large, yet close family, and it took him some time to get used to that. He feels just as bad about the stacked up laundry as I do, cause without me even asking he's decided to help out around the house even though we went with the "traditional house wife" way and he works and I stay home.

 

We're not perfect, we do have fights and disagreements, just not as often as most of our friends seem to.


Expecting #1 in Feb 2012.3rdtri.gif winner.jpgcd.gif  delayedvax.gif homeschool.gif  ribbonrwb.gif  

RayN is offline  
#10 of 10 Old 07-12-2011, 07:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
thecountrymouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 428
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I always try to focus on the positive.  I am getting so emotional lately and it's hard to see past how I am feeling.  My husband does what he can.  He actually does a lot of the grocery shopping and cleans the kitchen several nights a week.  He doesn't do home repairs, but whatever.  He has been taking care of our chickens because they don't seem to like me anymore.  The two of us are on the same team, we have the same life goals and we love our little family.  I need to count my blessings and lighten up.  


 

Married to the man of my dreams since June 2000.  We are blessed with two magical children, a daughter born in the caul on June 2005 and a  rainbow1284.gifson born under water on June 2012.  

  

thecountrymouse is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off